Hmm.... a "proper" way to do things?

[MrBleeker]

This is a general question...

I will be asking my girlfriend''s father for his permission to marry his daughter soon. What is the accepted way to do this? Do I involve his wife (my girlfriend''s mom)? I live a good 1.5 hours from their house, so I will have to call him up and make sure he''ll be around, because I don''t want my girlfriend to know I''m asking him.. otherwise she will anticipate when the proposal will be ... for the most part.

If you were her father, what would you expect me to do? I plan on asking out of respect and tradition, but I don''t know if I should talk to both her father and mother at the same time, nor do I know if I should ask them out to dinner to do so? Or just plop down at their house and just break it out !!

Hahaha, anyways.. nervous times ahead, but not worried in the least. Her parents are amazing people. Your thoughts are appreciated..

If anyone has any superb proposal ideas throw ''em out too!

 

[petuniaprincess]

I think it all depends on what you want to do....my fiance asked my father on a fishing trip for Father''s Day.

I think it would be a nice touch to include her mother, but beware if you go to a public place (like a restaurant for dinner)....mothers tend to get emotional at this kind of thing....so you may want to consider that when planning where you will do it. In the end, I would say....do what feels right for you....its difficult enough having to find the perfect ring and plan a fabulous proposal....may want to keep it simple. Either way I''m sure her parents will be very greatful and appreciative of the gesture.

Good luck!!

 

[JulieN]

I turned to google for this, and I'm going to post excerpts of good, sensible suggestions.

http://www.thegroomguide.com/engagement2.html

The principle behind asking her parents is to convey your sincere love for their daughter, and your intention to have her hand in marriage. (Along with their approval and blessing.) Tell them you appreciate them for creating the most wonderful person in the world. Let them know that you promise to care for her with all your heart and that you will cherish her with the utmost respect. You may also want to add how you plan to actually care for her financially if that is an issue. It will help her Dad feel somewhat more at ease, because for some reason they always tend to bring that up. So try to bring it up for his sake before he does.

http://www.ehow.com/how_9810_ask-girlfriends-father.html

Be prepared. Think about what you'll say to your girlfriend's father before you arrange to talk with him. Ask for a few minutes to speak to him in private or in the presence of your girlfriend. Unless distance prohibits a personal meeting, arrange to discuss the matter with him face to face. Present yourself in a positive light to make a good impression, show your respect for him, and reflect on the seriousness of the issue. Explain the depth of your feelings for his daughter and inform him that she is the most important person in the world to you. Put yourself in his place. How would you feel about entrusting your little girl's heart to another man? Tell him about the plans you've made for a future with his daughter. Assure him that you will do everything you can to make her happy for the rest of your lives. Assure him that you realize marriage is a serious issue with serious responsibilities, and that you have given serious consideration to the matter of marrying his daughter. Respectfully ask for your girlfriend's hand in marriage.

And here's one for more advanced things, I hope posting this is ok.

You come to his turf. It can be out somewhere or at his home, but typically it's at his house. Dress nicely...Just say that it is important to you to discuss the details with him in person. Your visit will start off with chit chat. Then simply say "I came here today to discuss my future and I can't see a future without your daughter in it. So I have come today to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage." Or something of that nature.
Be prepared to answer questions regarding what you have in mind for the future as far as your professional goals and financial security. He may ask about whether you want children. He may want to know what you find special about his daughter.

 

[jcrow]

JulieN- ok- beautiful. I am all teary-eyed over here.

 

[jcrow]

oh and good luck MrBleeker

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Okay, here is my story. We were dating 4.5 years and I knew it was coming, HE know that if he planned a special night out, vacation, ex...I would know it was coming so he had to be clever. I was going home to WI to visit my family. They took me to out beach house and we were walking down the beach. I turned around and Joel (my fi) was walking towards me. I was shocked. My sister took pictures (which are great to have now) He got down on one knee and asked for my father''s permission in front of me. He also said how much he loved my family during the proposal. It was awesome that they could be a part of it. I know it isn''t for everyone but I am close to my family and the first one to get engaged. He also is very comfortable with them. So basically everyone was in on it. He also asked his permission on the phone while he was in "planning mode". Anyways, good luck!

 

[MrBleeker]

Hey everyone,

Talked to her parents, and I got the "go ahead" so now I just need proposal suggestions and an ideal time !!

 

[saturn]

That''s terrific MrBleeker! Good job.

As for proposal ideas, I think that''s something you need to come up with yourself. You know your fiancee better than any of us. My best suggestion would be if you can find a location that will be meaningful - the place you went on your first date, the place where you met, the place that she grew up, or something like that. Don''t make an overly elaborate plan that can be ruined if a small glitch comes up.

And definitely, definitely, definitely get down on one knee when you propose.

That''s really important to lots of girls.
Good luck!

 

[MrBleeker]

Well I am just trying to decide right now if I want to totally surprise her, or if I want to be a bit more romantic and make it perfect (but she would probably be able to guess it was going to happen).

I have finished pictures of my ring posted now if anyone wants to see them!?!

Finished Ring pictures (Wedding Band too)!!

Loose stone pictures and also girlfriend pics!

 

[JulieN]

lovely pictures.