Great IDJ upgrade but Im regretting it...

[Miss Confused]

Long term poster going Anon for this since I feel embarrassed

Need your advice / wise words as I'm beating myself up and feeling like I made a mistake. To give you a brief synopsis I decided to upgrade my studs a couple of months ago. The old pair was a beautiful 0.97tcw f/g color and I had been happy with them until I got a pendant that was a J. While my favorite ring is an I but with it being on my hand the color difference with the earrings didnt bother me ; however, I discovered that the difference between pendant and earrings did annoy me. Additionally I had been wanting a certain ratio between pendant and earrings and the pendant was bigger than originally planned. So I figured no problem, I'll upgrade the size of my studs a bit and downgrade the color to match my other diamonds

As you pricescopers know, Yekutiel is absolutely amazing at finding beautiful diamonds and he gave me full credit for my old ones ( they were IDJ studs). I was originally thinking 1.4tcw or a little over, and when trying ones on in the store I was tempted by the 1.6tcw but felt that bigger than that was too much. Yekutiel then found an absolutly amazingly cut pair in the colour and clarity I wanted but that were 1.81tcw. the cut was so stunning I couldnt stop looking at them and I ended up getting them. I wore them out the store and felt giddy at how sparkly they were. Unfortunately it didn't take long for me to start to feel uncomfortable at the size, it was just bigger than I had planned and with the minimal setting and how sparkly they are they just feel too much. My pendant is 0.45ct and my solitaire is 1.1ct and now these studs are 1.81tcw...

I now feel so guilty that just 12h after buying them I regret it, tried sleeping on it and showing my mother the next morning which I shouldn't have done as she thinks they are way to big.

Sorry that this became long and rambly, would really appreciate any advice / kind words on this

 

[CTsparkle13]

I understand what your saying but I say enjoy them and flaunt those beautiful earrings. I have studs that are 1.2 tcw and would love to upgrade them to bigger. I also wear them everyday and would wear the larger size too.

 

[natasha-cupcake]

Give it a few days. If you're still uncomfortable, return them. It's okay to change your mind.

 

[LLJsmom]

It's fine to change your mind. But give yourself two weeks with these studs. If you are still not comfy then return it. But let Yekutiel know now so he can be ready for finding you another pair.

 

[pearaffair]

With some big and fancy stuff, it took me some time to get used to it and now I LOVE it. Others... I just never wear.

Which is this for you?

 

[KristinTech]

I would never ask my mom about my bling, she will ALWAYS tell me it’s “too much.” In the nicest possible way.

Wear them, take some pictures and video of you wearing them with real-life perspective shots. I bet they are gorgeous, and I bet you will get used to them! Don’t give up too fast, but it is nice to know that you can exchange. What’s the exchange window for this situation?

 

[Matilda]

Agree with others. Also do you wear your hair down or up more? Is it short or long?

 

[dkata]

I think you should wear the earrings for a few days, and decide only after it. I have 0,75 ct. in milgrain bezel setting, and I love them. The size of yours is bigger, but not substantionally.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I don't think they are too large in the overall scheme of things, but I personally like e-ring diamond to be the largest, pendant second largest, and studs equal or smaller than the pendant. Basically, in your case, I might go 1.1 ring, .80 pendant, .60 each studs, or even studs the same size as the pendant. But I personally wouldn't want my pendant at .45 with .90 each studs, so if I wanted to keep the studs, I'd want to upgrade the pendant to .90-1ct.

I think this would be my ideal, though:

1.1 ring, .80 pendant, .60 each studs

 

[marcy]

I would wear them for a few days and see if you change your mind. If not; change them in for something smaller.

 

[AprilBaby]

Shrinkage happens quickly.

 

[princessandthepear]

Why must diamonds shrink? Why can't it be my waist that shrinks after Thanksgiving?
Just kidding. Wear them for a week and see how you feel. But I do understand if you feel they are too big. I rarely wear my pear because it is too large compared to others in my social circle.

 

[junebug17]

Definitely give it a little time! I went from 1 to 1.81 too, and interestingly I had the opposite reaction, they looked smaller than expected! Your mother's criticism is probably in your head and it might be hard to get it out. Honestly, I think this is a really nice size, I feel they're not too big, not too little. But yes, as others have said, just exchange them if you continue to feel uncomfortable. No sense in keeping something you're not enjoying.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I bet they are beautiful - do you have any ear shots so we can see the size?

 

[yssie]

Are you uncomfortable with the earrings or with their pricetag?

If the former, I agree with previous posters - give it a couple of weeks. What's shocking at first can become "normal" shockingly quickly!

If the latter, return immediately and purchase something more mind-clean - in my experience this type of discomfort won't (and shouldn't) fade.

