Gift ideas for new neighbor; possible cultural concerns

[the_mother_thing]

Hi,

That's funny that your definition of a set back is from the property line. Here in my neck of the woods it from the house structure. I have a eight foot setback from my house to where a fence would be allowed.

I really mean no disrespect, but I think you are making a big deal over the neighbors reaction. She is elderly, hopefully likes living there and will adjust to the new conditions. I don't think its your job to tell her how to proceed unless it comes up in a personal conversation later on. I think the giving of a jade plant because she is Asian is (I'm throwing up my hands here) Is what?? If she wanted jade plants I'm sure she has them.
I wish you luck with your new house. I'm beginning to be sorry for the neighbor.

Annette

Not sure where your ‘neck of the woods’ is, but that seems odd to me ... that you wouldn’t be able to attach a fence to your home, and that it’d have to be ‘free standing’ and 8’ away from your home. I’m not really making a big deal about the neighbor’s reaction, aside from actually caring about how this impacts her, and we’re certainly not planning to tell her what to do/how to proceed. I’m primarily trying to get suggestions for what (if anything) might be a kind gesture once we do close on & own the home when we are able to properly introduce ourselves, in light of this whole fence issue. The rest is just background for the situation and answering people’s questions.

You’re not alone in being ‘sorry’ for the neighbor; we are as well. If we didn’t give a crap, we wouldn’t have put as much time, research and thought into what options we might have to help her (if we offer & she chooses to accept it), and how best to approach the situation as delicately as possible once we are ‘in’.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Each state, village, condo, PUD development has different regulations about our properties. I live in Il. The development where I live has housing that is close together. You must put your fence on the property line, no if ands or buts , even if you want one within your property.. If you do not the village can ask you to take it down. You can't have two fences constructed between properties.. You can attach your fence to the house, which in our cases includes a gate.

I had to think about why my neighbor and I asked about setbacks. I was thinking of expanding a powder room to make a larger bathroom. But I couldn't because I had to leave an eight foot setback. which I wouldn't have had left. Here ends my discussion of setbacks.

Annette

 

[lyra]

If I'm understanding this correctly, it is the current owner who is having to get the neighbour to remove her fence. That's not on you. None of this is on you. Current owner and neighbour both had the ability to forsee the issue. Failings all around, but not on your behalf. When will the fence be removed, and when will you be re-fencing? Just curious. The aerial view helps. Maybe neighbour is getting more side yard than she thought she had? It is an odd lot, but she could and should have done her due diligence.

 

[anne_h]

Since your agent says this neighbor seems like a sweet person, I am hopeful she will not be resentful towards you about this issue.

I agree with the others that a small, thoughtful "hi, we're your new neighbors" gift would be nice. I like the ideas about fresh flowers, a houseplant or home baking.

Good luck with the closing of your sale!!

Anne

 

[the_mother_thing]

This is why I would never buy in a neighborhood with an HOA. It seems preposterous to me that an association can deem a large portion of your property unusable (8' setback) for a fence. Buildings yes but not a fence. Cities and counties have setbacks for structures.

In looking at the aerial is is amazing to me that your neighbor's agent and the selling agent of the previous owners did not perform due diligence or possibly was not forthcoming with disclosure in the case of the selling agent/owner. I presume this is still in NC? I don't know what the statutes are but how the heck was title issued on her place when she bought it? This issue should have been found by the title company when she bought as I assume her purchase was the first sale of either property since the fence installation. I wonder if she would have a case against them?

Congrats on finding a new house and I hope this all works out well.

Thank you, and yes, the situation baffles us as well. The only way I can see for how a ‘clear’ title conveyed to her upon purchase was if she did not order a survey, because that would have revealed the same issue for her purchase. With a survey, if she was buying title insurance and/or her lender required title insurance (most do), the fence issue would have been identified & addressed before she bought. And if she decided not to buy as a result of the tiny yard, the sellers would have had to remove the fence or legally disclose the issue to any potential future buyer/s.

As I understand title insurance (at least, our policy), it does not cover losses for discrepancies in boundaries, easements, etc. that are discovered post-closing. That is why they recommend getting an inspection and a survey before purchase - for buyer awareness and to have something that officially reveals if there is an issue with the property inside & out before you buy.

And I am with you - I generally despise HOAs for the same reason, but this one has - otherwise - mostly ‘common sense’ rules to preserve property values, and given the home was perfect for our needs, something had to give as there aren’t many homes that aren’t in HOAs in the area we need to be. I made sure to read every word of the covenants before we submitted our offer, and asked questions directly to the HOA for the clarifications we needed. We’re not keen on the setbacks either, but even with them, we know we can do what we need to with regard to our fence needs on the property, so it doesn’t bother us.

