So I have this former friend, we''ll just call her Sarah. We were "best" friends for 15 years. We didn''t really hang out all that much anymore, but talked on the phone about once or twice a week. About a year and a half ago, she started popping pills, Adderall, Ambien and Klonopin. I know that she was stealing pills from her boyfriend and her friends. She then began doctor shopping and read up on ADD symptoms and basically faked them so that she could get prescriptions. She lost a ton of weight and began bleaching her hair and going tanning every day and basically was not even recognizable. She would stay up all night and maybe sleep every other day and put these ridiculous posts on facebook at all hours of the night.
In the process of breaking up with my ex, I slept with another guy. My ex wasn''t aware of this, but we were still living together and I didn''t come home a few nights, so he was calling all of my friends trying to get the scoop. All of my friends ignored him, except Sarah. She''s always been promiscuous and desperate for any form of male attention, so I attribute those as the reasons why she would throw me under the bus like this. She told my ex EVERYTHING I had told her. She went as far to make up some stuff that didn''t happen to make me look even worse.
I didn''t really care that he knew about it because it wasn''t like I was trying to exactly hide it from him. But, one day I came home and he knew EVERYTHING. I asked the two friends who I was concerned that might have told him. Sarah denied ever speaking to him. I''m not really the type to snoop, but I knew his password for his cell phone online, so I got on there to see who had spilled the beans. He had several hour plus long conversations with Sarah at around 4 AM on various evenings. I was furious. I called her, screamed at her, called her a drug addict (oh, I forgot to mention that she has moved in with a doctor who is getting divorced and is her father''s age, who now prescripes her any drugs she wants). I told all of our other friends what happened and they couldn''t believe it. I was talking mad crap on her too about her drug problem, promiscuity, and her "boyfriend" (who is just a total pervert by the way).
Apparently, she was upset about this, she cannot see that she was wrong in what she did. She actually had the audacity to say that she was trying to help by telling my ex everything. My ex told me that she suggested to him that they sleep together to make me jealous. This fueled another phone call from me to scream at her. She said that she was joking and that I was too uptight, but I know that she would sleep with him, she has always had some weird thing for any guys I''ve dated.
About a month ago I was out with this gay couple that we used to work with, as well as a few other girls. They were never really friends with Sarah, never really hung out outside of work things. But Sarah is kind of obsessed with them, like she has some idea that they are much better friends than they really are. They were talking about Sarah and her strange facebook posts and they told me that she had posted a photo of herself (this is so ridiculous that I can barely even type it) naked wearing a trenchcoat, platform shoes and her hairstyle looked like she was wearing a bumpit, posing in front of a wall. Well, naturally I had to see for myself so one of the guys got on his phone and showed me. We all laughed about it. Almost immediately the guys starting getting texts from Sarah, she was just being crazy and saying "Don''t listen to the things that Catlady says about me, she is a liar". I found out later that she had texted one of the other girls who was there and the other girl said that she was hanging out with all of us. I wasn''t really even saying anything bad about Sarah, but she is incredibly paranoid and thinks that I am out to get her.
So, she starts sending me threatening text messages, that she is going to tell this new guy I''m dating some crap and that she is going to tell my ex all of this stuff. I was like "What do you expect when you put some picture like that on your facebook, it''s clearly a desperate cry for attention, so why are you upset that people are talking about it?". She was so delusional that she said that it was the same as me having some bikini pictures on mine. I''m sorry, but I think that it is acceptable to have a photograph of yourself in a bikini on the beach in St. John, but not to have the picture that she posted. She seems to refuse to believe that anyone other than me would ever think anything bad about her. I mean, she is pretty much insane.
Recently, things have calmed down for the most part. Except when it comes to my friendship with the gay couple. She keeps sending them messages saying "Don''t trust her, she is a psycho". OK, I''m not the one who is sending threatening messages to people at 4 AM on a Wednesday. I''m moving downtown in two weeks, and one of the guys is going to be my roommate. Sarah found out about this and she is really pissed and was crying about it. ??? I don''t even know why that would upset her. It''s like she has some fantasy about having these awesome gay friends and partying at gay bars every night, but they''re not even friends! I''m just hoping things will calm down and I am not talking about her to anyone, I''m taking the "You''re dead to me" approach.
