Well I guess I owe everyone an update now that I've been trying out the bonnets for a little while now!
The tan one is... um... gone. Disappeared. Like POOF. I went to sleep with it on and when I woke up to pee in the middle of night it had come off. Whatever. At 3 am stuff like this is quite low on my priority list! But now I can't locate it. Not mixed in with the bedclothes. Not beside, behind, under the bed. Not anywhere. POOF.
That's a shame because I actually preferred that one over The Bonnet Of Death (a.k.a., the white flowered one).
That one brought me awake in a panic thinking I was being smothered in my own bed by a serial killer (hm... maybe I need to start reading myself to sleep with a different genre.. ). The thing had slipped forward and down and over my entire head. No joke. A satin bag Completely Over My Head. Now THAT was just a ball and a half in the middle of the night!

Maybe I can put a few stitches in the band to tighten it up a little... But right now the trauma is still fresh and I'm too afraid to try it again.
Maybe I just move around too much for something like this...? I think at this point I'm going to just suffer through and deal with the Medusa effect in the morning.
You people are The Best BTW. I could never have a conversation like this in real life!
ETA: I just remembered the nets. Still sitting in my Amazon cart -- forgot to complete the purchase. Senility at 50 is a terrible thing!!!