When will the fence be removed, and when will you be re-fencing? Just curious. The aerial view helps. Maybe neighbour is getting more side yard than she thought she had? It is an odd lot, but she could and should have done her due diligence.

The encroaching portion of fence is being removed before we close next Friday, and it will be about a month until our fence is installed.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Just an update for those who were interested ... we are all moved into our new home and loving it. We have met all of our immediate neighbors as well as many others in the ‘hood, and all are just lovely, including our one neighbor immediately impacted by the yard issue.

Hubs and I offered to have the property line redrawn between our two homes that would yield her a more ‘logical’ and useful back yard (basically almost all of what she thought was hers to begin with) and offered to share the cost of the process (e.g., surveys, attorneys, city/county planner approval, etc.) 50/50 - our closing attorney said it’d be somewhere between $2k & $3K, so $1500/each worst case scenario. Her ex-FIL was there, and advised her against the idea, even though the long-term impact to her property value is likely to be pretty negative. He was all about the “well, if she just puts her fence back, it’s minimal cost and it’s done now ...” yada yada. He didn’t seem to care about the fact that (nor to explain to her so she would fully understand) that her long-term resale value WILL be impacted by this. Nevertheless, she is planning to just have her fence reinstalled along the actual/correct property line (assuming HOA approves her doing so and doesn’t enforce the 8’ setback each home has).

I got the feeling that her ex-FIL felt like we were out to get something or a benefit out of the situation, but that’s hardly the case here; rather, the opposite. And he is American/no ‘language barrier’ issue that would preclude him from understanding the situation. And it really just reaffirms my thought that this nice woman has been quite ill-advised by a LOT of people and continues to be, and it’s sad. But there’s not much else we can do at this point, except to continue to be friendly/neighborly, and go about our plans with our back yard now.

So that is that!

 

[lyra]

That's unfortunate that she's getting bad advice, and chose not to consult a lawyer instead of Ex-FIL. You've done all you can really, and you've done nothing wrong.

 

[partgypsy]

yes, you have done what you can. Thank you for posting the picture. I really couldn't figure out how the fence was put across your yard without it looking glaringly obvious, but I see both plots are at an angle. At the positive, she does have a generous side yard on one side she can take advantage of.
It looks like you have a nice backyard!

I would look into the fence restriction. I know every place is different, but at least in my neighborhood while we do have a setback for actual structures, fences are built on property line or actually, just over or under someone's property line. It would very odd restriction to both allow fences, but only with an 8" setback, as you can imagine a fence like that is pretty useless.

 

[MaisOuiMadame]

Happy to hear you love your new home!
I found you handled this whole mess very graciously and with a lot of concern for your neighbour.

 

[redwood66]

Enjoy your new home! Glad you have nice neighbors as well.

 

[the_mother_thing]

Thank you all!

We consulted with the HOA who - admittedly - was also confused about the set-back line and where the fence can/should go. They are looking into it and will get back to us.

 

[redwood66]

Thank you all!

We consulted with the HOA who - admittedly - was also confused about the set-back line and where the fence can/should go. They are looking into it and will get back to us.

I certainly hope you both don't have to have a setback for fence of 8' because that sounds really ridiculous. IOW the development gains 16' of unusable property? That sounds like they want a lane between all properties eventually. Makes no sense whatsoever.

 

[the_mother_thing]

I certainly hope you both don't have to have a setback for fence of 8' because that sounds really ridiculous. IOW the development gains 16' of unusable property? That sounds like they want a lane between all properties eventually. Makes no sense whatsoever.

I know and I largely agree, but I can also see an argument that in some cases a shared fence line can be ‘problematic’ as well, so I guess it depends on the situation. Thankfully (for us), even if it is an 8’ setback for the fence, we will still have plenty of room to do what we want/need to do. Our neighbor, not so much.

I’m not losing much sleep over it at this point. My house went on the market this afternoon and showings are being scheduled for tomorrow so my priority is just selling it so we can move forward with only one home to focus on.

 

[partgypsy]

I know the rules are different everywhere, but in my neighborhood, the fence has to be on one side of the property line or the other (4"?) . But when we put up the fence, we asked the neighbor if they were willing to chip in, as they were also planning to fence in their yard, and they did. I guess this is done so it is only one owner's responsibility for any fence issues.