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- Jun 8, 2008
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How are you similar to your SO and how do you differ?
- Thread starter missy
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2011
- Messages
- 4,795
I married my soulmate. We do almost everything together. We like to travel, dine at interesting places, we both love a nice bottle of red wine, we both love art f all kinds , classic cars and old rock-n-roll, we both love to shop and he has more shoes than I do 
We go to the gym together five times a week (if I'm not traveling for business), we grocery shop together (a task I despise because I work in consumer products and spend a lot of time in retail stores) and we make dinner and clean up from dinner together. We share the laundry and when Its time for the house to be cleaned we each have our responsibilities. Since we both have full time jobs we've always shared the chores. This is a second marriage for me so I know I have it better than good.
While we do a lot together we also are very conscious of taking time to do things with our kids together and apart. I think it's important that I'm not in on every activity he does with his kids and in turn its always time for me to spend one on one with my DD.
The one thing he loves that I do not love is skiing. I loathe the cold weather (cool sweater weather is ok) and I do not ski. He goes each year with his kids or his college buddies and I use the time to spend with my DD. I have joined him but find I'm a vacation widow usually in a very cold place.
He's patient and kind and he brings out the best in me. The man doesn't own a temper and has never raised his voice at me. Yell at his kids and mine.... Yes! We are aligned on religion and politics.
We go to the gym together five times a week (if I'm not traveling for business), we grocery shop together (a task I despise because I work in consumer products and spend a lot of time in retail stores) and we make dinner and clean up from dinner together. We share the laundry and when Its time for the house to be cleaned we each have our responsibilities. Since we both have full time jobs we've always shared the chores. This is a second marriage for me so I know I have it better than good. While we do a lot together we also are very conscious of taking time to do things with our kids together and apart. I think it's important that I'm not in on every activity he does with his kids and in turn its always time for me to spend one on one with my DD.
The one thing he loves that I do not love is skiing. I loathe the cold weather (cool sweater weather is ok) and I do not ski. He goes each year with his kids or his college buddies and I use the time to spend with my DD. I have joined him but find I'm a vacation widow usually in a very cold place.
He's patient and kind and he brings out the best in me. The man doesn't own a temper and has never raised his voice at me. Yell at his kids and mine.... Yes! We are aligned on religion and politics.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 4,750
Same:
Both perfectionists (although we have both gotten better with this)
Both can be indecisive (stemming from perfectionism - we have both gotten better with this too)
Very similar taste in what we consider stylish - both in clothing, furniture, etc.
Very similar taste in the luxury things we like (good hotels, nice restaurants, etc.) - although I've become more careful with money in the last few years for a few reasons so I'm not so willing to eat at expensive restaurants any more. I think a lot more before spending money now.
Very similar taste in cars
Both very private people (but he's a lot more a people person than I am)
Different:
He's a lot more people oriented even though he values his privacy.
He is much more accommodating - or tries to be - with house guests. He's much more "my house is your house" type person.
And he is much more likely to INVITE people to visit (eta I am not at all likely ahaha and if I do is because DH is saying it and huh now I feel put on the spot
He is much more outdoorsy than I am - he likes the water, the beach, etc. I like none of those. I like to SIT by the water, showered, at a nice restaurant.
He is much more selfless with his time than I am.
He is much more confrontational than I am when he needs to be
Both perfectionists (although we have both gotten better with this)
Both can be indecisive (stemming from perfectionism - we have both gotten better with this too)
Very similar taste in what we consider stylish - both in clothing, furniture, etc.
Very similar taste in the luxury things we like (good hotels, nice restaurants, etc.) - although I've become more careful with money in the last few years for a few reasons so I'm not so willing to eat at expensive restaurants any more. I think a lot more before spending money now.
Very similar taste in cars
Both very private people (but he's a lot more a people person than I am)
Different:
He's a lot more people oriented even though he values his privacy.
