Have you ever had this regret..

[Gemobsessed]

I know many of you like me like all kinds of colours in gems and setting them in beautiful rings... I just recently had two rings made. Both are really beautiful, truly magnificent. But somehow when I got my newest one made, I felt less interested in the one I got made two months ago. Now I keep thinking it’s too big (11 mm) and I can’t really wear it out much because I’m a very casual dresser and it’s too fabulous.

Basically what I’m asking is, do you ever feel bad about your previous projects because a new one is just so Perfect? And more wearable? I think I’m having trouble balancing expectations.

Ring 1

Ring 2

 

[marymm]

Well, I will say I think you nailed the perfect setting for each of those stones!

I do have a few rings with extra-large colored gemstones, and I definitely wear them but not as often as some other CS rings I have that I find more "wearable" (which I define as, easy and safe to wear when doing errands and while at work). For me, if I love the ring, it is okay that I only wear it 6-12 times a year, versus other rings that I may wear 50 times a year.

And, I think it is natural that a brand-new ring is a new favorite, pushing out anything else.

But if you think your preferences have realigned and you know you'll never reach for an 11mm CS ring, then it is okay to let it go.

Now, as an related aside, I love the setting your green stone (is it a mint tourmaline or mint garnet?) is in ... can you share deets on that?

 

[Gemobsessed]

Well, I will say I think you nailed the perfect setting for each of those stones!

I do have a few rings with extra-large colored gemstones, and I definitely wear them but not as often as some other CS rings I have that I find more "wearable" (which I define as, easy and safe to wear when doing errands and while at work). For me, if I love the ring, it is okay that I only wear it 6-12 times a year, versus other rings that I may wear 50 times a year.

And, I think it is natural that a brand-new ring is a new favorite, pushing out anything else.

But if you think your preferences have realigned and you know you'll never reach for an 11mm CS ring, then it is okay to let it go.

Now, as an related aside, I love the setting your green stone (is it a mint tourmaline or mint garnet?) is in ... can you share deets on that?

Thank you for sharing your perspective, it’s really very helpful. I frankly feel I’m not a fabulous dresser like my large ring deserves!

The green is a Tourmaline actually but shines as brightly as my green garnet! It’s 7.5mm cut in arya akhavans “ void weaver” cut and I had it set in a custom made ring made by my local jeweler. It’s not a mint actually it’s texhnically a blue green colour. Here is a photo of the rough to give you an idea.

 

[marymm]

Thank you for the info - that rough is gorgeous!

And, re your 11mm Tourmaline ... for me, I'd happily sport it wearing jeans and a black or white (or any color!) Tee, or with black skinnies and a button-down ... I don't think it *demands* a fancy dress occasion though for certain it is special and glamorous and definitely appropriate for formal/dressy events.

But it is how you feel about the 11mm ring ... if you consider it "fancy" then perhaps you won't reach for it. Sometimes I put a ring on "time out" and if I don't reach for it (or consider reaching for it) even once in, say, 6 months, then for me it isn't a necessity that it remain in my jewelry collection.

 

[elle_71125]

I think it's perfectly normal to have changing feelings regarding your rings.
Every time I get a new ring, it instantly becomes my new favorite. I wear it non stop. Then, the "new" wears off and I start wearing my other rings too. I love having many different choices. I have my "fancy" paraiba ring that I only wear on special occasions and my little flower paraiba that I wear all the time.

Some rings feel more fancy and you just wear them during more dressed up situations. A night on the town, a play, a Holiday dinner. If you still love the color (and it is a fantastic color), I'd say keep it and let it find its way into rotation naturally.

 

[Cockatiel]

Umm that is the story of my life. I've reset several stones, some more than once, taking a financial hit. Also bc I went custom and the stones were noncalibrated sizes I couldnt even reuse the settings. I had to melt them for like crap value. My taste changed and I am a lot more picky about certain design elements so that wad inevitable.

 

[Cockatiel]

By the way your rings are both fabulous! Just put the pink one aside for a few months and then take it out again so it feels brand new again!

