Girls,if a male co-worker try to flirt with you..

[Dancing Fire]

How would you react?

 

[monarch64]

Grab him by the balls, duh!

I don't have co-workers anymore. Not in person, anyway. All of my work is done remotely.
However! When I worked with people, I had several jobs during which a male co-worker at some point attempted to flirt with me and it would have been considered sexual harassment. Had enough of that shit and finally made the break into being self-employed for good.

 

[redwood66]

Flirting and harassment are two different things so I would try to figure out which first. Harassment - they get a look that would have made my unborn kids cringe and told to back that truck up. Just flirting would depend on their intentions. My workplace was loaded with what might be deemed inappropriate innuendo committed by nearly everyone.

 

[OoohShiny]

How about if another woman tried to flirt with you?

 

[Dancing Fire]

How about if another woman tried to flirt with you?

depends if she is hot looking..

 

[AV_]

I don't.

Only twice this was not enough...

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Eh, a few years back I worked at a gym and one of the guys who worked behind the desk used to flirt with me, harmless fun, I called him my gym husband. DH didn't care, if he had it would have been different of course.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I'm a warm, friendly person, and very smiley and easy to talk to. Some male co-workers have mistaken that for flirting, and try to get "flirtatious" with me. If they paid me compliments that I felt uncomfortable with, I respond with "Oh, thanks, my husband thinks so too!"

If I feel they have over stepped the line more than once, I start acting very cold and professional with them (freeze them out).

 

[dk168]

It has yet to happen in 42 years of working life.
I met my ex-hubby at work and made the first move.
When we parted company after 10 years, it was awkward at work. Because of this and other issues, I decided to leave my job, our marital home and area, so that he could remain.
Nowadays I would avoid getting involved with anyone at work.

DK

 

[seaurchin]

Nah, that's how affairs get started. Better to take that fun attitude home to the spouse.

 

[Bron357]

I met my husband at work. He was in a different dept and floor. We had open plan (no offices) and walking past his desk to a meeting room I saw he had mineral specimens on his desk (he was a Mining Analyst). I stopped, picked them up and rattled off their names Galena, Copper Pryrites, Iron Ore, Bornite.... he laughed and said he was surprised I knew them. I said “I’m into rocks”. We later met up again at a work function and then started going out in a work group until he asked me out on “a date”. That was nearly 20 years ago now and he is finally doing his Geology degree (he has degrees in Finance and Business).

 

[GliderPoss]

I'm friendly but professional. Don't recall any really overt flirting by anyone at work, everyone knew I was married!

 

[OoohShiny]

I met my husband at work. He was in a different dept and floor. We had open plan (no offices) and walking past his desk to a meeting room I saw he had mineral specimens on his desk (he was a Mining Analyst). I stopped, picked them up and rattled off their names Galena, Copper Pryrites, Iron Ore, Bornite.... he laughed and said he was surprised I knew them. I said “I’m into rocks”. We later met up again at a work function and then started going out in a work group until he asked me out on “a date”. That was nearly 20 years ago now and he is finally doing his Geology degree (he has degrees in Finance and Business).

Little did the poor chap know that you meant 'rocks' in the Pricescope sense...

 

[missy]

I was single and young when I entered the work force and yes I had male colleagues and even patients who flirted with me. I also had a colleague sexually harass me. I put him in his place and he never bothered me again. I know the difference between (sweet/innocent) flirting and sexual harassment. The former is OK (or was OK when I was single) and the latter is not. I will not tolerate the latter.

Now that I am an old married lady I wouldn't be OK with flirting because I look at it as a sot of betrayal to my dh. I think there was a thread about this and PSers were divided. I would not be OK with my dh flirting with any women colleagues or friends. So conversely I would not do that to him.

What do you girls/guys think? Is "harmless" flirting OK if one is married?

 

[Bron357]

I was single and young when I entered the work force and yes I had male colleagues and even patients who flirted with me. I also had a colleague sexually harass me. I put him in his place and he never bothered me again. I know the difference between (sweet/innocent) flirting and sexual harassment. The former is OK (or was OK when I was single) and the latter is not. I will not tolerate the latter.

Now that I am an old married lady I wouldn't be OK with flirting because I look at it as a sot of betrayal to my dh. I think there was a thread about this and PSers were divided. I would not be OK with my dh flirting with any women colleagues or friends. So conversely I would not do that to him.

What do you girls/guys think? Is "harmless" flirting OK if one is married?

No, flirting is only for young single people.
Partnered people should stick to being professional in the workplace.
Older people (40+) who are single shouldn’t flirt though, too much risk of looking either sleazy or desperate

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

so long as it was innocent no harm
im fact it would be good for my confidence and id lap it up
i have always worked in male dominated fields so its make friends with the boys or be lonelly
im pretty average looking so im always just another buddy to them but over the years i have had 'best' work friends who were male and i have got on well with their wives or girlfriends because im no treat
however there have been times when ive had great joyvale times with male co-workers and then their wife (who i didn't know) turns up and the co-worker changes completly
that has hurt my feelings emensly
this also was true for some customers
through the week the builders would come in and joke away and the best of them were just the same when accompanied by their wives and family in the weekend
im fact it was usually lovelly getting to know their families
but some of those males had complete personality transplants when with their wives
i wounder is the wife over possessive and insecure.?...and has he given her a reason to be ?
but lady - im not after anybody's husband but my own

 

[missy]

No, flirting is only for young single people.
Partnered people should stick to being professional in the workplace.
Older people (40+) who are single shouldn’t flirt though, too much risk of looking either sleazy or desperate