He is much more accommodating - or tries to be - with house guests. He's much more "my house is your house" type person.
And he is much more likely to INVITE people to visit (eta I am not at all likely ahaha and if I do is because DH is saying it and huh now I feel put on the spot
He is much more outdoorsy than I am - he likes the water, the beach, etc. I like none of those. I like to SIT by the water, showered, at a nice restaurant.
He is much more selfless with his time than I am.
He is much more confrontational than I am when he needs to be
packrat
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2008
- Messages
- 10,614
Generally the same taste in music, tho I admit I have to turn in my rocker chick card b/c I like to rock out to say, Michael Jackson and a few Nsync/JT songs (he hates them all). 
And I also like some heavier songs that he doesn't care for, like some Slayer.
We both dig tattoos, tho our taste varies a bit-I would like to get some traditional work and he can't stand it.
We both like the same foods, places to eat.
We both are into landscaping-which is kinda funny b/c I grew up on a kickass landscaped acreage (my dad had a valise he carried around w/all the nursery catalogs in it, and a big yellow legal pad where he'd draw up what he wanted to do, and had everything labeled) and JD didn't have the time of day for flowers or plants--and now we are proud as peacocks about our yard.
Same taste in tv shows, tho usually I need to watch it first and then super oversell the show to get him to try it. Except for TWD-he had to super oversell it to me that time.
I am a worrier, full of anxiety and uncertainty, very self conscious, lacking confidence. He is none of those things.
Neither of us is romantic in the "normal" (?) ways. He remembers songs that have meaning for us, and the reason why, and now I don't have to ask him why the song is important, he just tells me. There's no lovey dovey posts on FB, no sappy cards etc. He will, for instance, catch a frog or toad outside and bring it to me so I can baby talk it and hold it b/c he knows how much I love them. Sometimes he would watch wedding shows w/me b/c he knows I like them. So, I don't sit around and wish he'd sweep me off my feet or scatter rose petals to the bedroom for me. He knows I'd rather he sweep the floor (and he does that only a couple times a year) and that I'd have a heart attack at the "mess" of petals on the floor for me to pick up. He takes time off work to take me to appointments out of town b/c he knows I don't like to drive in big cities.
He is a huge procrastinator, I am not. Tho I have slid a little toward that side after being married to him so long, which I do not like.
I like things clean, organized, minimal clutter, minimal "stuff". He...couldn't care less if we had to kick a path thru the house wherever we went.
I am more liberal then he.
My temper has increased, while his has decreased, since we've been married. I'm not as laid back as I used to be, he isn't as angry. However, the anger is directed elsewhere, never at each other, never have raised voices to each other, or argued, ever.
He was raised Catholic, I as a Jehovah's Witness. We celebrate Christmas and birthdays, but we don't go to or belong to, any church or religion, and we don't teach the kids anything religiously. He believes, I'm a fence sitter.
We both are readers and like some of the same genres/authors.
The procrastination and the lack of cleanliness have been the biggest hurdles for me. There is a lot of frustration and resentment there.
And I also like some heavier songs that he doesn't care for, like some Slayer.We both dig tattoos, tho our taste varies a bit-I would like to get some traditional work and he can't stand it.
We both like the same foods, places to eat.
We both are into landscaping-which is kinda funny b/c I grew up on a kickass landscaped acreage (my dad had a valise he carried around w/all the nursery catalogs in it, and a big yellow legal pad where he'd draw up what he wanted to do, and had everything labeled) and JD didn't have the time of day for flowers or plants--and now we are proud as peacocks about our yard.
Same taste in tv shows, tho usually I need to watch it first and then super oversell the show to get him to try it. Except for TWD-he had to super oversell it to me that time.
I am a worrier, full of anxiety and uncertainty, very self conscious, lacking confidence. He is none of those things.
