First comes love, then comes marriage...........

[MBKRH]

I'm sorry if this has been brought up before. But............ for you LIWs, how many of you want kids?


Personally, I don't. I've known since I was about 12 that kids weren't for me. I cannot stand their high-pitched shrieking, screaming, etc............
Also, I have no maternal instincts. When I hold babies, it doesn't feel natural. I'm all too eager to pass the kid back off to their parents.
I've never changed a diaper, and I've never had the desire to learn how. When I attempt to communicate with a child, it feels forced and uncomfortable.

So, here I am, 18 years later. I still feel the same. Obviously I have a non-existent biological clock (or a broken one).
My laundry list of reasons for not having kids spans to 20 items. No joke.

I'm honestly 99.99% sure that I do not want them. The remaining .01% lies within the fact that M would be a great dad. And deep down, I think he'd like some kids. But, he's much like me in the sense, that yes, we're selfish. We enjoy OUR time. Getting up when we want. Sleeping in. Being able to do/see whatever, whenever (money permitting). We own nice things. We live paycheck to paycheck and can barely sustain, let alone trying to provide for a child. Not having to deal with vomit, poopie diapers, play groups with parents we'd rather not know, etc.........

I'd like to say that I enjoy children, but............ I don't. They are repulsive to me. I just can't bring myself to WANT to spend time with my friends' kids.... is that terrible?

Coworkers were showing off picture of their childrens' halloween costumes. And I didn't get up from my desk to look. I had no desire.

I think something is wrong with me. I mean, every woman SHOULD have the desire to comfort/mother a child, whether it be her own or not. But not me. I quickly turn the other way.

So obviously, my reason behind marriage is not for procreation, but commitment. I just want to know that I will be loved, respected, and admired, with no underlying desire for children to force my SO into a married relationship. There's no clock ticking. Just a finger that's looking more dry, aged, and depressed, day in and day out.

Just seein' where you ladies stand on this.....

 

[sonnyjane]

Well, I'll let you know that there is nothing wrong with you, or at least if there is something wrong with you, it's also wrong with me

I think that my husband and I will probably not have children. I never wanted kids growing up, but I also never thought I would get married. Once I got married, I figured maybe the kids thing was also up for debate. My DH and I would talk about "when we have kids" blah blah blah and I totally went along with it because I figured that was the logical progression. Then all of my friends started having babies and I began to feel a slight "twinge" of baby fever. I could imagine us all going to the park, our first trip to the zoo, meeting Mickey at Disneyland, Christmas mornings... I was excited about those things. But then, as I heard more and more stories from my friends that had their babies and watched as they went from my fun-loving, vibrant friends to haggard, sleep-deprived "moms" that told me that they could no longer afford the time or money to do anything with their friends anymore, I lost enthusiasm. I also realized that I had no desire to do the daily stuff (feeding, burping, bathing, changing diapers). I only wanted the fun stuff.

I was still on board though because I knew that my husband was getting pressure at work about "when will you two finally have a kid?" (we have only been married for four years but in our community, that's an eternity). I was planning to try to get pregnant late last year/early this year, but then I found out I had cancer last September. I underwent surgery and treatment in November through January and was told that I would have to wait at least one full year (so February 2013) to try to get pregnant. That mandatory waiting period definitely cooled my jets.

Everything came to a head when my husband and I flew to Kauai on a 6 hour flight in front of a screaming, kicking child. The child's parents, unable to calm the baby, proceeded to themselves bicker for the 6 hour flight as well. When we got to our hotel, we made a b-line for the Adults Only pool, ordered some cocktails, and enjoyed the quiet. At one point, a 12-ish year old boy tried to come into the adult pool and my husband and I complained to our waitress, who promptly asked him to leave. That was my "a ha" moment in that I realized I want nothing to do with this "kid" thing. DH and I LOVE being able to just pick up and go to Vegas for the weekend, or Cabo, or off to Maui for a week. We get annoyed when my cat starts meowing for breakfast at 7:00 AM, so surely being awakened at 1, 3, 5, and 7 for feedings will not go over well with us. The average child NOT including college costs about $400,000 from birth to age 18. That's a lot of money that DH and I could use to enjoy ourselves with, and could certainly buy us a very, very nice house in the place we would like to retire. DH and I talked about it a lot on that vacation and decided that we would both be fine with not having them.

