How did you know your ring was

[curlyq_hw]

This question is mostly for the PS ladies on the forum. I have been reading the Rocky Talky forum for about 3 months now and wanted to ask: How did you know your ring was "It" or "The One"?

The reason I''m asking is because I have been trying on diamond engagement rings and engagement ring mountings for a while, and am beginning to wonder if I''ll ever know one ring is THE ring. I only visit one store at a time and only try on the rings that appeal to me, so I really don''t think I''m suffering from "diamond overload" or anything like that. It''s just that, when I''m at the counter with a ring on my finger, I think, "Oh that''s pretty" or "Oh, I like this one"... but there''s no "A-ha!" moment. The next day, the rings I thought were pretty or that I liked, I now feel something like indifference. Like I could live without the ring, I haven''t felt like I must have the ring or I''ll die type of sensation. Where is the "wow", and am I ever going to feel it?

Would any of you wonderful PS ladies mind sharing some wisdom/advice/personal stories on how you determined your setting or ER was the ultimate, must-have, can''t live without ring? I am feeling discouraged thinking I''ll never experience the "Wow!" factor so many of the PS members describe having

 

[luckystar112]

I''m the complete opposite. I seem to think EVERY ring is "the one". My boyfriend is about to strangle me. lol.

I would like to think its a lot like picking a future husband, in the way that you just know. But then that wouldn''t make sense in my case. Hmmmm good question.

 

[Gypsy]

Great question. I''m interested to hear this too.

Although I did have an aha moment yesterday. *shakes head*... I saw this Leon Mage and fell head over heals. Not gonna happen... but this was my dream ring.

 

[Heishman]

Gypsy, that Leon is amazing. I have been checking out his website for months, but i did not see that style ring. Were did you find the picture?

 

[TravelingGal]

Well, I can tell you that reading this forum can really screw ya up! Hehehe.

Before I read much on this forum, I went ring shopping with a friend. I found a setting that I liked. I thought it represented me pretty well...plain, simple, straightforward (it had very straight lines...not a lot of curve - this is more for my personality than my figure, lol), solid.

Then I read this forum and saw a ring owned by a posted named Lovey. I thought...wow, gorgeous! It was a Leon, I believe. Haloed, delicate, blingy.

I was overcome with coveting greed...

I showed my bf the photo (he already had seen the setting I had initially thought I wanted). His words were "that''s gross."

Now, there is NO WAY her ring was gross...I STILL think it''s gorgeous. But the bf thought it was too blingy and over the top for me.

Deciding that the ring should also be representative of what he would have liked to give me (and for the fact I didn''t want to fork out the money for the leon), I went with the first setting.

I am so glad I did. It was grown on me more and more every day, because I never get sick of it. Interestingly, I was at the mall this week looking for a gift for TGuy and stopped by a jeweler who had a similar looking setting. I asked try it on, since I am still looking for a setting for the diamond I bought my mom. It just looked flat out wrong on me...my practical setting looked so much more at home on my finger. I just don''t get sick of looking at it...and also am happy it''s low maintenance. Some of the melee maintenance posts I have seen here made me realize I don''t have the patience to maintain that gorgeous look.

I wasn''t sure at the time it was the one, but now I am more than sure!

 

[griffiam]

I think this is a wonderful question! I don’t know that I have an answer or any helpful advice, but if it helps to know that you’re the only one who feels this way, I can reassure you that you’re not. I have been going through the same thing now that my husband of almost 8 years and I are able to buy “the” ring. I thought I knew what “the” ring was when I didn’t have the $, but now that it can actually happen, I was having a very hard time deciding. I have been lurking on pricescope for some time, and as a result, I feel confident of my plan for a center stone. BTW, I am very grateful to everyone who shares their advice and experiences on this site, because it has helped me immensely. I have finally decided on my setting, and this part isn’t likely to be too helpful to you, but I’ll share anyway for what it’s worth. When we got engaged, my now husband gave me a lovely band ring that I wore as an engagement and then a wedding ring. I love it, but I knew I wanted a wedding set. A few years ago, I bought a small diamond at auction. I found a wedding set through a local jeweler that is, I would say, “vintage inspired.” I’ve always loved the set, and I think it will only look better with a bigger diamond,

