graceless...

[Gypsy]

So I'm typing in Ellen's dress thread and I realize that I don't care for the shoes she posted because I had a bad fall in something very similar to them... then for some reason a rash of my graceless expoits ran through my mind. Here are just a few of the more memorable ones:

Friend's wedding 3 years ago, gorgeous Stewart Weitzman 5 inch heels (little platform in the front)... slipped down the step of the transpo shuttle and tore my Carmen Marc Valvo dress... badly straining BOTH ankles in the process. Caterer provided ice during the reception... and I think more people talked to me than the B&G.

First day on the job at a nice sized NJ firm. Slipped in the lobby of the building b/c of an absent 'wet floor' sign and my strappy sling back heels badly wrenching my knee and having to go to the hospital in an ambulance. Was let go from that job soon after.

This weekend... hosting a dinner party at my parent's house. Got too close to a candle and set my hair on fire. I now have layers in my long hair. Scared the c*ap out of everyone... my 11 year old cousin ended up smacking me in the head with a wet paper towel to get the flames out.

Sunday (day after setting head on fire) I am wearing wedges... one slips off my foot, lodges itself in the BACK of my break pad while I'm stopping at a red light... I can't fully stop, and I bump the truck in front of me. Fortunately there was NO damage to the truck I hit... it had it's bed thingy pulled down. My car has a wrapped hood and a cracked headlight.

Am I alone in my erm... what's a polite word for it... clumsy-ness?

If I'm not... anyone care to share?

Oh, and feel free to have a good laugh at my expense.

 

[diamondfan]

Are you left handed by any chance?

 

[Gypsy]

Nope. Can''t say that I am. Why?

 

[oshinbreez]

Gypsy,

You definitely are not the only graceless one. Where do I begin?

Growing up, one of my chores was doing the laundry. There was a cabinet with counter (like in the kitchen) to the side of the dryer. Everytime, I''d end up hitting my head on the counter, either bending over hitting my forehead, or standing up hitting the back of my head. Seems like I would have learned.

At work one day, I was in the warehouse and stepped on a floor jack twice within 5 mins. Second time I broke my foot.

Out in the backyard playing with the kids when they were young, I hear the phone ring and run inside to get it. I tripped over a 50 lb bag of dog food, falling flat on my face and breaking my nose.

Taking a shower, I had one foot in the tub and the other on the mat. My foot slipped and I fell agains the side of the tub and broke my ribs.

Out with my bf at the time, stepped off the curb and sprained my ankle.

Walking in the woods with another bf, tripped and broke my finger.

The list goes on and on.

And no, I''m not left handed.

 

[Gypsy]

Oshin...Oh MY!Almost all of yours ended in broken bones. Not fun at all! Especially the ribs! Tikes. I've been blessed with only one broken bone... walking around my apartment in school I went round a corner and my pinky toe didn't make it... snagged on the wall and snapped. I have manged to tear all of the ligaments in my ankle though spraining it so many times... so I'll eventually need surgery for that.

Most of the time, I just manage to embarrass myself without great injury.

 

[JenniferB]

There is a porte cochere that I have to drive through to put the car in the garage. That I can do just fine.
It''s getting it back out that is problematic.

I hit it twice...in the first two weeks we moved in...on opposite sides of my car.

Six months later, I still scrape it every now and again, but at least less aggressively...

I haven''t had it fixed yet (on either side) because I am trying to see if I can get it right finally. And the icing of my gracelessness, it still has paper plates.

Gypsy - feel free to laugh at my expense too.

I can run, walk, hike, dance - do just about anything in heels. I trip like a drunken sailor in those flip flops with a bit of platform...like the 3 inch Reefs.

 

[diamondfan]

I am, though I really only write with my left hand, and I find I am clumsy and accident prone. For some brain wiring reason, left handed people seem to be so. Not sure if that also applies to ambidextrous people, which I am, my right arm is dominant in sports and I eat with my right, and my right arm and side are much stronger...(my hip pain and weakness are on my left and my migraine pain and pelvic pain are too)...but, I do write with my left hand, so I was just observing that correlation. I trip over nothing and bang into things a lot, and my balance and coordination are not so great any more.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/23/2007 1:05:47 AM
Author: JenniferB
There is a porte cochere that I have to drive through to put the car in the garage. That I can do just fine.
It's getting it back out that is problematic.

