How do I put a price tag on a ring for the love of my life?

[levigarrett]

I, like many Americans, am a hard working person that wants the best for my soon to be future fiance and eventually wife.

How do I really put a limit on a e-ring for my future wife?

I am a giving person that has trouble limiting my spending when it comes to her desires. Fortunately my GF does not take advantage of my kindness.

Is there a rule of thumb to follow or should I go buy with my heart and get three more jobs?
Any suggestions.
Thanks alot.
Personally experience may be helpful.

 

[InLuvWithMrH]

Go with what you can afford...you can always upgrade for an anniversary gift. If her heart is set on something which may cost more, see if she is willing to pitch in.

 

[E B]

Buy what you can afford. If she's as special as you say, she'll love whatever you buy her. Be involved with the ring making process (custom might be a wonderful idea, if budget allows), and put feeling and love into it. That'll mean more than any money you can spend.

 

[diamondlil]

I total agree. Buy what you can afford. I know that seeing many of the beautiful rings here at PS can warp one''s impression of what is average. Your GF will adore whatever you present her with (whether it be a diamond or a Pepsi tab) if it is give with love. Build your life together, and someday, if she wants a honkin'' ring, you can celebrate you ability to buy it for her without going into debt.

Just my 2 cents -- from a 20-year-married romantic.

 

[laney]

Well, I will say this. Your proposal and when you propose will mean more than the ring you get.

So, if you are struggling because you want to propose now, but feel that you can''t yet afford the ring that you want to get her... remember that she really wants to hear you say that you want to spend the rest of your life with her ...

There are many things you can do in a situation like that. You could make an educated purchase at a place that will allow you to get 100% credit for an upgrade (some of the vendors here do) - and get her what you can afford now. Then maybe right before you get married (engagements now a days are around a year) you could save and surprise her with a larger stone before the wedding....

Or lots of other things..

But really, if you both have talked about spending the rest of your life with one another - your proposal with a ring of any size is what she''ll remember..

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree with everyone. Spend what you can afford. My FI picked an amount that he could pay with cash (he hates using his credit card). You don''t want that kind of debt hanging over your head. If you do have a budget you should post what you want/budget in Rocky Talky. They have helped many grooms pick out a perfect ring (which they could afford).

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Yes, there is a rule of thumb and I believe it is from one to two months salary. So if you made say, $48,000 a year, then the ring would be $4,000-$8000. Is this what you were asking?

 

[E B]

Date: 2/4/2006 10:45:21 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Yes, there is a rule of thumb and I believe it is from one to two months salary. So if you made say, $48,000 a year, then the ring would be $4,000-$8000. Is this what you were asking?

DeBeers invented this rule. Some people choose to go by it, but I think it's a tad ridiculous to think it's what you must go by.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, of course, no one has to go by anything! The original post was asking for some guidance:

"Is there a rule of thumb to follow or should I go buy with my heart and get three more jobs?"

Three more jobs indicated he was thinking maybe he should spend a lot more than 2 months salary!

 

[E B]

Date: 2/4/2006 10:55:51 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Well, of course, no one has to go by anything! The original post was asking for some guidance:


''Is there a rule of thumb to follow or should I go buy with my heart and get three more jobs?''



Three more jobs indicated he was thinking maybe he should spend a lot more than 2 months salary!

Oh, I know!

No worries...I just hate it when men feel they should spend a certain amount, especially if it''s more than they can afford. But of course, the diamond giants had to set a guideline as to "how much one SHOULD spend", when in actuality, it makes much more sense to spend what you can afford.

 

[ame]

Buy what you can afford. Later in life you will likely be more financially sound and more fiscally comfortable. When youare, buy a honker if she wants one.

 

[Lorelei]

I agree, buy what you can afford, that''s what upgrades are for!

 

[valeria101]

Date: 2/4/2006 7:48:44 PM
Author:levigarrett

How do I really put a limit on a e-ring for my future wife?

You don't.