but there are a few things about it that I would change, and so I started looking around (pricescope, lots of online vendors, local jewelers, auction houses, etc.). My problem was exactly as you described – I thought they were all pretty, but I didn’t fall in love with any of them (came close with a couple of Tacori rings, but turned out to be infatuation). In the big scheme of things, finding too many pretty rings is a fun problem to have, but I was getting frustrated. Then I looked down at my hand one day and had the “a-ha” moment. I wanted the bands I have, but I wanted to have them remade in 18KT white gold with slightly larger melee in the bands. So, that’s what I’m doing. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will always see lots of rings that I will crush on, but this is the one that I love. I guess that’s symbolic in its own way – it’s not that we can’t look, of course, but there’s only one I’m going home with, or something like that.

I’ve learned that looking for a long time and thinking about (and trying) lots of different options helps, even though it makes your head hurt. Maybe there is something you and your BF can agree would be significant to you that would help you identify emotionally with one design over another, or maybe you can look together? I’m sorry I can’t offer better advice, but I know you’ll find “the” one!

 

[littlelysser]

The first time I saw an asscher with a halo, I knew it was the ring for me.

Have you decided on the cut of diamond you like?

I knew I wanted an asscher and I also knew that the tend to face up small for the carat weight, so I figured a halo would be the best way to maximize it.

So maybe that is a good way to begin.

And perhaps think about what you do for a living - whether you could handle a high profile setting or one that is a bit safer and lower.

Has this helped at all?

 

[Fly Girl]

I''m a very analytical person. I like simple, wearable designs..not a lot of fussy bling. I hate super high settings that catch when I put my hand into my pocket. My first wedding set was a solataire with some interesting design in the metal. I still like it. I think it makes sense to get a big center stone and save on the setting. I thought that way 30 years ago, and I still think that way.

So, I would bet that there are certain styles that you come back to again and again. You say you only try on those that appeal to you. What do they have in common that you like? What is it about them that makes them not quite right? I think eventually you will see some trends in your likes and dislikes. Then when you see the right set that puts it all together, well, it will look right to you.

Remember, this is just the beginning. There are all those future anniversaries that will represent opportunities to add more bling, such as a RHR that represents another style you enjoy. Be patient.

 

[decodelighted]

Sometimes you know it when you see "the one" and sometimes what you get becomes "the one". *shrug*

I will admit having an "aha" moment ... twice. Seeing an Asscher for the first time (in an article about Reese Witherspoon''s engagement.) And the first time I saw what would become my E-stone on what I thought was the PERFECT setting for it (despite my, at the time, desire for a halo).

Turned out the PERFECT setting wasn''t so PERFECT for my rough ways, but luckily I was able to work with a jeweler to modify the setting so that IDEAL PERFECT became REALITY PERFECT.

I had a lot of different thoughts & dreams & files & folders over time ... but ... I also try to remember that BETTER is the enemy of GOOD. You can search forever for PERFECT ... or just believe that what you have/or the setting that finally motivates you to CHOOSE "it" ... is the best thing for you at that time & then let nature take it''s course. It bugs me when people put what I deem as "too much pressure" on themselves to be perfect, choose perfectly, forever the very first time. Eh, stuff happens. Stuff you can''t possibly anticipate (dogs eating, prongs bending, chemical reactions to metals). Let''s just all gives ourselves one BIG OL'' BREAK, shall we?

 

[mrssalvo]

I was just at a jewelry store the other day and discussing this with the sales gal. I told her I just love so many styles I am having difficulty just deciding. she told me i should narrow it down to my top 3 and then try to weed out pro and cons about each one and then just pick. then she said the key is to *stop looking*. there will always be the new designer, the new style the new.....whatever and at some point it might be best to not torture yourself with knowing what''s out there. This place can make contentment very difficult. I do know once I get my new ring I will spending a lot less time in the SMTR forum b/c I know I''ll be better off.

