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how do I upgrade my ring???

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darena

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 6, 2006
Messages
31
Hello everybody!
I think I need an advice.

My husband gave this ring for my Birthday. I have extra money so I would like to change it a little bit .I want to keep the setting so hopefully he doesn''t even notice the change.

The ring I have consists of 8 little stones. Total diamond weight is 1/3 carat. Minimum color is I, Minimum Clarity I2.
I think I want to buy marquise shape diamond and replace the four little middle stones with it. I am willing to spend about 2000 to 2500 dollars on the upgrade.

So I have some questions.
1. Do you think that a jeweler will be able to replace the stones?? How much do they usually charge for it?

2. What size of the stone should I look for, so it fits perfectly between those little side diamonds?

3. Is there any style of ring I can go with if I want to keep four replaced diamonds and put them back in the setting? (For example, if I want to set the little stones around the marquise diamond)



Thanks a lot

darena123.JPG
 

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decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Honestly ... I''d leave that ring as is & spend your 2K to 2.5K on a different ring. Maybe a solitaire that you could upgrade later with "mad money".

Sometimes it doesn''t make sense to "fix" something - and, IMO, this is one of those times. Though, perhaps a skilled bench jeweler could find a way to do what you''re wishing for ...
 

Dee*Jay

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 26, 2006
Messages
12,927
Boy, this is gonna be a tough one... To replace the middle four diamonds with one marquise you will need to know what the approximate measurements of the current stones are (length X width) so you can find something the right size. And that's just the starting point; the whole setting will have to be reworked.

As for your husband not noticing--ha ha, good luck! My husband never notices ANYTHING except the things I don't want him to.
Would you be "in trouble" if he did notice that you replaced the center of a ring that he bought you with something else? That might be something to consider too.

Personally, I like Deco's idea of a different ring altogether.
 

DBM

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 24, 2006
Messages
404
a ring like yours in 14 Kt yellow gold and those small 4 sidestones in total is probably something like $250.

the labor of taking all the stones out (even the sides will probably have to be taken out while the center head is changed), cutting out the old center, soddering in the new head, resetting everything anew... it''s not worth it.

just use the money for a new ring and use the small round diamonds in the new setting if you''re happy with them (but if they''re I2s and your center diamond is nice that won''t be an option.)
 

darena

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 6, 2006
Messages
31
Well, I would rather him to notice later then to buy another ring. I would tell him a lie that one stone was missing and I went to the jeweler and got it "fixed" this way =)))
Actually, it was supposed to be my wedding ring.
We got married a year ago. We were getting married in a harry due a lot of circumstances. So I had just regular gold band and was still dreaming of a big ring when we get stable.
My birthday and our anniversary is the same day. So I got this present. I didn''t have a chance to choose. But my babe is very proud of his present , especially when we are going through such difficult times.
But I am still dreaming of something sparkling
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
Given the information you've shared I would not upgrade this ring. If I were you, I would talk to my husband and let him know I'd like to upgrade at some point and stash money away as a couple to do so. I wouldn't redesign this ring for a number of reasons, I would just wear it as a RHR when I eventually got my upgrade. Lying to replace or change the ring he chose with something you like better just doesn't sit well with me.
 

Dee*Jay

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
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12,927
OK, so what if we help you find a nice marquise stone and you get it set in a similar way? As DMB mentioned, the small sides won't be very much $. It would be helpful though if you could get us some idea of the size of the four stones so that the ring might end up looking somewhat similar size-wize if someone (i.e., your husband, LOL) just took a quick glance at it.

One thought: Does the jeweler where your husband got the ring offer any sort of trade in or upgrade policy? Maybe that way you could get some value for your current ring. Not sure what the relationship is between your husband and the jeweler though; that might be a factor if you don't want the cat to be let out of the bag.


ETA: Kimberly and I were typing at the same time. She does have some good advice in her post...
 

poptart

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 23, 2006
Messages
1,899
I agree with Kimberly H. Just tell him how you feel about it, let him be proud of his purchase, and upgrade it later when you''ve saved up a bit. Lying about the ring also makes me uncomfortable.

*M*
 

Lynn B

Ideal_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2004
Messages
5,609
Date: 12/6/2006 5:18:34 PM
Author: Dee*Jay

It would be helpful though if you could get us some idea of the size of the four stones so that the ring might end up looking somewhat similar size-wize if someone (i.e., your husband, LOL) just took a quick glance at it.
I would guess each stone is about .04 points, wouldn't you guys agree (with a tcw of 1/3 carat)?

But I'm with everyone else... I think I'd leave it alone for now. Wear it and enjoy it... and down the road someday, get a new ring that you pick out -- and switch this one to your right hand.
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Man -- this is less about rings & more about *relationships*.

I don''t think it''s wise to lie about your wedding ring. You''re willing to lie to get what you want, but afraid to hurt his feelings?

In life - you get what you ask for. If you''re not happy with the ring he selected ... what''s so awful about saying so ... or enjoying it & telling him how much the SENTIMENT means to you but confessing that you''ve ALWAYS wanted a bigger/more sparkly/whatever stone & would like to save to get it *someday*. At least all the cards are on the table.

His feelings aren''t MORE important that YOUR feelings. But they become so if you keep all your feelings to yourself to protect his.

