How do PROPOSALS work?

[cutes814]

Hi everyone,

My boyfriend and I are currently looking for a ring. We''''re have narrowed it down to a few loose stones and are planning to have it set into a regular tiffany 6 prong plat knife edge setting.

My question is, how does this proposal thing work? I mean if we''''re picking out the ring together, then how can he propose and still keep the sense of surprise alive? Obviously it won''''t be a COMPLETE surprise since I know it will be coming soon...so I''''m asking for everyone''''s insight.

If you have any stories of how you and your SO picked out a ring and got the suprise proposal down, please do share.

Thanks!

P.S. I''''m posting this thread again because I accidently posted it in the show me the ring section....

whoops, feel like an idiot.....

 

[Regular Guy]

Milly,

I''m in the minority here, with my wife being introduced to the offer of a ring with a proposal....so you may find the others comments more helpful, but...

...don''t you suppose that, some of what you''re looking for has come already? That is, if you''re looking for a ring together, the conversation that initiated that decision must have represented something of an inquiry and acceptance, no?

My wife says that when I asked her if she''d like to buy my car for $1 (that my company had sold me on the cheap)...that that was sort of like her first approach at being asked the important question, since she could not have accepted if she wasn''t serious about me. So in comparison, your deciding to shop for a ring together is rather more direct.

From past threads, and others comments, hopefully you''ll get better answers.

With best wishes,

P.S. Proposal Ideas is another forum you may want to address, though, there again, more posters there may be taking the "so called" traditional route.

 

[cutes814]

Regular guy,

yes, some of what I'm looking for has definitely come already since our coversation started with him asking me if I wanted to look at E-rings. And of course I did! We're both at that stage where we've been ready for a long long time. See this is my situation. We've been living together for more than 3 years and we have a 19 month old daughter. So we've been committed for awhile now. But my question was how does one keep the element of surprise in a proposal if we both are expecting it?

I'm currently reading up on the proposal ideas and are we there yet? forums. So I'm starting to get an idea of how it would work. Thanks for the response though. I appreciate it.

And I'm so happy that your proposal went the way it did. That is so lovely. I would love it if mine happened that way too, but sometimes (in my case), unexpected things happen and we welcome it with our open hearts, so our way is kinda reverse!

 

[Regular Guy]

Milly,

Wishing you well, of course.

Although this thread is sort of an unfinished story, it could provide some thoughts...added to which, seeing you''re in SF, the ideas that the Japanese Gardens and the Chart House are (were) two personal favorites of mine in the area.

With good wishes to you and yours,

 

[Lord Summerisle]

I suppose I''m in a better position to answer this since we where in a similar situation to yourselves.

As in we at the point of ring window shopping shopping... then going through process of getting the diamond, and having the ring made... She saw the diamond unmounted when it arrived... but didnt want to see the ring till i popped the question...

now having the ring made was a journey... and took longer than expected due to various circumstances and the fact that while my jeweller is very very good, it comes at the price of it takes a little longer...

So i didnt mention when i picked up the ring, and went on holiday with it hidden in my pocket... asked her father while we where packing the car... then popped the question half way through the holiday.

so in that respect while she knew a ring was coming... she didnt know WHEN it was coming...

 

[cutes814]

Lord,

Thanks so much for your story. I''m starting to get a sense of how this works. Thanks!

 

[jellybean]

My sister picked out her entire ring. Her now-husband had it for a about a week before he proposed b/c he was so excited he couldn''t wait. So she knew about the ring, just not when he would give it to her. She thought she had to wait a lot longer than she did.

She does admit that she wishes that it were a complete surprise, that she missed out on that element. Most of my friends were proposed, or given the ring the same way. I was one of only two people that was completely surprised (in my circle of friends and family).

If you''re looking at rings together I don''t think there''s any way to have the proposal a complete surprise b/c most of the time there will be a situation where you think that this is where you may get the ring. For example, my girlfriend picked out her ring. Her husband waited almost 6 months to give it to her b/c he wanted to have the situation as special as possible. So every birthday, holiday, dinner at a nice restaurant that came by, she was hoping for the ring. They even went on vacation and he didn''t give it to her there. So she set herself up for disappointment all the time. He finally hid it in their new house and she had to find it the day they moved in.

 

[cutes814]

Wow, 6 months is pretty long!!! I''ll be pulling out my hair!

Heehee

Thanks for sharing the story though.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I was in your situation, only mine was even less of a surprise in a way. We picked out the ring and stone together, and both were there when we picked it up. However, we were leaving for a vacation the next day to England. My husband had originally planned to propose on our anniversary, which was 1.5 months away, but we got the ring earlier than expected and he couldn''t wait. I had actually been wearing the ring around and when I went to take it off to put it away for the trip, he told me to go ahead and keep wearing it (he was afraid of keeping it in his pocket during the trip and we were staying in a hostel and he didn''t want to keep it there).

So, obviously I knew during my trip that he would be proposing sometime, but the actual proposal was still a surprise. He apparently had tried twice before, but decided it wasn''t the right moment. He proposed after we''d been walking around Covent Garden and we had found a very pretty small garden that was hidden from the street. The funny thing was, my hand was swollen from walking and he had to yank it off and then shove it back on when he proposed.

Was it a complete surprise? No. Did it make it any less special? Of course not. Now, if we had to do it over again, I would''ve either worn the ring on my right hand, then switched it over post-proposal, or he would''ve just gotten me a plain ring and we would''ve picked out the ring after. But it was definitely fun to have something to show my friends in England right way.

Good luck!