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how big was your wedding?

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janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
i'm curious about the range for wedding sizes...how big was your wedding or how big are you planning? We're looking to have a small wedding, around 80 people--hope we can pull it off, but might be tough..
 

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eleguin

Shiny_Rock
Joined
May 16, 2006
Messages
246
We wanted something around 100 people and we were planning to pay for it ourselves. But then FI''s parents wanted something like a 300-people wedding and they offered to pay for the whole thing. My parents wanted whatever we wanted. In the end, we decided on 150-200 people (more like 170ish).
 

MustangGal

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2004
Messages
2,029
I had about 150. The original guest list was about 200, and even with all that years later I still think "why did''t we invite so-and-so?"
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
We ended up with 185 out of 200 invitees. The hotel people told us we would likely lose 25% due to the time of year, but we did not. I got married in the most lovely hotel in L.A. and the place really only wanted 150 max, so it was tight, but it was my dream spot. My father had died when I ws 15, he knew a lot of people in my community and my mother felt, had he been alive, it would have had to have been a much larger wedding, but since he had died she had lost touch with a lot of people from their life. My father in law, when we told him we were getting married, made a list and handed to my fiance, and it literally contained 400 names. He pitched a huge fit when we told him he had to cut down to 100, including him and his wife, I thought he was going to have heart failure. It was such a squeeze to fit in all the tables comfortably. He was so livid and it was so unpleasant...but a bit later my cousin got married and had 450 people in a huge hotel ballroom and it was too much, could not even see everyone who was there, and they ran out of stuff...I did not find it fun or special at all...it felt like a corporate event even though the hotel is lovely and elegant...If you can keep it to a size that is what you want, I would do it, it will make it more intimate and you will likely have more fun...
 

KimberlyH

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 15, 2006
Messages
7,485
We set parameters first, we were only inviting people who meant something to us and had made a significant difference in our lives. Our final guest llist totalled 32, 28 people ended up attending. I would have liked to have invited a few more people but it turned into "If we invite Bob and Janet we have to invite Rose and Larry" which was exactly what we didn''t want so we pared down. We also made natural cut offs (only aunts and uncles, no cousins) because we didn''t want to hurt anyone''s feelings. It was difficult because I have 35 older cousins who are all married with children (with the exception of 2 cousins who don''t have children and 1 who is in a long term, living together relationship but not married) on my dad''s side and 8 on my mom''s, several of which I am close to, but we just didn''t want to get into the whole selection process and upset family members.
 

qtiekiki

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 14, 2004
Messages
3,876
We end up with 450 guests for 2 receptions. The actual ceremony when we got our marriage license was just 9 guests.
 

San Diego Bride

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 9, 2006
Messages
392
we had around 45 guests. our target was 50 or less. i wondered if i''d regret having a small wedding or think "so and so should have been there", but it ended up being the perfect size for us.
 

codex57

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 18, 2004
Messages
1,492
1st one - about 150
2nd one - about 300

Same girl, just two receptions.
 

diamondlove

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 18, 2006
Messages
409
I haven''t had mine yet but I didn''t want too big of a wedding so we''re compromising on inviting 280 or so and hopefully end up somewhere closer to 220-240 for the number of actual guests. I really wanted a wedding around 100 but that''s just too difficult with our friends and family tally adding up like crazy.
 

nytemist

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2005
Messages
962
We wanted ours really small. Invited 51, ended up with 33, not including us.
 

Cheekyprincess

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 30, 2006
Messages
133
Ours will be 5 including us!!! the reception later next year will include all the family (haven''t counted yet but I guess 50-60).
 

flutterby

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 1, 2005
Messages
1,280
ours was small, but PERFECT. I invited 55 and had 48 for our destinationish-vegas wedding!
 

dtnyc

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
1,082
155 including us. Perfect size for us. His mom would have liked larger, my dad (who paid for most of it) would have liked smaller.
His mom was hit by a car and in the hospital for a month right after we got engaged and when I told her I wanted less than 200 people she got upset in her hospital bed and basically told me it wasn''t going to be big enough for her to invite everyone she wanted. I still can''t believe that woman gave birth to my wonderful husband.
 

diamondfan

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 17, 2005
Messages
11,016
Date: 12/27/2006 11:07:28 PM
Author: dtnyc
155 including us. Perfect size for us. His mom would have liked larger, my dad (who paid for most of it) would have liked smaller.

His mom was hit by a car and in the hospital for a month right after we got engaged and when I told her I wanted less than 200 people she got upset in her hospital bed and basically told me it wasn''t going to be big enough for her to invite everyone she wanted. I still can''t believe that woman gave birth to my wonderful husband.

Talk about priorities!!! My father in law was the same, he FREAKED that it would end his life not to have everyone he knew at our wedding. My mom paid for the entire thing, except for the rehearsal dinner, they did not contribute anything and she STILL gave them half the list exactly, and he was harrassing everyone and making us all nuts. My hubby finally said, this is not about YOUR needs, and we want to have people there who mean something to each of us...not your first roommate in college who you have not seen in 25 years...it got to be insane...he called my mom to scream at her and she simply hung up and basically never really spoke to him again. Weddings just seem to bring out the loveliness of some people!!
 

monarch64

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 12, 2005
Messages
17,744
My father didn't give us a budget until he and my mother looked at our guest list and realized that it was quite lopsided (DH and family had MANY more guests invited than my side--DH and I had decided to forgo the "bride's hometown" tradition and get married in Chicago), so we cut down according to that. Needless to say, some of my in-laws weren't too happy with the cuts, but my MIL had a B and C list, just in case, lol!