I did have that *this is the one* moment with a ring but the pricetag so *oh no it''s not* so I had to move on to plan b.

 

[curlyq_hw]

Thank you ladies for all of your responses, and griffiam, it is nice to know I am not the only suffering from "ring ennui"!

To answer your questions littlelssyer, I am drawn to round diamonds, and vintage or "vintage inspired" pieces with steps or shoulders (or step shoulders? this is all new to me!). I also like melee diamonds and pave settings. The rings I have tried on share these traits, but either the center stone is too small and is dwarfed on my size 6 chubby-ish finger, or the band is too wide or too narrow, or... whatever! It''s just not working for me, you know? I''ve also tried on modern pieces with vintage inspiration, and the same problems occur. Something is always "off" for me.

And I don''t think I am putting pressure on myself to find the "perfect" ring, because I am logical enough to understand that I could continue looking and always find a better ring, so to speak. When I put a ring on my finger, I look at it, look at my finger in the mirror, wave it around, etc. and... nothing. I''m waiting for the moment when I place a ring on my finger and feel a sense of awe or something like that. I can only describe it as the "wow" factor, like "Whoa! That looks so beautiful!" Does any of this make sense? I feel like when it''s the right ring, I won''t be able to stop thinking about it, and I will have to go and try it on again and again, or something. Right now, I haven''t felt that about any ring I have seen.

And TravelingGal, I am a jewelry aficionado. I should mention that I have been married previously, so this isn''t really new territory for me. I loved my old ER but the center stone did sit up too high, so this time around, I know that I want a center stone that is relatively flush with the setting. I work in publishing so I don''t think I would damage a ring too badly, except for times when I''m handling a lot of paper or moving boxes. In those situations, I would take the ring off and put it in a locked desk drawer.

 

[ljmorgan]

You will find the ring for you eventually

My fiance and I visited store after store every weekend for a month! I tried on a lot of rings, many of which were very pretty, but like you, I mostly felt indifferent towards them. Then we went in a jewlery store and my fiance suggested I try on a specific ring -- I did, and thought "nah." This was last April and to this day I can't remember why I didn't love it at first sight. But before we left, for whatever reason, I asked to try it on one more time... and fell head over heels in love. I have no idea how I made a 180 in 5 minutes. I mean, I KNEW it was the one. I had never seen a ring like it before, it was a shared prong eternity band. I actually found pricescope by searching for anything related to shared prong settings. We both knew that it was the ring, and 1 month later we had it made.

Don't give up... I really feel like you will find the right ring for you! I think as you try on more and more rings, you might be able to narrow it down to what styles you're more drawn to. Good luck!

P.S. here's my set!

 

[love is in the air]

I thought I wanted a solitaire setting but when we went ring shopping (he proposed because he realized he could not pick out a ring without my input, so there I was on a Friday night, in my PJs, with my hair a mess, and the proposal coming out of the blue) I saw a ring with a diamond band and liked that look. I ended up with a modified 3 stone with a diamond half band (half diamond band?) setting. It was the first semi-mount I tried on, and I went through a bunch of them at the store, and I came back to it b/c it looked like what I wanted...even though I didn''t know I wanted it until I got it.

 

[swingirl]

Just when you think you''ve found "the one" someone on PS posts an absolutly incredibly gorgeous ring and it starts all over!!!

