Hm- how would you react?

[february2003bride]

This might be more appropriate in the Hangout but it''s diamond related so I''ll post it here.

I recently bought a .338 G SI2 (eye clean) ACA H&A from WhiteFlash. I''m really excited and this "baby diamond" is the beginning of what will ultimately end up being a 2ish carat over the next few years.

Here''s the original thread: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/help-me-spend-500-700-00.41524/

Here''s the diamond: https://www.whiteflash.com/hearts_arrows/A-Cut-Above-H-A-cut-diamond-1358885.htm#

Anyway, I was telling a neighbor about it, not bragging, very casual in a joking way about my "in-law" bribe (and we now firmly believe all DH''s should follow in my DH''s steps

) so I told what I finally decided on. She said that while she''s sure it''ll be beautiful and she''d love to see it, really, a .338 is a "sidestone" and not a center diamond to be "that excited out."

I know it''s small. That''s the point. I''m taking advantage of the amount of "fun money" DH has given me and putting it towards this which will eventually become a larger diamond. I LIKE that it''ll be small right now. I have 3 kids, I''m not exactly at my a point in my life where a 2 carat stone makes sense. I have a 1.06 princess e-ring that I love but it tends to sit in my ring box (I do wear my wedding band everyday) because again, I have 3 kids, one being 5 months old. Changing 2 in diapers everyday, you don''t exactly want to wear anything that large on your hand.

I kind of feel like the air has been let out of the balloon. I''m still excited but she definitely made it seem like wearing a stone that small is embarrassing. Her e-ring by the way, is a .50ish carat. Before anyone suggests it might be jealousy- it''s not. She''s not that type of person (or at least, I don''t think so).

So what do you think? How would you react to that?

For the record- I''m still happy about my decision. WF has been awesome and not once has Ron scoffed at the stone size or tried to steer me towards a larger stone.

Blah. I''m just so bummed out! Amazing how one comment can bring a person down.

Carrie

 

[Small]

I would try not to let others rain on your parade! You know that the stone is amazing and some people just don''t have appreciation for that. It doesn''t matter what size it is. That''s kind of rude for anyone to make an insinuation about the size of the ring another person wears anyway. But to each their own I guess.
I have two very small children and my ring is in my box on most days as well so I totally see where you are coming from.
Just enjoy your purchase and wear your ring happily. I bet you get loads of compliments on it...it''s a beauty!

 

[4bugzinarug]

Hiya!

What a great story and idea ... your husband sounds very similiar to mine. He would rather see me pick out my own gift than buy something that will just sit around He is very sweet and *his* dream is to upgrade my solitaire eventually to a 2 carat. He might have to tackle me first to pry it from my finger, I just love my new 1.02c H&A AGS 000!!

I would just shake off the comment, it probably meant absolutely nothing ... don''t take it to heart. You have a great plan and a beautiful stone ... and smaller really *is* better at times with little ones! Our kids are 3.5 and 5, and my doctor just informed me that I have an injury to my chest wall that probably occurred thanks to hefting my little spider-boy around and allowing my body to be pummelled by his feet, knees and elbows I often go without wearing my e-ring just because of the general activity level in this house. My new setting will stick up even higher than my current .25c e-ring, so I do worry about damage, etc. So DH is buying another ring with diamonds and sapphires that sit down very low ... to use on days when I won''t wear the "other" anniversary ring. Hey, any excuse for new jewelry is a good one!

Anyhow, that was a roundabout way to say "Shake it OFF" and have a great weekend!! Best,

Jennifer

 

[solange]

You already have a stone larger than hers that you do not wear because it does not fit into your life style right now.
Some people have no filter and their first thought pops right out of their mouth before it reaches their brain. You bought what you wanted now. If you had wanted her opinion, you would have asked before you bought it. It gives you pleasure and you should not let her foolish comment interfere with your enjoyment. If she is a good friend I would just let it pass.

 

[monarch64]

How would I react? *beep* her! Seriously, though, I think Solange put it best "some people have no filter." No big deal, don''t let it deflate your excitement bubble, Feb.bride! This is why we have PS, so we can let out all our feelings without hearing negative comments in real life, lol!

 

[firebirdgold]

Heh heh. Your ACA will out shine her diamond, that''ll shut her up. And as someone who''s one and only e-ring is most likely going to be a 1/3 carat, I find her comment a bit annoying as well.