 

[cherij0411]

The bigger the better in my opinion

 

[Johnbt]

They're beautiful, right? Relax and let the people around you enjoy them.

You can't see them when you're wearing them.

 

[missy]

I’d give it some time to see if your perception changes. No rash decisions as long as you’re within your return exchange period. Give Yekutiel a heads up so you can feel better either way. This way if you do decide it’s not right for you it won’t be out of the blue. Good luck. I bet they are beautiful on you. But you have to love them and wear and enjoy them otherwise it doesn’t make sense.

 

[Miss Confused]

Thank you everyone!!!! You are really making me feel better. I'm traveling at the moment but will reply more in depth just wanted to say thank you

On the note of returning I don't actually know how that works in this situation. Normally you have 30 days but since I traded in my old pair and then paid the remainder I dontd know if that applies

 

[Austina]

I think you’ll be surprised at how quickly you get used to the size.

 

[Miss Confused]

ETA Whoops posted too quickly, normally I post from a laptop haha

Looking at them I think one of the issues is my piercings are not completely equal and this larger size makes the lhs droop ( already using the larger backs so not sure it can be fixed)

Additionally your point regarding what people around me wear is spot on. I'm not American so my earrings were already larger than normal ( friends and family wear 0.2 - 0.5tcw usually, only two American friends have larger than 1tcw) making me feel even more awkward

 

[bmfang]

To me, those studs look good on your ears.

 

[Austina]

I think they look a lovely wearable size.

 

[kmoro]

ETA Whoops posted too quickly, normally I post from a laptop haha

Looking at them I think one of the issues is my piercings are not completely equal and this larger size makes the lhs droop ( already using the larger backs so not sure it can be fixed)

Additionally your point regarding what people around me wear is spot on. I'm not American so my earrings were already larger than normal ( friends and family wear 0.2 - 0.5tcw usually, only two American friends have larger than 1tcw) making me feel even more awkward

I hate to say that I see what you mean about the droop on one side. It’s not the clearest shot, but it looks like one earring has no lobe showing under it while the other one does. Maybe it just needs to be tightened. Regardless, it’s very minor, so ...

I think they look beautiful on you, not too big, and that you should keep them!

 

[MarionC]

They look great and not too large at all, just the right proportion for you.
My piercings are not equal either. I pierced my own ears in 7th grade and did not take into account that ear lobes are not exactly the same on both sides. i have never giving it much thought, and did not notice yours because I was looking at the pretty diamonds.

 

[Matilda]

I did not notice the lobe thing until you pointed it out. I think they are gorgeous studs, great size, I don't think they are too big at all.

Also you have longish hair and its down so that further distracts from size. Just pretty sparkle bombs peaking through your hair, very elegant!

 

[Lykame]

ETA Whoops posted too quickly, normally I post from a laptop haha

Looking at them I think one of the issues is my piercings are not completely equal and this larger size makes the lhs droop ( already using the larger backs so not sure it can be fixed)

Additionally your point regarding what people around me wear is spot on. I'm not American so my earrings were already larger than normal ( friends and family wear 0.2 - 0.5tcw usually, only two American friends have larger than 1tcw) making me feel even more awkward

I think they look lovely and they are a very nice size on you. I don't think they look too big at all and it would be lovely if you could enjoy wearing such lovely earrings.

However you continue to sound very concerned about them. How much are you at risk of not even wearing them if you're not comfortable?

Personally I would give it a little more time, whilst investigating the upgrade/return policy, and see if you can change them for a little smaller. That way you won't have this agony of uncertainty about unequal piercings, social expectations etc. I guess only you can know whether those are concerns that will continue to bother you or that once you're used to them you'll wonder why you were ever worried!

 

[mrs-b]

I'd use one of the studs to make a new pendant- because that has some room to go up in size and still stay in proportion to your e-ring. Then I'd buy another diamond the size of your current pendant (.45 ct) to make studs. Return the earring you don't use in that scenario. The difference between the stud diamond you currently have but would return, and the matching .45 ct diamond you'd switch it for, would more than cover the re-settings.

You'd end up with 1.1ct e-ring, .9ct pendant, .9ctw studs. Beautiful balance and classy!

And I just KNOW this will warm @diamondseeker2006's soul - because she is the queen of proportions for this kind of thing!

 

[KristinTech]

Lots of good advice here! I just wanted to commiserate with the uneven piercings. I’m in the same situation. I’d like another bump in size for my studs, and I’m not sure what threshold I can make it to before it’s too much.

I do notice uneven piercings in others, and IRL I really don’t think it looks as obvious as the wearer thinks.

How are you feeling about them now?

 

[chappy]

They look beautiful, but I can see what you mean about uneven droop. Get what makes you comfortable. Can you take one of those and make it into a pendant, then match the stone in your pendant for an earring set?