Neither of us is romantic in the "normal" (?) ways. He remembers songs that have meaning for us, and the reason why, and now I don't have to ask him why the song is important, he just tells me. There's no lovey dovey posts on FB, no sappy cards etc. He will, for instance, catch a frog or toad outside and bring it to me so I can baby talk it and hold it b/c he knows how much I love them. Sometimes he would watch wedding shows w/me b/c he knows I like them. So, I don't sit around and wish he'd sweep me off my feet or scatter rose petals to the bedroom for me. He knows I'd rather he sweep the floor (and he does that only a couple times a year) and that I'd have a heart attack at the "mess" of petals on the floor for me to pick up. He takes time off work to take me to appointments out of town b/c he knows I don't like to drive in big cities.
He is a huge procrastinator, I am not. Tho I have slid a little toward that side after being married to him so long, which I do not like.
I like things clean, organized, minimal clutter, minimal "stuff". He...couldn't care less if we had to kick a path thru the house wherever we went.
I am more liberal then he.
My temper has increased, while his has decreased, since we've been married. I'm not as laid back as I used to be, he isn't as angry. However, the anger is directed elsewhere, never at each other, never have raised voices to each other, or argued, ever.
He was raised Catholic, I as a Jehovah's Witness. We celebrate Christmas and birthdays, but we don't go to or belong to, any church or religion, and we don't teach the kids anything religiously. He believes, I'm a fence sitter.
We both are readers and like some of the same genres/authors.
The procrastination and the lack of cleanliness have been the biggest hurdles for me. There is a lot of frustration and resentment there.
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2007
- Messages
- 8,771
Q
Queenie60
Guest
We share political views and religious views. We enjoy a good bottle of wine together, good home cooked food in the privacy of our own home with a good romantic comedy. We exercise together a few times per week. I attempt to golf with him although he's great at it and I am not so good. 
We enjoy long walks together. We are pretty much soul mates.
We differ in our tastes of music - he's a Dead Head and I like rock and pop music. He's more calm and I have the more type A personality - I'm usually the more assertive one who will approach the tough situations and get them done. He handles our investments and I handle our personal household finances.
Overall, we blend quite well!
We enjoy long walks together. We are pretty much soul mates.We differ in our tastes of music - he's a Dead Head and I like rock and pop music. He's more calm and I have the more type A personality - I'm usually the more assertive one who will approach the tough situations and get them done. He handles our investments and I handle our personal household finances.
Overall, we blend quite well!
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2014
- Messages
- 2,132
Similarities:
- Both of us love our hard rock/heavy metal music
- We both love outdoors
- Gems, although it's more gems for me and jewellery for her. Still something we have in common though
- Mixed Martial Arts, we used to train but that was a long time ago.
- We both love our tattoos and want some more soon
- We're weird, and we're fine with that
Differences:
- I personally can't stand pop music while she divas her way around town in the car
- She comes from a family of active Greenpeace contributors whereas I come from a family of fishermen/woodsmen, that was a hotly-debated topic for our families for the first 12 months of our relationship
- While I love my fishing to the point of an obsession, she doesn't have the same enthusiasm for it. She enjoys coming out on the boat occasionally but getting up at 3am doesn't sound enticing to her at all.
- She's a talented visual artist while I can barely write my name in a legible format, I'm more of an 'Audio Artist'. Although she can sing a lot better than I can but can't do the death metal vocals like I can.
- Both of us love our hard rock/heavy metal music
- We both love outdoors
- Gems, although it's more gems for me and jewellery for her. Still something we have in common though
- Mixed Martial Arts, we used to train but that was a long time ago.
- We both love our tattoos and want some more soon
- We're weird, and we're fine with that
Differences:
- I personally can't stand pop music while she divas her way around town in the car
- She comes from a family of active Greenpeace contributors whereas I come from a family of fishermen/woodsmen, that was a hotly-debated topic for our families for the first 12 months of our relationship
- While I love my fishing to the point of an obsession, she doesn't have the same enthusiasm for it. She enjoys coming out on the boat occasionally but getting up at 3am doesn't sound enticing to her at all.