I won't go so far as to say we will NEVER have kids EVER, because who knows, in a few years maybe I'll have a drastically different view, but I am 30 currently, and know that I have no desire any time soon, so if I don't feel that "urge" in the next, oh, 5 years at least, I'd doubt I'd ever have them.

This decision has not made me popular among my friends that have kids. I stopped getting invited to things and people still try to convince me to have children all the time, but that really just pushes me more away from idea. And to be fair to myself, I've never said I "HATE" kids or anything like that. I have to interact with a lot of kids at work and do a great job of it. My friends that have kids just automatically have assumed that if I don't want kids, I'm not "the same" as they are and they have alienated me quite a bit. I'm just their "single" (even though I'm married) friend that goes on trips, goes out to dinner and drinks a lot, and spends all day in my pajamas on my weekend, while they "actually have important things to do". That's where my great divide seems to be right now.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

No kids here either! I am 28 and SO is 34. We want 2 doggies. I have always grown up with dogs and so has he, so as soon as we get a house we are getting 2 pups. We actually can have them where we live, but our schedules don't really allow for it since I'm still in school and work full time . I do keep reminding him though that a puppy would be a GREAT grad present in 1 1/2 years hehe.

My mom is kinda OK with our decision as I have been a broken record with the same response forever...lol, my dad thinks if you don't want them, you shouldn't have them lol and I agree. Our friends keep saying to me "oh you'll change your mind!"...no I won't! nothing goes up my butt more than someone saying that a million times....so much so that my SO had to have a talk with his friends (that have kids and bring it up all the time) that if they bring it up again I might self combust....I respect their decision to have kids so I would like them to respect my decision not to! I really got upset once because they kept going and my response was "if I ever get pregnant it won't be for longer than 24 hours!!!!" I felt bad after saying it....but they pushed me to it (and it is the truth lol)

Our decision to not have kids stems from the act neither of us wants a business relationship. We have all seen it...people have kids and life is about where little Johnny is, who's picking him up...etc etc. we want to be in a loving romantic relationship forever. We want to travel and explore the world. We want to buy things without feeling guilty....we don't want to worry about anyone but ourselves and our dos..lol. Selfish? Yes!

People always say....well who's going to take care of you when your older? And then I have to tell them that having children does not mean that you will have an automatic caretaker! I work I the medical field and there are plenty of people coming in with NO family support...no one visits them etc....

Ok sorry...disorganized rant done!

 

[sonnyjane]

People always say....well who's going to take care of you when your older? And then I have to tell them that having children does not mean that you will have an automatic caretaker! I work I the medical field and there are plenty of people coming in with NO family support...no one visits them etc....

Ok sorry...disorganized rant done!

That argument never makes sense to me for two reasons. First of all, there is no guarantee that your kids WILL take care of you! I am the oldest of three kids, but two of my siblings (26 and 1 are legal misfits that are unemployed and still living at home! A lot of promise they hold for the future...

Also, with all the money I will save by not having children, I will have a very, very comfortable savings account so that I can afford to go into assisted living when that time comes. Why would I want to burden my children with taking care of me when I can pay people that are trained to do it?

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

That argument never makes sense to me for two reasons. First of all, there is no guarantee that your kids WILL take care of you! I am the oldest of three kids, but two of my siblings (26 and 1 are legal misfits that are unemployed and still living at home! A lot of promise they hold for the future...

Also, with all the money I will save by not having children, I will have a very, very comfortable savings account so that I can afford to go into assisted living when that time comes. Why would I want to burden my children with taking care of me when I can pay people that are trained to do it?

AMEN!! You said it much better. I TOTALLY agree!

 

[MBKRH]

You both sound just like me! I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants to spend time with my (future) hubby; traveling, enjoying each other's company, and not being weighed down by kids.

sonnyjane- I'm so sorry to hear about your bout with cancer. I can't even imagine what you went through during that time. **Hugs to you.**
You make a lot of valid points- and isn't it shocking the cost to raise a child? I read an article on Yahoo not to long ago about that. That just blows my mind! And then, obviously that's just one. What about those who have more? That's just nuts to me. And then what if you have a "failure-to-launch" child, who's still with you at 30 years old and MAYBE working a part time job? *shudders*

I never wanted kids growing up, but I also never thought I would get married. ...all of my friends started having babies and I began to feel a slight "twinge" of baby fever. I could imagine us all going to the park, our first trip to the zoo, meeting Mickey at Disneyland, Christmas mornings... I was excited about those things. But then, as I heard more and more stories from my friends that had their babies and watched as they went from my fun-loving, vibrant friends to haggard, sleep-deprived "moms" that told me that they could no longer afford the time or money to do anything with their friends anymore, I lost enthusiasm.

