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First time pregnancy - worried - advice please

maryjane04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
1,069
Hi everyone, so I just found out on Monday that I'm expecting and due in November.

For the last 2 months I've done some pretty unsafe things and worry that it might affect my baby.

Things include:
- drinking alcohol
- eating raw foods
- donating blood
- getting laser
- got the covid vaccination :(

I'm wondering what you guys did to ease your mind. I'm going for my first ultrasound (a dating scan) next week but I'm so scared that something is wrong.
 

lulu_ma

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Sep 9, 2020
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1,005

maryjane04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
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Aww thank you @lulu_ma I did raise that with my doctor today but I guess those things aside anything can happen which freaks me out. Many of my friends have experienced miscarriages and stillbirths :(

I'll pop into the bookstore tomorrow to grab a copy of that book! Thanks for the recommendation :)
 

susiegrneyes

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jan 4, 2008
Messages
273
My OB told me this at my first appointment, which helped to put my mind at ease..."50% of American pregnancies are unplanned. Plenty of my patients have confessed to having a glass of wine every night before realizing they were pregnant. If that level of alcohol consumption caused birth defects, fetal alcohol syndrome would be much more prevalent than it is."
 

maryjane04

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Nov 21, 2013
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Thank you @susiegrneyes I think that's helped a lot. From that line I have realised that there's only a very small chance that things could end badly here and if it does, it's probably not such a bad thing after all. I guess we all tend to focus on negatives instead of focusing on the positive so I really appreciate that reminder <3
 

susiegrneyes

Shiny_Rock
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Jan 4, 2008
Messages
273
Thank you @susiegrneyes I think that's helped a lot. From that line I have realised that there's only a very small chance that things could end badly here and if it does, it's probably not such a bad thing after all. I guess we all tend to focus on negatives instead of focusing on the positive so I really appreciate that reminder <3

The risk for things to end badly is not insignificant (25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage) My first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and my doctor also told me that unless I was doing hard core drugs there's nothing I did or didn't do that caused it. It was likely a random genetic anomaly. My second pregnancy 2 months later was a healthy full term pregnancy and now a perfectly healthy toddler.
 

maryjane04

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Nov 21, 2013
Messages
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Thank you for sharing @susiegrneyes your personal experiences and congratulations on having a healthy baby! I'm really thankful for your perspective and it's given me reassurance. Hopefully I can stop thinking about this and go to bed. I can only hope for the best and everything else is out of my control.
 

meely

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
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Jan 2, 2014
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Congratulations @maryjane04 What exciting news!
I got into an absolute panic with my son that he was going to have FAS, I went to see a doctor about it as I was beside myself (I had binged over Xmas and normally I drank a couple of glasses of wine a night). He said it would need to be a lot more than that to make a difference. I stopped straight away and started taking all my folic acid and all was fine!
I cannot speak for the other worries you have but I suspect that the odds of a problem being caused by any of them are very low.
Try not to worry and get an appointment with your midwife/doctor (not sure how things work in Australia) and talk it all through.
 

Ionysis

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 1, 2015
Messages
713
That’s wonderful news for you!

Please don’t worry. I was at brunch every weekend from the time of conception to when I found out I was pregnant (surprise!) - and was probably out three nights a week on top. I’m a soft cheese fiend and I also smoked socially. Baby was utterly fine, and at the age of ten she has never even had to take an antibiotic in her life. Clearly I toughened her up in the embryonic stage!

It’s absolutely normal to worry and be anxious about a lot of things in your first pregnancy. But your body is designed to screen out harmful environmental substances as much as possible from your baby.

Stress however isn’t good for either of you. So do your best to relax and look forward to this exciting new experience.
 

123ducklings

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Joined
Jun 10, 2020
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793
Hugs to you @maryjane04 what an exciting time for you and your family! I wish you all the best in this new journey!

Do talk to your OB to ease your mind, but also know that the embryo/fetus is not sharing your blood supply for the first month or so of pregnancy. Try not to worry, though I know it’s easier said than done. Wishing you much peace and comfort during your pregnancy and beyond!
 

maryjane04

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Nov 21, 2013
Messages
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Thank you @meely - I am panicking about almost everything. The alcohol etc was in addition to! I am so glad to hear that a few drops of alcohol isn't going to do much though. I started on the folic acid a few weeks ago so at least that's a good thing. Here is Australia we see our General Practitioner/Family Doctor first - he orders all the blood tests and ultrasounds etc. I think once we get to about 16 or 18 weeks then we transition into the care of the hospital we are going to give birth at.

Thank you @Ionysis - I know too well about all the soft cheeses and drinks here and there. I have a love for raw fish though so that is going to be hard to change. "Clearly I toughened her up in the embryonic stage!" hahaha thank you for your reassurance. It means a lot to me. My first scan is in a week so I will try to relax from now until then.