 

[MsP]

This isn''t really particularly for an ering but more for rings in general... I think for me I''ve learned to distinguish what elements of a ring I like and don''t like. I think many rings are BEAUTIFUL but I appreciate them for their style but I know that I wouldn''t ever buy it. For me, I don''t like pave'', miligrain, eternity type styles, etc... I don''t like lots of little stones and I don''t like any carvings of any type. I love halos but I hate halos with little melee all around. I want a beautiful smooth metal halo. I love bezels, but they must be fluid and not disconnected like so many of them are. I like three stones but only with colored stones as the center. I don''t like step cut stones(emerald, asscher)... I think they''re beautiful but I don''t like how I can''t keep them clean. I have been thinking about a 5 stone right hand ring with 5, 1/2 carat stones but I''m not sure I''d really like it considering I''ve generally been against all multi stone(aside from three stone colored stones) styles.... this is why I''m waiting to see if my desire passes.

 

[Ellen]

I just picked what was "me".

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/15/2007 2:37:46 PM
Author: Lucyh
Gypsy, that Leon is amazing. I have been checking out his website for months, but i did not see that style ring. Were did you find the picture?

It''s under ''five stone'' settings. The best way to look at his collection... IMO opinion is -- when you are looking at a photo of a ring.. on the left hand side is a pic of a random jewelry piece... if you click on it, the one you click on will enlarge... and another little thumbnail appears where that one was. I do that for a WHILE some days (not going to admit how long

) and I always see new things... OMG there are these pair of earrings canary and white pears dangly... My heart stopped.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

My bf said that he knew it was the one because my eyes lit up in a way they hadn''t ever before with the other rings I tried on. I tried that particular one on on a whim. neither of us thought we''d like it but when I put it on it was perfect for my hand.

 

[lumpkin]

Date: 2/15/2007 3:29:03 PM
Author: swingirl
Just when you think you''ve found ''the one'' someone on PS posts an absolutly incredibly gorgeous ring and it starts all over!!!

Yes! It''s the PS curse.

I have had several, so I know how hard it is to decide. I finally decided that something practical enough to wear all the time was what I really needed. Before I went looking at the store, I went through the PS E-ring thread at the top of the Show Me the Ring forum and another e-ring thread on another forum. I copied pictures of the ones I really liked that met the "can be worn while doing dishes and cooking dinner" criteria. I went through those and made a mental note of the ones I liked the best and which ones I thought would look the best on my hand. Then I went shopping and found something I liked and could see myself wearing during daily chores and at evenings out.

Good luck in your quest. And have fun with shopping for it -- it is supposed to be FUN!!!

 

[litebrite]

Great question. I am also looking for the right setting for my stone. Just when I think I''ve found the right one, I see another one and it''s so hard deciding, but hopefully I''ll find the right thing. (And I agree with the above poster who says it''s like finding your love.)

Honestly, I never understood the beauty of an asscher until someone posted their huge, juicy RA and my heart went pitter patter like puppy love. So I have already determined that my next diamond will be an RA. (Is it premature to be planning your next ring if you haven''t gotten engaged yet?)

I told that to my friend who referred me to the forums, saying that they are like "chowhound for diamond lovers." I told her that PS has spoiled me. Also, I can''t believe that I''m the same person who is anti-marriage, anti-girly weddings, anti-all the conventional trappings and I have spent about 8 hours a day researching diamonds, vendors, designers and appraisers. Well, at least I''m much more educated now!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

That''s funny, litebrite!

Gosh, this place is very bad for making you feel uncertain about settings. You see so many possibilities! I have my new rings in fairly simple settings which will suffice until such time as I decide on something perfect. I have talked to mark morrell, and that is a possibility. But still, I worry something better is just around the corner!

 

[tweety]

Hahaha

Date: 2/15/2007 3:14:20 PM
Author: decodelighted
Sometimes you know it when you see ''the one'' and sometimes what you get becomes ''the one''. *shrug*

I will admit having an ''aha'' moment ... twice. Seeing an Asscher for the first time (in an article about Reese Witherspoon''s engagement.) And the first time I saw what would become my E-stone on what I thought was the PERFECT setting for it (despite my, at the time, desire for a halo).

Turned out the PERFECT setting wasn''t so PERFECT for my rough ways, but luckily I was able to work with a jeweler to modify the setting so that IDEAL PERFECT became REALITY PERFECT.