- She's a talented visual artist while I can barely write my name in a legible format, I'm more of an 'Audio Artist'. Although she can sing a lot better than I can but can't do the death metal vocals like I can.
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2008
- Messages
- 55,298
Love reading everyone's responses. I love hearing about how great everyone's relationships are and how you are similar yet different and how it all just works! 
Thank you for sharing and I would love to hear more responses if others are willing to share.
My turn to share.
How we are similar:
Similar values politically and spiritually (we are different religions but not religious) and financially.
We are both highly ethical individuals with a strong sense of what is right and wrong and for the most part share those thoughts and values. However I tend to be more black and white whereas he definitely can see more gray in certain areas.
We are both huge animal lovers but this was not how my dh was when we first met. He had no experience with animals as his parents were not animal people at all. So when we started dating he had no experience with cats or dogs (except that he is allergic and still gets allergy shots to this day a full 17 years later) but quickly warmed up to them and fell in love with them as much as I am. In fact we have more fur babies in our family now than before we got married. LOL.
We both believe in giving generously to what we consider worthwhile causes and donating money and energy and time is big on our to do or wish we could do list. At this time we donate more money than time but in the future we plan on donating more time as well to the causes near and dear to our hearts.
We are both problem solvers. We figure a way to make it work no matter the challenge. I am more the idea person and my dh is more the actual put the idea into action person but we figure it out and make it happen.
We both love music but my dh has a wider variety of what he enjoys but we love listening to music together.
Both love to shop, both love shoes and clothes and he is just as much into style as I am but he always looks better than I do. He has an effortless style and always looks good. And his closet omg so organized. I am jealous of how well he organizes stuff. Another difference and this should be in the how we are different list sorry.
Bling hobby but my dh's is watches not diamonds or gemstones (though his watch collecting hobby is dormant for him for now).
Both love being outdoors and enjoy a passion for cycling most notably long distance tandem cycling.
We are both very romantic and connected and on the same page.
We both love laughing and have a good sense of humor though I admit I am funnier than he is. But we are both pretty funny.
We are both stubborn though he would say I am more stubborn than he is I am not so sure.
We both have big tempers though mine is more quick to explode I am also quicker to get over it. It takes him longer to lose his temper but when he does it is harder for him to go back to "normal". I am much quicker to anger but I recover more quickly.
We both enjoy eating well and also enjoy working out though I workout more than my dh does. We both workout either at home or outside but never at a gym.
We love watching good movies together and while we may not always agree on what we enjoy watching we have enough in common that we can always watch what we both enjoy together. And we both love great scary/horror/psychological thrillers.
We both love to read and are in a book club of 2. We enjoy reading the same novels together and then discussing them. I am not much of a joiner so this book club of 2 works perfectly for me.
How we are different:
My dh is more gregarious (haha his name is Greg so that makes sense lol).
He gets recharged from interacting with others much more than I do
and he is way more social than me.
Though I am an introverted extrovert so I get recharged from others but more from one on one interaction andI have a much smaller social circle than my dh does. And I like it that way.
Usually my dh is more laid back than I am (I am Type A for sure) but when he gets mad or charged up about something watch out so not laid back about everything. I am the worrier in the relationship. Him not so much. But he calms me down very well and is great at making me feel safe.
We are both doers however and planners. I however am more of a planner than he is.
My dh is more artistic than I am despite my parents and sister being very artistic and my mom in fact being an artist. I did not inherit that talent unfortunately. My dh enjoys creating and making stuff, woodworking hobby, working on bikes, loves gardening and landscaping etc.
He loves cooking and baking and I don't know how to do any of that. I can boil water and that's about all I can do in the kitchen. However I love eating what he cooks and bakes so win win. LOL.
He is more of a neat freak than I am and it can cause discord in our relationship. He enjoys a sparkling clean house and is more aggressive in making that happen than I am. I love a clean house too but not to the extent my dh does.
