Have you ever seen a therapist?

[packrat]

I'm glad it went well Nash! When you mentioned the file cabinet, it reminded me of Bruce Almighty where Jim Carey opened up that filing cabinet and it just kept going and going and going.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I have gone through a lot of craziness in my life, most of the really horrible stuff before I was 16. I never saw an actual therapist, only the school counselor/social workers either for individual sessions or with my mother. When I started high school I had to switch counselors and the new counselor always had meetings and was not available. That pissed me off to no end and I stopped going.

I met my husband when we were in high school and ever since then he has been like my therapist. I have always relied on my family, friends, and myself since my disappointing experience in high school. Since then I have been able to work through any of my issues but if it ever came up where I felt myself getting beyond my own abilities I would certainly seek professional help.

I think people who seek help when they realize they may need it are being very responsible

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Nash, I am so happy for you! Finding the right therapist is so important and sounds like you have!

 

[lyra]

I'm so happy your appointment went well Nash!

 

[Nashville]

I'm glad it went well Nash! When you mentioned the file cabinet, it reminded me of Bruce Almighty where Jim Carey opened up that filing cabinet and it just kept going and going and going.

Hahaha! That pretty much sums it up!

 

[Shoopy]

I ended up having my appointment today.

I have to say, I loved it. I was so nervous going in, and a half box of tissues later I left the session feeling drained, but happy to have finally told someone what's been going on. The woman I'll be seeing is not a sit back and listen type, and I like that. She gave me a lot of great feedback as I was telling her what has been happening, and I felt a lot was drawn out of me that I'd never considered before. The only thing that scares me is the emphasis on dredging up the past... but I'm open to the process. I can't move forward in the future unless I confront the past.

Right now, my mind is like a giant file cabinet that's been knocked over by an elephant. Today I started filing things back in the right place haha

That's wonderful!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I am glad your appointment went so well!

I have not seen a therapist but have strongly considered it at a couple points in my life. If the issues had not resolved on their own within a reasonable time period -- a month or so -- then I would have gone to see someone for sure.

This thread brings to mind a quote from Sex and the City... Carrie was obsessing about Mr.Big or something and her friends eventually siad, "Look, we listened to you moan for one month, now you have to pay someone to do it!" Sometimes, you really do need someone to devote 100% of their time and attention to your issues without having to reciprocate. Therapists can do that whereas friends cannot.

Plus, our friends might be as screwed up as we are! How much help can they be in that case??

 

[diva rose]

I would like to clarify some of the stereotypes about 'therapy'. It is clear there is a lack of understanding of what therapy is really about.

As a health professional, I work closely with a variety of therapists (clinical/educational/health psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, family therapists etc). My sister and close friends are psychologists and social workers.

Many people seek therapy for various reasons and there are numerous types of therapy provided by various professionals. It doesn't matter how major or minor your concerns are - therapy is for everyone and not just for people suffering from depression or health issues. That is the biggest generalisation and stereotype that you should only get therapy if you have major issues or that therapy is for the weak. There is a huge negative connection to people receiving therapy. Someone who has a good understanding of therapy and human mind/behaviour development would not see it as negative but as an evolving/learning process.

Receiving/seeking therapy is NOT weakness. It takes courage to seek therapy and actually apply changes to your life.
It shows strength and determination - so Nash - good on you!

Therapy can help with all aspects of life e.g. you might be a workaholic, an over achiever, behaviour management of children/family/partner, losing/gaining weight, quitting a habit such as smoking or just simply needing some clarification in your life.

For those of you seeking advice from close friends/family, it's great you have people to talk to/listen - a support network. However therapy is not about someone giving you advice or just listening. Also when you talk to your close ones (unless they are a trained professional), they will place their own opinions, their own life experiences etc.

The problem is therapy doesn't get the recognition it deserves. The therories/methods used in therapy are evidenced based practices and there are strict guidelines how to approach/deliver these. It's not an easy job and something anyone can do.There is a reason why qualified therapists usually have 6 or more years of training.

From my knowledge from the therapists I have worked with - when therapy isn't successful it is usually one of the following:

1. you were not fully ready to make changes as recommended by your therapist or had difficulties making those changes

or/and

2. the therapist was not the right person for you or the therapy method wasn't right for you.

Like all types of therapy - rapport is essential. You have to have trust and good rapport with the therapist.

Do we have a qualified therapist PSer? It would be interesting to see his/her perspective.

 

[mousey]

Nashvile I can completely understand your position. I have been thinking about seeking help for a while. I just don t seem to be able to handle certain situations very well at the moment, situations that would not phase me a year ago. That coupled with the fact that I pretty much always have a cold, and can t seem to get joy out of the things that used to make me happy makes me think that therapy might do me the world of good.
In fact, every time I blow up over a small incident with a friend/family member, or find myself thinking really horrible things about myself I promise to get an appointment. This thread has made want to pick up the phone and just do it. I wonder what makes this decision so hard.... I have never had any negative preconceptions about therapy, and have even had a little when I was much younger. Maybe its the fact that when you tell someone about it, then you finally have to admit its a problem, and you are having difficulty coping with it!
Kenny- I love all you posts! And I think you are super cool!

