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Help me con my gf !

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crease123

Rough_Rock
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Jan 19, 2009
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As the title suggest...help me con my gf!

Me and my gf went ring shopping about two weeks ago. She picked out the ring herself, and basically let me know what kind of diamonds she is looking for, so the "surprise" factor is completely non-existent.

However, she went back to the store yesterday and found out that the jeweller can''t resize it to fit her (from the ring''s current 6 to her''s 4). They will try to contact their headquarters to see whether they can custom make a size 4 for her, and promise will get back to her a day later on that possibility.

Earlier today, she told me she''s yet to hear from the store (its been two days). I called the store and found out that they can custom make the ring.

However, I told them to tell my GF, should she call, to say that they can''t make the ring for her. She will be so dissapointed as she really likes the ring alot (can''t stop talking about it, brought mom, sis and best friend to store to see it).

I think you know where this story is heading. I''m going to surprise her with the ring. The problem is, she will want to do more ring-shopping after this "set-back". I''m just worried what if she found something that she likes better
 
Be careful with this. Your GF may turn around and say that it''s okay because she was started looking again and now likes another ring better. I did that when my BF lied to me about the ring.
 
haha I know. That''s my main concern. Should I not go ahead with my sneaky plan?
 
yeah.... this could totally backfire! EEK!!! you''re sweet to try to surprise her though. you''ll just have to be ultra creative during the proposal!! GL!
 
How about asking the jeweler to call her and say they are going to TRY to get it. That way you can stall for a bit, get the ring made and she hopefully she won''t go out shopping immediately (no guarantee, though.)
Good luck! - BB
 
I say you just ask the jeweler to keep stalling her!!

Why do men love to get their gfs disappointed and then surprise them? My boyfriend always does this and he just doesn''t understand that it just doesn''t work! In some instances, I get so upset that I am unhappy even when he surprises me. Other times, I convince myself that I didn''t want it to begin with and look elsewhere. Now .. I expect him to surprise me all the time .. and get disappointed when he didn''t trick me!! Overall .. don''t do it .. it''s not good.
 
The only thing I can say is I did not end up liking my first ring choice after I looked and more styles. I recommend you two keep looking and see if her taste changes. Make sure you hit some high end jewelers so you are seeing a big variety of settings.

Even though I love my current setting one trip to a high-end jewelry store can sway me into thinking, "That would have been nice, too!!"

I agree, though, the whole bf-saves-they-day thing is better in romantic movies than real life. I'd be really annoyed because it's a lot of spent emotion for the benefit of the bf to feel good about himself and make me happy...again.
 
Yeah, I would find it annoying to be tormented just for a surprise. And by the time the surprise happened, I would probably have talked myself out of the style I was told I couldn''t have and moved on to something else.
 
I'd have to agree with the other ladies here. Don't maker her feel terrible for weeks just for one moment of surprise...

Also, shopping for rings could bring her weeks of joy. Most women enjoy picking out their ering...they get lots of attention, they get to shop with their SO, and they get to try on lots of jewelry! I don't know why the custom is to ignore all that fun for the one moment of shock when they see the ring. But that's just my opinion! You can still plan out a romantic surprise proposal...I'd prefer you go that route, if I were your GF.

It is sweet that you want to get her a ring she loves though!
 
I understand your dilemma. If the store is willing, have them tell her they are having trouble contacting the manufacturer as they''re on a 2 week shutdown for inventory or something. Then 14 days later they can tell her the mfg. has been contacted but it will be a week to get a quote and leadtime. By that time you might have your ring
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I''d say try to surprise her with it, but that''s me. Get it sized super quick and propose!
 
I agree with motownmama - if you can get it done quickly and try to preoccupy her mind that could be promising as a surprise in the end. But to sway her and make her believe that it''s not available, for the surprise later, may not work. She''s already so involved (not that I think anything''s wrong with that in the least bit). I also went to pick out my engagement ring with my BF and once I was involved, that was it. If I were your GF I''d be calling the store constantly to find out what''s going on and that''s a lot of responsibility to put on the store to stall her.

IMO, I have to say, that I''m not sure that shopping for more styles will do any good. We women can be fickle. I''m sure there are probably a good 20 rings that each of us could equally love. As long as you believe that she desperately LOVED the one you saw and hasn''t had any seconds thoughts about it in a while, then I say go with that one and try to make it quick.

Good luck.
 
I just got weak and told my gf that they have the ring. She was so reliefed and happy, and in the end, I guess thats what matters!
 