He is way more accommodating than I am in almost all respects. With others and with me. He is also much more generous than I am. I'm more of a saver and he is more of a spender though he and I match well with our savings plan. We have both helped each other in that regard bringing each other towards the middle road that way.
He is way more patient than I could ever be. I don't do well in the being patient area at all. He is more zen about things than I am.
He loves skiing and more adventurous sports. He enjoys rock climbing etc. I am not athletic in any way and a big klutz so we are quite different in that respect.
He enjoys traveling way more than I do. I used to enjoy it more and have traveled extensively but now I am quite content to stay at home. I am a real homebody these days. Thank goodness he is OK with that.
He enjoys a cocktail or 2 and is more sophisticated in this area. I don't care for liquor at all.
We are both foodies but due to my dietary restrictions we are very different in what we can eat and my choices have narrowed considerably in the last decade. So while I still enjoy eating well and eating at fine restaurants I am much more picky than I used to be about variety and will only go to certain restaurants due to that.
He does not like reality tv and I love it. I love all the Real Housewives shows. I love the Survivor shows. I even love Big Brother and the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows. He hates them. LOL. He loves action adventure movies/tv more than I do.
He makes me a better person in all ways and I truly could not be with a more perfect for me partner. I love him with all my heart and soul and I know he loves me the same way. In each other we have found our life partner and soul mate and are madly deeply and truly in love with each other and love who each other is as a person.
Thank you for sharing and I would love to hear more responses if others are willing to share.My turn to share.
How we are similar:
Similar values politically and spiritually (we are different religions but not religious) and financially.
We are both highly ethical individuals with a strong sense of what is right and wrong and for the most part share those thoughts and values. However I tend to be more black and white whereas he definitely can see more gray in certain areas.
We are both huge animal lovers but this was not how my dh was when we first met. He had no experience with animals as his parents were not animal people at all. So when we started dating he had no experience with cats or dogs (except that he is allergic and still gets allergy shots to this day a full 17 years later) but quickly warmed up to them and fell in love with them as much as I am. In fact we have more fur babies in our family now than before we got married. LOL.
We both believe in giving generously to what we consider worthwhile causes and donating money and energy and time is big on our to do or wish we could do list. At this time we donate more money than time but in the future we plan on donating more time as well to the causes near and dear to our hearts.
We are both problem solvers. We figure a way to make it work no matter the challenge. I am more the idea person and my dh is more the actual put the idea into action person but we figure it out and make it happen.
We both love music but my dh has a wider variety of what he enjoys but we love listening to music together.
Both love to shop, both love shoes and clothes and he is just as much into style as I am but he always looks better than I do. He has an effortless style and always looks good. And his closet omg so organized. I am jealous of how well he organizes stuff. Another difference and this should be in the how we are different list sorry.
Bling hobby but my dh's is watches not diamonds or gemstones (though his watch collecting hobby is dormant for him for now).
Both love being outdoors and enjoy a passion for cycling most notably long distance tandem cycling.
We are both very romantic and connected and on the same page.
We both love laughing and have a good sense of humor though I admit I am funnier than he is. But we are both pretty funny.
We are both stubborn though he would say I am more stubborn than he is I am not so sure.
We both have big tempers though mine is more quick to explode I am also quicker to get over it. It takes him longer to lose his temper but when he does it is harder for him to go back to "normal". I am much quicker to anger but I recover more quickly.
We both enjoy eating well and also enjoy working out though I workout more than my dh does. We both workout either at home or outside but never at a gym.
We love watching good movies together and while we may not always agree on what we enjoy watching we have enough in common that we can always watch what we both enjoy together. And we both love great scary/horror/psychological thrillers.
We both love to read and are in a book club of 2. We enjoy reading the same novels together and then discussing them. I am not much of a joiner so this book club of 2 works perfectly for me.
