Have you ever been bullied on the internet?

[Dancing Fire]

Lets hear your story?

 

[dk168]

Not bullied as such, however, I left a site as there were too many self-styled judges and executioners who disagreed with something I had done, and I felt I was publicly lynched. So I left, and felt much better afterwards, as I got increasingly bored with it over the years (I was there for over 4 years).

I used to run my own board, just one for chit chats, nothing serious, started off with joining by my personal invitations only, for some of the users to be dissatisfied with the way I ran it, as I would invite certain people to join. I got so fed up with the constant demand to change the run it was run, I handed over the running and administration to them, and walked off, while still webhosting it (I have a reseller account so that I can host multiple domains for my own use). Only pulled the plug on it when there was a major disagreements amongst different fractions within the users.

I do not avoid confrontations, online or off, however, I would walk away once I have decided enough is enough, as there is no point in beating a dead horse, and to lose sleep over some faceless keyboard warriors who do not know me.

DK

 

[kenny]

The same thing could happen to two people.
One may see it as bullying, and the other may not.

That makes is hard for me to answer the question.

 

[dk168]

I believe those with low self-esteem and confidence are more susceptible to being bullied.

I have learnt over the years to be true to myself, and to care less about what others may think of me and my actions.

DK

 

[Andelain]

Yes, to include attempted identity theft and online stalking. It didn't end well for the bully.

 

[TC1987]

I said some very true but very unpopular things about my community on city-data one time, and I still get verbally attacked, ridiculed, and PM-attacked whenever I say anything in that forum now. What I said was true, nonetheless, and the people who relocated came back on there and backed me up, saying they didn't take my advice and wish they had, because it was just as bad as, and exactly like, I said. But the supporters continue to ridicule and mock my words whenever I am on there. I find it amusing, not disturbing, because I'm the kind of person who doesn't say or do anything without thinking it through first. I don't care; they do. I'm just all whenever they start up with me again.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Yes, I was on a forum with a group of people that also interacted socially "in real life" - sort of an alumni group from my college. A group of girls went "mean girl" on me and started spreading lies about me, calling me a slut, and a lot of other weird stuff. It was hurtful because I had been a part of this group and was suddenly being ostracized and was truly afraid they would sabotage my job. I grew out of that group, quit posting on that forum, and actually had an out-of-the-blue apology a few years later from the girl who had started it all. I am Facebook "friends" with a few of these girls now, enjoy their posts, and wish them well, but I still remember being hurt by the situation.


Anyone who compares bullying now to back when we were children and says the kids just need self confidence or need to "fight back" with a punch, has not experienced bullying in the internet age where real life and cyber life are intertwined for most young people. The small taste I got as an adult is enough to tell me that the current problem is a completely new beast.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Not really. Not to the point of stalking or anything scary. If you've visited online forums long enough and you have strong opinions you will eventually attract certain types who show up at every opportunity to put you in your place. Which is why these days I stick to talking jewelry and cats for the most part, instead of religion and politics!

I am so thankful my life was blessedly internet-free until college. Kids today have it rough

 

[Nyc2chigal]

I believe those with low self-esteem and confidence are more susceptible to being bullied.

I have learnt over the years to be true to myself, and to care less about what others may think of me and my actions.

DK

Agreed 100%

 

[chrono]

No, not yet.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Yes. A former poster here found one of my DB listings and harassed me via email during a very difficult/sensitive period in my life. This poster also found me on another site and harassed me openly there as well. She did it here too. She was banned, but back in the day she would reincarnate frequently. Not sure if she's been around lately, I don't post too often these days.

 

[monarch64]

HH, I think that poster has been gone for a couple years now. Ugh, that person harassed a lot of people.

I've only had to deal with one person overstepping boundaries online, and they made it very personal and tried to hurt me and my family. We've never allowed that person to intimidate us and never will. Anger and disgust? Yes. Harassed? Yes. Feeling bullied or threatened? Absolutely not.

 

[SB621]

I believe those with low self-esteem and confidence are more susceptible to being bullied.

I have learnt over the years to be true to myself, and to care less about what others may think of me and my actions.

DK

Agreed 100%

+1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nyc2chigal]

I had an experience here. I definitely felt that it was bullying.
I won't go into too much detail because it would be very obvious to the person.

But their tone changed from nice to nasty in 2 seconds, and the only person in the wrong was them.

 

[LindyLoooo]

Double post, see below

 

[ruby59]

I remember the aol boards when they let in people using aim. Some actually went as far as to go through all of your posts there and anywhere else, collect as much information, and then try to find out where you lived. They would post your real name and address and call you in the middle of the night. I had a piece of jewelry for sale on the other board, and someone stalked me to the city I lived in. Thankfully I was careful, so they could not get any closer than that.

