help a lost little white girl choose indian jewellery?

[hippi_pixi]

I'm a white girl getting married to an indian aussie bloke this year. we're having a wedding in India that his mother is organising and then a wedding that i'm organising in Australia in October. His mother wants me dripping in gold and diamonds for the wedding in india and keeps asking what i want. her family jewellery in india is making it all. and its all been very difficult as indian jewellery is the opposite of my taste and it all gets lost in translation and neither of us knows what the other one means. i thought we had decided on a design months ago and now i'm being emailed sketches again :'(



All the designs will be in white gold and diamonds

this is design number 1. i have already said i like it but definitely no pearls. i like pearls but here i feel they look cluttered and steal focus. also i feel the square stone is too harsh. i would much prefer a pear or maybe round/oval. also i feel it still needs something hanging off the centre, maybe a halo'd colored gem?
means.

design number 2. not sure why it is a half sketch. again i would remove the pearl and potentially have a halo'd gem instead...


please any thoughts and opinions are welcomed! which one do you prefer?

 

[hippi_pixi]

by halo'd gem i'm thinking of exactly the same as the head piece thats already been made and i will be wearing on the wedding day. it like most of the jewellery he makes has colored gems that screw in and can be changed. the diamonds are marquise cuts and the strand that goes back into my hair is made of marquis set in pairs like v's stacked into each other. or like 2 strands of marquise set at opposing angles





edited to add i'm not scared to show my face but i had hayfever and look like rudolph in these photos!

 

[Rosebloom]

I think those sketches are to die for gorgeous!!!! And your headpiece is unbelievably spectacular!

If it were me, I wouldn't change a thing and I'd probably go with the traditional yellow gold since this isn't a piece you will wear everyday but more an important cultural tradition. But obviously you have to like it since it is clearly a significant investment!

If you don't like the pearls, maybe replace those aspects with cabochon gems? The pearls offer a textural contrast which the cabs could also do.

 

[Venti25]

What colour are you wearing on your day?

edit: You could even do the pearls as gold/silver beads? I'm thinking pears rather than spherical pearls though.

 

[rubyshoes]

I'm Indian, married to an Indian, and live in the US

I actually like both designs equally but if you pushed me, I'd say I pick no. 1. I also prefer a halo'ed gem to pearls. I also prefer the red stone over the dark blue one, unless of course you have blue eyes, in which case I'd pick turquoise.

You mentioned Hyderabad. That is a huuuuuuuuuuuge pearl center. Everyone there wears pearls and the city is famed for them. That is probably why pearls are the central focus of the sets

A few thoughts... I have tons of 22k Indian jewelry (literally 15 heavy gold sets and several gemstones). Know how many times I've worn them since I got married? Maybe twice. It is not that they are not beautiful, because they are exquisite! Anyone who has seen Indian jewelry knows it blows Western stuff out of the water where craftsmanship is concerned. The problem is, that stuff is so ornate it only looks good on Indian outfits, and that too the really fancy ones worn at weddings or festivals. If one lives in India, one constantly has the opportunity to wear them! If one lives abroad, one can wear them maybe once a year at Diwali. I would never say this within earshot of my mom, but it's a waste of money if one lives abroad. That same money can be used towards more Western, minimalist pieces (a basic diamond wardrobe, if you will) if one is living outside India. But Indians are VERY reluctant to hear this sort of thing. My mother would have thrown a fit if I said this to her so I let her buy what she wanted and it sits in my box. OTOH the stuff I really wanted (diamond solitaires, studs, bracelet, a high-end watch) I am still purchasing one by one and it's taken me years.

As your in-laws are paying for these jewels, accept them gracefully and don't say a word about them not being practical or versatile. It just won't be taken well... BUT, if they say they want to buy you other stuff AS WELL, try to steer them towards getting you basic Western looking things you can wear in Australia or see how amenable they would be to deferring a purchase until you can return to Australia and they can pay for it.

As for thinking that the design was finalized and why are you being sent sketches still... that's the Indian way lol. It's never 'done' until it's 'done'. Get used to it, decisions will be changed until the last-minute! And sometimes the bride is the last to know lol. It drives me batty but again, that's just the way the older generation is. Also, I know in the West, the wedding is about the bride. That is NOT SO in India. In India the wedding is about the families, and a lot of women will say it's about the MIL getting her way. Not being catty, that's how it is. You may get more leeway as you are not Indian but saying yes, not losing your cool even when people are being pushy, will go a long way. Make the Aussie wedding entirely about yourself, but make the Indian wedding about his family. Also, Indian weddings are a very important way of showing one's status in society. Decisions will often be taken purely because it makes the family look 'good' as opposed to because people want it like that.

