GF cheated on me, what to do with Tiffany Co diamond necklace?

[Kaleigh]

Date: 12/16/2008 4:51:10 PM
Author: zhuzhu
Get the store credit and sit on it. You can always get another one if you decide to get back together. If not the credit will come in handy in the future for another meaningful relationship.
And no, I do not think the store credit is associated with the sentimental part of this relationship at all. It was simply a purchase made in error, flat and simple.
Good luck!

Ditto. And sorry you are going through this.

 

[snlee]

I agree, take the store credit. I''m sorry you have to go through this.

 

[AprilBaby]

So sorry, you sound like a lovely man. Take the store credit and use it when the time seems right!

 

[Dancing Fire]

take the store credit !!

 

[OUpearlgirl]

I had similar feelings when the present I bought my ex for Christmas arrived! I had something made specifically for him that I KNEW he would love. At first I felt guilty when I thought about selling it. I told him about it and said I would be selling it (it was an OU football collector''s item) and that he could match the price of the highest bidder if he wanted it.

Welp, since my team has done AMAZING this year, people were willing to pay a lot. I am now glad I sold it to someone other than him. I also earned about $800 off of it, so I got to pay off some bills!

Don''t give it to her. Take the store credit and be done. I know how it feels to be crazy about some one and want them to have something you spent time, effort, and money on. She hurt you and is no longer worth that time, effort, or money. Don''t. Do. It!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Take the store credit. Even if you get back together, this particular piece might remind you of this difficult time. If it is like it sounds, a one-night-huge-mistake rather than ditching you for someone else, I would also consider whether you love her enough to forgive her (if she''d want to try again).

 

[jewelerman]

Store credit!Get something for yourself....i was engaged once...she broke it off and i wear the .47 VVS2-G round brilliant diamond in a gents ring.

 

[that_someone_special]

STORE CREDIT!!
(or buy a stranger a gift.. hmm.. me? jk)

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Sorry about your situation. Definetly get store credit!

 

[AdiS]

Of course he has mixed feelings - a person he loves betrayed him. IMO that is absolutely NOT an indicator that she''s the woman of his life and he should just go back to her with jewels and roses. Doubt, sorrow, denial and desire to just forget it all and make things go back as they were once are all natural. But someone who hurt you so badly cannot be the one for you. Just my opinion, as I said.
Take the store credit. Get something nice for yourself, buy gifts for people you love or just save it for a future relationship and for a woman who actualy deserves your love, attention and presents. Keep your chin up, you sound like a great guy and I''m sure you''ll find the happiness you deserve.

 

[Regular Guy]

Not intending to take the conversation away from where it''s intended, or have it strike dead center, but...

Maybe we really make too much of the sex act anyway.

Do you suppose this is covered in the forum rules?

Also...not an obvious point...but one should understand that there are consequences consistent with separating physically for extended periods of time.

If you really do value another person, for who they are, and for what you can anticipate they will bring into your life, you may want to be sure you are using the criteria that you want to use for determining if they will continue to be an important, and daily, part of your future life, or not.

 

[AdiS]

Date: 12/17/2008 5:12:49 AM
Author: Regular Guy
Not intending to take the conversation away from where it''s intended, or have it strike dead center, but...

Maybe we really make too much of the sex act anyway.

Do you suppose this is covered in the forum rules?

Also...not an obvious point...but one should understand that there are consequences consistent with separating physically for extended periods of time.

If you really do value another person, for who they are, and for what you can anticipate they will bring into your life, you may want to be sure you are using the criteria that you want to use for determining if they will continue to be an important, and daily, part of your future life, or not.

Not the sex act, no. It''s about the betrayal of trust - wheter it''s cheating, beating, lieing, you name it. If something your SO does makes you feel the way rossi feels, it couldn''t possibly be ok. IMO that''s the law a realtionship abides by - not church canons and not wedding vows - it''s the way it makes you feel in your heart.

As for the consequences of an extended physical separation - well, we all have our needs, right? But rossi says "I stayed out of the bars specifically to avoid tempation." The choice whether to yield to that needs or not is ours only. That''s what makes the difference.

Sorry for the little digression rossi!

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 12/17/2008 5:51:18 AM
Author: AdiS

Date: 12/17/2008 5:12:49 AM
Author: Regular Guy
Not intending to take the conversation away from where it''s intended, or have it strike dead center, but...

Maybe we really make too much of the sex act anyway.

Do you suppose this is covered in the forum rules?

Also...not an obvious point...but one should understand that there are consequences consistent with separating physically for extended periods of time.

If you really do value another person, for who they are, and for what you can anticipate they will bring into your life, you may want to be sure you are using the criteria that you want to use for determining if they will continue to be an important, and daily, part of your future life, or not.