But, here is the problem and this is why I am posting this here. There are two weddings to go to this summer where Sarah and I are going to have to be forced to be in one another''s company, and there will be alcohol involved. I kind of want to take a date, but am scared that she will do something to embarrass me, so I will probably not bring anyone. I''m scared that Sarah is going to do something really psycho. She is a pretty big drama queen anyway, and tends to need everything to be about her. There was an engagement party a few months ago, and she basically made it all about her and whether or not she was going to go and texting everyone "Oh should I go?", and then she showed up really late, when no one really cared if she was there or not. The gay couple is also going to be there, I will be one of the guy''s roommates at this time as well so I am worried that this is going to instigate something. Sarah seems to have some kind of inability to do anything in moderation - when she drinks she has to drink until she is a wreck, when she eats she binges, when she takes drugs she takes way more than needed, same way with men and sex, she gets obsessed with guys who aren''t interested in her and will do some incredibly sluttly stuff to try to keep them interested in her. Basically she is just a hot mess.
Basically I don''t know what to do. I can''t not go to these weddings. I am MOH in one and pretty good friends with the other girl. I don''t want to have my presence cause some kind of drunken sh1t show, and I know that Sarah will go because she just hangs out with this old man and asks all of these people to go out with her but no one ever will. Does anyone have any advice on what to do?? Should I try to talk to her about it to make sure that she won''t do anything crazy? I don''t know that trying to talk to her would even do any good because she is going to be all cracked out on adderall and drunk anyway. She really isn''t the same person I was friends with as a kid. If I hadn''t known her for as long as I did, there is no way I would have been friends with her as an adult either. I know that she isn''t going to care that these weddings are someone elses big day, all she can think about is that I am out there stealing all of her friends, she will see me with these friends, she''ll take our laughter to mean that we must be talking about and conspiring against her. I actually broke out in hives about this the other day, I''m so worried.
Any advice would be appreciated, and thanks for reading all of this. I needed to vent a bit too. Are any of you worried about any unstable people doing anything that might ruin your weddings? Has anyone witnessed or heard any horror stories about wedding guests going completely crazy?
In the process of breaking up with my ex, I slept with another guy. My ex wasn''t aware of this, but we were still living together and I didn''t come home a few nights, so he was calling all of my friends trying to get the scoop. All of my friends ignored him, except Sarah. She''s always been promiscuous and desperate for any form of male attention, so I attribute those as the reasons why she would throw me under the bus like this. She told my ex EVERYTHING I had told her. She went as far to make up some stuff that didn''t happen to make me look even worse.
I didn''t really care that he knew about it because it wasn''t like I was trying to exactly hide it from him. But, one day I came home and he knew EVERYTHING. I asked the two friends who I was concerned that might have told him. Sarah denied ever speaking to him. I''m not really the type to snoop, but I knew his password for his cell phone online, so I got on there to see who had spilled the beans. He had several hour plus long conversations with Sarah at around 4 AM on various evenings. I was furious. I called her, screamed at her, called her a drug addict (oh, I forgot to mention that she has moved in with a doctor who is getting divorced and is her father''s age, who now prescripes her any drugs she wants). I told all of our other friends what happened and they couldn''t believe it. I was talking mad crap on her too about her drug problem, promiscuity, and her "boyfriend" (who is just a total pervert by the way).
Apparently, she was upset about this, she cannot see that she was wrong in what she did. She actually had the audacity to say that she was trying to help by telling my ex everything. My ex told me that she suggested to him that they sleep together to make me jealous. This fueled another phone call from me to scream at her. She said that she was joking and that I was too uptight, but I know that she would sleep with him, she has always had some weird thing for any guys I''ve dated.