I agree 100% with you there.


lovelikecrazy- M and I want dogs, too. We can have them at our apt, but it's too expensive really (pet application fee is $250 PER PET, and then $40 a month PER PET). So we're going to wait until we get out of the world of renting and get a house (whenever that day comes).
My dad is not okay with my decision to be childfree, but my mom thinks it's the bees knees. She could care less, which I love about her. One less person putting pressure on me is awesome.

neither of us wants a business relationship. We have all seen it...people have kids and life is about where little Johnny is, who's picking him up...etc etc. we want to be in a loving romantic relationship forever. We want to travel and explore the world. We want to buy things without feeling guilty....we don't want to worry about anyone but ourselves and our dos..lol. Selfish? Yes!

You said it perfectly.



I don't know, I guess I'm just irritated with relatives that are putting pressure on me to have a kid. I'm like, "Excuse me?! I'm not even married yet! Go bug [little sister who's been married 10 years] about it, will ya?

 

[MBKRH]

People always say....well who's going to take care of you when your older? And then I have to tell them that having children does not mean that you will have an automatic caretaker! I work I the medical field and there are plenty of people coming in with NO family support...no one visits them etc....

Ok sorry...disorganized rant done!

That argument never makes sense to me for two reasons. First of all, there is no guarantee that your kids WILL take care of you! I am the oldest of three kids, but two of my siblings (26 and 1 are legal misfits that are unemployed and still living at home! A lot of promise they hold for the future...

Also, with all the money I will save by not having children, I will have a very, very comfortable savings account so that I can afford to go into assisted living when that time comes. Why would I want to burden my children with taking care of me when I can pay people that are trained to do it?

I just about fell out of my chair with that! Legal misfits.... love it!

 

[maebelle]

The SO and I definitely plan on having kids, I guess it helps that I think even the "every day" stuff is as fun as Christmas Morning and Disney World. I just love watching kids learn about the world. I think kids enrich peoples lives, not take away from them.

That said, I think not having kids is a valid, completely normal choice.

 

[pandabee]

(Sidenote: I totally thought this was more list movement!!)

I don't think there's anything wrong with your biological clock. Some people just don't want kids. I see no problem with that. You admit that you like having "you" time and that's great! I think if you were to become a mother though, your priorities would realign themselves but if not, life continues.

As for me, I love kids!! Don't have much experience with babies, but I love my little cousin (around 4 years old) and I LOVED being a canon counselor. I had kids in my cabin 8-12 usually and the camp went up to 15 year olds, so I interacted with the whole range when I was at the pool or arts and crafts or during meals. I hope I did okay with those kids lol.

 

[MBKRH]

(Sidenote: I totally thought this was more list movement!!)

pandabee - LOL, I just realized that this morning. When I started the topic last night, I was a few beers deep. I'm not good with titles, really.
I think your interaction with kids as a counselor helped. I never really had opportunities like that. When all my younger cousins were born, I was a bit too young to babysit. I never babysit other people's kids as a teenager, either. I think that might have a bit to do with my decision.

maebelle, I can see your point too. I also think it depends on the parents. There are some really great parents out there, who raise fantastic kids. And then there's the parents who shouldn't be, raising good kids, but not getting the full enjoyment out of it.

Deep down, I know I'll never be a mother. I have no maternal instincts whatsoever.
If I am walking down the sidewalk and see a mother with a stroller, and walking a dog, my eyes immediately go to the dog. The stroller may as well be invisible, to me.

 

[sonnyjane]

Deep down, I know I'll never be a mother. I have no maternal instincts whatsoever.
If I am walking down the sidewalk and see a mother with a stroller, and walking a dog, my eyes immediately go to the dog. The stroller may as well be invisible, to me.