I hit it twice...in the first two weeks we moved in...on opposite sides of my car.

Six months later, I still scrape it every now and again, but at least less aggressively...

I haven't had it fixed yet (on either side) because I am trying to see if I can get it right finally. And the icing of my gracelessness, it still has paper plates.

Gypsy - feel free to laugh at my expense too.

I can run, walk, hike, dance - do just about anything in heels. I trip like a drunken sailor in those flip flops with a bit of platform...like the 3 inch Reefs.

I"VE DONE THAT -- or garage thing here has this stupid trellis thingy I keep scraping the car on. I even did it to FI's car. Both are a year old only... both are leased!! My car looks REALLY bad right now.

Jennifer.. I don't think I've ever told you that I love your sig line BTW. I always smile when I read it.

 

[Gypsy]

DF? Got any stories??

I'm sorry to hear that your current troubles are connected to this though. Migraines sux.

I'm off to bed for the night. I turn into a grumpkin if I don't get my sleep these days.

 

[diamondfan]

I am just a spazz. If there is a one percent chance I will trip, bang into something, whack my head, I will. I have bent down to get something, told myself to remember that there is an open cabinet up above me and sure enough, WHAM, stood up and taken a chunk of my scalp off. And, guess what, ten minutes later I will do it again, when the cabinet, loose and needing to be fixed, has opened again, and I have leaned over yet again. I will turn to tell my kids something and walk into a doorway, while they look at me like I am loony, and be so worried I am going to have a concussion, which is something I am always telling them to watch out for! I hate to make it sound like I am a female Chevy Chase, but there a days that I am just clutziness personified. Other days I could be dancing Swan Lake, not a la Lucille Ball, but gracefully and elegantly, really! But it is embarassing to say the least. Whenever I watched Dancing with the Stars and they would bop down those stairs my first thought would be, DO NOT TRIP! Cause I probably would.

 

[JenniferB]

DF, did you see Dr. Oz on Oprah last week or this week? (I know, I know, an Oprah show, but I think she does very informative shows!)
Anyway, people that are left handed assess information and can handle more simultaneous stimuli because they are used to using both sides of their brain (unlike most right handed only use the left side - any medical ppl in here feel free to clear this up if I am botching it). So maybe you are just tripping on stuff because you are processing TOO much at once!!!

 

[diamondfan]

I did not but would have loved to. I have a friend who told me that lefties also are hugely at risk in terms of dying very young, with something like 70 percent increase in cancer risk etc, which sounded very odd to me. Did the Doctor happen to mention that? I know that sometimes true lefties die in accidents more frequently, but I really am not a true lefty but am more ambidextrous. I have heard research that does support that true lefties do tend to hurt themselves more frequently and more severly though...

 

[JenniferB]

No, he did not. I have heard that too - but he did not mention it on the show. I found the link for the left vs right handers....here it is: entitled "are left handed people smarter?"

http://www.oprah.com/health/oz/oz_20070521_350_115.jhtml

 

[strmrdr]

yep storm == graceless.
was once called a bull in a china shop lol

lets see....
7 broken teeth (3 permanent, rest baby)
2x dislocated jaw
2x torn muscles (tried to bench press 385lbs and only got it 1/2 way)
4 broken toes
1 broken foot
3 broken fingers
2x broken thumb (same thumb)
2x broken ribs
4x cracked ribs
1 shattered arm - upper - broke across and split up and down.
1 shattered kneecap
10x dislocated knee
2x water on the knee from impact related swelling.
3x dislocated shoulder
1x destroyed elbow
1x damaged elbow
1x cracked collar bone.
1x cracked skull (actually broke a piece off)

had stitches at least 20 times with the first at 2 years old and second at 4(cracked skull that time).
100+ sprained ankles and wrists.

 

[Ellen]

I''ll respond to this thread AFTER the wedding, if you get my drift.

Gypsy, I really am sorry, no wonder you don''t like my shoes!! lol

 

[oshinbreez]

Date: 5/23/2007 1:04:52 AM
Author: Gypsy
Oshin...Oh MY!Almost all of yours ended in broken bones. Not fun at all! Especially the ribs! Tikes. I''ve been blessed with only one broken bone... walking around my apartment in school I went round a corner and my pinky toe didn''t make it... snagged on the wall and snapped. I have manged to tear all of the ligaments in my ankle though spraining it so many times... so I''ll eventually need surgery for that.


