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First world problems....

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Blingloverbyday

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Aug 10, 2012
Messages
122
Hi everyone, I am not a super active poster by any means. But thought if anyone would understand my recent plight, it would be the lovely PS community.

A vendor on IG I have done business with a few times has an amazing knack for procuring beautiful jewels at extremely reasonable prices, IMO. Since pieces tend to go quick, I know that I also need to be super quick - pieces will sell literally within minutes of being posted.

Recently, the vendor posted something and I immediately inquired for more information as it was a unicorn for me. I let them know that I could remit payment immediately, but after we confirmed that I would be responsible for the PayPal fees should I return - I let them know I would have to think about it. I don't have an issue with doing business that way, but to potentially lose hundreds of dollars, I am trying to restrain my general impulsiveness! Lol, certainly not easy!

Unfortunately, in the minutes after the posting, I had work matters to tend to that required my full attention and I let them know I would be in touch in a few hours and understood the item might sell in the meantime. When I reached out to them later in the day, they shared it was still available and how it must be meant to be! Yay! As we are discussing the item, they tell me someone else is interested and will get right back to me. I am a little bit stumped and not sure if I am comprehending what they wrote accurately - like is it this same item? Or maybe someone is trying to buy one of their other pieces?

After several minutes, they come back and basically tell me it has sold. I am shocked, confused, and sad.

I understand that these online vendors must be dealing with many, in their own words, "flaky" consumers and I clearly must not have made it clear to them I was serious - I guess? But gosh, I will say that this experience has completely put me off working with this vendor ever again. As a repeat client, while they may not have recognized that, my latest purchase was from earlier this month - I just did not expect my last interaction to go the way that it had. Sigh....

Again, these are first world problems and there are much worse things! But for those of you who have read this, thank you for taking the time. I just needed a place to vent what happened. I feel so stupid that I c***ed up what probably would have been a forever piece.

Apologies if this might be the wrong section, maybe this belongs in Hangout?
 
This story does us no good without visuals. Now we are all intrigued by this forever piece!
All joking aside, if you can’t vent here about bling disappointments, where can you? I can totally relate to being let down—I didn’t pull the trigger on a baguette band because I wanted to sell my other baguette first.Then shut down happened. Then I called and Kept calling. Finally they open again but lo and behold—I was a day too late! I haven’t gone back to the shop bc I’m still pissed.
 
How upsetting. I think the golden rule is don’t hesitate if your heart has been stolen. Otherwise you can be left very sad.
just so you know, it’s PayPal who changed their rules. PayPal now keeps their 3% odd fee even if the sale is cancelled / refunded for any reason. So now Vendors / sellers have to say that any return or refund will be minus the $$ PayPal has already taken and is keeping.
So unfortunately even if the Vendor is happy to accept returns for any reason, if you paid via PayPal they are keeping the money!
 
Perhaps the other mystery purchaser offered them more money?
 
First one to say sold, sending money gets it.
That's the real world of small in demand vendors.
Sorry you missed it.
 
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Ugh I’m so sorry. That is upsetting. Without details that’s all I can say. But I am very sorry and hope you can find another unicorn. It’s possible. PSers have a knack for finding them. If you share details perhaps we can help.
 
I won't deal with sellers like that, generally. I'm not a bored housewife glued to Instagram all day and I really shouldn't need to be in order to hand over money.

While I do agree that the first to pay gets it, it sounds like you were ready to do so? Of course there's two sides to every story, but if this is the vendor I think it is, I can't say I'm surprised.
 
@nala - oh, I hope you find a better baguette band than the one you missed! Such a shame as it sounds like you were trying to purchase it before it sold. :cry2: As the IG and PS world are very close, if the buyer is another PSer, I don't want to rain on their happy interaction by sharing specifics.

@Bron357 - thank you for the advice. Yes, I am aware of the paypal policy, so understand small vendors (and maybe some large?) operate this way.

@missy - thank you. I think I will try to take a break from major bling purchases after this experience, at least for a short while. =)2

Thank you @GliderPoss, @Karl_K and @kb1gra for your comments too.

To add more context, yes, I was about to purchase the item. I had contacted the vendor to take that step. But for whatever reason, the vendor decided to sell to someone else. This wasn't a drawn out exchange with a lot of back and forth or negotiating, excluding the "hold" I was placed on, it was maybe 2-3 minutes. I think, looking back, it was purely down to me paying via PayPal and the other party using wire transfer. If not that, I really can't understand the tactics of the vendor.

Thanks everyone for letting me vent! =)2
 
Sorry you missed out, that sucks. Unfortunately, it sounds like the other buyer just beat you to saying those magic words, "I'll take it," even though only by a couple of minutes.

I semi-regularly feel like I missed out on a one of a kind deal when looking at jewelry online. Usually it's because I can't justify spending the money on the item in question rather than it being snatched away just as I reach for it, but it still feels like a lil stab in the heart. :(
 
If I understand correctly, the vendor put you on hold as you were making the purchase to sell it to someone else. That's not you missing out, that's the vendor being incredibly rude and unprofessional.

Imagine that happening in-person. You have an item out and are looking at it with an SA. You're intention is to buy it, but another customer walks up, points to it and says "I'll take that!" and the SA leaves you standing there while they package it up for the other customer. That would never fly!

