Gift idea for life-changing accident situation?

[CJ2008]

At our dentist's office there's a dental hygienist who usually does our teeth cleanings twice a year. DH has a more friendly relationship with her than I do, but she's a nice girl.

DH went to get his teeth cleaned the other day and found out that her husband suffered an accident and is now permanently paralyzed from basically his chest down. Needless to say we were shocked She is young (probably mid 30s) and they have kids (I think they have 2 or 3).

We want to get her/them something but I don't know what to get.

For some reason I keep thinking something for the family to do together (e.g., a gift certificate to the movies, or a gift certificate to a restaurant, etc.) but I don't know...or should it be something more neutral like a donation somewhere?

Also, I don't know what to say - is it "we're sorry, just wanted you to know we're thinking of you and your family, enjoy a nice night out."

I am just so unsure what would be appropriate both as a gift or in words.

Would love some ideas.

Thank you!

 

[Mayk]

My suggestion is around making life easier for her. As she is carrying the load. While rehabbing from surgery I was given gifts from local places that have full meals you bring home and heat up. It's was a huge help to my DH who was working full time and taking care of me. I also received gift cards for good take out places like Panera. Often the caregiver is under as much stress as the patient.

 

[yennyfire]

My suggestion is around making life easier for her. As she is carrying the load. While rehabbing from surgery I was given gifts from local places that have full meals you bring home and heat up. It's was a huge help to my DH who was working full time and taking care of me. I also received gift cards for good take out places like Panera. Often the caregiver is under as much stress as the patient.

I agree with this. Depending on what you want to spend, maybe a certificate from a cleaning service? What a kind and thoughtful thing you are doing! I'm sure she will appreciate anything you do....

 

[momhappy]

I agree - anything that might make their lives a little bit easier. Meal services are great and some offer routine deliveries, so you could plan it as a reoccurring gift for as long as you'd like. A cleaning service is also a good idea and would probably be greatly appreciated.

 

[VRBeauty]

You might check with someone else in the office to see whether they already have a fund going for her family. I agree that meals from someplace that delivers would be a great idea - even if it's only a pizza place. And of course you can't go wrong with cash with a nice note - as impersonal as it seems, it will allow them to use your gift in a manner that best suits their needs.

 

[Calliecake]

My husband had a cousin who was in a very similar situation and their life was turned completely upside down for quite a while. While giving a gift card for the movies or a restaurant is a very thoughtful idea I think something to help her with her day to day living would probably be more appreciated right now. I would look into getting her a gift certificate for a house cleaning service. The meal delivery is also a great idea. You are so kind CJ for doing something nice for her and her family.

 

[CJ2008]

Thank you all for the wonderful ideas.

I like the focus on "how can we help HER?"

(which in turn helps the whole family).

So I love the ideas and started looking into them but then this popped into my mind:

Meals - what if she's really picky with meals?
Housecleaning - what if she hates letting people into her home?

Plus - being that we'll probably at most spend $100 (I'm thinking - haven't discussed it with DH) - it would be a one time cleaning...and maybe not even a full week of meals.

So then I started thinking that as lovely as those ideas are maybe VRBeauty's suggestion is the safest...either contribute to the fund (if there is one) or just plain $.

 

[Calliecake]

Thank you all for the wonderful ideas.

I like the focus on "how can we help HER?"

(which in turn helps the whole family).

So I love the ideas and started looking into them but then this popped into my mind:

Meals - what if she's really picky with meals?
Housecleaning - what if she hates letting people into her home?

Plus - being that we'll probably at most spend $100 (I'm thinking - haven't discussed it with DH) - it would be a one time cleaning...and maybe not even a full week of meals.

So then I started thinking that as lovely as those ideas are maybe VRBeauty's suggestion is the safest...either contribute to the fund (if there is one) or just plain $.

Good points CJ. I obviously didn't think this thru. Another problem with sendung meals is I'm sure many people are doing this. When a friend of ours was really sick from cancer treatments, there were nights where three different people brought dinner over. Nice gesture but who really needs three dinners for six on the same night. Contributing to a fund for the family definately sounds like a better way to help them.

 

[TooPatient]

Talk to her office and see if they are coordinating. Some places will do that so she gets one meal each night instead of a big pile then nothing.

Another option would be something like a babysitter so she can run to the store. Especially going into the holiday season.

 

[lambskin]

Perhaps an outdoor chore he can not do anymore-a service to rake leaves, shove snow etc. Even hanging holiday lights.

 

[PintoBean]

How about a gift card to a supermarket that has delivery service like a pea pod? That way she can get what she needs delivered.

 

[CJ2008]

Thanks for the additional ideas.

You are all so creative. Any one of these suggestions would be so helpful.

(And Callie, I didn't realize any of those things until after a while! The reason they may not work is only because I don't know her that well and her preferences and routines. But they are all really lovely ideas.)

So I think I've come to realize that since I don't know her well at all to keep it easier and make sure she can actually use whatever we give her, I'll call to see if the office has a fund for her and/or give her $.

 

[Calliecake]

Thanks for the additional ideas.

You are all so creative. Any one of these suggestions would be so helpful.

(And Callie, I didn't realize any of those things until after a while! The reason they may not work is only because I don't know her that well and her preferences and routines. But they are all really lovely ideas.)

So I think I've come to realize that since I don't know her well at all to keep it easier and make sure she can actually use whatever we give her, I'll call to see if the office has a fund for her and/or give her $.

CJ, Your solution sounds perfect. Her office probably would be happy to start a fund if they haven't already done so. I'm sure the woman and her family will be so appreciative of any act of kindness and generosity they receive. Sometimes when people are going thru awful situations the kindness of others is what gets them thru the day.

 

[CJ2008]

I called the office today and sure enough, they had started a GoFundMe page for her.

So...perfect solution...and I don't think I would have thought to call the office were it not for the help from this thread.

As always, thank you all so much!