 

[Nashville]

Nashvile I can completely understand your position. I have been thinking about seeking help for a while. I just don t seem to be able to handle certain situations very well at the moment, situations that would not phase me a year ago. That coupled with the fact that I pretty much always have a cold, and can t seem to get joy out of the things that used to make me happy makes me think that therapy might do me the world of good.
In fact, every time I blow up over a small incident with a friend/family member, or find myself thinking really horrible things about myself I promise to get an appointment. This thread has made want to pick up the phone and just do it. I wonder what makes this decision so hard.... I have never had any negative preconceptions about therapy, and have even had a little when I was much younger. Maybe its the fact that when you tell someone about it, then you finally have to admit its a problem, and you are having difficulty coping with it!
Kenny- I love all you posts! And I think you are super cool!

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm so grateful for most of the replies I received here. You're right, it's NOT easy. I knew it was something I needed to do for the past 3 years, and every day I'd put it off and try to work it out on my own. I would think "How dare you even think about going to a therapist, there are people in the world with REAL problems, just get over it, stop being a baby."

That was the worst thing I could have done, and I'm glad I had enough of a moment of clarity to say that ok, even if I perceived I didn't deserve help, doesn't my daughter at least deserve a healthy mother? She was a great source of motivation.

I don't know why I thought getting to see someone would take so long. I went online to my insurance company's list of doctors in my network, and picked a few names, called the offices and asked if they were accepting new patients. Probably the hardest thing once I decided on a doctor was saying out loud to the receptionist "I have a problem with anxiety" (they ask why you are seeking therapy). I was pleasantly surprised at how fast I was able to be seen.

Just remind yourself that even if you don't totally believe it right now, you deserve to be happy and have joy in your life.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Nashvile I can completely understand your position. I have been thinking about seeking help for a while. I just don t seem to be able to handle certain situations very well at the moment, situations that would not phase me a year ago. That coupled with the fact that I pretty much always have a cold, and can t seem to get joy out of the things that used to make me happy makes me think that therapy might do me the world of good.
In fact, every time I blow up over a small incident with a friend/family member, or find myself thinking really horrible things about myself I promise to get an appointment. This thread has made want to pick up the phone and just do it. I wonder what makes this decision so hard.... I have never had any negative preconceptions about therapy, and have even had a little when I was much younger. Maybe its the fact that when you tell someone about it, then you finally have to admit its a problem, and you are having difficulty coping with it!
Kenny- I love all you posts! And I think you are super cool!

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm so grateful for most of the replies I received here. You're right, it's NOT easy. I knew it was something I needed to do for the past 3 years, and every day I'd put it off and try to work it out on my own. I would think "How dare you even think about going to a therapist, there are people in the world with REAL problems, just get over it, stop being a baby."

That was the worst thing I could have done, and I'm glad I had enough of a moment of clarity to say that ok, even if I perceived I didn't deserve help, doesn't my daughter at least deserve a healthy mother? She was a great source of motivation.

I don't know why I thought getting to see someone would take so long. I went online to my insurance company's list of doctors in my network, and picked a few names, called the offices and asked if they were accepting new patients. Probably the hardest thing once I decided on a doctor was saying out loud to the receptionist "I have a problem with anxiety" (they ask why you are seeking therapy). I was pleasantly surprised at how fast I was able to be seen.

Just remind yourself that even if you don't totally believe it right now, you deserve to be happy and have joy in your life.

I agree that getting started is often one of the hardest parts. I put off therapy for years, even though I knew I needed, even though the people closest to me told me that it would be a great help for me and after professionals recommended it to me. Even recently, when I returned from an open ended trip, I put off calling my therapist to resume the sessions for weeks. Yet, every time, after I picked up the phone and made the calls, I surprised myself with how easy it was. My sneaky method was to call outside office hours and leave a message. Much easier for me to manage and my therapist is great about returning calls. Of course, once he called back I had to pick up the phone and talk to him, so no way out. Aren't the little ways we fool ourselves curious?

 

[AGBF]

Do we have a qualified therapist PSer? It would be interesting to see his/her perspective.

There are tons of us, probably almost as many as there are lawyers. We come in all flavors. Marian (Rising Sun) is a Licensed Counselor. Crasru is a psychiatrist and, thus, a medical doctor who can also prescribe medication. Dreamer is a Ph.D. psychologist. There are many MSW social workers like me, but I don't know which of them are still posting after the transition to PS 2. I hope they will shout out that they are still here in this thread as will all the other psychotherapists who don't wish to remain anonymous.

Deb/AGBF

 

[risingsun]

I would like to clarify some of the stereotypes about 'therapy'. It is clear there is a lack of understanding of what therapy is really about.

As a health professional, I work closely with a variety of therapists (clinical/educational/health psychologists, social workers, psychiatrists, family therapists etc). My sister and close friends are psychologists and social workers.