I had a lot of different thoughts & dreams & files & folders over time ... but ... I also try to remember that BETTER is the enemy of GOOD. You can search forever for PERFECT ... or just believe that what you have/or the setting that finally motivates you to CHOOSE ''it'' ... is the best thing for you at that time & then let nature take it''s course. It bugs me when people put what I deem as ''too much pressure'' on themselves to be perfect, choose perfectly, forever the very first time. Eh, stuff happens. Stuff you can''t possibly anticipate (dogs eating, prongs bending, chemical reactions to metals). Let''s just all gives ourselves one BIG OL'' BREAK, shall we?

So true... I got "the one" when my hubby-to-be presented me with that baby! and boy, was he right.

 

[Gypsy]

You know I was thinking...

It starts all over again when you pick the wedding dress. THE DRESS. LOL. Does the madness ever end???

 

[diamondfan]

I was so excited about getting a ring, that I realized later I had not ever really honed in on what I wanted. I was young, and knew a couple shapes that I did not like, but knowing all the things I did like was tougher. I ended up with a round in a very contemporary yellow gold setting. I really do not love yellow gold, but it was very big then. My hubby liked rounds, a lot of men do, and I took the ring happily. Ten years later I realized I did not like the ring, the color of metal, the setting or the stone, so back to the drawing board. I decided I wanted a cushion or an emerald cut. Got a gorgeous ring, it was really stunning, but after 5 years I decided I wanted something drop dead, so I traded it in, but still kept an emerald cut in platinum. I guess my point is that I did not ADORE and flip over my first ring, but I did for my second and third. I could and would not have worn what I have now when I was 24 and in graduate school, it was not right for me then. Now I can. So maybe, like with finding THE DRESS, it might be best to know what you do NOT want, and really see what grabs you. The total truth is, and I am somewhat sentimental but not totally, you can always redesign a setting or upgrade if you are truly not happy with your ring. The ring is not what defines the marriage, so changing it does not bother me. If it bothers you, then be really focused on what you like and do not like about each setting and stone you see, and try to get a sense...do you like modern or not? Do you want blingy or subtle? Do you like linear shapes or rounded? Do you like facets or step cuts? White metal or yrellow? A ring to stand alone or one with a band flush with it? Notice what it is you like about the rings you like, and what it is about the ones that you do not like. You may see a pattern emerge...and then you can narrow the field down!

 

[Gypsy]

DF's advice -- which she has given to me in my threads regarding setting indecision-- really helped me to pin down what I want.

I like antique/vintage settings but would get bored with one.
I love fluid platinum that looks like it's in movement.
I love what halos do for asschers.
I do not like three stone, or five stone rings with asschers anywhere in them.
I don't love milgrain and dislike distinct bead set pave.
I love thin bands.
And I like the contrast of micro pave with my asscher.
I also love the classic look of solitares.
I love Leon's double prongs.
I trust my taste, and have to trust it in the NOW... and not look down the road 20 years.
And I'm not one to notice nitpicky flaws in settings.


This has basically FINALLY allowed me to be at peace with the fact that I need to go custom.

Thank you Df for your wisdom.

 

[diamondfan]

You are so welcome!

I think the idea of the ring being the end all be all is very scary. Of course, it can be the end all be all, but I think we put this burden on ourselves to find perfection without doubt. If you have always loved a round diamond in a Tiffany platinum setting, every time you see it you just love it more, than great! Do not worry, like you said Gypsy, about twenty years from now. I know I am VERY different in some of my tastes at 41 than I was at 24. Just the natural evolution. I sort of feel, get what you love now, and cross the "what if I do not like it 20 years from now" bridge in, say 20 years! If you are somewhat systematic about it, break down shape, metal, setting, detail on setting itself, type of wedding band, lifestyle, etc, if you really look at the components, then maybe the overall will be TA DA! I have looked at rings and thought, wow, love the micro pave but think the band should be (thinner, thicker) or love emerald cuts, but do I like bullets or baguettes, or a three stone? Of course the whole searching for a ring is intimidating...the idea of the ring you will wear for the rest of your life can be a bit daunting...and if you are like me, I like SO MUCH that I have a hard time winnowing it down. I could have an ering per season with all the things I love. And PS is so enlightening that I now see tons of things that just blow me away...I would LOVE a Leon, his work is just genius in my book!!!

