having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose???

[hoynnij]

Hi all,

So I have been looking with my boyfriend for engagement rings for the past 6 weeks. My problem is that I like several different styles and am really struggling to decide between them. There is added pressure as my boyfriend has said that he doesnt want me to upgrade/change my e-ring in the future (but he did say he would buy me nice rings in the future instead )

My choices are:
1) A Leon Mege bezel halo with a 1.5ct antique cushion cut, with milgrain detailing (similar to Tiffany Legacy), platinum
2) a 3 stone ring with 1.3ct emerald centre stone, trapezoid sides, plain rose gold band
3) a 1.35c RBC cathedral with bead set melee and milgrain detailing, rose gold. Considering getting this done by Mark Morrell.

They are so different! And I love them all.

My thoughts so far are:
1) Might look a bit OTT for me (I'm quite a casual dresser generally)? But I like the fact that there are no prongs to get caught/bent, the diamond is protected (I'm not very careful with my hands, so chances of banging my ring on hard surfaces is high ). I have always loved the 'antique' styling...

2) Really like the 'clean' look of it, but I dont like how it has looked so far with a wedding band (I definitely want to wear one). Also worried that I might scratch myself/others with the prominent prongs? (esp future babies... which would mean I would have to not wear the ring). Also I'm worried that I wont be able to select good stones, as I have no experience with EC's and traps and would be buying them online with limited return potential (I live in Australia). Are there any vendors that are EC specialists?

3) This is the design that I keep getting drawn back to when I go to view rings at B&M stores, but at the same time when I think about it I feel slightly 'bored' with the design. If I feel that already, and I dont even have it yet, how am I going to feel in 5/10/20 years time?

Help! What would you do?

 

[Christina...]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

I think if it were me and I knew that I would never be upgrading or changing my setting, that I would choose something classic and timeless. A beautiful solitaire or three stone would be my choice with a gorgeous diamond wedding band that could also be worn alone or as a RHR, and one that I could stack other rings with (think all those beautiful future rings he has promised ), this way you can switch it up a bit and your wedding rings will always look fresh to you.

 

[AprilBaby]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

Eeine, meenie, meine, moe?

 

[hoynnij]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

I think if it were me and I knew that I would never be upgrading or changing my setting, that I would choose something classic and timeless. A beautiful solitaire or three stone would be my choice with a gorgeous diamond wedding band that could also be worn alone or as a RHR, and one that I could stack other rings with (think all those beautiful future rings he has promised ), this way you can switch it up a bit and your wedding rings will always look fresh to you.

So would you say that the halo is not classic and timeless?

I agree with what you are saying, although my other problem is that I prefer the look of a plain wedding band. Which, together with a plainer style e-ring, just looks too... well.. plain.

Have you seen any wedding bands that look good with a three stone EC? I dont like the large gap that you see between the rings, and I dont like bands that have been bent to fit with the e-ring either... Is there any way of getting around this?

Maybe I'm being too difficult

But I also think that my e-ring *should* be the most expensive piece of jewellery I own, so its only downhill from here! ie no expensive diamond halo's in my future. Should I get it while I can? heh

 

[hoynnij]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

AprilBaby: I may resort to this!

This is giving me a headache.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

I agree that something classic and timeless is your best bet. I would stick with platinum and have a relatively simple e-ring. I got the Tiffany Legacy wedding band to give me the antique aspect. I also have some beautiful antique style right hand rings. But my wedding set looks great even when I am in sweats or dressed up (which is rare). I want a rose gold ring for a RHR, but not for the ring to wear for the rest of my life. From looking at my jewelry box, there are rings that no longer fit my taste. The one mistake I did not make was having a diamond solitaire with a diamond wedding band(s) as my original and upgraded set. The great thing about a relatively simple e-ring is that you can get new bands over time to have a change without resetting your engagement ring.

Of your choices, I'd choose #3 in all platinum and have him make the matching wedding band.

 

[Niel]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

well a bezel halo is classic and safe for your stone,being that it is bezeled

but I guess think about this; will you love rose gold for years and years? Also, what do the rings of people you know look like? Do you want to stand out or fit in? Do you want the hall of mirrors look of an emerald cut or the classic sparkle of a round? How much finger coverage do you want? Do you want something vintage or timeless?

I think once you answer those type questions itll help narrow it down

what a great problem to have! all great choices

 

[hoynnij]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

well a bezel halo is classic and safe for your stone,being that it is bezeled

but I guess think about this; will you love rose gold for years and years? Also, what do the rings of people you know look like? Do you want to stand out or fit in? Do you want the hall of mirrors look of an emerald cut or the classic sparkle of a round? How much finger coverage do you want? Do you want something vintage or timeless?

I think once you answer those type questions itll help narrow it down

what a great problem to have! all great choices

ha, yes, what a tough life I have, right?

I think rose gold will be fine for me, as I have loved yellow/rose gold for many years already.

I dont want to 'fit in', hence why I dont want a platinum solitaire rbc.

I like the look of an emerald cut just as I like the sparkle of a round.

Finger coverage wise, I have largeish fingers, so I was thinking bigger coverage would be better? ie leaning towards halo/trilogy.

I thought that vintage = timeless, because if something that is 'old' is still appealing, then I would expect it to continue to be appealing in another 30 years time. No?

Thanks for all your responses! Much appreciated.. My bf is not much help - he's just as indecisive as I am!

 

[hoynnij]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

The great thing about a relatively simple e-ring is that you can get new bands over time to have a change without resetting your engagement ring.

This is a really great point. Hmm, maybe I should consider getting a solitaire after all?