Haha yes I agree about flirting being for single people. However I respectfully disagree about the age. I think it is A OK to flirt at any age if both parties are single and willing. I know in my head I feel about 25 so why wouldn't I want to flirt if I was single and interested in a handsome somebody? Just saying. Of course I have zero interest now and the thought of dating makes me want to but just saying I don't see any problems with middle age or older individuals flirting and enjoying themselves if they are both single and willing participants.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Haha yes I agree about flirting being for single people. However I respectfully disagree about the age. I think it is A OK to flirt at any age if both parties are single and willing. I know in my head I feel about 25 so why wouldn't I want to flirt if I was single and interested in a handsome somebody? Just saying. Of course I have zero interest now and the thought of dating makes me want to but just saying I don't see any problems with middle age or older individuals flirting and enjoying themselves if they are both single and willing participants.

it was an older man (im talking like 70) that hurt my feelings
he seemed like that with everyone (flirty) so no harm (not a dirty old man either) but he just completly changed when his wife came in
my mouth dropped to the floor and my eyes stung

 

[missy]

it was an older man (im talking like 70) that hurt my feelings
he seemed like that with everyone (flirty) so no harm (not a dirty old man either) but he just completly changed when his wife came in
my mouth dropped to the floor and my eyes stung

Aww I am sorry Daisy. I think that means he felt he was behaving inappropriately if he changed his behavior when his wife was around. That to me is the definition of inappropriate. If you behave differently in front of your spouse that behavior when she/he is not around is probably not OK.

It's funny/funny sad that 70 years old doesn't seem old to me anymore. My dh is almost 61 and he is (IMO) young so 70 doesn't seem that far away...

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Aww I am sorry Daisy. I think that means he felt he was behaving inappropriately if he changed his behavior when his wife was around. That to me is the definition of inappropriate. If you behave differently in front of your spouse that behavior when she/he is not around is probably not OK.

It's funny/funny sad that 70 years old doesn't seem old to me anymore. My dh is almost 61 and he is (IMO) young so 70 doesn't seem that far away...

my OH is 19 years older than me at 67
Bruce Springsteen is 70 in September
if you had told me at 14 id be thinking men were hot after retirement age id think you were crazy
(in fairness i did think Bruce was hot back then too but my friends said he was too old at like 35 - talk about out of the mouths of babes !)
mind you i always thought Larry hagman was very easy on the eye
my mum and dad everdently knew id settle down with an older man but i just have an old soul
one ex boyfriend (6 years younger - what a disaster) called me generation lost the #**#er
but i guess your right about John from the paint dept

 

[Bron357]

Haha yes I agree about flirting being for single people. However I respectfully disagree about the age. I think it is A OK to flirt at any age if both parties are single and willing. I know in my head I feel about 25 so why wouldn't I want to flirt if I was single and interested in a handsome somebody? Just saying. Of course I have zero interest now and the thought of dating makes me want to but just saying I don't see any problems with middle age or older individuals flirting and enjoying themselves if they are both single and willing participants.

True.
I was really meaning when you’re 40+ you don’t have to “flirt” you can be “straight to the point”

 

[missy]

True.
I was really meaning when you’re 40+ you don’t have to “flirt” you can be “straight to the point”

I’m weird. I enjoy the art of flirting. The butterflies one gets when one is getting to know a potential love interest. I’m not so old I don’t remember those butterflies. It’s all part of the romance imo. The delicate and delicious dance. Whatever works for each individual/couple is all good.

 

[Madam Bijoux]

It would depend on the co-worker.....

 

[lyra]

Apparently, I'd marry him! Going on 37 years now.

 

[Tekate]

When I was young I'd flirt right back. If anyone flirted with me today I'd be shocked.

 

[LLJsmom]

When I was young I'd flirt right back. If anyone flirted with me today I'd be shocked.

Yes me too. I’d be shocked. I’d ignore it completely. If he became obvious or uncomfortable I’d just call him out on it.

 

[tigertales]

Sadly, I think a lot of men are terrified of flirting these days in case it gets misconstrued.

Everything is so serious now, one wrong step and 'uh-oh'. I miss the light hearted nature of flirting. It's become a lost art really.

 

[missy]

Sadly, I think a lot of men are terrified of flirting these days in case it gets misconstrued.

Everything is so serious now, one wrong step and 'uh-oh'. I miss the light hearted nature of flirting. It's become a lost art really.

That is sad if it is true. I remember and love the art of flirting and when done properly no one misunderstands it. But I do understand erring on the side of conservatism in this very sensitive world. Just hope the art of innocent flirting is not dead. As I wrote above the art of flirting can be a delicate and delicious dance.

 

[MissStepcut]

Sadly, I think a lot of men are terrified of flirting these days in case it gets misconstrued.

Everything is so serious now, one wrong step and 'uh-oh'. I miss the light hearted nature of flirting. It's become a lost art really.

I hope the men who used to think grabbing and groping and naked sexism was lighthearted fun when I was in my early 20s now see it differently.

 

[stracci2000]

It is horribly uncomfortable if a co-corker that you are not interested in continues to flirt with you.
Back in the day, we women were told to be courteous and pleasant. So when a man would flirt and compliment you and make veiled sexual comments, we would laugh it off, and try not to offend the man. Even when he was making us squirm!
I worked in a small office and the married boss used to flirt with me all the time. I was 21 and he was 40. It was awful. I tried so hard not to be near him.
He thought it was flirting. Looking back, it was sexual harassment.