Most of the time, I just manage to embarrass myself without great injury.

Really, most of my incidents don''t involve broken bones. Those are just the ones that seem to stick out in my mind most. I''m constantly running into doors, door frames, counters, tables, chairs, corners of desks, etc. And trip over my own feet more than I want to admit. One old bf would have to ck me out when he saw me every week to see how many new bruises, knots, cuts, ect I''d gotten since the last time he''d seen me. I don''t think in the 2 years we were together there was ever a time when he didn''t find new owies.

 

[Dee*Jay]

Date: 5/23/2007 7:55:28 AM
Author: Ellen
I''ll respond to this thread AFTER the wedding, if you get my drift.

Ellen, don''t you DARE go breaking a leg (or anything else for that matter) right before our shopping trip! It would just wear me out to have to push your wheelchair up and down that big long stretch of Michigan Avenue!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

wow Gypsy, you''re a danger to society!! LOL Thankfully I don''t have a lot of these, I wear *sensible* shoes I tripped on the stairs in a movie theatre and fell foward on my face when I was 15 and a bunch of boys were watching me. I had an amazing body back then and I knew they were watching me and I was putting an extra wiggle in my walk after I''d given them the eye and then *splat* LOL The only truly dangerous thing like your wegie/brake thing (you should remove your shoes during ambulation and driving m''dear lol) was back when I used to smoke, I think I was about 18? I was lighting a cig with another in the car on the fwy and dropped one between my legs when I was wearing a miniskirt and it was burning my inner thighs and I had to find a way to get off the road without crashing. That was so stupid. In more ways than one, really.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 5/23/2007 5:23:32 AM
Author: strmrdr
yep storm == graceless.
was once called a bull in a china shop lol

lets see....
7 broken teeth (3 permanent, rest baby)
2x dislocated jaw
2x torn muscles (tried to bench press 385lbs and only got it 1/2 way)
4 broken toes
1 broken foot
3 broken fingers
2x broken thumb (same thumb)
2x broken ribs
4x cracked ribs
1 shattered arm - upper - broke across and split up and down.
1 shattered kneecap
10x dislocated knee
2x water on the knee from impact related swelling.
3x dislocated shoulder
1x destroyed elbow
1x damaged elbow
1x cracked collar bone.
1x cracked skull (actually broke a piece off)

had stitches at least 20 times with the first at 2 years old and second at 4(cracked skull that time).
100+ sprained ankles and wrists.

oh my storm!!!! Aside from having 3 c-sections the only thing I''ve had is one broken toe from slamming my toe into one of those indoor toddler scooters at 4am getting my dd some water. I hit it and it caught on a doorjam and my toe went off at about a 45-60* angle LOL No stitches but I have had spained ankles, one significant and one really bad (but mostly because I sprained it hiking and had to hike for 2 miles on it with an already bad sprain. Good lord that''s fun - not.

 

[AmberWaves]

Oh man, I am the worst.

Let's see:

In high school we had a ramp going down into our sunken campus, so when it rained the ramp would get really slippery. Well, since I was a moron and wore heels all the time, I slipped one day and slid down the ramp, my skirt going up around my neck. The slip breaks the staps on my shirt and I not only have to wear safety pins to hold it up (from the start of the school day) but I flashed quite a few people.

Another time in high school, I was wearing sensible shoes and running down the football bleachers. Well, AGAIN I slipped and fell down all the bleachers, landing at the bottom with my rump on the foot part, and my legs up in the air. Not comfortable.

I was wearing platform flip-flops and taking out the trash, my ankle snapped and I fell to the side, breaking the straps of my flip flop, spraining my ankle, and scraping my entire calf.

I fell in a hole whilst helping out in the special games at college. Again, sprained my ankle. My ankle bone was touching the ground, but I was still standing. Luckily I passed out before I could feel the pain.

I hit my elbow in target- causing me to black out. My doctor says my brain doesn't react to shock well, which is why I black out.

Another time I was manager at Jamba Juice (smoothies) and my ring of keys fell out of my pocket and down into the open drain. I had to call another manager to close the store that night. Never got my keys back.

Of course, random falls and slips, but I think those are the most memorable.

 

[parrot tulips]

I''m not the only clutz! I''m always stumbling over nothing, and I must walk into tons of stuff that I don''t realize, because I''ve always got a bruise somewhere (fortunately, I haven''t had a broken bone since the 3rd grade - dodgeball incident).