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Your pink tourmaline ring is fabulous (as well as your blue/green tourmaline ring) but I understand how you feel. Maybe your tastes are changing a bit and maybe you will feel differently in time. If you do decide to sell your pink tourmaline ring it will go fast and make someone else very happy.

 

[2Neezers]

Both of your rings are beautiful . I have a similar problem in that I love my stones when they are loose, but not as much once I set them. I think I haven’t quite found my setting style yet. You picked the perfect settings for both of your stones. They are very different looks from one another, and maybe you are finding your everyday style preference leans more toward the tourmaline, but I would still keep the garnet at a statement piece, it’s gorgeous!

 

[SparkliesLuver]

I second everyone's comments that you did very well designing each ring. They're both beautiful! And holy ^&#%, that piece of rough! Love it.

I will say that when I started out, the stone had to be 10mm or above (because I have large hands). It was all about size for me. My first stone was a 11.1mm green-blue tourmaline. It's a ring I still love but rarely gets worn because it sits up high and I'm afraid of banging it. As I hung around PS more and learned a lot more, I realized color was most important to me and size moved way, way, way down the list. Now I appreciate 1-5mm stones with vivid color that I wouldn't have even looked at before. I also love smaller stones because they're much more wearable. So my tastes have definitely changed over the years and it hasn't even been that many years. hahaha However, I'm keeping what I have because I love the stones themselves, and I always design my rings around the stones which makes me fall in love with them in a whole other way.

My advice is to keep stuff for now and, like others have said, rotate different rings in and out. Let some time go by and see if absence makes the heart grow fonder or if you legitimately never reach for a certain ring. Also, see if there's a place in your life for more of a statement ring. Time will give you some answers, I think. And in the meantime, enjoy wearing whichever one(s) you pick!

 

[Gemobsessed]

I think it's perfectly normal to have changing feelings regarding your rings.
Every time I get a new ring, it instantly becomes my new favorite. I wear it non stop. Then, the "new" wears off and I start wearing my other rings too. I love having many different choices. I have my "fancy" paraiba ring that I only wear on special occasions and my little flower paraiba that I wear all the time.

Some rings feel more fancy and you just wear them during more dressed up situations. A night on the town, a play, a Holiday dinner. If you still love the color (and it is a fantastic color), I'd say keep it and let it find its way into rotation naturally.

Hi Elle,
I think that’s true! Even when I got the big pink Tourmaline ring I wore it with whatever clothes I had on Just because it was new and I wanted to. It’s just that it’s big and I got worried that it’s looking strange that I stopped.

 

[Gemobsessed]

Thank you for the info - that rough is gorgeous!

And, re your 11mm Tourmaline ... for me, I'd happily sport it wearing jeans and a black or white (or any color!) Tee, or with black skinnies and a button-down ... I don't think it *demands* a fancy dress occasion though for certain it is special and glamorous and definitely appropriate for formal/dressy events.

But it is how you feel about the 11mm ring ... if you consider it "fancy" then perhaps you won't reach for it. Sometimes I put a ring on "time out" and if I don't reach for it (or consider reaching for it) even once in, say, 6 months, then for me it isn't a necessity that it remain in my jewelry collection.

I love the idea of a time out. Yes I do need to see what happens when I put it away and check if I reach for it enough

 

[Gemobsessed]

Umm that is the story of my life. I've reset several stones, some more than once, taking a financial hit. Also bc I went custom and the stones were noncalibrated sizes I couldnt even reuse the settings. I had to melt them for like crap value. My taste changed and I am a lot more picky about certain design elements so that wad inevitable.

I think I want to reach where you are and really know what I want. I had that pink Tourmaline for a year and couldn’t bear the thought of selling it. I’ve till date never found anything like it and I have bought many pinks. So I thought I may as well set it and I spent a fortune. Now I find myself looking at Only small gems.

 

[Gemobsessed]

I second everyone's comments that you did very well designing each ring. They're both beautiful! And holy ^&#%, that piece of rough! Love it.

