Has anyone replied your ring is ugly?

[Kilops]

Everyone on PS is so nice to all the posts regardless of the diamonds or rings posted. Has anyone ever replied to a thread that their diamond or ring is ugly? Its hard to gauge how a ring actually looks when no one negative replies and all replies are positive... Most of the rings I have seen are fairly decent looking, which is good but soliciting critiques from only people who love your ring will never receive criticisms.

 

[AmeliaG]

I'd smack them if they said my ring was ugly. Once someone is showing off their ring, its not called for. Now if they're choosing between two styles before they buy, then MAYBE, I would say, 'I don't like this ring because of xyz"

But after they get it? Absolutely not.

 

[Kilops]

But after they get it? Absolutely not.

From the sound of this, it seems like you are deliberately hiding your opinion just to make them happy with their purchases. I would want people to judge on my purchases before AND after to ensure that I have no buyer's remorse.I mean if I bought a half broken down Kia Rio and everyone who couldn't afford a car told me how awesome it is and others who have better cars just dont voice their opinions, how would I know if this was a decent purchase given my budget? Wouldn't you want people to tell you "for the amount of money you spent, you could have gotten XXX because your car is worse than the average (given the budget)." This will at least tell the purchaser that he should either (A) get a refund and rebuy or (B) seek opportunities in the future to replace/upgrade the purchase. Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

 

[MonkeyPie]

If they find PS, they can post a diamond link and get an opinion before we buy, but no one ever says a diamond is UGLY when someone is considering purchasing it. That's just rude. Pointing out that they can get better for their money is entirely different.

 

[Haven]

Kilops--What you've noticed is a part of the dominant culture here on PS.

The SMTB forum is all about celebrating the jewelry we were given or chose to purchase. It isn't the place to elicit or offer criticism about pieces. If you only post in SMTR, you won't get critical feedback because it will be considered rude in that particular situation.

If you want to know whether you made a good purchase, you can always explicitly solicit that information in a thread in RT. PSers will be HAPPY to weigh in on your purchase if you ask for our feedback. In fact, it happens quite a lot. You haven't seen any of those threads?

I can tell you that I do not personally hide my opinions about people's pieces in order to make them happy with their purchases. There is a really easy way to get around that: If a particular piece shared in SMTB doesn't strike my fancy, I simply don't post anything in that thread. Problem solved! That's the great thing about PS--posting isn't compulsory. You don't have to lie or sugarcoat anything.

 

[AmeliaG]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

Not if the car keeps breaking down, he wouldn't.

If people are unsure of their purchase and voice a concern, I'd give my honest opinion. But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

ETA: Ditto Haven! I don't think this is just the dominant culture here. I belong to an artists site and they have a critiques forum and a show and tell corner. Everybody knows where to critique and where to give kudos. Some people don't like to critique so they stay out of the critique forum; others don't like to just praise works of art so they stay out of the show and tell forum. No problems, really.

 

[minmin001]

I feel we all have our personal taste. if someone is showing off their new jewelery and I don't think it suits my taste, I simply wouldn't say anything. (why would someone take the time to show off something they are not happy with) unless the topic says unsure about this piece, please help to decide to return it or not...blah blah~
I know it is easy to say things since we are over the internet, but I'd rather follow the "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all" rule~

 

[Kilops]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

This provides a false utopia where "if you have nothing good to say, dont say anything at all". When you buy things on amazon, dont you look at the negative reviews/comments? A consensus opinion either encourages or deters future purchases. If everyone on amazon only posted when their product is good and just neglected to post when their product is in poor quality, there wouldn't be a point in reading the reviews. Maybe I'm a bit pessimestic but I just think there needs to be critiques to make the kudos meaningful- i.e. good does not exist without evil and vice versa.

 

[Pandora II]

There used to be an 'Ugly' rings thread that I used to go and look at when I needed cheering up - it wasn't of PSers rings but of random monstrosities. I don't know what happened to it but there were some classics!

If you want to see critiques, hang-out in the Coloured Stone section. People give their honest opinions there while the decision process is going on. Once a piece is bought and the owner is happy then compliments only. Often people will say I like it, but I'm not sure, I have a week to return and at that point it is fine to give an opinion.

 

[ForteKitty]

would you tell someone their fiancee is ugly? isn't it all a matter of taste?

 

[merilenda]

If you're looking at reviews on Amazon, I'm assuming you're still in the process of making a purchase decision. I don't see any point whatsoever in telling someone that a diamond/ring that they've already purchased is ugly. (A) That's rude, and (B) It's a matter of personal taste.

What's the point in telling someone that you don't like their jewelry? Is it productive for anyone? I agree with what others have said - it's one thing to offer an opinion when asked pre-purchase. But once the purchase is made, either play nice or if something doesn't suit your taste, stay quiet. Because it's a done deal at that point.