It just seems like your "scheme" is setting up a less than ideal "system" for your whole life with him.

But what do I know? *shrug*
 

darena

Rough_Rock
Joined
Dec 6, 2006
Messages
31
As I was writing my message I was thinking the same thing. I don not want to start my family life with cheating. But kind of still want a bigger ring. And I am very afraid that he is not going to ask my opinion when he decides to buy another one. I really enjoyed the gift and how it was presented to me. It was very romantic. I think sometime in 3 - 4 months I will talk to him about my feelings and future upgrading =))
Thanks a lot
 

decodelighted

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
11,534
Date: 12/6/2006 5:49:35 PM
Author: darena
I think sometime in 3 - 4 months I will talk to him about my feelings and future upgrading =))
Sounds like a great idea! And am glad to hear the presentation was romantic!

My hunch: men want to please us ... but don't always understand the intricacies of why one thing would please us MORE than another. A diamond ring is a diamond ring ... why would one be "better" than the other, "more desirable" or "more expensive"??

OUR job is to educate them on WHY we want WHAT we want ... over time ... gradually ...


The pro-level, big-league, A+++ upgraders around here should be teaching SEMINARS!!!
 

february2003bride

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2005
Messages
3,542
Don''t lie about your ring; it will only cause mistrust should your DH find out and really give the ring some bad karma


Wear your gorgeous ring with pride however tell your DH what you really had hoped for and that you wanted to be included in the project. Make sure to emphasize that you ADORE the ring he gave you and would love to wear it as a right hand ring, or maybe pass down to a daughter or daughter in law some day... but that you had hoped for a more traditional engagement ring.
Good luck!
 

momof3

Rough_Rock
Joined
Oct 26, 2006
Messages
58
i think your new plan is a good one. it''s too new a gift to comment on your *real* thoughts - you''ll never get another present!

at some point down the road you two will be able to share most things comfortably and it won''t be a big deal at all.
say,
good luck...it would be a nice ring to pass on to a daughter one day, don''t go thru messing with it.
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
Date: 12/6/2006 5:49:35 PM
Author: darena
As I was writing my message I was thinking the same thing. I don not want to start my family life with cheating. But kind of still want a bigger ring. And I am very afraid that he is not going to ask my opinion when he decides to buy another one. I really enjoyed the gift and how it was presented to me. It was very romantic. I think sometime in 3 - 4 months I will talk to him about my feelings and future upgrading =))
Thanks a lot
It''s okay to want what you want, just don''t sacrafice the trust you''ve built in your relationship for it. I think it''s a great idea to talk to him in a few months about how much you love your ring, but that it wasn''t what you invisioned and you would like to continue to wear it but also purchase another ring in the future that you choose together so that your vision is included in the purchase.

Good luck and let us know how it goes!
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
55,054
I wouldn''t even tell him it isn''t what you wanted. In a few months, I''d show him an ad or webpage of a ring you love, and tell him you have found your dream "anniversary ring"! That way, you pick out what you like, and give the big hint that it is what you want for the next (or later) anniversary. Then when you get it, be sure to keep wearing the other ring for awhile either on your right hand or alternate wearing it with the new one until he isn''t noticing any more!
 

kcoursolle

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
10,589
Date: 12/6/2006 11:14:32 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I wouldn''t even tell him it isn''t what you wanted. In a few months, I''d show him an ad or webpage of a ring you love, and tell him you have found your dream ''anniversary ring''! That way, you pick out what you like, and give the big hint that it is what you want for the next (or later) anniversary. Then when you get it, be sure to keep wearing the other ring for awhile either on your right hand or alternate wearing it with the new one until he isn''t noticing any more!
I like this strategy. I think you will hurt his feelings if you try to change the current ring, and I don''t think you would be able to get away with it without him noticiing.
 

asscherisme

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 6, 2006
Messages
2,641
What diamondseeker said! I totally agree with her. I would never say you don''t like it.

Do you want another shape? Round, princess? Use that and in a while, say that you love the ring but always dreamed of X shape for a engagement ring. The ring he gave you could be your birthday ring and a seperate ring could be the belated engagment ring with the money you have saved.

If you go with a simple solitaire setting in gold for about $200 or $300 that would leave you $1,700 or $1,800 for a super stone. You could get a really nice stone for that online!
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
Men are very funny creatures. Sometines, if you hurt their feelings in trying to get a point across you tend to lose them, so I would try to gently finesse things. At some point in time I am sure you will have your dream ring. Whatever happens, you will always treasure this ring for the sentiment and care that went into it, and you can move it over to the right hand in time.
 

crowmama

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Dec 20, 2001
Messages
161
Everyone here has given some great advice and insight...

Men are so proud of the jewelry they buy their ladies, even if it''s not what we ladies want! There are some pieces my hubby has purchased for me over the years that I''ve said "Oy!" to myself about, but have worn them occasionally to please him. It''s the effort, the generosity, the "honey I thought about you" part that is important.

Maybe, depending on where he purchased it for you, they have an upgrade policy? You could wear it (for him) for awhile, and then upgrade.

Or, as others have said, maybe spend some $$$ in a little bit to buy the diamond (or sapphire, or amethyst, or...) you want, and these small rounds can be added to THAT ring for accents? That way, you''re not rejecting his ring, but blending it into something that you want, too.
 
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