I hope you don't mind my little lecture... I don't wish to step on your toes. The intention is to help if I can.

Enjoy the attention you get. Indians spoil brides and newlyweds and our wedding ceremonies are the most fun and flamboyant in the world, bar none! You will be a beautiful bride!

 

[meredeth11]

Agree with rubyshoes, she convinced me without any doubt, girl, take her pieces, guess you two have much om common to deal with.

 

[rosetta]

I like the first design a lot, especially with the pearls. This stuff is not versatile, it's only meant to be worn on special occasions so dont worry about that. Although I did receive a few of the heavy gold stuff, I was able to steer my in laws towards buying me a diamond tennis necklace which I'm MUCH happier to wear

 

[chrono]

Fabulous designs! My preference is No. 1 and instead of pearls, perhaps a pear stone hanging off the bottom. I love the intricate design of Indian jewellery and having been immersed in the culture before, I second the advice by Rubyshoes. The Indian wedding is the family's chance to show off their status and wealth and what you are experiencing is the traditional way of how things are done culturally. You'll be a splendid looking bride. The entire wedding will be a whirlwind of multiple outfit changes (most will be brocade or gem encrusted) while bedecked in jewellery (yes, literally dripping in gold and diamonds and gemstones).

 

[hippi_pixi]

Thankyou Rosebloom, Venti25, rubyshoes, meredeth11, rosetta and chrono

a few of you said you liked the first sketch better. that was my instinct too. but my MIL didn't like that one much and asked for more sketches. or models as she says i was so confused at the beginning when she kept saying she was having models of jewellery sent from india and we kept getting pictures. i've made some changes and will email back to her.

rubyshoes it is so good to hear from you. hopefully i might be able to absorb more info off you before the big day. i was unaware that hyderbad was big on pearls. i actually like pearls but i don't like clutter. i prefer a strong theme and allowing the hero to shine. if i were wearing pearls i would want pearls to be the hero of the piece.

they originally were going to do everything in gold with diamonds but that would have meant white gold prongs and a general 2 tone appearance which i really dislike so i asked for either 100% white gold or 22k gold with out diamonds. my MIL said i must have diamonds so white gold it is. i would LOVE to see your 22k gold sets.

i find the indian way very confusing. i guess i still have quite a few months before the wedding to get used to all this.

i revised the sketch to remove the pearls, make the centrestone and halo round and the dangle to match my head jewel. i forget what this head jewel is called rubyshoes do you know? also do you know of any indian reason to not like blue stones in jewellery? MIL's jeweller refused to make me a ring with a blue stone because of bad luck/mojo...

 

[chrono]

I worry that this simplified version might be too plain for your future MIL. Can the pearl dangles be replaced with matching coloured stone or diamond pear drops? The headpiece is called a tikka. For weddings, bright colours are "lucky" and I am sure red will be well received.

 

[rubyshoes]

Headpiece is called 'maang tikka'.

Yeah, blue stones are associated with bad luck unless your horoscope specifically says that they are good for you. Actually the superstition is regarding sapphires (known as 'neelam') but it gets extended to all blue stones to be cautious. I have a friend whose husband bought her a sapphire set (simple pendant+studs thing from the mall) and she went and returned it. When I told her that the chance of those sapphires being 'real' was next to nil, she said she'd rather play it safe. Ooookay!

I hear you on the two-tone look, I frankly hate it.

I'll take pics of my sets to show you. My actual wedding set (it is hugemongous!) is in India with my mom but I have the smaller sets that were worn in different ceremonies. I'll also show you my mom's pearl earrings (called jhumkas) from Hyderabad.

Oh, and when you visit Hyderabad, go to a store (it's a state govt-owned chain actually) called 'Lepakshi'. They have amazing traditional arts and crafts for the home. My best friend lives in Hyd so when I visited her 3 years ago she took me there and I shopped like a crazy person.

Don't be too stressed. I am excited for you! I got married so loooooong ago and none of my younger cousins are married yet so I am enjoying living vicariously through you.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

If pearls are important to your MiL, why not ask them to be removable? Just have the jeweler add a set of small hooks in the back, from which each pearl can hang. Then, when you are not wearing the full necklace, they can be hung from hoop earrings, used as jackets from diamond studs, as a pendant or hanging from one.