My favorite act of "gracelessness" story was back in college. There was a burger joint on a busy road that served food out of a trailer, appropriately called "Whitey''s." Along the edge of the restaurant were some flowers that were bordered by wooden beams, maybe 6 inches or so wide. In front of that flower bed, were wooden barrels (cut in half) that were also filled with flowers. Well, I was waiting for my food to be prepared with my then boyfriend, walking on the beam that bordered the flower bed. I lost my footing, fell a** first into the barrel of flowers, did a backwards somersault, and landed flat on my back. I was so embarassed that I burst into tears (luckily, the only thing hurt was my pride). Best part of the story, though, my boyfriend started singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" from Annie. He was dead serious and very hurt when I started laughing (hey, I thought he was trying to cheer me up!).

 

[sumbride]

Oh where do I start???

First, I cannot make it through a day without spilling food on my shirt. I swear, every SINGLE restaurant meal, and several at home, result in stains. Is it any wonder I don't spend a lot on tops... I usually have to toss them! My FI thinks its funny but it is SO EMBARRASSING! And I have to pack a lot of clothes for my trips and come home and focus on stain removal!!!

I sliced my hand open with a PIZZA CUTTER. 4 stitches. Who gets stitches from a pizza cutter? Me.

Broke my finger and sprained another in what I refer to as the "woodshop accident of '95". My finger still hurts when it's cold. My only saving grace is that I actually saved myself from losing an eye in that incident!

Once got my foot caught in the ladder of a pool... tore my ligament.

I have walked into walls so hard I had bone bruises. Routinely stub my toes on anything and everything. I've broken a few more than I care to admit.

Fallen down the stairs in my house a few times, but slipping on the DC Metro Escalator and falling down 5 steps hurt the most! I had scars for a few years from the serrated teeth. My cashmere sweater was unharmed though!

Fell down the steps at church when I was 12 because my grandmother had just given me a pair of high heels. Sprained my ankle. That was the last time I voluntarily went to church!

I don't wear any shoes without tread in the winter after multiple "slipping on the ice" scenarios.

I'm sure there's more... i've blocked most of them out!


OH!!! And at my first football game in highschool, I accidentally let go of my trombone slide... and it slid down the concrete bleachers, causing about $500 worth of damage!!!!

 

[dianne]

Date: 5/23/2007 12:44:49 AM
Author:Gypsy
So I''m typing in Ellen''s dress thread and I realize that I don''t care for the shoes she posted because I had a bad fall in something very similar to them... then for some reason a rash of my graceless expoits ran through my mind. Here are just a few of the more memorable ones:

Friend''s wedding 3 years ago, gorgeous Stewart Weitzman 5 inch heels (little platform in the front)... slipped down the step of the transpo shuttle and tore my Carmen Marc Valvo dress... badly straining BOTH ankles in the process. Caterer provided ice during the reception... and I think more people talked to me than the B&G.

First day on the job at a nice sized NJ firm. Slipped in the lobby of the building b/c of an absent ''wet floor'' sign and my strappy sling back heels badly wrenching my knee and having to go to the hospital in an ambulance. Was let go from that job soon after.

This weekend... hosting a dinner party at my parent''s house. Got too close to a candle and set my hair on fire. I now have layers in my long hair. Scared the c*ap out of everyone... my 11 year old cousin ended up smacking me in the head with a wet paper towel to get the flames out.

Sunday (day after setting head on fire) I am wearing wedges... one slips off my foot, lodges itself in the BACK of my break pad while I''m stopping at a red light... I can''t fully stop, and I bump the truck in front of me. Fortunately there was NO damage to the truck I hit... it had it''s bed thingy pulled down. My car has a wrapped hood and a cracked headlight.

Am I alone in my erm... what''s a polite word for it... clumsy-ness?

If I''m not... anyone care to share?

Oh, and feel free to have a good laugh at my expense.

Gypsy, I couldn''t laugh at all since I was making little unbelieving gasps with each of your paragraphs. My goodness, I am so sorry!! One word of advice: sneakers..........lol

 

[kcoursolle]

Back when I lived in MN, I *never* wore high heels. Every now and then I would wear a shoe with a chunky heel. Whenever I would dress up with heels, something bad would happen. I fell down on the stairs coming down to perform at a piano recital!