Usually, whatever object cannot be transformed into a symbol by its price tag. It is somewhat harder to make it significant than burning a hole in the pocket... You should already have all the data for the 'how to' and no one else does - except for the recipient, hopefully! Meaning, at most you could ask carefully either for straight directions or some related hints from the one person in the know.


My 2c

 

[bar01]

Date: 2/4/2006 8:42:30 PM
Author: laney
Well, I will say this. Your proposal and when you propose will mean more than the ring you get.



So, if you are struggling because you want to propose now, but feel that you can't yet afford the ring that you want to get her... remember that she really wants to hear you say that you want to spend the rest of your life with her ...



There are many things you can do in a situation like that. You could make an educated purchase at a place that will allow you to get 100% credit for an upgrade (some of the vendors here do) - and get her what you can afford now. Then maybe right before you get married (engagements now a days are around a year) you could save and surprise her with a larger stone before the wedding....



Or lots of other things..



But really, if you both have talked about spending the rest of your life with one another - your proposal with a ring of any size is what she'll remember..

Words of wisdom

Also do keep in mind any additional money you and your gal may need to put towards the wedding, honeymoon, or perhaps related to the purchase of a home.

 

[Lorelei]

Levigarrett, I completely understand that you want the best for your FB. I say again get what you can afford now, the proposal is what is going to mean the most to her and your future home together and furnishing it, and the wedding etc will cost plenty and should be a higher priority than the ring. Many of the larger diamonds were upgrades and were many years coming, worn by women who always longed for a bigger rock, not all women feel this way however but if you think your FB would love a bigger diamond in a few years when your finances improve then it would make a wonderful anniversary gift. Whatever you buy her I am sure she will love and any future diamonds won''t mean as much to her as the one you proposed with - even if they are 4 times bigger! Now a question. What size diamond were you hoping for and what shape? With tweaking colour and clarity but never cut and an idea of your budget a larger rock may be doable! Let us know if you would like us to help - we enjoy that!

 

[ladykemma]

my hubby bought me a home and an ideal quarter carat round diamond. House is "paid fer" now; and at age 42 I went out and bought me a honker.

No debt! don't believe all that de beers advertising.

 

[blodthecat]

Yeah...I agree with all the above comments.

It isn't all about the ring. It's about your love and commitment for each other. So set yourself a sensible budget. When you are just starting out, there is an aweful lot of expense and things you need to save for. Late on, when you have your home established etc...you may find you have more cash available for upgrades etc. Although your future wife might not be interested in spending money on bigger diamonds. (not everyone is obsessed with diamonds - on pricescope we are the exception, rather than the rule)

Have you any idea of what kind of an ering she would like?

Blod

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 2/4/2006 10:45:21 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Yes, there is a rule of thumb and I believe it is from one to two months salary. So if you made say, $48,000 a year, then the ring would be $4,000-$8000. Is this what you were asking?

spending 4000 dollars for a ring on a 48,000 per year salary is absolutely insane......that''s a teachers salary. no way! two thousand tops, cash only!

1/3 carat anyone? in platinum yum....

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 2/5/2006 8:02:50 AM
Author: ladykemma

Date: 2/4/2006 10:45:21 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Yes, there is a rule of thumb and I believe it is from one to two months salary. So if you made say, $48,000 a year, then the ring would be $4,000-$8000. Is this what you were asking?

spending 4000 dollars for a ring on a 48,000 per year salary is absolutely insane......that''s a teachers salary. no way! two thousand tops, cash only!

1/3 carat anyone? in platinum yum....

It really depends on the circumstances, finances such as savings, investments as well as salary. The two months salary rule is a marketing concept dreamt up by De Beers and there are no hard and fast rules. If for example you have a $35k salary and want to spend $8k on a diamond and you can afford it and want to do it, may have savings etc, then that''s fine. Whatever you and your GF are comfortable with, the ring only has to please the two of you after all. Some may prefer to have a small wedding and a bigger rock for example, whatever works for you both.