I want an ering that will never sit in a box.

 

[glitterata]

What a silly and thoughtless thing for her to say! I''m giving her the benefit of the doubt here; it''s either silly and thoughtless or deliberately mean. When a friend is excited about something, why not share the excitement instead of saying something to deflate it?

Congratulations on your new treat. I''M excited for you, no matter how big other people''s side stones may or may not be. That''s irrelevant! Should you not be excited about your new baby because he''s only 4 pounds 8 ounces and the baby across the street is 11 pounds 2 ounces? Or not be excited about your new skirt because it only comes down to your knees and the woman down the block has a floor length skirt?

Maybe she''s jealous that your husband wants to reward you for putting up with your inlaws--maybe she wishes her husband would do that. Maybe she''s worried that her own diamond is too small. Maybe she''s jealous of your ability to get happy and excited about things. Who knows? But it''s not your problem.

 

[Julian]

I''d ignore her. She sounds spacey, not malicious. Sometimes people can be really clueless and say the weirdest things.

.338 is a really nice size and you can do so much with it. Have fun!!!

 

[Lorelei]

It is amazing how with bigger ticket items such as diamonds, some people can always find something unkind to say. " oh I thought it was fake, looks a bit gaudy" for the larger diamonds, " it doesn't sparkle much", ' it looks a bit yellow" or " why didn't you get a bigger one?"

It is such a shame you just wanted to share your excitement and got that response, but don't let it spoil your joy, it was a very rude thing to say, regardless of whether she wasn't thinking, was jealous, or just " speaking her mind." There is always someone who will rain on your parade, the secret is to take it for what it is, a thoughtless or jealous remark and try not to let it worry you.

You enjoy your diamond and don't forget the pics! A third of a carat is a great size!

 

[valeria101]

Sure there are .4cts sidestones, and .1 and 1 carat and more. Who cares? That comment had nothing to do with your diamond. Too bad it is so hard to find folk to share good moments with.

Sorry to hear that... I hope the little verbal glitch doesn''t distract from your enjoying the beautiful gift and cute upgrading arrangement that comes with it.

You seem so obviously pleased and excited, some of the good vibes went through the Net. Please keep it that way!

You surely have every reason to!

 

[blodthecat]

Just one question?

Why do you even care ?

I wouldn''t give two hoots about what other folk think.

Enjoy it! and don''t forget to post some pictures!!!!!


Blod

 

[just_looking!]

She''s probably just never heard of that idea before and blurted out a rude comment?

I think it''s a great idea!! Pricescope is such a bad influence......

 

[Shay37]

Some people are not jealous of what you have. it is the happiness that you are being given by your DH of which they are truly jealous. I think she''s either clueless (don''t confide in her) or she''s a frenemy (watch your back)

BTW, enjoy that beautiful ACA. It''s going to be very surprising how big and sparkly that rock looks.

shay

 

[february2003bride]

Wow, thanks everyone! Her reaction didn''t so much take away my excitement over the ring but rather, made me question if I was too excited over it, particularly because of the size. It''s not like I''m jumping up and down in front of anyone (well, I might be at FedEx next week, lol

). But we were out front and she asked how the in-law visit was going. I told her about it and the token from DH. She loved the idea of an "in-law incentive" and asked what I chose. I told her (with some hesitation and not b/c of the size of the stone but that I had chosen a diamond, period.) and that''s when she commented on the size.

Yes, she''s seen my original wedding set but has never commented on it. She''s a neighbor who I had also considered a friend because we do playdates, block parties, etc., together.

I told DH about it while we were out to dinner with friends last night (one advantage of the in-law visit- they love to baby-sit the kids!) and he asked what my reaction was to the comment. I said I was just processing her comment and didn''t really say anything back. I''m sure my face showed shock though, because I just wasn''t expecting a comment like THAT, ya know?

And we just went back to talking about in-laws stories and the kids.

But DH said he was relieved to hear I didn''t shoot back "Well, it''ll be a 2 carat in a few years" or something like that because 1) then I''d be no better than her and 2) he knows I''m really excited about this and giving her a comeback like that takes away from the .338 that I chose.

Anyway, thanks so much for all of yoru comments. In hindsight, I feel kind of stupid even posting about it.

I shouldn''t have made such a big deal out of my neighbor''s "insert foot in mouth" comment.

Thanks again!

