Guilt Over Ring

[soulsis]

Does anyone else avoid answering detailed questions about their ering?

My ring was created with love and a little extra $$ by trading in my old wedding set (princesses and baguettes). We didn''t really have to fork over any money. Some people have made comments about how big it is (this is Canada remember...home of 0.30 diamonds) and how he wasted his money on such a big ring. D feels really bad about not spending his own coin for it. I believe that the ring is a symbol...but just that...a symbol. Many don''t even wear an ering, yet does that make them any less in love?

 

[JohnQuixote]

Date: 5/8/2006 6:59:14 PM
Author:soulsis
Does anyone else avoid answering detailed questions about their ering?

My ring was created with love and a little extra $$ by trading in my old wedding set (princesses and baguettes). We didn't really have to fork over any money. Some people have made comments about how big it is (this is Canada remember...home of 0.30 diamonds) and how he wasted his money on such a big ring. D feels really bad about not spending his own coin for it. I believe that the ring is a symbol...but just that...a symbol. Many don't even wear an ering, yet does that make them any less in love?

When a man gives his wife a big bouquet of flowers does it mean he loves her more or less than when he gives her a single rose? No. It could depend on circumstance - big event versus 'just because' - it could just be what she likes, or it could represent what is meaningful between THEM. The point is, no one can say what is appropriate for your relationship and vice-versa. Your expression of love and commitment - incuding how you externalize it - is deeply personal. Whether you have no rings, or simple bands that you keep forever, or start with a 2ct whopper and upgrade yearly, there is no right or wrong: It is what it is.

If you are uncomfortable with questions just smile and say it's private. Either way, your personal decisions and expressions are just that. There is no reason to question them if you are both happy.

 

[OvalLover]

I don''t answer because it''s nobody''s business. Whenever anyone asks me a question like that in regards to my ring I simply ask, "Where''s yours?" It usually shuts them right on up. Too many times I''ve been asked if it''s fake or what he does for a living and I''ve come to the realization that more often than not it''s jealousy talking.

Seriously, how many people would turn down a big diamond? Really, people yammer on and on about "I''d kill him if he ever spent that much money because we have better things to spend it on." When the reality is that if he came home with it no questions asked you''d have to club them over the head to get it off their finger.

Even some that are *morally opposed* to diamonds sometimes have CZ''s so that it looks like they have a diamond.

 

[movie zombie]

john called it right: it is private...and i think D should not feel bad.

these ''folks'' are making crude comments and i think if i were to respond it would be along the lines of "you spend your $$ the way you want and we''ll do the same".

movie zombie

 

[Gypsy]

John you look just like (freaked me out) my best friend''s fiance.


As for Soulsis-- I know someone else how did that. I thought it was awesome. But really, it is NOBODY''S business. And it''s rude of them to even hint that your jewelry is a waste of money. Most people who say that are trying to justify their own .3 carats-- when they secretly wanted your ring. I have a very nice ring... average for where I live-- around a carat-- one of the girls at work has a 2 carat round and she gets weird comments all the time from spiteful people. Your probably just more sensitive to it because of the history.

Me, I''d flaunt it. But then, I''m contrary.

 

[ladykemma]

is this a northern / southern thang? because down here in texas, land of big rocks, people don''t seem to mind telling or asking details of a diamond purchase??????

have i noticed that it is the northerners who get their knickers in a tangle over this issue? curious...

 

[diamondfan]

I think it depends on the situation. I have had grocery checkers and salesgirls grab my hand and call people over to look at my ring. They ask how big it is and how much it cost. I just say I do not know, my dh picked it out. With a good friend, I answer questions that are asked if I feel comfortable. I live in a small community and we went to Tiffany''s to buy my first and second ring upgrades because we wanted to keep the talkative types from having things to talk about. I think it is reasonable to say that you aren''t comfortable or just make light of it in a way that feels okay to you...but never apologize or justify, it is no one''s business..

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/8/2006 8:57:42 PM
Author: ladykemma
is this a northern / southern thang? because down here in texas, land of big rocks, people don''t seem to mind telling or asking details of a diamond purchase??????

have i noticed that it is the northerners who get their knickers in a tangle over this issue? curious...

You know it might be? My aunt and my best friend live in TX and my god is that the land of large rocks!!! And when I was there I was asked questions all the time. In Northern Jersey and farther up... yeah, it is considered a bit rude I think. I''m from CA and out there there''s a difference between N CA and S CA attitudes too... but very open generally there. Although in general I think that few can do uptight like New Englanders (sorry to offend, just my experience). Over 4 carats is obscene up there if you have any class. Actually if you have ''real'' class anything over 2 carats for everyday is frown on from what I understand.