he wants to surprise me, i want to give him input

[nycgal]

my BF and I have talked about getting engaged soon--but he won''t even consider going ring shopping together.

i want to provide input on the ring, but he wants it to be a surprise.

he thinks if we go ring shopping together, i won''t be surprised when he pops the question...

but i know he''s already saving up for a ring.

thoughts??

 

[psaddict]

Well, if you''ve already discussed getting engaged soon AND discussed whether or not to go ring shopping together... it already isn''t a surprise! You already have an idea that it''s coming sometime soon. As for the ring itself being a surprise... just let him know you''d rather it be a pleasant surprise than an unpleasant surprise. Maybe you could email him a few pictures of ring styles you like, just so he at the very least knows what shape stone you like! It would suck to get a marquis when you love round, or vice versa.

 

[nycgal]

thanks for your input. i like the idea of letting him know i''d like a "pleasant v. unpleasant" surprise. i''m concerned about this because i know that i want something very specific (i''d love a cushion cut micro-pave halo), but i''m afraid he''ll get me something else.

but i will email him some ring ideas...thanks!

 

[psaddict]

Another thought is, do you think he would consider asking a friend or a sister of yours to go ring shopping with him? Lots of guys do this... that way they get the input of someone who really knows your taste in jewelry, while still feeling like they''re "surprising" you by not having you there at the store. Then you could send hints to whoever he''s taking shopping with him...

 

[Miranda]

Send him links of what you do like and do not like. Do it quickly...Is he planning a Christmas proposal????

 

[anchor31]

Well, as some us us say often, unless he sends you an email with what/how/where/when, it will still be a surprise. Believe me!

My FI didn''t want to take me shopping at first too. I told him that I was going to wear the ring, not him, to I should choose it, or at least give him some input... He gave me the "surprise" argument, and then I said: "Okay... Then you won''t mind if I pick your wedding band."

He stared at me, then said: "Alright, I''ll take you shopping."

What''s good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

It''s a good thing I picked my ring too, because he wanted to give me a princess with baguettes... I picked a RB with marquise sides.

I should add that choosing the ring together was an amazing experience for us and it''s a great memory we share together. FI is immensely proud of the ring and I adore it! Everyone wins.

 

[treysar]

My DH proposed with a solitaire so i could pick the setting - that was the best of both worlds!!

Or maybe cut out a few "suggestions" and give them to him as a guide..

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I agree about sending him links to the rings you like. This is going to be a ring you have forever. I think it is very important you at least give him an IDEA of what you like (what shape and color metal is a good start).

 

[nycgal]

thanks for all the great suggestions. i will definitely feed info to his sister-in-law (who i''m told will be his partner in shopping), and will also tell him that i have full reign over his wedding band--lets see what he says!

 

[findarock]

I am glad that I read your thread, I am in the position that your boyfriend is in. My GF and I agree that we should get married but I want to surprise her. I read the different responses, my thought about this is that I want it to be a surprise and I feel the same way as your BF regarding your input.
I think I will take the advice of talking with my future sister inlaw to do some fact finding to help me?
Also, what you consider a story book proposal?