Actually, if I think further about why I dont like the 'look' of diamond bands next to plain solitaire e-rings, I think it is because I think it overwhelms the solitaire sometimes. But I guess I just have to stick to smaller diamonds in the band. Wow, its like a revelation of sorts! haha

But then we go back to the point of finger coverage... I guess that's where a big diamond comes in

This is really proving valuable in stimulating my thought, and really is helping me!

 

[MyDiamondSparkles]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

They are all beautiful, so I can see why it's a difficult decision.

Have yout actually tried on all of your setting choices to see how they look on your hand? Because I will tell you that what you see online often looks way different on the hand. I always thought I liked an antique style setting but after trying on a lot of them, seriously like 50-- might have even been 100, they look awful on my hand and I'm not even sure why that is as they are so beautiful in photos. My hand looks better with a solitaire and eternity or a very delicate halo.

 

[pandabee]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

They are all beautiful, so I can see why it's a difficult decision.

Have yout actually tried on all of your setting choices to see how they look on your hand? Because I will tell you that what you see online often looks way different on the hand. I always thought I liked an antique style setting but after trying on a lot of them, seriously like 50-- might have even been 100, they look awful on my hand and I'm not even sure why that is as they are so beautiful in photos. My hand looks better with a solitaire and eternity or a very delicate halo.

Second this! All 3 sound like great options though. Have you thought about an emerald solitaire? Just throwing some more options at ya

 

[Niel]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

well a bezel halo is classic and safe for your stone,being that it is bezeled

but I guess think about this; will you love rose gold for years and years? Also, what do the rings of people you know look like? Do you want to stand out or fit in? Do you want the hall of mirrors look of an emerald cut or the classic sparkle of a round? How much finger coverage do you want? Do you want something vintage or timeless?

I think once you answer those type questions itll help narrow it down

what a great problem to have! all great choices

ha, yes, what a tough life I have, right?

I think rose gold will be fine for me, as I have loved yellow/rose gold for many years already.

I dont want to 'fit in', hence why I dont want a platinum solitaire rbc.

I like the look of an emerald cut just as I like the sparkle of a round.

Finger coverage wise, I have largeish fingers, so I was thinking bigger coverage would be better? ie leaning towards halo/trilogy.

I thought that vintage = timeless, because if something that is 'old' is still appealing, then I would expect it to continue to be appealing in another 30 years time. No?

Thanks for all your responses! Much appreciated.. My bf is not much help - he's just as indecisive as I am!

I dont equate timeless to vintage. timeless to means you could look at it and it doesnt look like any era. Looking at a classic Tiffany solitaire looks about the same as it ever has. It doesnt have a time you could pinpoint. A vintage look either IS from or likens to a specific era and style. At least how I look at it. Vintage fall in and out of fashion, timeless is more enduring.

Based of what you said I would say the rose gold three stone emerald. If you've liked rose gold for so long and if it looks go on your skin I say you should go for it, or even yellow gold if youre worried about that going out of fashion. If you want to stand out a emerald would do that more than a round or a halo stone, even though the cushion cut is a little more unique too. Finger coverage? I think a three stone is a good idea. I had started a thread which I was concerned about finger coverage on a larger finger and a lot of people said halo or three stone to stretch the coverage to fit my budget. And to me emeralds are timeless. Ive seen emeralds 3 stones with baguettes from the 30's that would sell in stores today.


or this one from PM1742, I feel like this would stand the test of time, and even though its much bigger then your budget ( i assume) you get the drift.
But this is assuming youve tried all those types on your hand and like them all. If you havent, go try some on. That might answer your question for you.

 

[Boogins]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

Having read the whole thread, I would go with the EC 3 stone. Great finger coverage, timeless design, and I LOVE the rose gold idea. It sounds like this combo would fit your personality. I personally love halos but I do think they will look very 2010 in 10 or 20 years, even though they are technically a vintage look. I would suggest Leon Mege for this ring bc he has a great eye for side stones and his 3 stones have great proportion and fluidity. Also, his prong work is lovely and I highly doubt you will have a lot of pointy or rough edges. One last thing, I know a lot of people want a MRB for maximum sparkle, but IMO a well cut EC is simply mesmerizing. The flashes are blinding and I think a good EC evokes sophisticated glamour. Good luck and make sure to kiss your fiance for being such a sweetie!

P.S. I would go with a platinum plain wedding band and have the claws of the ring made in platinum as well. That way you still get the contrast you crave and avoid the plain jane look. Plus, a plain platinum band is awesome to wear alone when needed.

 

[Boogins]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

Oh I forgot to add-- Any ring you choose can be customized to fit flush with the wedding band if you are working with a custom designer. There are endless gallery options out there for you to choose from! When you have decided which ring you want, come back and we can post gallery ideas if you are coming up empty.

 

[Dougsgirl]

Re: having trouble deciding on a setting - how do I choose??

Hmmm... this is a tough one. I just wrestled with some of these same decisions while designing my "forever ring" (after almost 19 years of marriage). I ended up choosing an antique-style cushion cut (AVC) in a very delicate halo. I realize that this may look "dated" in 10 or 20 years, but it is also an "antique look" that has been popular before and will be popular again. And for ME, I much prefer it over a plain solitaire. I don't want my ring to look like everyone else's.

Have you thought about combining some of your ideas?? Maybe putting the 1.5ct antique cushion in the cathedral solitaire with milgrain?? It would be stunning and yet different than everyone else's solitaire. I, personally, have no interest in the RB's. But everyone is different.

Bottom line... get what makes your heart sing.

Here's mine...