 

[musey]

I knew I wanted a cut-corner square, that was step one. I felt like I was constantly trying to talk myself out of an asscher (there are lots of threads on here about the "drawbacks" of asschers, not so many for the other cuts), but never could, so I figured it must be the cut for me.

I felt really drawn to antique-style settings and pave, but when our budget came down to the wire we really could not afford the pave. So I surfed around until I found a setting that no one could, again, talk me out of--so I knew that was the one.

So for us, it really came down to (a) finding out what our budget could get us, and (b) discovering something that I/we couldn't be "talked out of," and voila! We have Asscher-Vatche magic!

P.S. Anyone else notice how their center stone looks bigger in pictures than in real life? Maybe it's just my eyes screwing with me

 

[litebrite]

Yeah, I am totally drooling over that ring, and I don''t tend to care for pave. Plus great photo skills, btw! A month ago, if you had told me I would be drooling over Asschers or diamonds I would have laughed at you. I never had those Cinderella dreams of the perfect ring, the perfect wedding. Growing up I had serious doubts that I would ever get married. Now my bf said that I am going to be a bridezilla. And the worst part is that I am not sure that he is wrong!!!!

Anyway, I need to regain some perspective - the man is more important than the ring. But I will say I spent all Saturday looking at rings, and then I finally thought I saw what I wanted in a store. It was almost perfect, almost there. I couldn''t figure out what was off, and then I came back and looked at the pics I had of rings that were almost it. The orientation of the lines was wrong! So I am getting a custom ring as I am pretty deadset on what I want, I just need to figure out one variation of it, and then it will be onto the wedding band search and the wedding planning (and dress shopping itself.)

It''s funny because this is a lot like how I shop for clothes (i.e., marathon searches through H&M) whereas he hates shopping and is happy to pick up 10 new shirts and slacks to wear for the year, try them on, and only keep the ones that fit. The biggest difference is that it''s a huge investment of money, and I don''t get to buy a ring in every color the way that I can buy 10 tank tops at $8 each and I don''t get to return the purchase.

Boyfriend is smart in letting me pick, even if he has to wade through loads of emails on how to pick an appraiser or different platinum alloys and settings.

It ensures that I don''t upgrade within 5 years. (But I still want a RA RHR.)

 

[Stone Hunter]

Well first I found that some shapes wowed me while others did not. So I stopped trying on shapes that didn''t wow me. Then I asked at every store to see the 2/3 shapes that I was interested in. I eventually saw a ring that I thought was it. I went back and visited it a couple of times, posted on PS about it. Thought about it. And decided it was the setting that I loved not the diamond itself.

A wise PSer told me to pick a diamond that I loved the setting can always be changed. It''s about the diamond. With that info in mind I focused on the diamond and quickly decided that I loved the shape and L/W ratio but not the color or clarity or faceting. That helped me figure out what I did want and that narrowed down my search.

HTH

 

[Miranda]

This is what upgrades are for. That way it takes the pressure off of finding "the" one. I''ve had a pear solitaire with a wrap ala 1993...Same pear center with princess cut channel setting...Now an oval in a halo. The plan is to get a 2ish ct. oval solitare with eternity or w-band and when that starts to feel small (because I know it will) I will get a couple of oval side stones and volia - a three stone...Or maybe I''ll get a round, who knows. Even though I know they are, I don''t really look at rings as a symbol of my marriage. I did when we were first married, but, after nearly 12 years it goes a whole lot deeper for me. I know most people don''t feel this way. I am very sentimental about my original engagement stone. For us, it means a lot. It is now an earring and I will NEVER get rid of it. Good luck with your decision!