Date: 1/30/2009 12:18:39 AM
Author: crease123
I just got weak and told my gf that they have the ring. She was so reliefed and happy, and in the end, I guess thats what matters!
i totally understand how something like this can happen... i got my proposal ring and thought to keep it a secret for 2 months before proposing to my gf on valentine''s day... ended up telling her about it the very next day...
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Date: 1/30/2009 12:18:39 AM
Author: crease123
I just got weak and told my gf that they have the ring. She was so reliefed and happy, and in the end, I guess thats what matters!
Awww, good for you!! Please come back with pics!!!
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There is still lots of potential for surprise here since she doesn''t know when you will be getting the ring and giving it to her.
 
Date: 1/30/2009 12:58:11 AM
Author: blastdoor

Date: 1/30/2009 12:18:39 AM
Author: crease123
I just got weak and told my gf that they have the ring. She was so reliefed and happy, and in the end, I guess thats what matters!
i totally understand how something like this can happen... i got my proposal ring and thought to keep it a secret for 2 months before proposing to my gf on valentine''s day... ended up telling her about it the very next day...
41.gif
Thats actually a good story to tell the grandchildren. And fwiw, I think surprises are totally overrated. You did the right thing and you will probably get back in life the happiness you create.
 
Date: 1/29/2009 7:10:49 PM
Author: CharmyPoo
I say you just ask the jeweler to keep stalling her!!


Why do men love to get their gfs disappointed and then surprise them? My boyfriend always does this and he just doesn''t understand that it just doesn''t work! In some instances, I get so upset that I am unhappy even when he surprises me. Other times, I convince myself that I didn''t want it to begin with and look elsewhere. Now .. I expect him to surprise me all the time .. and get disappointed when he didn''t trick me!! Overall .. don''t do it .. it''s not good.


I totally hear you on this one. My bf and I discussed size of the diamond the other day and he said would you be happy with X and I said, I would rather Y and added that I would be willing to compromise on color and clarity to get Y. He just shot back with, well don''t you think you would be happy with X? I''m convinced that he is just trying to lead me down the wrong path - he actually hinted that that was his plan - but why can''t he just be honest!? He asked me what I thought and he didn''t listen! I''ve even told him on numerous occassions that I hate surprises!
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Date: 1/30/2009 12:18:39 AM
Author: crease123
I just got weak and told my gf that they have the ring. She was so reliefed and happy, and in the end, I guess thats what matters!
I''m glad!
 
Date: 1/30/2009 2:26:17 AM
Author: Piglet9j7

I totally hear you on this one. My bf and I discussed size of the diamond the other day and he said would you be happy with X and I said, I would rather Y and added that I would be willing to compromise on color and clarity to get Y. He just shot back with, well don''t you think you would be happy with X? I''m convinced that he is just trying to lead me down the wrong path - he actually hinted that that was his plan - but why can''t he just be honest!? He asked me what I thought and he didn''t listen! I''ve even told him on numerous occassions that I hate surprises!
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could it be he''s already gotten the X?

If that''s the case then I can totally why he did what he did... desperation, that''s how many of us guys react when we realised got something wrong (the fact that it happens all so often doesn''t make it any easier to deal with, and no thanks to the "friendly advise from the guys from the football league"..
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)..

i don''t know, i hope my feeling''s wrong... but if it turns out that he really went ahead and got it already, please be gentle on him, coz if that''s truly the case, i''m sure his whole world must be upside down right now...
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I think if you get the jeweller to stall her that should work. I have had this happen to me as a vendor.

One of my clients asked me to find a very specific kind of cushion cut shape diamond within a narrow colour/clarity range and specific budget - I did that and she wasn''st happy with the size (as it was 1+ carat and in her mind she wanted much larger)- three months later a perfect 2+ carat cushion cut diamond meeting her shape and colour/clarity requirements became available so I contacted him to ask whether he wanted to me to show it to her despite the much larger budget required. He said yes - she fell in love with it and he told me to make the ring but told her that he couldn''t afford it so that he was asking me to look for other diamonds. In the few weeks it took for us to get the ring ready - she and her mum were constantly calling me and also visiting every diamond trader in town looking for another diamond but never seeing anything else that she wanted. It all ended happily as she burst into tears of happiness when he presented the ring to her as she was completely surprised and they called me up to say thank you.
 
Interesting -- and informative -- thread. It reinforces that I made the right decision by following my GF''s request for a higher clarity stone at a ''yellower'' color (I), even though it also meant going with a smaller stone size. She will not have any surprises, other then the stone is actually bigger then she is expecting, and she will receive it a week earlier then she is anticipating.

This is the first site on the Internet I have spent time at where women are the bulk of the participants. As a guy, I always thought women liked to be surprised -- but I never gave much thought to the negative aspects of telling them something was not available just so they would be really surprised when they received it. But after reading these posts, it is not a path I will travel down in the future
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