 

[fatafelice]

Date: 2/5/2006 8:02:50 AM
Author: ladykemma

Date: 2/4/2006 10:45:21 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Yes, there is a rule of thumb and I believe it is from one to two months salary. So if you made say, $48,000 a year, then the ring would be $4,000-$8000. Is this what you were asking?

spending 4000 dollars for a ring on a 48,000 per year salary is absolutely insane......that''s a teachers salary. no way! two thousand tops, cash only!

1/3 carat anyone? in platinum yum....

Hey, I''m a teacher and I WISH that was my salary!!!

I agree with everyone else...buy what you can afford after saving for a little while. I have recently been thinking that maybe BF and I would be better off if I just went with a diamond band, like a 3/4 eternity, that I could later wear as a wedding band. It might be a lot more pratical for us. That''s what you have to figure out...What is most reasonable for your situation?

 

[snuga]

My advice isn''t new.. I would save up for a little while and get something that you can afford without going into debt. I''m sure that no matter what you pick she will love it!! Good Luck!

 

[pearcrazy]

The size of the diamond you give her in no way reflects how much you love her. A quarter carat or 5 carats, it makes no difference as both are merely symbols of your love. I've heard women say to others with big diamonds, "Wow, look at that rock!! He must really LOVE you!" But, we all know that's not really true. It just means he spent more money. If he has it to spend then he's done well, if he doesn't, then he's a fool for spending what he doesn't have. If your girl is practical she wouldn't want you getting in over your head with debt to make a big show, she already knows how much you make and has a good idea of what you'll be able to afford. If you don't care about the ring being a surprise, then let her help you pick it out after you two decide on a budget that won't have you eating mac and cheese for the next decade.

When DH and I were talking marriage, I asked him how much he wanted to spend and then I knew to limit our search to stay inside his budget. I knew he loved me but didn't have a lot to spend, but I also knew I didn't want to marry into a whole bunch of his debt. We ended up getting my ring in a consignment shop. I got a beautiful ring that we both were proud of and it came in $800 under his budget. That got us a nicer honeymoon. Honestly though, I'd have been thrilled with anything he gave me. A surprise would have been exciting but I had a BLAST trying on rings and looking around. I got a bigger diamond around our 13th anniversary.

My parents got married without an engagement ring. My dad was a poor 1st lieutenant in the Air Force and my mom knew that. She didn't care about having a diamond ring, she just wanted to marry him. After putting a ring on layaway for 9 months, my dad presented my mom with her engagement ring on their first anniversary. It isn't the size of the ring, it's the size of the commitment.

Now, figure out your budget and let the PS'er help you get the most for your money!!

 

[diamondlil]

Date: 2/5/2006 4:20:33 PM
Author: pearcrazy

It isn''t the size of the ring, it''s the size of the commitment.

That IS the truth, PC.

Wouldn''t it be nice if celebrities knew it too.

 

[ursulawrite]

Well, I think anyone who earns $50,000 a year and spends $8k on a ring is absolutely off their rocker.

That really is a case of buying to impress other people.

 

[blodthecat]

Date: 2/5/2006 10:12:06 PM
Author: ursulawrite
Well, I think anyone who earns $50,000 a year and spends $8k on a ring is absolutely off their rocker.


That really is a case of buying to impress other people.

If they are not going into debt for it, and they have $8k set aside for a ring then why not? Like Lorelei said, some people prefer to have an expensive ring, rather than a big wedding. That''s what I did, because the wedding lasted a day but the diamond lasts forever!

It has absolutely nothing to do with impressing anyone else. I couldn''t give two hoots about what other people think!

Blod

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 2/6/2006 6:01:24 AM
Author: blodthecat

Date: 2/5/2006 10:12:06 PM
Author: ursulawrite
Well, I think anyone who earns $50,000 a year and spends $8k on a ring is absolutely off their rocker.


That really is a case of buying to impress other people.