In the end, we had right around 100 guests total. It was a nice Sunday afternoon outdoor ceremony with reception on site, and we did do a receiving line (at the insistence of my mother, but glad we did), and we got the chance to mingle a lot with all our guests, which was nice. I have found when attending larger weddings you might not get the chance at all to give the B&G your best wishes in person, or the verbal sentiments are brief and blurred...just my $.02!


ETA: We did send out invitations with the possibility of expecting 130 guests, but supposedly you can estimate that a certain percentage (10%?) will not be able to attend, so you may be able to tweak your invites/guest list using that very loose guideline...??
 

aljdewey

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 25, 2002
Messages
9,143
27 guests. Positively NO regrets.
 

jcrow

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
7,395
200 invited.
100 actually were able to come.

it was perfect. i loved looking around and knowing every single person. it was intimate, and i don''t regret it one bit!
 

Jaders731

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 12, 2006
Messages
527
Oh JCrow... that is my wish..

We are inviting 200, but are HOPING (fingers crossed) for 100... ours is a destination-ish wedding.. and we KNOW about 45% of the invited will not be able to make it!!!

I''ll be sweating it until Feb. 26th!
 

janinegirly

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 21, 2006
Messages
3,689
thanks everyone. i think 100 is a nice number but the room we are looking at only takes 80. the larger room is more for 200. so it''s a little frustrating. i am in awe of some of the ladies with 250-400 guests..my goodness!
 

ephemery1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Mar 20, 2006
Messages
1,724
We will be inviting about 250... and that''s pared back.
I would have loved somewhere in the 150-200 range, it''s just not possible coming from my hometown where both my parents grew up and know EVERYONE, especially with my dad''s job. There was minor frustration with the guest list, because FI''s family isn''t from the same kind of community, so their half of the invitees seem a little more random/distant... but they are planning on paying for a significant amount of it, and I''m abandoning my futile desire that everything be "fair"... not worth the wasted energy!


My Invitation Rules (for our half of the list):

1) Is this somebody I am exceptionally close to in my current life, who I truly want to share my wedding day with? (ie., friends, certain colleagues)

2) Is this somebody I have shared a significant past with, and can''t imagine getting married without them there? (ie., parents'' close friends, people on the holiday card list, etc)

3) Is this somebody I will be spending a lot of time with in the future, who we will look back and be glad we invited? (ie., certain relatives, newer friends)

If the answer is "yes" to one of those questions, they''re in... otherwise, they''re out!
 

FacetFire

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 26, 2006
Messages
1,879
Date: 12/28/2006 10:26:11 AM
Author: ephemery1
We will be inviting about 250... and that''s pared back.
I would have loved somewhere in the 150-200 range, it''s just not possible coming from my hometown where both my parents grew up and know EVERYONE, especially with my dad''s job. There was minor frustration with the guest list, because FI''s family isn''t from the same kind of community, so their half of the invitees seem a little more random/distant... but they are planning on paying for a significant amount of it, and I''m abandoning my futile desire that everything be ''fair''... not worth the wasted energy!


My Invitation Rules (for our half of the list):

1) Is this somebody I am exceptionally close to in my current life, who I truly want to share my wedding day with? (ie., friends, certain colleagues)

2) Is this somebody I have shared a significant past with, and can''t imagine getting married without them there? (ie., parents'' close friends, people on the holiday card list, etc)

3) Is this somebody I will be spending a lot of time with in the future, who we will look back and be glad we invited? (ie., certain relatives, newer friends)

If the answer is ''yes'' to one of those questions, they''re in... otherwise, they''re out!
Great "rules"! Those are the same lines we were thinking along. We should end up with around 40-50.
 

Jaders731

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 12, 2006
Messages
527
OOOOH... very good list of rules...

Fi and I had one rule for our invite list: If you know how we met!

Everyone who is invited to our wedding knows how we met... they know our story... this ensures that we wont be spending the evening being introduced to people... We felt it very important to spend this day with the people who mean the most to us... and we really didnt want to spend the evening shaking hands and saying "nice to meet you!" or answering the question "how did you two meet?" umm... wouldnt that be a little weird at your own wedding?

I mean.. we still have a lot of invites going out... but we know that everyone there is there to share in the celebration... not enjoy a free meal with an open bar!

 

ky6

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Feb 4, 2005
Messages
451
80 was our goal too. There was a time when we thought there was no way we could keep it down to that. But we managed. We absolutely did not invite anyone with whom we had not spoken in the previous 6 months and who were not currently a big part of our life. We had right about that number and it was the perfect size.
 

blushingbride

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 10, 2006
Messages
1,653
We are inviting about 150 and hoping that we''ll get around 130 or so. Our venue can only hold 150 max which is perfect since my FI''s family is HUGE! His parents want us to invite EVERYONE and can''t seem to understand that we do not want all those people there (my FI doesn''t even know half the people his parents want invited)! So this way, we can tell them that 150 is it - absolutely no exceptions.
 

jfo

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 21, 2006
Messages
654
We had 45 people. It was a destination wedding, and my husband and I thought it was the perfect size group of people. It was only close family and friends...
 

rms

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 16, 2004
Messages
918
We had 2 receptions about 100 people each. The first one was in a room that would hold about 115 max, so it was nice and cozy. The second one was actually in a hall that would hold as many as 600 people, and you know what...it was just as nice and cozy and I absolutely loved it. I loved them both.
 

anacgarcia

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 4, 2006
Messages
360
we have around 380 in our list but I hope and pray that no more than 200 actually go (It''s a destination wedding in Cancun)
 

labbielove

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jun 28, 2006
Messages
862
We are probably inviting 100, and that was with a harsh, concentrated effort on making sure we invite only those most important. It''s important to me that we be able to really enjoy our guests, and each other, during that day.
I would prefer it to be even smaller, so we may make another round of ''cuts''

Also, the chapel we are marrying in seats max 125 so it will be cozy as it is, reception area fits 250
 
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