Many people seek therapy for various reasons and there are numerous types of therapy provided by various professionals. It doesn't matter how major or minor your concerns are - therapy is for everyone and not just for people suffering from depression or health issues. That is the biggest generalisation and stereotype that you should only get therapy if you have major issues or that therapy is for the weak. There is a huge negative connection to people receiving therapy. Someone who has a good understanding of therapy and human mind/behaviour development would not see it as negative but as an evolving/learning process.

Receiving/seeking therapy is NOT weakness. It takes courage to seek therapy and actually apply changes to your life.
It shows strength and determination - so Nash - good on you!

Therapy can help with all aspects of life e.g. you might be a workaholic, an over achiever, behaviour management of children/family/partner, losing/gaining weight, quitting a habit such as smoking or just simply needing some clarification in your life.

For those of you seeking advice from close friends/family, it's great you have people to talk to/listen - a support network. However therapy is not about someone giving you advice or just listening. Also when you talk to your close ones (unless they are a trained professional), they will place their own opinions, their own life experiences etc.

The problem is therapy doesn't get the recognition it deserves. The therories/methods used in therapy are evidenced based practices and there are strict guidelines how to approach/deliver these. It's not an easy job and something anyone can do.There is a reason why qualified therapists usually have 6 or more years of training.



From my knowledge from the therapists I have worked with - when therapy isn't successful it is usually one of the following:

1. you were not fully ready to make changes as recommended by your therapist or had difficulties making those changes

or/and

2. the therapist was not the right person for you or the therapy method wasn't right for you.

Like all types of therapy - rapport is essential. You have to have trust and good rapport with the therapist.

Do we have a qualified therapist PSer? It would be interesting to see his/her perspective.

Thank you for your post, diva rose. It will save me from covering all of the same ground. As AGBF said, I am a Licensed Professional Counselor. I have been in the profession for ~20 years. I work from an intergrated perspective. That means I use the therapeutic approach, which is most likely to be beneficial to my client. I have an overarching theory of human behavior, but I don't place this on the client. We are trained in numerous different therapeutic approaches. If I don't feel competent to use a specific approach, I will refer the client to someone who is. The most important aspect of therapy to me is the establishment of rapport, in the beginning of the process. If a client is nervous or anxious, I take that material and work with it first. My goal is to establish a therapeutic alliance with my client, which is characterized by trust, safety, and empathy. Without these attributes, I am not able to help the client. I will work with clients on a short term basis for problem solving type concerns. The majority of my clients have been long term. We start out in one place and often find ourselves in another, as time passes. I let the client know that I am willing to go wherever they need to go. I also do not try to force them to examine material until they are ready. Preparing for readiness is part of what I do. Counselors are therapists and we have the right to practice independently and accept insurance payments.
We deal with a large range of problems, from mental illness [in collaboration with the client's psychiatrist and/or PCP] to incest, abuse, depression, bipolar, relationship issues, to self/attachment disorders. I have had clients credit me with saving their lives. What I have done, however, is given them the tools to save their own lives. When I need personal help, I see a therapist, too. Finding the therapist that is the "right fit" can be difficult. I believe, however, it is well worth the effort.

 

[AGBF]

Thank you for contributing that thoughtful posting to this thread, Marian. It was really (in my opinion) a comprehensive essay about how therapy should work in ideal circumstances!

Deb/AGBF

 

[risingsun]

Thank you for contributing that thoughtful posting to this thread, Marian. It was really (in my opinion) a comprehensive essay about how therapy should work in ideal circumstances!

Deb/AGBF

Thank you, Deb.

 

[Imdanny]

When you see one is there a way to tell?

 

[diva rose]

Thank you for contributing that thoughtful posting to this thread, Marian. It was really (in my opinion) a comprehensive essay about how therapy should work in ideal circumstances!

Deb/AGBF

Thank you, Deb.

Thank you for posting Marian & Deb!

I can usually tell during conversation if I'm talking to a therapist. They just know how to interact with you.

 

[risingsun]

Thank you for contributing that thoughtful posting to this thread, Marian. It was really (in my opinion) a comprehensive essay about how therapy should work in ideal circumstances!

Deb/AGBF

Thank you, Deb.

Thank you for posting Marian & Deb!

I can usually tell during conversation if I'm talking to a therapist. They just know how to interact with you.

As part of our graduate school training, we had courses in Counselor Formation, which stressed both personal and professional skills and how to integrate them. Counseling, IMO, can't just be a series of techniques. It has to come from within the trained professional, who has examined their own psyche. It has to have authenticity and that's not something you can fabricate. If it lacks authenticity, I think that the client will know it. If I'm not practicing in authentic way, i.e., using a technique that doesn't resonate with me, I certainly know it. If you feel heard, understood, respected and safe, you are on your way to finding a good therapist.

The last sentence was meant for Danny...

 

[risingsun]

When you see one is there a way to tell?

Please see my response in the above post.