About a month ago I was out with this gay couple that we used to work with, as well as a few other girls. They were never really friends with Sarah, never really hung out outside of work things. But Sarah is kind of obsessed with them, like she has some idea that they are much better friends than they really are. They were talking about Sarah and her strange facebook posts and they told me that she had posted a photo of herself (this is so ridiculous that I can barely even type it) naked wearing a trenchcoat, platform shoes and her hairstyle looked like she was wearing a bumpit, posing in front of a wall. Well, naturally I had to see for myself so one of the guys got on his phone and showed me. We all laughed about it. Almost immediately the guys starting getting texts from Sarah, she was just being crazy and saying "Don''t listen to the things that Catlady says about me, she is a liar". I found out later that she had texted one of the other girls who was there and the other girl said that she was hanging out with all of us. I wasn''t really even saying anything bad about Sarah, but she is incredibly paranoid and thinks that I am out to get her.
So, she starts sending me threatening text messages, that she is going to tell this new guy I''m dating some crap and that she is going to tell my ex all of this stuff. I was like "What do you expect when you put some picture like that on your facebook, it''s clearly a desperate cry for attention, so why are you upset that people are talking about it?". She was so delusional that she said that it was the same as me having some bikini pictures on mine. I''m sorry, but I think that it is acceptable to have a photograph of yourself in a bikini on the beach in St. John, but not to have the picture that she posted. She seems to refuse to believe that anyone other than me would ever think anything bad about her. I mean, she is pretty much insane.
Recently, things have calmed down for the most part. Except when it comes to my friendship with the gay couple. She keeps sending them messages saying "Don''t trust her, she is a psycho". OK, I''m not the one who is sending threatening messages to people at 4 AM on a Wednesday. I''m moving downtown in two weeks, and one of the guys is going to be my roommate. Sarah found out about this and she is really pissed and was crying about it. ??? I don''t even know why that would upset her. It''s like she has some fantasy about having these awesome gay friends and partying at gay bars every night, but they''re not even friends! I''m just hoping things will calm down and I am not talking about her to anyone, I''m taking the "You''re dead to me" approach.
But, here is the problem and this is why I am posting this here. There are two weddings to go to this summer where Sarah and I are going to have to be forced to be in one another''s company, and there will be alcohol involved. I kind of want to take a date, but am scared that she will do something to embarrass me, so I will probably not bring anyone. I''m scared that Sarah is going to do something really psycho. She is a pretty big drama queen anyway, and tends to need everything to be about her. There was an engagement party a few months ago, and she basically made it all about her and whether or not she was going to go and texting everyone "Oh should I go?", and then she showed up really late, when no one really cared if she was there or not. The gay couple is also going to be there, I will be one of the guy''s roommates at this time as well so I am worried that this is going to instigate something. Sarah seems to have some kind of inability to do anything in moderation - when she drinks she has to drink until she is a wreck, when she eats she binges, when she takes drugs she takes way more than needed, same way with men and sex, she gets obsessed with guys who aren''t interested in her and will do some incredibly sluttly stuff to try to keep them interested in her. Basically she is just a hot mess.
Basically I don''t know what to do. I can''t not go to these weddings. I am MOH in one and pretty good friends with the other girl. I don''t want to have my presence cause some kind of drunken sh1t show, and I know that Sarah will go because she just hangs out with this old man and asks all of these people to go out with her but no one ever will. Does anyone have any advice on what to do?? Should I try to talk to her about it to make sure that she won''t do anything crazy? I don''t know that trying to talk to her would even do any good because she is going to be all cracked out on adderall and drunk anyway. She really isn''t the same person I was friends with as a kid. If I hadn''t known her for as long as I did, there is no way I would have been friends with her as an adult either. I know that she isn''t going to care that these weddings are someone elses big day, all she can think about is that I am out there stealing all of her friends, she will see me with these friends, she''ll take our laughter to mean that we must be talking about and conspiring against her. I actually broke out in hives about this the other day, I''m so worried.
Any advice would be appreciated, and thanks for reading all of this. I needed to vent a bit too. Are any of you worried about any unstable people doing anything that might ruin your weddings? Has anyone witnessed or heard any horror stories about wedding guests going completely crazy?
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