How we are different:
My dh is more gregarious (haha his name is Greg so that makes sense lol).
He gets recharged from interacting with others much more than I do
and he is way more social than me.
Though I am an introverted extrovert so I get recharged from others but more from one on one interaction andI have a much smaller social circle than my dh does. And I like it that way.
Usually my dh is more laid back than I am (I am Type A for sure) but when he gets mad or charged up about something watch out so not laid back about everything. I am the worrier in the relationship. Him not so much. But he calms me down very well and is great at making me feel safe.
We are both doers however and planners. I however am more of a planner than he is.
My dh is more artistic than I am despite my parents and sister being very artistic and my mom in fact being an artist. I did not inherit that talent unfortunately. My dh enjoys creating and making stuff, woodworking hobby, working on bikes, loves gardening and landscaping etc.
He loves cooking and baking and I don't know how to do any of that. I can boil water and that's about all I can do in the kitchen. However I love eating what he cooks and bakes so win win. LOL.
He is more of a neat freak than I am and it can cause discord in our relationship. He enjoys a sparkling clean house and is more aggressive in making that happen than I am. I love a clean house too but not to the extent my dh does.
He is way more accommodating than I am in almost all respects. With others and with me. He is also much more generous than I am. I'm more of a saver and he is more of a spender though he and I match well with our savings plan. We have both helped each other in that regard bringing each other towards the middle road that way.
He is way more patient than I could ever be. I don't do well in the being patient area at all. He is more zen about things than I am.
He loves skiing and more adventurous sports. He enjoys rock climbing etc. I am not athletic in any way and a big klutz so we are quite different in that respect.
He enjoys traveling way more than I do. I used to enjoy it more and have traveled extensively but now I am quite content to stay at home. I am a real homebody these days. Thank goodness he is OK with that.
He enjoys a cocktail or 2 and is more sophisticated in this area. I don't care for liquor at all.
We are both foodies but due to my dietary restrictions we are very different in what we can eat and my choices have narrowed considerably in the last decade. So while I still enjoy eating well and eating at fine restaurants I am much more picky than I used to be about variety and will only go to certain restaurants due to that.
He does not like reality tv and I love it. I love all the Real Housewives shows. I love the Survivor shows. I even love Big Brother and the Bachelor and Bachelorette shows. He hates them. LOL. He loves action adventure movies/tv more than I do.
He makes me a better person in all ways and I truly could not be with a more perfect for me partner. I love him with all my heart and soul and I know he loves me the same way. In each other we have found our life partner and soul mate and are madly deeply and truly in love with each other and love who each other is as a person.
rubybeth
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 12, 2007
- Messages
- 2,568
missy|1455458311|3990921 said:
Similarities include that we were both raised in the same religion, we are both fairly liberal politically (though we sometimes disagree on specifics and candidates), and we both enjoy similar types of travel (more focus on art museums, history, architecture than beaches/tropical cruises), games (board games and some video games), reading (though usually different types of reading material, we like to tell each other what we are reading and share interesting passages aloud), and some movies/television. We also agree on how to spend/save money, which has been a huge boon to our relationship, and we agree on how much time to spend with friends/family--family is especially important to both of us, but we respect each other's introverted tendencies. We also will both have graduate degrees after DH completes his this spring.
In other ways, we are very different--different personalities, very different careers, and we tend to look at things differently but generally come to the same conclusions, even if we both got there in different ways.
We have both been described as very "logical" people, even though we can both also be highly emotional, sometimes anxious, individuals. We also have some differing hobbies, but we support each other in these pursuits and the differences enrich our relationship--for example DH is great at drawing/painting while I can barely doodle, and I'm a classically trained soprano and he can't even remember the lyrics to sing along with the radio, but we both appreciate each other's talents and are proud of each other's accomplishments.I think there is strength in our differences, but our similarities help us have a strong base. We've been together over 10 years, married for coming up on eight years this summer.
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