So funny! At work, if someone pushes a stroller by, my co-workers will look into the stroller and give a "squeeeeeeeeeeeeeel" or make some other comment about the "cute little baby", meanwhile to me, a stroller is an inanimate object - a prop - something I have to dodge while walking. I think there have been very, very few times when I saw a stroller and actually peered in to see the baby.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

(Sidenote: I totally thought this was more list movement!!)

Deep down, I know I'll never be a mother. I have no maternal instincts whatsoever.
If I am walking down the sidewalk and see a mother with a stroller, and walking a dog, my eyes immediately go to the dog. The stroller may as well be invisible, to me.

thats me too!

 

[madelise]

Hi ladies,
I don't get it. How can you NOT want babies? I think you're in denial. You do, and you will want them one day.


Haha. JK. Ew. It doesn't matter if its reproduction, sexual orientation, political preference, or even what color socks you're wearing; People should have no right to tell you that you are "wrong" with your choices, so long as they don't hurt anyone else or break any laws or moral codes. You and your SO's opinions and wants is ALL that matters.

I grew up thinking I never wanted kids. NEVER. I hate babies, I hate boogers, I hate crying. Yes, they're cute. For a few minutes. Until they cry. My first serious serious boyfriend, the ex right before SO, knew I never wanted to get married, and I never wanted kids. I can get my baby/kid fix by working with children, and go home to a nice, clean and QUIET house. If I ever get baby fever, I can babysit for a friend, and let them go out for a night out, and I am sure my baby fever will resolve itself. Then.. I don't know what happened. There was no epiphany. There was no magical angel baby I met. I wanted to get married, and I was thinking about babies.

I get baby bug every once in a while. SO really wants babies. So I'm caving. I'm not going against my own wants, since I want them too. It's a decision that SO and I made together, and no one outside of the two of us will change that.

So there's obviously nothing wrong with you, OP, since the replies show you that WE also have similar thoughts! If anyone chooses to think of you as "less than" because of your life choices, then they don't deserve to be in your life. YOU don't deserve to deal with their BS commentary. I like cutting people out of my life It means less birthdays to remember!

 

[audball]

I really really really hate when people can't respect your choice/position on whether or not to have children. Something that is a VERY HUGE deal and is totally and completely life altering. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to or that you shouldn't. Your choice, either way.

Andrew and I have very openly discussed having kid(s). At this point, we're both almost 26 and will probably marry within the next 2 years. We're both fairly certain that we want to have one child. Neither or us are sure if we want more than one and have agreed to cross that bridge when(if) we come to it.

We both agree that we think we could honestly be happy with or without child(ren). We have a long list of financial goals and know that if we do decide to have a family, that one child will make it easier on us financially to achieve those goals and be able to help our future kid to do and have things that our parents couldn't provide. (ie: college, etc).

We've been flamed several times for considering having an only child...like that is some sort of curse. We've decided to only consider two cities to settle in, either where we are now (near all of his family) or a few hours north of where we are now (near all of my family). Our future kid will grow up around cousins, friends, neighbors...it's not like he/she will be all alone.

Ultimately it comes down to us being unsure of where we'd like to see our paths go. In some ways we feel like we'd be missing out by not having a child and that's what keeps it in the forefront of our minds. I also have friends with multiple kids and they all seem exhausted and miserable, not to mention financially drained. I think that's part of what has fueled us to consider either have one child or having no children.

We have a list of financial things we'd like to achieve before having a family if we choose to take that path. At the earliest, we don't see it being an option on the table for at least 7 years, if not close to 10. We know that we'll be in our mid to late 30s if/when we choose to take that step.

As for furry children...we currently have a cat and a dog. They're both older and we expect (as sad as it is to think about) that they'll both pass before we choose to start a family. Darwin is 11 (cat, expectancy ~15-18 years) and Mimi is 10 (miniature schnauzer, expectancy ~12-15 years). Both are in good health and we spoil them and take good care of them! We certainly pray/hope/expect that they'll top out at the high end of traditional life expectancies for the species/breeds. We have gotten the pleasure of experiencing the joys of owning both felines and canines and both have many pros/cons. We *think* we have decided on two kitties in the future. Time will tell...

 

[Chewbacca]

WHY do some people insist on pushing their opinions on others?

As for me, yes, we want kids one day? We both imagine we will become parents, but can't yet imagine ACTUALLY deciding to do it. I would love to raise a family, we both had great upbringings, I'd love to experience it again from the other end!