 

[slg47]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

This provides a false utopia where "if you have nothing good to say, dont say anything at all". When you buy things on amazon, dont you look at the negative reviews/comments? A consensus opinion either encourages or deters future purchases. If everyone on amazon only posted when their product is good and just neglected to post when their product is in poor quality, there wouldn't be a point in reading the reviews. Maybe I'm a bit pessimestic but I just think there needs to be critiques to make the kudos meaningful- i.e. good does not exist without evil and vice versa.

as Haven said...on PS RT is the place for critiques and SMTB is the place for kudos. I think it's nice that we have somewhere where people can just show off their pieces without being worried that someone will call it 'ugly'.

 

[yssie]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

This provides a false utopia where "if you have nothing good to say, dont say anything at all". When you buy things on amazon, dont you look at the negative reviews/comments? A consensus opinion either encourages or deters future purchases. If everyone on amazon only posted when their product is good and just neglected to post when their product is in poor quality, there wouldn't be a point in reading the reviews. Maybe I'm a bit pessimestic but I just think there needs to be critiques to make the kudos meaningful- i.e. good does not exist without evil and vice versa.

Well, sure... but rings on SMTB aren't for sale. As merilenda says.

Plenty of critiquing - workmanship, stone quality, photography, vendors and their policies on RT/CS. If someone posts a finished piece on RT and solicits opinions on any of those things they're going to get the good and the bad. SMTB is a different animal.

 

[Haven]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

This provides a false utopia where "if you have nothing good to say, dont say anything at all". When you buy things on amazon, dont you look at the negative reviews/comments? A consensus opinion either encourages or deters future purchases. If everyone on amazon only posted when their product is good and just neglected to post when their product is in poor quality, there wouldn't be a point in reading the reviews. Maybe I'm a bit pessimestic but I just think there needs to be critiques to make the kudos meaningful- i.e. good does not exist without evil and vice versa.

Your comparison between PS and Amazon just plain doesn't make any sense. We are not selling anything on PS. Comments in SMTR threads are not reviews.

 

[Kilops]

would you tell someone their fiancee is ugly? isn't it all a matter of taste?

Thats different because a fiancee treats the person a certain way-> an ugly fiancee could be very nice to the guy and a pretty fiancee could be mean to guy but an ugly diamond cant do anything that a pretty diamond cant do... other than remain ugly...

 

[ForteKitty]

I dont think it makes a difference. ugly is ugly. What if your fiancee thinks you're hot and everyone else disagrees? should they tell her?

 

[Amys Bling]

If you're looking at reviews on Amazon, I'm assuming you're still in the process of making a purchase decision. I don't see any point whatsoever in telling someone that a diamond/ring that they've already purchased is ugly. (A) That's rude, and (B) It's a matter of personal taste.

What's the point in telling someone that you don't like their jewelry? Is it productive for anyone? I agree with what others have said - it's one thing to offer an opinion when asked pre-purchase. But once the purchase is made, either play nice or if something doesn't suit your taste, stay quiet. Because it's a done deal at that point.

couldnt agree more.

 

[junebug17]

It would be very presumptuous of me to think that just because I may find a certain ring "ugly" that it indeed is - my opinion is just that, an opinion - all that really matters is that the owner of the piece likes it and is proud of it. A ring may not be my taste or style, but that doesn't mean it's ugly.

If someone posts a ring in SMTB it's obvious that the poster is proudly displaying a piece that he/she loves, so to say that it is ugly or otherwise criticize it would be extremely inappropriate and not well received by the PS community. On occasions where I really don't care for a ring or piece of jewelry, I will just not respond to that post.

If it's a post where opinions of a ring, diamond, CAD, etc. are specifically asked for, then I will voice my feelings tactfully and with respect. Again, what is to be gained by saying "omg, that's god-awful"? It's quite possible to offer an opinion or some constructive criticism without being insulting or mean.

There's enough cruelty in the world as it is - I don't think it's necessary to be mean or rude to someone over a piece of jewelry.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I remember once a poster (whom shall remain nameless!) felt like airing her opinion, totally unrestrained. It didn't end well for them . People tend to practice this thing called "kindness" when discussing and celebrating another person's diamond. Opinions are restricted to RT...SMTB is all about a job well done!

 

[Amys Bling]

would you tell someone their fiancee is ugly? isn't it all a matter of taste?

Thats different because a fiancee treats the person a certain way-> an ugly fiancee could be very nice to the guy and a pretty fiancee could be mean to guy but an ugly diamond cant do anything that a pretty diamond cant do... other than remain ugly...

an "ugly" diamond may have sentimentalityy behing it that makes the person happy.

 

[risingsun]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

This provides a false utopia where "if you have nothing good to say, dont say anything at all". When you buy things on amazon, dont you look at the negative reviews/comments? A consensus opinion either encourages or deters future purchases. If everyone on amazon only posted when their product is good and just neglected to post when their product is in poor quality, there wouldn't be a point in reading the reviews. Maybe I'm a bit pessimestic but I just think there needs to be critiques to make the kudos meaningful- i.e. good does not exist without evil and vice versa.

If you have some pieces that you would like to post and receive a candid critque, just say so in your post. That let's us know that you expect what may be less than complimentary feedback. In SMTB, unless someone makes this type of statement, assume they are not asking for a critique.