Thank you @123ducklings - it is very exciting! My sister is also pregnant and due in August, my brother's girlfriend is pregnant too and due in July. My other sister just gave birth in November so it's all happening. I will try not to worry. I am really grateful for you guys taking the time to reassure me. It's really hard because it's so early on I cannot tell anyone I know and talk about it in case it ends in disappointment. So this means a lot.
 

Mreader

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
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1,411
First off - CONGRATULATIONS that is so exciting! I am prone to worry so I understand how your mind can spin. I seriously doubt anything you’ve done will have any negative affects. Big hugs!
 

maryjane04

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Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
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Thank you @Mreader
Yes it can be a bit much and it's so new to me as well. Haven't had much time to process this so maybe that is what I should be doing. Big hugs to you too! Thank you for your support!
 

Mreader

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
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Thank you @Mreader
Yes it can be a bit much and it's so new to me as well. Haven't had much time to process this so maybe that is what I should be doing. Big hugs to you too! Thank you for your support!

FWIW I delivered at 40 and no I didn’t give up coffee during pregnancy and yes I had the occasional glass of red.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Apr 30, 2019
Messages
10,907
Congratulations

I know nothing about pregnancy but im sure its not good to have excess worry

There are generations of us who somehow survived the womb while our mothers did the things that are now known to not be so safe for the unborn baby

I mean just the fact mother's don't smoke while pregnant now must be a huge health benifit to the baby

Just try to relax, look after yourself and do what ever your health provider recommends

what is done is done so no use worrying about that sushi or glass of wine now

its a wonder my entire generation doesn't have fetal alcohol syndrome- but its important to note most of us don't !

Enjoy and let loved ones fuss over you because the next 18 to 50 years you will have enough to worry about as this baby grows up
 

maryjane04

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Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
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Thank you @Mreader and @Daisys and Diamonds

It really makes me feel so loved being on PS and having you guys reassure me. I guess because it's so early I can't tell anyone in real life :( so I am kinda doing this alone for now.

I think these days we are being overly cautious but I would hate to feel guilty about something down the track.

*fingers crossed* that everything goes well and I can update you guys in a little more than a week how it's going! <3
 

Asscherhalo_lover

Ideal_Rock
Trade
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Aug 16, 2007
Messages
5,059
If anything read "expecting better". Before the placenta is developed you're pretty much on auto pilot and you don't share a blood supply. I found out I was pregnant just a few weeks after the initial COVID shut down in NY, trust me I had been day drinking PLENTY. Harrison is the happiest 4 month old I could have hoped for. GL with your appointment!
 

maryjane04

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Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
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If anything read "expecting better". Before the placenta is developed you're pretty much on auto pilot and you don't share a blood supply. I found out I was pregnant just a few weeks after the initial COVID shut down in NY, trust me I had been day drinking PLENTY. Harrison is the happiest 4 month old I could have hoped for. GL with your appointment!

Aww thank you so much!! I'm in a much better headspace this week. I've had about a week to come to terms with it all and started reading that book that @lulu_ma suggested. I've had my blood tests, just waiting on the first ultrasound on Friday (2 more days) then back to the doctors next week. Fingers crossed and thank you so much. Congratulations on the birth of Harrison <3
 

GoldenTouch

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2018
Messages
270
Congratulations!

Please try & relax & enjoy your pregnancy.

I know it can be a very stressful time but you can’t change what has been done.

My mother’s generation were never told to not drink or smoke.... (she got very drunk in black Russians while pregnant with me).... we know better now but if you didn’t know please don’t beat yourself up about it!

If you are going private in Australia you could see your OB earlier if need be.

I had many losses before I had my daughter (& was undergoing fertility), but with each pregnancy I saw them early. It took me a long time to fully accept that the losses were NOT due to anything I had done, eaten etc.
When I was pregnant with my daughter I was the most relaxed out of all of them (5 in total) I think part self protection on my behalf...
I was so ill I couldn’t keep anything down for months - even the folate. I was still throwing up in labor. I thought she would of been effected but she was just fine and perfect.

Wishing you all the best for a healthy, happy pregnancy!

Such an exciting time.
 

ItsMainelyYou

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Joined
Jun 27, 2014
Messages
1,574
I had given up on a baby the first time as we'd been trying for several years...wasn't even on the radar. Went to a friend's party and drank and danced the night away. Pleasantly sloshed and a good time was had by all.
Well guess what, a few days later I found out we had grown our first gummi bear! I freaked. My midwifeNP just laughed, patted my belly, gave me a hug and said, "It's going to be fine."
That particular gummi bear is almost 17 now. He's been talking about pursuing Constitutional Law... He's alright.
It's going to be okay, you're going to screw up a lot, it's called parenting.
Breathe, don't sweat the small stuff.
Congratulations, maw maw!
 

asscherisme

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 6, 2006
Messages
2,944
Hi everyone, so I just found out on Monday that I'm expecting and due in November.

For the last 2 months I've done some pretty unsafe things and worry that it might affect my baby.