SIL has stopped saying that she doesn't want kids, because people don't react as badly to 'perhaps one day'. I have never met a more non-kid-friendly couple in my life, I can't believe people continue to insist they should have them in the first place!

 

[sonnyjane]

WHY do some people insist on pushing their opinions on others?

As for me, yes, we want kids one day? We both imagine we will become parents, but can't yet imagine ACTUALLY deciding to do it. I would love to raise a family, we both had great upbringings, I'd love to experience it again from the other end!

SIL has stopped saying that she doesn't want kids, because people don't react as badly to 'perhaps one day'. I have never met a more non-kid-friendly couple in my life, I can't believe people continue to insist they should have them in the first place!

This is really horrible, but I'm a horrible person deep down I guess so....

People ask me and my husband when we are "finally" having kids... they ask us this a LOT. Any work function that either of us attends is "Where are YOUR kids?" or "When will you two be starting a family?" or "You have been married a while now, haven't you? And still no kids??".... I finally, at my husband's company picnic, just said "I can't because I had cancer".... it's not a total lie... I did HAVE cancer last year, and I am not currently supposed to try. I CAN try in a few months but don't want to, but you better believe that it shut them the hell up for the rest of the picnic. And for anyone reading, it was just thyroid cancer, and I'm all clear now, I just was looking for a good way to effectively quiet the questions.

 

[Chewbacca]

Firstly, congratulations on being cancer-free sonnyjane!

Ooo girl, that'll do it! Its just a shame that you were pushed to your breaking point! People can suck. I'm amazed that anyone tries it on with SIL, she may be married, but they are very young! I guess particularly older generations equate marriage with babies - no matter what! A couple of older woman have knitted her baby clothes already.

 

[sonnyjane]

Firstly, congratulations on being cancer-free sonnyjane!

Ooo girl, that'll do it! Its just a shame that you were pushed to your breaking point! People can suck. I'm amazed that anyone tries it on with SIL, she may be married, but they are very young! I guess particularly older generations equate marriage with babies - no matter what! A couple of older woman have knitted her baby clothes already.

Wow really!??!?! I don't know how I would respond if someone knitted me baby clothes before I was even expecting a baby!!!!

I am very lucky that I have no pressure from my family to have kids. In fact my 83-year-old grandma told me just last week to "not have kids and just enjoy your life" lolol. Oh Grams hahaah. My husband has 3 other brothers so I know his parents will get grandkids from at least one of them. My brother had a child out of wedlock (well...paternity results pending) and that turned into a big disaster with his now-ex, so my mom has no desire to have any (more?) grandkids after that debacle.

 

[pandabee]

Oh goodness sonnyjane. Sucks that people are so inconsiderate and plain nosy!! Glad to hear you are doing well now. My dad had thyroid cancer as well about six years ago. Not a common one so it was pretty scary at the time but all is good now!

 

[gem_anemone]

I think that it's becoming a more popular choice to not have kids. I have a lot of friends who plan to not have kids, so in my circle it's not unheard of. There is still somewhat of a stigma associated with not having kids, depending on who you are talking to, but it's not nearly as bad as it used to be! It's definitely more accepted. I occasionally hear things like "it's selfish" or that "you'll change your mind", but not nearly as often.

My husband and I would like to have at least just one. I feel like I would be missing out on part of life if I did not experience it. I know my husband would be a great dad and he really wants a kid. I never wanted kids until my late twenties. It wasn't until I was faced with the real possibility of not having them that made me realize I did want them. Mainly I used to not want them because I thought I would never be in a position to be able to care for a child without sacrificing my whole life and all my money. Like others, I would be miserable in a loveless financially struggling marriage simply to have a kid. However, I think if you plan carefully and are with the right person you can have it all. Maybe that's the optimist in me.

That said I disagree that it is certain that the romance will leave our relationship once we have a kid. I feel like this can happen to any couple (childless or not). We are both well aware of how the stress of having a kid can ruin a marriage. We have talked about it and we are both committed to not allowing this to happen. I feel like as long as we are considerate of each other, plan carefully, and don't get over our heads financially that we will be able to keep each other happy. Also I disagree that traveling is off the table once you have a kid. We have done some together as a couple and will go at least one more place before a baby. We also plan to take the kid places when he/she is old enough, so we would only really sacrifice traveling for a couple of years. We do like sleeping in, but I think sacrificing sleep for a year or two will be worth it. It's not something that lasts forever. Hell, we already go to bed early and get up early and barely go out on weekends anymore, so it may not be so much of a change for us (aside from late night feedings). I think diapers are nasty too, but it's just a phase.

