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For those who are divorced (or divorcing)

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Maisie

Maisie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 30, 2006
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12,596
Do you still wear a wedding ring? Did you take it straight off once you decided to divorce? I feel odd without a wedding ring on as I have children. I know there are many single parents out there and it shouldn''t affect me what people think. Should I see my bare finger as liberating? This is all very odd.
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I''m not divorced or divorcing but I do know of a couple of women who did and have kids. They went and bought a pretty ring to wear on their finger that doesn''t scream "married"... something silver or maybe religious. I feel like it says "my heart is taken by my children". Ultimately though, do what feels comfortable for you!
 
I think it depends on the person, and the reasons behind the divorce.

I say wear it until you''re comfortable taking it off.
 
I would see it as liberating! Maybe put the stone into a fun RHR or one you can wear on your left hand but the style doesn''t scream wedding ring. My coworker has been divorced for years and still can bring herself to take off her wedding ring
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I have been divorced with a child for a long time.
I stopped wearing my wedding and e rings right away.
I have thought of selling them but somehow
can''t bring myself to do it. Not sure why. It''s not because of feelings for my ex husband. We make better friends than mates and he has been remarried for years.
I guess it''s an important part of my life history.
That being said. I collect antique e rings and wedding
rings and wear them often.

The only thing I did in regard to my child is keep my ex last name so they would be the same.
 
I really loved my rings. I wore them on my right hand (almost same size ring fingers on both hands) for about 6-8 months. Then I was dating again and it didn''t feel right to have them on at all, so I stored them away for a while. This fall I sold my e-ring and am now in the process of selling my wedding band. Baby steps! It was far less traumatic for me to do things gradually where possible than use the ripping-off-a-bandaid approach.
 
My parents are mid-divorce. My mom stopped wearing her e-ring when she was ready to accept the divorce and began to embrace her new life. I think it''s different for everyone, but it''s definitely a process.
 
When my aunt got divorced, she put her ering and wedding band away and went out and bought a mother''s ring. It is platinum and has her and her daughter''s birthstones in an alternating pattern.
 
Ohhhhh
I''m going to get one of those
 
Date: 2/24/2010 9:24:50 AM
Author: PinkAsscher678
When my aunt got divorced, she put her ering and wedding band away and went out and bought a mother''s ring. It is platinum and has her and her daughter''s birthstones in an alternating pattern.
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we recently bought my mom a mother''s ring like this. she wears it on her ring finger, it''s soooo nice! she''s divorced, so she said she wanted something more "appropriate" to wear.
 
When to take your ring off is a personal decision. I took mine off a short while after my divorce because the people around me were making fun of me. It wasn''t easy to take off, since I had been wearing something on that finger for eleven years. When I did take it off, I just replaced it with a non-wedding ringish type ring, a tiny little antiquey looking ring with a curvy swoop of diamonds in it.
 
When my parents got divorced I was very young (2 years old). My mom stopped wearing her engagement ring/wedding band right away and went out and bought two other rings to wear (one for her right hand and one for her left). They were just gold rings with a pretty design on them, just so she would have something to wear on her finger (I think she just liked wearing rings). They looked nothing at all like a wedding band.

She set the old engagement ring diamond into a necklace and wore it for 18 years until I turned 20 - then she gave it to me as a gift to wear at my wedding. I wore it at my wedding for the first time and recently re-set it onto a plain chain and I now wear it every single day as a pendant. My mom knew how special and sentimental it would be for me to have the engagement diamond that my father had given to her so she saved it all those years for me. I can''t thank her enough for that - it feels so special when I put it on each day.
 
Thank you for your comments. Its true, it is a personal decision. I really don''t feel comfortable without a ring on yet. The mother ring is a great idea. I might look into that a bit more. Or maybe a couple of stacking rings, one with blue stones and another with pink. For my children
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I remember my mum gave her wedding ring to her friend when she got divorced. I was upset about that when I was older. I would have liked to own that ring now but its gone.
 
divorce = if i don't want the man, i don't want to wear the ring.

mz

ps in this day and age there are people who are married who never wore a ring in the first place and if i remember right your cheating soon to be ex is not the father of some of your children....so its a moot point.
 
I got married young (24) and divorced at 26. My first husband had a lot of emotional issues and was abusive as well. After the initial grief -I was happy to take the ring off my finger and move on emotionally. I found that I wanted people to know as quickly as possible that it was over so that people wouldn''t keep asking me about it, too.

I think it depends on where you are emotionally re: the divorce. If you''re ambivalent about it - it might feel more uncomfortable not wearing your ring. For me - it was definitely over, so I didn''t really hesitate about showing it publicly.

I didn''t have children, though - I can see how that would make you somewhat uncomfortable...but really, there are a lot of divorced/single mothers out there, as you said. Not every mother is married.

Do you think you''re feeling somewhat ambivalent about your status as a divorced woman, maybe?
 