Carrie

 

[moon river]

Is she a ''FRIEND'' or a ''FRENEMY''? There''s a differance.

And speaking from personal experiance as someone without a ''filter''

I''m sure she said the first thing that popped into her head without thinking. Who knows what fueled it, any number of things. Us ''filterless'' people do alot of rubbing the wrong way without meaning to.

 

[SuzyQZ]

Moon RiveR:

Frenemy... I love it!!

Yup, we''ve all got at least one of those.

 

[lumpkin]

Sometimes people say stupid things when they aren''t sure how to react or what to say. I have to admit I''ve done that on occasion. Maybe that''s what happened?

I hope so. If she''s generally a good friend and a good support (we moms need that) than I''d let it pass and chalk it up to one of those goofy, thoughtless blunders that sometimes come out of a very well meaning mouth. When you get the ring if she continues to make rude comments you''ll know she has an issue of some sort. But even if that is the case, it''s her issue.

I think it''s cool that you will have something you can just live in. I love my little wedding band -- it sparkles enough and has a charm to me all it''s own. How big the diamonds are just doesn''t figure into it, and kind of the whole point is to be able to wear and enjoy it without worrying I''ll scratch the kids with it or bang it on something or lose an expensive diamond out of it. I totally understand why you''d want your littler diamond and since it suits your lifestyle wear it and enjoy it.

I agree with whoever posted above. Someone will always make stupid comments about diamonds. If it''s big then theres a, "Well, it must be NICE" kind of attitude from some people. If it''s small then, "Gosh, why even bother" and the whole range in between. I''ve learned not to even discuss my jewelry with anyone except others who share my passion for jewelry and on line. It''s none of their business and they don''t have to pay for it, wear it, or even look at it if it somehow, for some reason offends them.

 

[Blenheim]

I agree with what the others say, but here''s another thought. She could be a size girl, and confused as to why you got a smaller diamond if you already have the 1.06 carat e-ring. After all, most people try to go up in size.

In all seriousness though, your new ring sounds lovely and like something you could be comfortable wearing every day.

And people have the weirdest reaction to diamond rings. One of my "frenemies" (love that term) thinks that another friend''s 1-carat is gaudy. Also, she''s told me that only boring people get solitaires. (She obviously hasn''t seen the beauties on this site.) When she found nothing to critize about another friend''s e-ring, she just declared that if she wanted to ruin her life by getting married, that was her choice.

I''m an LIW and was a little apprehensive about whatever she''d say when I finally get engaged, but then I realized: why do I care at all what she thinks?

 

[moon river]

Yeah, you need to show her some of the BORING people with their solitairs on PS.

 

[anchor31]

It''s funny, I''m hoping to get a ring just like yours with a WF ES .52ct stone for my one and only engagement ring soon(ish?), and I''ll probably be getting comments like "It''s so big (as in too big)!" and "He must have paid a fortune for it

." and other similar negative comments because e-rings are just not the thing here. The biggest solitaire I''ve seen in person must have been around .20ct. But I really don''t care what they think, because my dear boyfriend has a great budget (for me anyway) and I decided to do enough research so he could get the best out of his money and get a wonderful .52ct for under his budget, when he would have probably gotten no bigger than a .25ct for a quality stone with his money in a B&M store. It''s something we''ll both have worked for and be proud of and that''ll never sit in a box for long...

So, big/small, beautiful/ugly... It''s all a matter of perspective. And if you and your hubby love it, that''s what matters.

 

[moremoremore]

What a B*TCH!
Let me tell you this...I'm lucky and have a farily good size stone....I was in a bank and a young gal had a princess cut that was probably .50.....What struck me the most about her stone was how wonderfully white and brilliant the stone was. That impressed me very much e/t mine is quite a bit bigger! I thought...wow, this guy really got a wonderful stone...not wow, it's smaller than mine... Wear it in good health...

 

[Mara]

damn i lost my post..anyway be as excited as you want about this stone, it''s your stone!!

it''s an odd comment for her to make esp since her diamond is not that much larger than this one, and if its not well cut then maybe yours will look as big! so a .34 is a side stone but a .50 is not? random!

diamonds are great, big or small!!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree with everyone. I know the comment is hard to ignore (FI asks me all the time why I take offense to things). I think you should be beyond excited. I think it is a really sweet idea to slowly upgrade. I also think it looks like a beautiful stone and she is going to feel really stupid once she sees how great it is!