If they are not going into debt for it, and they have $8k set aside for a ring then why not? Like Lorelei said, some people prefer to have an expensive ring, rather than a big wedding. That's what I did, because the wedding lasted a day but the diamond lasts forever!

It has absolutely nothing to do with impressing anyone else. I couldn't give two hoots about what other people think!

Blod

It depends doesn't it where the priorities are. I think anyone on an average salary who buys a new car is " off their rocker" but just because that isn't my way doesn't make it wrong for someone else if that is their decision, it isn't up to me. I would rather have a big rock and a small wedding, like my friend Blod says I couldn't care less about what other's think. Levi, spend what you feel comfortable with. If someone earns $50k a year and can afford a nice ring then more power to them!

 

[MiniMouse]

Levigarrett, getting engaged isn''t all about a ring, it''s about commitment and making plans for the future. Make sure you have enough money to give you and your intended a foundation to start off from, don''t go into debt, it''s not worth it. If you can comfortably afford $2,000 on a ring then go for it, if you can comfortably afford $4000 go for it, and if you''ve got more savings available that will not endanger your ability to put a roof over your heads and help your marriage start of well, then go for it (but only if you really want to, it''s not about having to spend a certain amount). It''s all about what you can afford and want you feel comfortable spending. The size of the diamond does not mean a thing, it''s what it represents that counts. One thing I would say though is don''t compromise on cut, get the very best cut available, then the ring will outdazzle more than 90% of the diamonds out there.

Remember, many ladies on Pricescope are in marriages that have started out with financial hardship and now (years later) are reaping the rewards of being at the ''comfortable'' stage in their lives, they have laid foundations and now find they have extra dollars to spend on life''s luxuries, hence you see expensive bling on here. It''s not necessary for you to start out with such a huge expense, consider going for what you can afford TODAY and think about going to a vendor who has a good upgrade policy, so when you and your intended have more money, then you can upgrade, if it is your wish, in later years.

For now be realistic and stick to what you can afford, forget about De Beers advertising, they only do it to encourage people to spend more than necessary.

I love diamonds, but in a marriage the relationship and a home have to come first, forget about adding debt to the equation. It doesn''t start a marriage off right, you have enough expenses to consider.

 

[february2003bride]

Talk to my DH and he''ll set you straight, lol. His limit with me was originially $5K and then raised it to $6K after we started looking at stones and settings. DH thinks the whole "2 month salary" thing is bogus. But my DH also hates debt and refused to go with any jeweler who pushed their financing because he wanted to pay cash (and did at Blue Nile) for my e-ring and that cash had to come from his checking account, not savings or selling stocks, etc.

Go with what you can afford! I totally agree that its the commitment and the question that you are asking her to marry you that''s more important than the ring. An engagment ring is a bonus

Also, real world size e-rings are .50-.75. Mine is 1.06 and 3 years ago friends and family thought that was huge! However, here in Northern Va I''m noticing more and more 1.50+cts. e-rings.

Carrie

 

[Caribou]

Give you self a budget and stick to it, don''t get into debt for it. You''ll girl will love the ring regardless.

 

[njc]

Agree with everyone else. Buy what you can afford and DO NOT go into major debt over it. There are more important things to pay for in your future than a diamond ring. After DH and I bought our house, we both made the comment, that while we wouldnt change anything, it would have been nice to have some of the 6K he paid for my ring for furniture and other household items.

Have you considered stones other than diamonds? There are quite a few ladies on here that sport some GORGEOUS non-diamond center stones in the e-rings (see the Colored Stones forum). I love my diamond, and you/she may too, but just remember the whole "a diamond is forever" thing? Again, made up by DeBeers as a marketing campaign in either the 1940s or 1950s. Think of British royalty erings... they usually arent diamonds.

ETA: DH bought my ring knowing it was what he could afford and, that if i wanted to, he would be more than happy to upgrade when we can afford it. I am rather content for now and dont know that i will ever want a larger diamond. But ask me again in maybe 5 or 10 years!