However, now that I''ve been in LA for a while, I''m wearing high heels all the time. The weather is always nice here so I have no excuse not to wear cute shoes. Since then the practice in heels has really helped and I''m much better at walking in them!

 

[zoebartlett]

Oh my, these stories are actually pretty funny, although I certainly feel for you all. I can''t believe how easy it is to get hurt doing virtually nothing. I''ve had my share of bumps and bruises and a couple broken bones but none with stories as interesting as yours. I have tripped going up the stairs more times than I can count. I definitely have two left feet! I''ve fallen down stairs and slipped on ice. I''ve hit the garage with my car and accidently bumped into someone''s car ahead of me at a light more than once.

One of my kids (students, 8 years old) said something really funny the other day and I thought it was cute. While grimacing and limping towards me, he said, "Ms. Zoe, Ms. Zoe, my body bone hurts! It hurts!" He said this while pointing to his ribs. I''m not sure why he was limping. "Body bone" -- hehe.

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 5/23/2007 4:15:24 PM
Author: sumbride
Oh where do I start???

First, I cannot make it through a day without spilling food on my shirt. I swear, every SINGLE restaurant meal, and several at home, result in stains. Is it any wonder I don''t spend a lot on tops... I usually have to toss them! My FI thinks its funny but it is SO EMBARRASSING! And I have to pack a lot of clothes for my trips and come home and focus on stain removal!!!

I sliced my hand open with a PIZZA CUTTER. 4 stitches. Who gets stitches from a pizza cutter? Me.

cant say I cut myself on a pizza cutter but did cut myself with a knife while cutting pizza.
burned my finger on the cheese and jerked my hand back right into the knife in the other hand.
2am pizza cooking can be very painful! not too mention I had to work a 18.5 hour shift in 10 hours and had just got home from a 13 hour shift and it took 4 hours at the ER for stitches on a Sunday morning.....

I have to add myself to the sloppy eater club too.
If it can drip its going too and right down my shirt at the worst time.

 

[dianne]

Date: 5/23/2007 5:23:32 AM
Author: strmrdr
yep storm == graceless.
was once called a bull in a china shop lol

lets see....
7 broken teeth (3 permanent, rest baby)
2x dislocated jaw
2x torn muscles (tried to bench press 385lbs and only got it 1/2 way)
4 broken toes
1 broken foot
3 broken fingers
2x broken thumb (same thumb)
2x broken ribs
4x cracked ribs
1 shattered arm - upper - broke across and split up and down.
1 shattered kneecap
10x dislocated knee
2x water on the knee from impact related swelling.
3x dislocated shoulder
1x destroyed elbow
1x damaged elbow
1x cracked collar bone.
1x cracked skull (actually broke a piece off)

had stitches at least 20 times with the first at 2 years old and second at 4(cracked skull that time).
100+ sprained ankles and wrists.

Strm--- I read Gypsy''s posting aloud to my bf and told him I had posted one word of advice for her: sneakers.
Then I read your extensive list of past injuries and told him I should post you one word of advice as well: superglue.
BF had a funnier word of advice for you: sobriety..................lol............

 

[strmrdr]

Date: 5/23/2007 8:13:13 PM
Author: dianne

Strm--- I read Gypsy''s posting aloud to my bf and told him I had posted one word of advice for her: sneakers.
Then I read your extensive list of past injuries and told him I should post you one word of advice as well: superglue.
BF had a funnier word of advice for you: sobriety..................lol............

lol yes used superglue many times instead of stitches when I got older.
thing is I dont drink and the time when I did almost none of that happened then lol

 

[pricescope]

Hey Gypsy, you know, i am a watcher here mostly but i want to let you know if you are interested in my point: You need to stop reflecting and picking on yourself and find flaws and obsess over them. Take some great things about yourself and tell us about them, don't be shy - i want to know what do you like about your precious self.
Do we need a thread like "Show me you great side" - please bragg shamelessly?
I am serious.

I will participate in clumsiness-self-admitting though as i am here already - in the morning i don't see, don't move, don't speak and hold on the railings of the stairs coming down to my coffee like 90 years old, but i know it's because of my ridiculously low blood pressure and am in peace with it.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Well, Dianne already posted close to what I was thinking, but here was my one word for you, Gypsy:



FLATS!!!!!!!!!


(I mean, come on, how many people wouldn't have an accident wearing 5 inch heels! I don't think clumsy has anything to do with it!)