 

[fieryred33143]

Exactly what would be the point of telling someone who has made the purchase and loves it enough to "show off" that their ring is ugly?

In other words, what do you hope to gain from making that observation? I don't believe in wasting my time doing and saying things just for the sake of it or because I love hearing my own voice (as soothing as it may be).

 

[Kilops]

Plenty of critiquing - workmanship, stone quality, photography, vendors and their policies on RT/CS. If someone posts a finished piece on RT and solicits opinions on any of those things they're going to get the good and the bad. SMTB is a different animal.

In that case, SMTB mind as well be a photobucket where people display their pictures? It loses its purpose as a forum for people to post replies since its given already that the replies are going to be positive.

I didn't see anyone on RT say that their diamonds are ugly either. I've seen people voice which they like better given choices A and B but that doesn't tell the buyer after purchasing it if he should have buyer's remorse? The point of buyer's remorse is to ensure that he has made the right decision. How do you know you made the right decision? Or do diamond purchasers not care this is the right purchase after the purchase has been completed?

[I am assuming the wife is always indifferent about a particular stone and always wanting the best value given the budget... this reminds me of the HP Windows 7 computer ad on TV where the girl said "theres no computer out there better than mine" and then is proven wrong by a team of HP computer geeks who turned her house into a computer store...]

 

[AmeliaG]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

This provides a false utopia where "if you have nothing good to say, dont say anything at all". When you buy things on amazon, dont you look at the negative reviews/comments? A consensus opinion either encourages or deters future purchases. If everyone on amazon only posted when their product is good and just neglected to post when their product is in poor quality, there wouldn't be a point in reading the reviews. Maybe I'm a bit pessimestic but I just think there needs to be critiques to make the kudos meaningful- i.e. good does not exist without evil and vice versa.

Kilops, I think you're being purposely obtuse. As others have said, there are forums for critique and even in SMTB, if someone wants a second opinion, they can ask.

I'm much more of a critiquer than a kudos-giver but opinions are like a--holes, everyone has one. It doesn't mean every opinion is valid or even useful for the thread starter. There is a need for honest critiques but also for sharing your joy in things. No reason both needs can't co-exist - just not in the same thread.

 

[merilenda]

Kilops, your logic is...not strong. Yes, that's the point of SMTB, as quite a few people have stated. In RT, people do critique diamonds all the time. They may just offer a more constructive opinion than "the diamond is ugly."

What is the point of buyer's remorse? I mean, what good does it do ANYONE to regret a purchase? After a purchase is made, you should enjoy the piece you now have.

 

[Kilops]

There is a need for honest critiques but also for sharing your joy in things. No reason both needs can't co-exist - just not in the same thread.

Does this mean if I wanted to solicit opinion about a diamond/ring, I need to open two threads - one asking for the kudos and one asking for the critiques?

 

[risingsun]

Plenty of critiquing - workmanship, stone quality, photography, vendors and their policies on RT/CS. If someone posts a finished piece on RT and solicits opinions on any of those things they're going to get the good and the bad. SMTB is a different animal.

In that case, SMTB mind as well be a photobucket where people display their pictures? It loses its purpose as a forum for people to post replies since its given already that the replies are going to be positive.

I didn't see anyone on RT say that their diamonds are ugly either. I've seen people voice which they like better given choices A and B but that doesn't tell the buyer after purchasing it if he should have buyer's remorse? The point of buyer's remorse is to ensure that he has made the right decision. How do you know you made the right decision? Or do diamond purchasers not care this is the right purchase after the purchase has been completed?

I am assuming the wife is always indifferent about a particular stone and always wanting the best value given the budget... this reminds me of the HP Windows 7 computer ad on TV where the girl said "theres no computer out there better than mine" and then is proven wrong by a team of HP computer geeks who turned her house into a computer store...]

Sorry, but your train left you off at the wrong station!

 

[junebug17]

There is a need for honest critiques but also for sharing your joy in things. No reason both needs can't co-exist - just not in the same thread.

Does this mean if I wanted to solicit opinion about a diamond/ring, I need to open two threads - one asking for the kudos and one asking for the critiques?

You know, I think you're going out of your way to be difficult - yeah, open two threads. That's just fine.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Otherwise he'll always be thinking this is a awesome car!

Not if the car keeps breaking down, he wouldn't.

If people are unsure of their purchase and voice a concern, I'd give my honest opinion. But ugliness is in the eye of the beholder. I only comment on jewelry I like and I say why I like it so the compliments are genuine.

ETA: Ditto Haven! I don't think this is just the dominant culture here. I belong to an artists site and they have a critiques forum and a show and tell corner. Everybody knows where to critique and where to give kudos. Some people don't like to critique so they stay out of the critique forum; others don't like to just praise works of art so they stay out of the show and tell forum. No problems, really.

same with koi site,they have a "show and tell" and a "judge my koi forum"

 

[Haven]

It was a total waste of time responding to this thread. I think Amelia is right--you're clearly being purposely obtuse, Kilops.
There, now you have my opinion.