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:-( He cheated.

Parsley

Parsley

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 29, 2009
Messages
152
Oh girls.

I found him in the pub yesterday, with my best friend. They were all over each other. I had started to suspect something might have happened a couple of weeks ago, she started acting really ''maneater'' towards him. I doubt this is the first time.

What do I do? This hurts so much more than anything I''ve ever imagined. I can''t eat, sleep, move, breathe...
 
WOW.

I am so so so sorry that this happened. I know what it feels like to be cheated on and its an awful, awful feeling.

I know this sounds cliche but everything does happen for a reason and I''m sure you will see he big picture eventually and you will be thankful that you didn''t end up with him.

Nobody deserves to be treated that way.

I think with time, wounds heal significantly and this is something that is going to take time to move forward from.

I hope you''re able to find some peace in your heart
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Oh my gosh, Parsley. I am so, so sorry. I''ll let you know that I have also had a former SO cheat on me with a former best friend. So I know how the betrayal is so painful. Plus she got drunk and ended up telling all of our common friends, so I felt completely humiliated on top of it all.

I know it feels like you won''t get past it, but you will. You need to cut these people from your life. Anyone who could do that (I''m talking about both your SO and your friend) obviously doesn''t care about you enough to be worth your time. I haven''t talked to my "friend" for years now, and I am much better without someone like that in my life.

I''m just here to let you know that I''ve been there and give you a virtual hug. Do they know that you saw them? What has their reaction been?
 
They do know. She has rung me over and over trying to deny it, changing her story every time, saying it wasn''t like that. It was. At first I hung back, thinking they were just hugging, but they weren''t. Didn''t notice I was there until I said something. He didn''t come home, eventually sent me a text saying he was sorry, it was inexcusable, hoped I could trust him/another man again.

I just feel so helpless. All the plans I had for this summer are now ruined...I was supposed to be going to a festival with her, now it looks like I''ve wasted £150. I just keep fixating on all the things I can''t do now. It just hurts so much.
 
Oh no! I''m so sorry. That''s just awful.
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I''m so sorry to hear that. For what its worth, at least you know now what kind of person he is and you can make an informed decision about your future. Wishing you strength and peace.
 
Oh i am so sorry hon. I completely know how that feels. You handled it well it sounds like. A lot better than i did, when i found out my ex cheated, and now im known as the crazy girl. Like others have said, everything happens for a reason, and maybe the pain now is easier to deal with than, the pain that might have came during marriage. We are here to talk if you need it
 
Oh Parsley, my stomach is in knots for you just reading this - I can''t even imagine how you must feel. This has got to be every girl''s absolute worst nightmare in terms of cheating. If it were me, I really don''t think this is something that I could ever forgive. If it had been some drunken one off with some random girl, I could maybe, MAYBE find it in myself to forgive and try to work things out. It would take a lot of soul searching and probably a LOT of time and in the end it might not work out, but I could see myself giving it a shot. But this sort of betrayal is something that I could never forgive either of them for, especially since it seems this may have been an ongoing thing. I remember you have had some painful relationship issues in the past - I don''t know how things have been lately, but I think it''s time to let it go. Please take care of yourself. Sending MANY hugs your way.
 
Again, I''m really feeling for your right now. The first reaction is always going to be denial, but I mean, it sounds like that''s kind of ridiculous at this point. Just remember, it feels like hell now, but it WILL get better. There are people out there who will not do this to you. I have friends now who would never, ever do something like that. And as much as it hurts, you should be happy that you found out about it instead of unknowingly staying with someone who is unfaithful to you.

Take some time to grieve and be sad. Spend a lot of time with other friends who you trust. And then try to keep your head up!
 
I''m sorry Parsely you must hurt so much!

We''re here for you.
 
Parsley, hugs and more hugs to you. I am really, sincerely sorry to hear about this.
 
Oh, Parsley
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Many (((((((hugs)))))))) for you.

Another wise PSer (can''t remember which one) once said that people show you who they are. Their actions reflect terribly on THEM and YOU DESERVE BETTER. We''re here for you.
 
Oh I am so so so sorry to hear that.
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They are both slimy people and a--holes for taking the risk of hurting you this badly just to satisfy their own lust. People like this should be cut out of your life forever. You deserve so much better. (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
 
NOOOOOO!!!!

he is scum!

i''m so sorry parsely and so angry for you
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aaaarrrggghhhhhh, why are men so STUPID sometimes??!!
 
My heart dropped when I read this! I''m so sorry sweetie! Take some time to be hurt, angry, etc. But know that you deserve MUCH better (in a man and in a best friend). What they did to you was inexcusable. ((HUGS))

Just a side question: are you two living together?
 
Oh Parsley! ((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))) I am so so so sorry that this has happened. You truly deserve better than these people because as merilenda said, it doesn''t seem like they care too much about you.

