Haven (and others!) please help me with my invitation wording

[Guilty Pleasure]

Hello all! I know there are a million threads and internet articles out there, but I don''t know which ones to trust... I don''t want to "do what I want to do because I''m the bride" in this case! I would like to have a formal invitation with the "right" wording, so I need to know what I can and cant do. Here''s what I have:

Mr. and Mrs. dadfirst dadmiddle dadlast
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
myfirst mymiddle
to
FIfirst FImiddle FIlast
Lieutenant, United States Navy
son of
Mr. and Mrs. first middle last
on Saturday, the eighteenth of July
Two thousand and nine
at five o''clock
church name
123 Carter Creek Parkway
Bryan, Texas


Questions:

!. Are the words, "on" and "at" necessary, or can I drop them? Right now, it kind of reads like one big long sentence without puncuation. I think it''s supposed to be like that, but I didn''t know if I could deviate from that.

2. Do I have to write, "in the afternoon" after the time for it to be proper? I think five o''clock in the afternoon sounds a little silly, but evening doesn''t start until 6.

Thanks guys!!

 

[cara]

If you want to be succinct and perfectly proper, you can drop the 'on' 'at' and 'and' as follows:

Saturday, the eighteenth of July
two thousand nine
five o'clock
church name
etc...

You do not need 'in the afternoon' for 5 pm, its assumed a wedding at 5 is in the afternoon. (You would need 'in the morning' for a 5 am sunrise wedding!)

The only thing I am not sure of is including your fiance's military rank b/c I haven't looked at that issue.

 

[Haven]

Hi, GP!

Your wording looks great. I agree with Cara that you can drop the "on" and the "at." The "on" doesn't appear in Peggy Post's wording suggestions at all, anyway, and I think it sounds fine without the "at." Also agree that you do not need the "in the afternoon" for exactly the reason Cara mentioned.

As for the military title, the way you have it worded is correct if a commander ranks higher than a lieutenant, which I believe one does. You could also choose to use only your FI's social title "Mr." and not include the military title at all.

Well done, lady!

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Thank you very much, both of you!

I knew the "in the afternoon" was unnecessary since even I would not attend my own wedding at 5 in the morning, but I wanted to make sure it was appropriate to leave it off.

Yes, Lieutenant in the Navy is below Commander. To my knowledge, it''s still considered a junior officer, so it belongs underneath. However, it''s the same "level" as a Captain in the Army, which I believe goes in front of the name, so I wasn''t 100% sure. If anyone finds out differently, then please let me know! Since my fiance is wearing his uniform, and we have men in uniform standing in the wedding, I thought it would be nice to give a nod to his military service instead of calling him "Mr."

My next thing to tackle will be the reception card. I am including on the card that dress uniforms are invited, and I''ll have to find out the right wording for that. I''m assuming this goes on the reception card and not the invitation because this is like saying "black tie optional"... people don''t put that on the ceremony invitation, right?


Another question: Is there a "right" way to do response cards?