Things include:
- drinking alcohol
- eating raw foods
- donating blood
- getting laser
- got the covid vaccination :(

I'm wondering what you guys did to ease your mind. I'm going for my first ultrasound (a dating scan) next week but I'm so scared that something is wrong.

Please relax! A HUGE percentage of people walking around this planet were unplanned! I have 4 kids, only two were planned. The ones who were planned and I did everything perfect before are no healthier than those who were my surprise babies. My child that has developmental issues was one of my planned babies when I did all the things textbook. I love sushi and I ate a lot of it with one of my kids before I found out I was pregnant and also drank and went in a hottub. That child is now in lawschool!

I agree with the others that say women use to be exposed to all sorts of things. My mother's generation was advised to drink a glass of two of wine at day to relax when pregnant. My mother unfortunately was an alcoholic who took that the the extreme when pregnant. My father smoked- everyone it seemed smoked in the late 60's when my brother and I were born and I can't imagine how much second hand smoke she was exposed too. Yet somehow my brother and I had healthy childhoods and he has a PhD, I have a masters degree.

I read that pregnant women who get the covid vaccine pass along that immunity to their baby.

So in short, now you know. You will be careful from this point forward. But don't worry about what you did when you didn't know. Your baby will not suffer from it, it was so earlly.

Enjoy this time. The daydreaming, the planning.

I am happy for you!
 

maryjane04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
1,069
Thank you so much for all your kind words and reassurance @GoldenTouch @ItsMainelyYou and @asscherisme

I guess all I can do is try my best. I had my first ultrasound today and everything was good. Baby was a tiny little blob but had a really strong heartbeat. I also went to an ultrasound training centre where they train new doctors how to scan and they spent a lot more time with me. Explained that my sac was really healthy. When they scan the baby, they also scan the surroundings and they say a healthy mum will give the baby the best start to life. Besides being overweight I'm pretty healthy so I am really thankful for that.

I am so relieved and appreciate all your comments to help keep me positive up until this point.
 

GoldenTouch

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 9, 2018
Messages
270
Thank you so much for all your kind words and reassurance @GoldenTouch @ItsMainelyYou and @asscherisme

I guess all I can do is try my best. I had my first ultrasound today and everything was good. Baby was a tiny little blob but had a really strong heartbeat. I also went to an ultrasound training centre where they train new doctors how to scan and they spent a lot more time with me. Explained that my sac was really healthy. When they scan the baby, they also scan the surroundings and they say a healthy mum will give the baby the best start to life. Besides being overweight I'm pretty healthy so I am really thankful for that.

I am so relieved and appreciate all your comments to help keep me positive up until this point.

Lovely to hear all is good! I’m so happy for you.
I hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy!
Don’t worry about your weight. You may put on less than those who are under weight! I put on 35 kg when pregnant (But needed to...).
It comes off after.
As long as you are healthy & so is your baby that is all that matters! xx
 

asscherisme

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 6, 2006
Messages
2,944
Thank you so much for all your kind words and reassurance @GoldenTouch @ItsMainelyYou and @asscherisme

I guess all I can do is try my best. I had my first ultrasound today and everything was good. Baby was a tiny little blob but had a really strong heartbeat. I also went to an ultrasound training centre where they train new doctors how to scan and they spent a lot more time with me. Explained that my sac was really healthy. When they scan the baby, they also scan the surroundings and they say a healthy mum will give the baby the best start to life. Besides being overweight I'm pretty healthy so I am really thankful for that.

I am so relieved and appreciate all your comments to help keep me positive up until this point.

So glad the ultrasound went well! I am glad you feel relieved too. There is nothing more amazing than that first ultrasound where you get to see the heartbeat!
 

maryjane04

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 21, 2013
Messages
1,069
Thank you @GoldenTouch - I just hope for a healthy bub at the end of this and a little worried my extra weight will add some risks. I am eating a lot better now and still exercising so at least that is good :)

Thank you @asscherisme - I am so relieved! I go back to the doctor this week to get my results from the blood test and the ultrasound. Then nothing until the 12 week scan so fingers crossed it's all moving smoothly. My EDD is 28th November!

Thank you @mjea and @seaurchin for your well wishes :)
 

Dandi

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 9, 2006
Messages
5,979
@maryjane04 congratulations!! So exciting! It's absolutely normal to be anxious so early in pregnancy, especially your first, it's all so new and unfamiliar. Yay for your first scan, that first sound of a heartbeat is amazing. Try not to worry, I doubt that anything you've done throughout your pregnancy thus far would have any effects. Sounds like you're doing all the right things. Keep us posted on your journey!
 

Begonia

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Feb 2, 2011
Messages
2,502
The top list of things will very likely have no effect. The covid vaccine? My sister had vaccinations while pregnant with her daughter (didn't know she was pregnant, like you). That girl is 23, a nurse and healthy as a horse and smart as a whip. Now you know you're pregnant and the next few months you can take exemplary care of yourself and then show us that beautiful baby. I'm delighted for you!!
 
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