 

[LindyLoooo]

There was a mass exodus from another jewelry forum that started semi-recently. I left because the mods are very cliquey, you're either in the "in crowd" or you're not cool enough. I wouldn't call it bullying, just things like snide side comments, nasty PMs, and not commenting on threads of people they don't like in an obvious way. It doesn't bother me too much because as a grown, successful, professional you realize that stuff doesn't work on you anymore. Overall I ended up feeling bad for those people, individuals who act like that are often insecure and unhappy with their own lives. I've also met some really wonderful people in online communities, so it has been very worth it!

 

[Niel]

Bullied? I dunno. I said that once and promptly got a "put your big boy pants on" speech from some PSers.

Somebody going out of their way to be rude on a number of occasions? Oh sure. Its the internet.

 

[LtypeI]

I usually stick to the pearls board, but this question resonated with me. I wouldn't call it bullying, but I've experienced a situation exactly like what LindyLoooo described. It extended to more weirdness that intruded a bit into my personal life, so I removed myself from the situation (actually, I ended up being banned after being absent from the community for a while, but was never told why and wasn't interested enough to seek an explanation). I also had the same reaction - I tend to pity people who engage in that kind of behavior rather than being bothered by them. Some people put too much value in their online "popularity," and care too much about appearing aloof or cool to people they don't actually know. Or maybe they want to relive their high school days and want to be the "mean girls." I have an actual life, so that doesn't get to me at all, but it did make me a bit sad that what had been a fun online community became such a bad place.

 

[LindyLoooo]

Ltypel, I couldn't agree with you more. Why worry about jewelry forum popularity at the expense of being a kind human being? I think this relates to the karma thread. The meanest of the mean girls was pretty much booted from PS and retreated to her own corner of the internet, c'est la vie....

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

Bullied? No. But. I also generally avoid conflict and argument.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

HH, I think that poster has been gone for a couple years now. Ugh, that person harassed a lot of people.

I've only had to deal with one person overstepping boundaries online, and they made it very personal and tried to hurt me and my family. We've never allowed that person to intimidate us and never will. Anger and disgust? Yes. Harassed? Yes. Feeling bullied or threatened? Absolutely not.

I recall that situation and I think the same thing happened to a few others. Scary.

 

[movie zombie]

I participate on a forum that is 99.9% male......so, yes, there is a tendency to bully more often than not when it comes to particular off topic issues............I have been on the receiving end of that but more often than not I find someone sends me a PM in support. i also find the report button to be useful should i need it. often i do not....if i respond with common sense i often am able to turn it around on the bully to make that person look like an absolute ass.

 

[monarch64]

HH, I think that poster has been gone for a couple years now. Ugh, that person harassed a lot of people.

I've only had to deal with one person overstepping boundaries online, and they made it very personal and tried to hurt me and my family. We've never allowed that person to intimidate us and never will. Anger and disgust? Yes. Harassed? Yes. Feeling bullied or threatened? Absolutely not.

I recall that situation and I think the same thing happened to a few others. Scary.

There's a book called The Sociopath Next Door. Very scary, indeed.

 

[athenaworth]

This happened to me a long time ago and I was shocked by the flock mentality that happened when I was cyber bullied. One person made a comment about my infertility issues, which I was knee deep in at the time, and I guess to someone who wasn’t going through what I was it seemed like a funny comment so everyone started trying to one-up that commentor by saying even worse and more vile things. It amazed me to what lengths they went to do put me down. I had to leave the group (obviously) but months later I would go back just to see what happened to the topic and it was still being brought up. It was like beating someone to death and coming back to piss on their body. At least that’s how it felt to me.

 

[monarch64]

Athenaworth, that's horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

 

[athenaworth]

Meh, it's OK. I was very sensitive at the time so that made matters worse. But it certainly made me learn to grow a little thicker skin (even though my skin is still pretty thin from time to time).

 

[ruby59]

Anyone who would even think that infertility if "funny" has a lot more problems that can be dealt with here. My SIL went through the same thing, so I know how sensitive an issue it is It is best to give a wide berth around sadists, imo.

 

[Sky56]

Yes, I was a Moderator and helped run a large website that was not related to PS subject matter. There was a very rude member who made good posts about the subject at hand and knew a lot and shared knowledge, but was also extremely aggressive, quick to anger and bullied forum members. The language used was extremely disturbing and I actually found the person scary. When I banned the person from the forum, all hell broke loose. On-line harassment. I won't go into details but it was so disturbing that I left the website and do not post at any forums that focus on that subject matter. I will only post on forums such as this with good Admins and Mods and a respectful member base.

 

[Indylady]

Hmnn--yes, but not as seriously as some as described. I recently had one poster here that seemed to develop a personal animus towards me, and took a comment I made to a different poster as a basis to launch a character attack on me. It was shocking to me, because I've been on the board for about six years now, and reading for longer, without much incident. A disagreement on the merits of the topic wouldn't have been so surprising, but the personal comments certainly were.