 

[GliderPoss]

Wow these designs are amazing! I am literally green with envy...

I suggest you ask the jewellers to make everything detachable so you can break the larger pirces down to more casual jewels eg. Necklace turns into two bracelets and a broach, the droplets turn into earrings etc like antique tiara's used to do.

 

[AGBF]

I've been an avid follower of this thread. I have nothing wise to say. I do want to say that like many others who have posted, I have been getting a great deal of vicarious pleasure from the thread.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[hippi_pixi]

haha i thought this thread would have disappeared into obscurity by now. thats why i love posting in the jewellery and antique forums. quieter but you don't get lost in the crowd.

I will very soon get my hands on the official photos of our engagement party that show of some of the bling. the necklace will be done in time for the wedding but wasn't in time for the photos so i have borrowed one of the familys necklaces. the great thing about indian family is that it turns out the jewellery (clothes, cars etc) is all communal so they keep telling me i can have whatever i want just have to say the word

i still haven't had the conversation about the necklace yet. i do plan on asking about parts being detachable. but i think it needs to be in person with diagrams and my partner to translate so nothing gets mixed up.

photos coming soon!!

 

[innerkitten]

Very exciting! I can't wait to see what you go with.

 

[Rosa]

I just have to add that you are so lucky! Enjoy the attention - I would be thrilled if my in-laws wanted to give me jewelry like that!

The sketches are all beautiful. While I understand what you are saying about the pearls feeling cluttered on that necklace, if they have special significance in Hyderabad, I would go with it. You've gotten great advice to make the jewelry detachable, and if it doesn't turn out that can be accomplished before the wedding, perhaps it could be adjusted afterwards....

Also want to add that you may have several children, and someday you could break up the piece - e.g. make pearl earrings for your daughter to wear on her wedding day, which would be sweet b/c YOU wore them on yours. (Or if you have all sons and like their fiancees, then you could give them pearl drop earrings as a wedding gift.) I guess my motto is: never say no to more jewelry, ha ha.

 

[styringca]

I will love the first design much more myself,but if you donn't want the pearls,the center halo setting gemstone will looks better than the square one.

 

[Rhea]

The idea of detachable pearls and dangles is a great one. I'm all for keeping the peace with your in-laws. You're going to get a few pieces, like it or not, and they aren't everyday pieces so you might as well go with it! I love the idea of pearls because they are special in Hyderabad.

 

[meredeth11]

People's views about beauty and fashion are different. This may be the reason they choose diamond and gold. Personally, I prefer to the second one, and I think the red diomand is more suitable for you.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Any updates on this? I can't wait to see some of the finished pieces you're going to receive!

 

[BhavinJ]

Feeling Nostalgic, reminds me of me visiting my grandpa at his workshop when I was five. He was a master in making such fabulous designs.

Best wishes for your marriage.

 

[minousbijoux]

I'm just now stumbling over this thread - please come back with pictures! Don't tease us! Oh, and congrats on the big day! A two continent celebration; how awesome!!

 

[hippi_pixi]

Update: the indian wedding is in 7 weeks and my FMIL left yesterday for india to do the final organising. and i had chosen a necklace months ago after this thread and on the weekend they started sending me more pictures!!! So i guess i have to make a new choice. I've made a new thread asking for opinions here:
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ok-decision-time-on-indian-bridal-jewellery.190341/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ok-decision-time-on-indian-bridal-jewellery.190341/[/URL]

the language barriers were frustrating me cos i couldn't understand what was happening. but I'm just going with the flow now and its much less stressful. except that we're not understanding each other on saree choices now. oh well.

 

[minousbijoux]

Update: the indian wedding is in 7 weeks and my FMIL left yesterday for india to do the final organising. and i had chosen a necklace months ago after this thread and on the weekend they started sending me more pictures!!! So i guess i have to make a new choice. I've made a new thread asking for opinions here:
[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ok-decision-time-on-indian-bridal-jewellery.190341/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/ok-decision-time-on-indian-bridal-jewellery.190341/[/URL]

the language barriers were frustrating me cos i couldn't understand what was happening. but I'm just going with the flow now and its much less stressful. except that we're not understanding each other on saree choices now. oh well.

This is just so exciting!!! Squeee!