Not the sex act, no. It''s about the betrayal of trust - wheter it''s cheating, beating, lieing, you name it. If something your SO does makes you feel the way rossi feels, it couldn''t possibly be ok. IMO that''s the law a realtionship abides by - not church canons and not wedding vows - it''s the way it makes you feel in your heart.

As for the consequences of an extended physical separation - well, we all have our needs, right? But rossi says ''I stayed out of the bars specifically to avoid tempation.'' The choice whether to yield to that needs or not is ours only. That''s what makes the difference.

Sorry for the little digression rossi!

Agree with Adis 100%. Maybe this is a female POV, but its not the *sex* act - its the betrayal, loss of trust and also lies - she covered it up for a month.
It sounds as if Rossi is also feeling these things, he''s not just focused on the *sex* only.

Rossi, Please take the store credit, whether you plan on trying to make a go of it with her again or no. As mentioned previous, this necklace will only signify this difficult time.
If you do happen to get back together, than use the credit for a different gift.

Craigslist etc is an option, but you will likely take a loss and its more trouble..

But personally, I agree with the majority that it sounds as if you deserve better - I''m sorry for your hurt, I hope you find someone more deserving of your generousity.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 12/16/2008 4:28:52 PM
Author: perry
Rossi:

I am very sorry that you have to face this situation. I agree in part with Regular Guy. I suggest waiting a while.

If you do not know - I''m a guy - so here is my guy advice - from someone who''s been arround for a while.

As painful as this situation is, the fact is that many situations in life can be painful. Many things can go wrong that you or another did not plan for.

Marrages that last - often last dispite some very painful stuff. People can and do work through issues. You still seem to have some feelings for her... so perhaps there is something there that can be recovered.

The sign of a person is not in what mistakes they have made - or not in how others have treated them: It is in how they respond to mistakes and mistreatment.

A couple of hard questions to ask:

Why did you want to marry this person? Becasuse of her personallity, her beliefs, how well you do things together, for her money, sex, etc, etc, etc.

What happens to your relationship if one or more of those does not work out in the future. Can you counterballance a relationship on the other factors?

I have seen so many relationships get shattered by just one incident - and one incident handled poorly. Often how the incident is handled does more damage than the incident itself - but it can also do more good and pull you together as well if you handle it right. I suspect you have the capability to heal and build stronger ties if you want based on this incident.

I also point out that someday you may be the one that falls into temptation. How are you going to handle it if you do?

My biggest concern in a situation like this is not that sex occured. It is why sex occured, and why were you not informed in a more timely manner.

You will need to treat these as two separate issues - deal with only one at a time.

I suspect that if you did some digging into why the sex occured, that you will learn some important things about each of you that you can improve on either your future relationship - or your next one. It is even possible that both of you will be able to figure out a way to prevent - or at least greatly minimize - it from occuring again (on the other hand - you may also come to an agreement that in certain situations that it is OK: People do that).

Why you were not informed in a more timely manner. Again, likely much to be learned on both parties.

The biggest waste is that people spend years building relationships - and then toss them away based on a single or limited issues. It is the harder path initially to attempt to work through the issues - but long tem it is the easiest as you do not have to start over with another. Ask anyone who has been succesfully married for 50 years. They all have had major issues at one time or another - and the reason their marriage was successful was becasue they were willing to work it out.

Now it is also possible that after you learn more about the why''s that you will decide that in reality that this was not the preson for you. Fine. That will enable you to better find the right one in the future.


Perry

I''m with Perry on this one - relationships can be salvaged. You will know in your heart what the right answer is.

If you decide to continue the relationship, I would put the necklace away till next Christmas.

Otherwise, get the store credit.

My father gave my mother the e-ring he bought for the first girl he was engaged to as a first anniverary present and she loves it - it''s actually way nicer than the e-ring my mother chose for herself!

Personally a store credit wouldn''t bother me at all - in fact I''d feel less guilty about how much $$$ my husband was spending on me!

 

[geckodani]

Just to add my husband''s comment:

"Man, that sucks. I would totally go buy a kickass watch."

I''m with Pandora on the thought that if you decide to continue the relationship, hold onto the necklace until next year, or a birthday later on. If not, go for the store credit.

 

[SFDfirefighter]

Rossi,

Sorry you''re going through this -- keep your chin up!

I would definitely return the necklace for store credit -- who knows what you could use it for in the future? And in my opinion, no, it wouldn''t be strange to use the money for a new girlfriend down the line... it might be strange to give the actual necklace to another girl (just MY opinion!)

best of luck,

SFD