I know how much it hurts to find out your SO cheated. I just hope that your pain eases soon. We are here if you need to vent/talk/whatever.
 
I know it hurts right now, but in the end, I think you wil realize you witnessing this was actually a blessing in disguise. They both showed their true colors to you, and now you can move on to someone more wonderful than you can imagine.
 
Lots of hugs your way.

It is painful and confusing now, and, one day you will look back on it and even appreciate how it all worked out.

The only other thing I want to say is about his response that he hopes you can trust him/another man one day. Do not work on trusting HIM again in these circumstances...and don''t even allow him the credit or power to affect your trust of others. Not all men are like this and do not even give him the power to try and convince you they all are. He has not *broken* you even if you are hurting - do not give him that!

Individual counseling can be wonderful in these situations if you are having a tough time.
 
Parsley, I am so incredibly sorry this happened
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I''m sending you lots and lots of hugs. Keep posting here, we''re here to support you through everything.
 
OMG I''m sorry Parsley.

He is scum, and so is she. People who love you don''t do this. Really, in the grand scheme of things they''re perfect for each other and you''re better off without either of them in your life. Don''t think of this as the end of something and a lost opportunity, think of all of the time, independence, and opportunities you''ve GAINED! You don''t have to have this fleabag of a man in your life, that opens you up to meeting someone who is deserving of you. Similarly, why would you want to go do social things with a girl who pretty much spit in your face and would do so again?

Cut your losses, pack your bags and move on to bigger and better things.
 
I''m so sorry you''re going through all this. Please stay strong and know you can come here anytime you need an escape..we''re here. It''s hard to lose an SO and a best friend at the same time, but it''s what had to happen for you to be able to move on to something much better when you''re ready.
 
I''m so sorry Parsley.... he''s a scumbag. You deserve much much much better ((HUGS))
 
oh parsley i''m so sorry! i remember what being cheated on felt like and that was without the "best friend" thrown into the mix. i''m sending you lots and lots of hugs, and plenty of ice cream. you deserve so much better from both your boyfriend and your best friend, and i''m sure you''ll find amazing people to replace them. hopefully one of your other friends will want to go to the festival with you and your money won''t be wasted after all.

hugs, hugs, and more hugs!
 
That''s terrible! I''m sorry this happened to you.
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I''d like to echo the others who''ve said that while it sucks to have to deal with this, at least you know what kind of people they are and that they can''t be trusted.
 
Lots of hugs to you parsley, I was so sad to read this. No one deserves that. I can''t imagine how you must feel but I hope you have others in your life who can support you through this awful experience. You always have all us ladies here if needed.
 
Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I really have no words for this situation. What awful people to do this to you. All I can say is to take care of yourself right now. Go get a mani/pedi, wathch a silly movie, and lean on the people who you know would never do this to you.
 
Oh Parsley, I''m so sorry for you. To reiterate on what Rai Kai said, you are not broken, just hurting right now. I''m sure you will feel pain for a while, but you will pull through, and move on to someone who deserves you.

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))
 
Wow I am so so sorry. Everyone has pretty much said it all. You deserve better than him (and her) and though it may not seem like it now, it''s good that you''re seeing who he really is before you committed yourself to him in marriage. I hope you start feeling better soon and please know that we''re all here for you.
 
Thank you every for your words of support. This pain is like nothing I could ever have imagined. He''s text me a couple more times apologising, but the worst part is I know him so well, and can tell that his texts are insincere. It looks like they''ve been at it since Easter, so he''s only sorry he got caught, not in the least sorry for what he did.

We did live together - all of us. My friend came and found me after I found them, took me home, let me do my angry bit (a.k.a. tearing up his cards and throwing them back in his room along with anything he ever gave me, which it turns out was a ukulele, some perfume and sunglasses over 3 years), I called my mum and told her, then friend took over the phone and asked them to come get me. She helped me throw some things in bags to get out of there as soon as possible. I will have to go back there sooner or later to get my other bits, but hopefully they''ll have gone. All our other housemates now despise them, so I can''t imagine they''ll stay any longer than they have to.

I''m just so angry today. Whenever my friends text me and ask if I want to talk I just start talking about how much I hate them, and I do, I hate them so much. She''s been talking to me the last couple of weeks about how he''s been treating me, even asking if I still loved him! Now it''s clear it was just sizing me up. She carried on even when I said I still loved him and thought we could figure it out. I hate her. I HATE HER.

You know what was really horrible today? My nephew and niece were over, to make me feel better. My niece (2 years old) kept talking about him, and asking if it was him on the phone. My nephew was so sweet, giving me hugs when he saw me crying, and then going and fetching me a flower from the garden because I was sad.

:-(
 
oh honey, that is a double betrayal. I''m SO sorry. I wish I was your best friend and could talk you through it and hug you. F them!
 
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