I will say that when I started out, the stone had to be 10mm or above (because I have large hands). It was all about size for me. My first stone was a 11.1mm green-blue tourmaline. It's a ring I still love but rarely gets worn because it sits up high and I'm afraid of banging it. As I hung around PS more and learned a lot more, I realized color was most important to me and size moved way, way, way down the list. Now I appreciate 1-5mm stones with vivid color that I wouldn't have even looked at before. I also love smaller stones because they're much more wearable. So my tastes have definitely changed over the years and it hasn't even been that many years. hahaha However, I'm keeping what I have because I love the stones themselves, and I always design my rings around the stones which makes me fall in love with them in a whole other way.

My advice is to keep stuff for now and, like others have said, rotate different rings in and out. Let some time go by and see if absence makes the heart grow fonder or if you legitimately never reach for a certain ring. Also, see if there's a place in your life for more of a statement ring. Time will give you some answers, I think. And in the meantime, enjoy wearing whichever one(s) you pick!

I also started out thinking high and big wasn’t a problem for me! I think we were in the same place. You are right I will give it time, it’s brand new right now. And it is a statement piece even if I don’t wear it much so definitely something special. I can wear on special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries..

I’m incredibly curious to see your huge green blue tourmaline! Could you share the thread or pic?

 

[Gemobsessed]

Both of your rings are beautiful . I have a similar problem in that I love my stones when they are loose, but not as much once I set them. I think I haven’t quite found my setting style yet. You picked the perfect settings for both of your stones. They are very different looks from one another, and maybe you are finding your everyday style preference leans more toward the tourmaline, but I would still keep the garnet at a statement piece, it’s gorgeous!

Thank you for your kind compliments! It’s a Tourmaline actually and not a garnet and quite a rare colour at that. It’s why I couldn’t bear the thought of not setting it

 

[Cockatiel]

I think I want to reach where you are. I had that pink Tourmaline for a year and couldn’t bear the thought of selling it. I’ve till date never found anything like it and I have bought many pinks. So I thought I may as well set it and I spent a fortune. Now I find myself looking at Only small gems.

Your pink tourmaline ring is so fabulous! I don't even like tourmaline in general (because I am so not careful with stones and rings in general and I feel like I could chip them by just looking at them) but both your rings are exceptional. I don't think you should regret it. So unique, and you won't easily find another one with that quality, or a finished ring of that overall fineness...beauty...caliber? I don't know what the appropriate word is here. I totally know what you mean about smaller gems too. They are good for everyday wear, and also for variety's sake!

 

[Gemobsessed]

Your pink tourmaline ring is fabulous (as well as your blue/green tourmaline ring) but I understand how you feel. Maybe your tastes are changing a bit and maybe you will feel differently in time. If you do decide to sell your pink tourmaline ring it will go fast and make someone else very happy.

Thank you Lisa I will give it time but to be honest selling it is not an option for me. I don’t think I can send Jewellery by post the way you guys can in the US. Singapore post won’t take it and I haven’t found anyone who will to be honest.

My only option with this ring is to recut the stone into a smaller one- maybe 9 mm. That seems to be my limit. And then reuse the same setting. I feel bad about even saying this because if will be expensive and the stone will lose some value in the process’s. Plus there is a risk involved. But ill think carefully before I do that.

Has anyone here done such a thing before? I’d like to hear your advice on recut as a solution.

 

[Gemobsessed]

Your pink tourmaline ring is so fabulous! I don't even like tourmaline in general (because I am so not careful with stones and rings in general and I feel like I could chip them by just looking at them) but both your rings are exceptional. I don't think you should regret it. So unique, and you won't easily find another one with that quality, or a finished ring of that overall fineness...beauty...caliber? I don't know what the appropriate word is here. I totally know what you mean about smaller gems too. They are good for everyday wear, and also for variety's sake!

You are very kind
Thank you for such a comforting comment. I do wonder why the regret. Gems and jewellery cannot be Perfect all the time. I think I’m just being fussy.

 

[Cockatiel]

Thank you Lisa I will give it time but to be honest selling it is not an option for me. I don’t think I can send Jewellery by post the way you guys can in the US. Singapore post won’t take it and I haven’t found anyone who will to be honest.

