How do you define "Opening Up" emotionally?

[sammyj]

Date: 2/20/2009 11:26:38 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Sad to say, but the on/off again girl was my best girl friend, and it clearly doesn''t work. I don''t have many close friends. The ones I get along best with are guys, and they''d do just fine without the tears.

I have one other girl friend who I''ve known since I was 3 we''re not that close (she thinks i''m closed off

), but I really trust her. I just feel like if I called one day and tried to lay it out on her she''d be like ''Holy crap, where did my *real* Elledizzy go and WHO is this?''

Maybe I should just start trying to slowly develop a better relationship with her. She''s always been there for me.

On a side note, I love the self-help books, but always feel like such a nerd buying them. Guess I can''t open up to the Borders cashier, either.

Awww elle. Everyone has given such good advice that I don''t know if there''s a whole lot more to add. I did want to say that the highlighted line above may be a reason why you''re ''emotionally closed.'' Are you scared of what others will think? Are you scared of being vulnerable? I have a friend who is happy-go-lucky all the time, but I know she doesn''t like having any attention on her, so she hardly ever shares any of her troubles. I do find her difficult to communicate with sometimes, and we all just see her as Little Miss Sunshine, but I would never cut her off as a friend because she wasn''t sharing every little detail with me. She''s not a *best friend* though, so maybe that''s where the situation differs. There are friends that I completely confide in (and I get the same from them because of the relationship we''ve developed) and there are friends that only know what I want to tell them.

Did I get a point across? Probably not...

I also wanted to say that I think we''d be good friends IRL too. Your PS personality cracks me up and I am also here if you need anything!

 

[Lauren8211]

HH: You''re so right. It''s the vulnerability that they''re picking up on. I don''t do "vulnerable" well. Guility as charged.

All: Thanks for your advice and support. This has been so incredibly helpful for me. Even though I''m not entirely sure how to handle it all, I have a lot of perspective and hopefully I can figure it out from here.. or maybe... just maybe... let someone in deep enough to help me figure it out.

No promises though!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 2/20/2009 12:56:17 PM
Author: sammyj

Date: 2/20/2009 11:26:38 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Sad to say, but the on/off again girl was my best girl friend, and it clearly doesn''t work. I don''t have many close friends. The ones I get along best with are guys, and they''d do just fine without the tears.

I have one other girl friend who I''ve known since I was 3 we''re not that close (she thinks i''m closed off

), but I really trust her. I just feel like if I called one day and tried to lay it out on her she''d be like ''Holy crap, where did my *real* Elledizzy go and WHO is this?''

Maybe I should just start trying to slowly develop a better relationship with her. She''s always been there for me.

On a side note, I love the self-help books, but always feel like such a nerd buying them. Guess I can''t open up to the Borders cashier, either.

Awww elle. Everyone has given such good advice that I don''t know if there''s a whole lot more to add. I did want to say that the highlighted line above may be a reason why you''re ''emotionally closed.'' Are you scared of what others will think? Are you scared of being vulnerable? I have a friend who is happy-go-lucky all the time, but I know she doesn''t like having any attention on her, so she hardly ever shares any of her troubles. I do find her difficult to communicate with sometimes, and we all just see her as Little Miss Sunshine, but I would never cut her off as a friend because she wasn''t sharing every little detail with me. She''s not a *best friend* though, so maybe that''s where the situation differs. There are friends that I completely confide in (and I get the same from them because of the relationship we''ve developed) and there are friends that only know what I want to tell them.

Did I get a point across? Probably not...

I also wanted to say that I think we''d be good friends IRL too. Your PS personality cracks me up and I am also here if you need anything!

You did get it across! And it''s dead-on. Although I don''t think I''m sun-shiney at all. I''m not that girl. I''m happy, but not overly-so. I''m just laid back, or at least I appear to be.

Oh, and we''d have a blast IRL! You make me laugh! A girl in my class mentioned doing Crossfit briefly and I was thinking to myself, OMG, is that sammyj?

But then I remembered you''re in Canada, without Target, so it couldn''t possibly be you. I wish it was though.

 

[tlh]

elledizzy5 - Hmm I think fiery sums it up pretty well for me.

I do have to say though, I have a girlfriend who once complained that I didn''t open up emotionally... and what she was really complaining about was that I didnt ask enough questions about her... she was pi$$y because I couldn''t read her mind.

It is true though, I am not an emotional gusher. I tend to keep a lot inside actually... until I actually open up and then I need some pepto for my diahrehea of the mouth.

 

[Porridge]

Honey, don't stress this silly statement. You are the way you are, and from my short time here reading your posts, you sound really lovely! But your friend wants you to change, and you're not doing anything wrong. It sucks to lose a friend...but this is her problem, not yours.

ETA I totally skipped the middle part of this discussion - I posted after reading only your first post! (Sometimes I do that so my opinion isn't coloured by other peoples

)

Anyway, I still stand by my first comments. But if you feel like you want to change aspects of your personality, for yourself, then go for it! Those migraines don't sound good, and I agree with what the others have said.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 2/20/2009 1:02:28 PM
Author: elledizzy5

You did get it across! And it''s dead-on. Although I don''t think I''m sun-shiney at all. I''m not that girl. I''m happy, but not overly-so. I''m just laid back, or at least I appear to be.

Oh, and we''d have a blast IRL! You make me laugh! A girl in my class mentioned doing Crossfit briefly and I was thinking to myself, OMG, is that sammyj?

But then I remembered you''re in Canada, without Target, so it couldn''t possibly be you. I wish it was though.

Oh elle. Does the non-overly-happy-laidback-PS''s favourite funny girl do hugs? I hope so...cuz I do!

Ya...I''m trying to not be the girl that talks about Crossfit all of the time. Whenever you visit a Target be sure to think of me!