shape
carat
color
clarity

Henry has a tumor. :/

AdaBeta27

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Awww, Ellen, I feel so much empathy for your son and you and all the pain you're going through. Tell him that although it's true he won't get Henry back, he should look at other cats and give them all a fair chance to "click" with him. Just like people are unique individuals, so are cats. Henry charmed one way, but another cat can be equally charming and lovable in a different way. He should look for a very bright and "upbeat" cat that loves to interact with people. Some cats play fetch. Some will walk on a leash. Some talk a lot. Maybe an Oriental or even a Siamese might be a good fit. The solid color Orientals are a bit more laid back than Siamese. Maybe your son could volunteer to work with the cats at a no-kill shelter for a while. They say shyness is selfishness, and I think in a way, grief is selfishness after a certain point. Grieve a while, but then move on. Truly, I have no regrets that I brought home 2 cats (from a kill shelter) just 2 days after I had to have my precious guy euthanized. I honestly think it was the absolute best thing I could have done, for those cats and for me. It was very traumatic to lose a beloved cat that I'd had for 16 years, but there were those 2 little faces there at the shelter saying "Pick me! Pick Me! So I just picked them, because they picked me first, and off we went and lived happily after. :)
 

Calliecake

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Ellen, I am so sorry. I can only imagine how heartbroken your family is feeling. Please know we are here for you if you need anything. Everyone here had a soft spot for Henry. Hugs
 

rainydaze

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Oh Ellen, I'm so very sorry. I see that you don't want to talk about it now, so I will leave it at that. **Hugs** to you and your DS.
 

aljdewey

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Ellen, sending you and your son comforting hugs across the miles. I'm so very sorry for your loss.
 

Ellen

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Feeling a bit better, mostly because son is feeling a bit better.

I understand all of you saying H can't be replaced by another cat (or cats), but they can fill the empty space. I said the very same thing to him. And I also told him all animals are unique in there own way. I let him know H had purposes in his life and I'm quite certain they were all fulfilled. And that I (and most of you) think he should get another, or two. And while he will say yet again that no one cab replace H, he told me he has been looking around at kittens. So I think he is getting comfortable with the idea of another.

What is so upsetting about all this, that none of you could possibly know, is that this isn't just about my son losing a cat. Or even the special circumstances of why he got the cat. It's that this episode is just one in a long line of times in this child's life where he tried to do something good and it went bad. If I believed in luck, which I do not, I could easily say that if it weren't for bad luck, this kid wouldn't have any luck at all. Even my husband, who absolutely does believe in luck, looked at this latest episode in conjunction with everything else leading up to it and said what I had already been thinking. It's so unbelievable, it's unbelievable. If it can go wrong, it will. Frankly, I'm shocked he wants to get another cat. If it were anyone else, I could wholeheartedly assure them this couldn't happen again in a million years. With him? I wouldn't dream of saying that....

So, it has been especially upsetting. I hurt so much for him, and yet I can't change anything. But with all your sweet thoughts and prayers, I think he will come around soon enough.

One thing I wanted to mention in case anyone wondered. I mentioned H loving to get in the shower with him. But he didn't get in the actual streams of water, he stayed back against the tub end where there wasn't water coming down. And once we realized he had the tumor, son didn't let him in the bathroom anymore as we didn't by chance want water to get in his ear. H hated that though, son could hear him clawing at the door to get in. Funny cat....

Thank you all again for your sweet comments, you really have made this a bit more bearable.


Alj, so good to "see" you! :wavey:
 

missy

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Ellen, it is heartbreaking reading your backstory and how much your son has been dealing with for so long. Life can be so unfair. I am glad your son is feeling a bit better and time will help. When he is ready to open his heart to love another cat (or two) you will know. I am continuing to keep him in my prayers and think good thoughts for him and your whole family. (((HUGS))).
 

Ellen

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Thank you missy. :))
 

Calliecake

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Ellen, I so hope your son decides to give another Kitty a home. My brother and SIL got a dog shortly after they were married. The dog went and did everything with my SIL. He was loved by everyone. When he passed away my SIL said she would never get another dog because she was in so much pain losing him. She could hardly talk when she told me he had passed away. Two days later I stopped by to check on her. She came running out when I pulled up and running right along side her was the cutest puppy. She often said this dog healed her heart. He kissed all her tears away. He also was an incredible furbaby who was loved by everyone. Your son has been in my thoughts all week. I pray things get easier for him.
 

arkieb1

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All the best wishes and dust in the world for your son, I hope in time he can get another kitten or indeed a little puppy and it will all be O.K.
 

Ellen

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Thank you both.

Seems I spoke too soon, he is not doing as well as I thought. Not sure he wants another cat(or two). Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers....
 

missy

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Ellen, I am so sorry. Remember that there will be times your son feels better about things and times it will all hit him hard again and where he will be much more upset about Henry's death. It is like a roller coaster of emotions vs a smooth line. Healing will happen but it won't be linear and I am so sorry he is going through such a devastating loss.

My heart goes out to him and I am keeping you all in my prayers and I hope with time he will be open to rescuing another animal because I strongly believe that will help him heal further. In the meantime just be there for him (as I know you and your dh always are) and allow him to feel how he feels. I wonder if it would help him to talk to a therapist about this. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is never easy especially a loved one who was so young. I am so sorry.

(((HUGS))) to you and to your dear son. At times like this I wish we could fast forward ahead as many months as we need to in order to start feeling a little better about devastating circumstances and losses we cannot control. Wishing him healing and comfort and peace and may he allow himself to feel that kind of unconditional love again when he is ready.
 

Ellen

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Thank you missy. I did realize he would have ups and downs. It was just that the difference in 24 hours was drastic. I had not seen him this bad in many months. We both think it was that he's getting his sleeping hours "off" (which messes him up anyway) and he also slept way more than usual. The combo kind of fed everything, as he was much better last night at dinner and talking of getting a kitten again. But I know overall what you said is true. I reminded him that this episode is exactly why a new kitten or two would be beneficial. H gave him a reason to get up and keep going, and forced him to have a schedule. He agreed.

Thanks so much for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. I so appreciate it (as I do all of you!). And hopefully in the weeks to come I have a new fur baby to post pics of. ;))
 
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