My only option with this ring is to recut the stone into a smaller one- maybe 9 mm. That seems to be my limit. And then reuse the same setting. I feel bad about even saying this because if will be expensive and the stone will lose some value in the process’s. Plus there is a risk involved. But ill think carefully before I do that.

Has anyone here done such a thing before? I’d like to hear your advice on recut as a solution.

OMG don't do that....that just feels wrong...you know. To spend money and to assume lots of risks to end up with a smaller stone, and the results are not even guaranteed. You might not even be able to reuse that setting. On top of the possible damage to the stone, the setting may be messed up too when the jeweler fiddles with it. It doesn't look like you can just replace the head easily or something. And as far as my past experience goes, the recutter might not be able to give you an exactly 9mm stone either...I'm clueless about tourmaline but isn't it also terribly dichroic, and a drastic recut might change the perceived color or something?

 

[Gemobsessed]

OMG don't do that....that just feels wrong...you know. To spend money and to assume lots of risks to end up with a smaller stone, and the results are not even guaranteed. You might not even be able to reuse that setting. On top of the possible damage to the stone, the setting may be messed up too when the jeweler fiddles with it. It doesn't look like you can just replace the head easily or something. And as far as my past experience goes, the recutter might not be able to give you an exactly 9mm stone either...I'm clueless about tourmaline but isn't it also terribly dichroic, and a drastic recut might change the perceived color or something?

Oh I didn’t even consider that colour may change and setting may get messed up.. damn ok you’re right, bad idea!

 

[Gloria27]

Two rings, two hands... I don't see the problem!
Gorgeous pieces btw.

 

[Bron357]

Absolutely stunning.
In my opinion “too big” is when you can’t lift your hand!
If I feel like it I wear my hugest pieces even if I’m walking the dogs in my $10 gym pants !
So pop that stunner of a ring on your finger and enjoy it.

 

[Gemobsessed]

Two rings, two hands... I don't see the problem!
Gorgeous pieces btw.

Absolutely stunning.
In my opinion “too big” is when you can’t lift your hand!
If I feel like it I wear my hugest pieces even if I’m walking the dogs in my $10 gym pants !
So pop that stunner of a ring on your finger and enjoy it.

Thank you guys! Here’s a couple of comparison pics in bad indoor lighting. My husband bemused as he was took the pics for me to try and help me decide what’s better

 

[Cockatiel]

The only resetting option I would consider for the pink one is, personally, converting into a pendant if you think you will get a lot more wear out of it that way.

 

[ringo865]

^this! It'd make a fabulous pendant!

 

[Bron357]

Not too big, these are big....

 

[MissyBeaucoup]

I admire your blue green tourmaline very much, Gemobsessed. It is just perfect in every way! The pink tourmaline is also lovely and looks right on you.

I have different feelings about some of my rings and how wearable they are for everyday. My avatar ring is more for special occasions, and I have a couple that are rather small so they don’t spin much and are easier to manage at work. (I have one that is a large inexpensive stone and I decided it doesn’t work on my size 5 fingers.)

Your pink tourmaline suits you and I think it deserves a place in your jewelry rotation. And that color! Yum!

 

[ringo865]

Have you tried pointing the pink tourmaline the other way? I have a couple trillion rings, and always point the tips down toward my hand. Not sure why, but when I wear them with the point up, I think it looks "wrong" (obv, there is no right or wrong way). It might be a matter of visual perception or something.

I love how both of your stones look!! And your settings are just right for each of them

 

[Cockatiel]

Have you tried pointing the pink tourmaline the other way? I have a couple trillion rings, and always point the tips down toward my hand. Not sure why, but when I wear them with the point up, I think it looks "wrong" (obv, there is no right or wrong way). It might be a matter of visual perception or something.

I love how both of your stones look!! And your settings are just right for each of them

Or, tryy wearing it on middle or index fingers. I like to wear trillions and hearts that way. Feels very balanced.

 

[Gemobsessed]

The only resetting option I would consider for the pink one is, personally, converting into a pendant if you think you will get a lot more wear out of it that way.

I’ll consider it at some point. I don’t really wear pendants