I think you can be over the person you''re divorcing but still be grieving the loss of the marriage itself. I think that''s why it took me some time to stop wearing my rings altogether. Not only that, they were rings of substantial carat weight and looking back I find they were very much a part of who I thought I was, those possessions had become part of my self-worth.
 
You are correct MZ, he is only dad to one of them but he has been around for 8 years.

I''m accepting of the divorce but it''s going to take me time to stop feeling married I suppose. I know it''s going to be a long time till I will be ready to date again. I can''t imagine it at all really.
 
i took my rings off right away. But I''m with Monarch - I just loved the beauty of the rings themselves, so I still wear them on my right hand occasionally. Nothing to do with the marriage, just liked the stones!
 
I gave my .75ct e-ring diamond back to my ex the day the divorce was finalized. I had a cz installed in the YG setting that it came out of and I occasionally wear it with a YG insert ring as a RHR because that insert ring is more cocktail than wedding ring in appearance.

THEN, I went out and bought a really nice estate diamond ring that is almost a 2ct solitaire (8mm diameter but just a tad shallow) and it''s in a fishtail head w/ baguettes platinum setting. I wore that all the time as RHR when I lived in the city, but it''s too much for this small town that I moved to for employment. You can''t flaunt something that extravagant in front of small town families who don''t have money to buy groceries this week. So, that ring sits in the safe.

After that, I bought a smaller H&A RB from GOG, but found that couldn''t get the halo setting that I wanted for it. So, that stone at in the safe until Sept ''09 when I bought the 1.35ct F SI2 from GOG. I actually do wear it around town all the time. It''s so white and sparkly that people here just automatically assume it''s a fake, lol.
 
I don''t have any diamond rings left. I sold them. I''m regretting that though. I could have just traded them in for something else!
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Personal choice.

You might consider switching your rings from your left to your right hand. I''ve seen people (men & women) do this after divorce or the death of their spouse. I never really asked about it, but it seems to be that the right hand is for grieving a lost spouse. (except in those countries/cultures who wear wedding rings on the right hand rather than left)


My mom stopped wearing her ring right away. (I was almost 7). In a way, this helped me realize that it really was over between them.
 
Hi Maisie dear,

My parents recently divorced. My mom wore her rings for a while, maybe a couple of months, and then she gave her engagement ring to my sister''s BF so he could use the diamond in my sister''s engagement ring. At that point she felt comfortable taking off both of the rings, but she started wearing my grandmother''s engagement ring, instead. It''s a huge ring, it doesn''t look anything like an engagement ring, so she felt that was a good replacement.

Do what feels best to you, there''s no wrong answer here.
 
As others have said, I think that it''s a very personal choice. I personally think it''s odd to see divorced women wearing things that scream wedding set.

I love the idea of a mother''s ring, or some stackers though! Have your bling, with a different sentiment.
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My mom stopped wearing her wedding ring (or any ring at all) long before she divorced my dad. I guess they had a huge fight at one point and she took it off, but never put it back on... I never remember either of them wearing a ring at all. (Their rings were an example of When Custom Goes Oh So Very Wrong- they looked like puffy yellow gold donuts with pock marks.)

My good friend with kids recently divorced, after being separated for about a year. She took her rings off as soon as they separated, even before they divorced.
 
Thats a good point toopatient. It would send a clear message to the children. Apart from the youngest child, they all understand what wedding rings signify.

Thank you Haven and Gecko. You are right, it''s personal and each person probably feels differently. I am incredibly proud of being a mother so a ring (or two!) to show that makes sense to me.
 
I had a couple of ideas for you, for when you''re ready. Maybe a trio of rolling rings? Both married and single people wear those. Or the Bev K vine ring that someone on PS had made into a mother''s ring by Pearlman''s. It was gorgeous but I can''t remember who it was. Darned flukey memory...
 
Gemgirl they are great ideas! I love the vine rings. They are so pretty. I once got a trinity style ring stuck on my finger.
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Date: 2/24/2010 1:38:18 PM
Author: Maisie
Gemgirl they are great ideas! I love the vine rings. They are so pretty. I once got a trinity style ring stuck on my finger.
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That''s why I don''t have one myself (but I do love the one paved band rolling around in between the two high polished bands). I tried one on in Fortunoff, but it got stuck. They''re not so easy to get on or off, but they are pretty.

Maybe whoever has that Bev K ring will identify themselves!
 
I couldn''t take mine off fast enough! Also, I sold my wedding band and my e-ring setting as soon as possible. I had the diamond removed from the setting before I sold the setting, with the thought that maybe I''d have it set as a pendant or something. But, I''m realizing that I really don''t want to wear that stone at all, so I''m looking for a good way to get rid of it.
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Date: 2/24/2010 4:28:13 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
I couldn''t take mine off fast enough! Also, I sold my wedding band and my e-ring setting as soon as possible. I had the diamond removed from the setting before I sold the setting, with the thought that maybe I''d have it set as a pendant or something. But, I''m realizing that I really don''t want to wear that stone at all, so I''m looking for a good way to get rid of it.
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You can give it to me
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