All he needed to do was put the customer on hold or take down their information, come back to you and say he has another interested party who is ready to purchase (sounds like a sleazy sales tactic but in this case it was true), and ask if you want to complete the deal. If you said no or that you still aren't sure, then he may interrupt your discussion letting you know that he has a buying customer whom he'd like to service.
 
rainydaze said:
If I understand correctly, the vendor put you on hold as you were making the purchase to sell it to someone else. That's not you missing out, that's the vendor being incredibly rude and unprofessional.

Imagine that happening in-person. You have an item out and are looking at it with an SA. You're intention is to buy it, but another customer walks up, points to it and says "I'll take that!" and the SA leaves you standing there while they package it up for the other customer. That would never fly!...
Click to expand...

Well that makes sense too, if that was the scenario.

But since the original poster said the vendor's items are known to go super quickly, I could also see the other potential buyer (and possibly even more of them than that) also in discussions about the item with the vendor, or even put on hold for the vendor to answer the original poster's call. Certainly a disappointment for the OP regardless. :(
 
@seaurchin, thank you for your empathy!

@rainydaze - thank you - your analogy is exactly what I feel like I went through.

The ease and accessibility social media platforms can bring to vendors and consumers, yeah - while great, can lead to perhaps a lack of etiquette and respect. That may not be the best words to describe it. I think @kb1gra's input is also very insightful.

Definitely, my takeaway from this is the experience of buying jewelry should be just as enjoyable, or at the very least professional, and not some type of rat race or competition.

Thanks everyone =)2
 
Good point, maybe he interrupted another seller for the OP. However, that also leaves a bad taste in my mouth. She was the one he was in direct contact with at that moment, so I believe she's the one he should have finished dealing with before moving on to someone else. (Or if he was in direct contact with someone else and moved along to her, he should have finished with them before moving on to her. Talking to a person, on a call, is more direct IMO that emailing or texting or communicating through other social media avenues.)

Thinking about it more afterward, it occurred to me that the person who got the item may be an established buyer whom he knew would make a solid sale vs. the OP who was previously concerned with losing money should she return. In other words, he may have gone for the sure thing over the person who indicated there was a chance of returning the item (otherwise, why would losing the PP fees matter).

I suppose his shrewd decisions regarding how he makes sales contributes to him having such low prices. That's one way of doing business I guess. It's not for everyone, myself included.

I hope you are able to find an item that brings you joy, with a buying experience that is equally happy @virgo9 !
 
Thank you @rainydaze! I am not in any rush, so the next unicorn that pops up, I will be ready!

I actually know who the buyer is, small world, and this is their first interaction. But I do agree, some sellers feel the need to be shrewd. Based on the comments this vendor has made recently, especially in our current climate, they seemed to have had a string of unpleasant transactions. :(2
 
virgo9 said:
Thank you @rainydaze! I am not in any rush, so the next unicorn that pops up, I will be ready!

I actually know who the buyer is, small world, and this is their first interaction. But I do agree, some sellers feel the need to be shrewd. Based on the comments this vendor has made recently, especially in our current climate, they seemed to have had a string of unpleasant transactions. :(2
Click to expand...

It's the seller.

He has wonderful deals but he is, to be frank, a pain. He's made some beautiful things at good prices but if you want literally any information at all, too bad you're a PITA and he's selling it to someone else.

It's not a small purchase so while I don't expect to be coddled and taken out to dinner, I expect my concerns to be suitably addressed and to understand what I am purchasing and from whom. If that's too hard for a seller to handle, well. Not my circus not my monkeys as they say. My money is just as green.
 
could have looked at email or other social media and saw a message sent earlier saying sold sending money. To be fair they got it.
 
Hey, I can appreciate the arguments being made to somehow validate how this vendor behaved, but IMO, the situation was very much the online version of @rainydaze's analogy. I know I am only sharing my side, but short of sharing screenshots of the chat, which I don't think necessary, in the end I am ok, the vendor certainly is ok.

Not to be cryptic, but with trying to preserve the identity of the buyer and vendor, I know I was in touch with the vendor before the buyer. Again, it's a small world - and it certainly wasn't fun as the events unfolded in real time and I realized what was happening. :cry2:

Again, I am fine and have learned a good lesson! ;)2
 
Or it could be just what you suspected, virgo9. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I think a wire transfer is a better deal for a seller because it doesn't come with the chance for the buyer to file a dispute and get a refund like PayPal does.
 
seaurchin said:
Or it could be just what you suspected, virgo9. Someone correct me if I'm wrong but I think a wire transfer is a better deal for a seller because it doesn't come with the chance for the buyer to file a dispute and get a refund like PayPal does.
Click to expand...

That is correct, but in fairness to @virgo9 it is literally impossible to arrange and complete a wire transfer in the three minutes (or even five) that the seller was gone. If the other buyer did not already have the banking info before that conversation, he did not have the money when he went back and declared the item sold. It's entirely possible that he did choose the wire transfer offer, but if you don't want to take a particular payment method, don't offer it.
 
I’m so sorry this happened to you and I understand how heartbroken you must be. You got the rug pulled out from under you. It doesn’t surprise me one bit that this vendor would do something shady like that.
 
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