 

[audball]

Wow...really? Baby clothes? We're pretty sure we want a kid and that would freak me out before I was actually pregnant! Yikes.

I have friends who don't want kids who have a standard answer of "we're unable to have children, but thanks for reminding us." (It's not true, they're not infertile, but it shuts people up quickly. I don't necessarily condone lying when there are people who are infertile and upset about it, but it's really nobody's business whether or not you'll be procreating.)

 

[MBKRH]

Thanks for your support, ladies. As I stated before, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who feels the way I do.

And SMH at someone knitting baby clothes for your SIL, Chewy! If someone did that to me, I'd say "Oooh, thank you! My American Girl doll was in need of a new outfit!" (Of course, I no longer own the doll, but hell- they don't know that!)

 

[Chewbacca]

I know right! She 'accidentally' left them at the in-laws house, where I believe they will remain.

 

[audball]

I know right! She 'accidentally' left them at the in-laws house, where I believe they will remain.

Good for her.

 

[lkc84]

If someone did that to me, I'd say "Oooh, thank you! My American Girl doll was in need of a new outfit!" (Of course, I no longer own the doll, but hell- they don't know that!)

LOL

BF and I do want kids. I'm pretty much set on having 2, possibly 3, preferably within 2-3 years of each other. I have such a good relationship with my siblings that I want to try to give my future kids the same thing. BF is certain about at least 1, with more "up for discussion" after we have the first.

I find it absolutely ridculous what people who don't want children (or people who want to wait awhile) have to deal with. Everyone has a right to decide for themselves what is right for them without getting boatloads of crap from friends/family/total strangers. There is no right or wrong way to live your life.

 

[Lady5]

I definitely want kids when I feel the time is right, but I completely get not wanting any.

SO wants kids yesterday. He literally wants them asap, which I'm not down with. I guess my reasons for wanting to wait are similar to those who have said they don't want any at all. Can I live? I mean...I've spent my whole life in school. When I finish grad school I want to enjoy being young for awhile. I want to experience life a little first. Call me selfish, but babies can wait!

 

[madelise]

I definitely want kids when I feel the time is right, but I completely get not wanting any.

SO wants kids yesterday. He literally wants them asap, which I'm not down with. I guess my reasons for wanting to wait are similar to those who have said they don't want any at all. Can I live? I mean...I've spent my whole life in school. When I finish grad school I want to enjoy being young for awhile. I want to experience life a little first. Call me selfish, but babies can wait!

DITTO TO THE CROSSING OF THE T'S! SO wants kids like NOWNOWNOW. Um, hello? I'm in school, stupid. And I also want to enjoy at least a year or two after school, to travel, to sleep in and to sleep late.. to enjoy each other's company without crying.

 

[audball]

I definitely want kids when I feel the time is right, but I completely get not wanting any.

SO wants kids yesterday. He literally wants them asap, which I'm not down with. I guess my reasons for wanting to wait are similar to those who have said they don't want any at all. Can I live? I mean...I've spent my whole life in school. When I finish grad school I want to enjoy being young for awhile. I want to experience life a little first. Call me selfish, but babies can wait!

DITTO TO THE CROSSING OF THE T'S! SO wants kids like NOWNOWNOW. Um, hello? I'm in school, stupid. And I also want to enjoy at least a year or two after school, to travel, to sleep in and to sleep late.. to enjoy each other's company without crying.

Agreed. I don't feel like I need the time to be sure of our strength as a couple, I wouldn't marry him if I didn't feel we were IT. But we've both in school for YEARS. We're finally going to both be making decent money and have more free time. I totally want to take advantage of that. I want to pay down our loans super quick. I want to get xx amount of money in savings, etc. I want to sleep in, eat out, take trips. Just enjoy being young, out of school, married, and relish in the freedom we have for awhile before settling down to start a family. We're both almost 26 and can't even fathom kids in the picture before our early 30s. Mid 30s even sounds okay to me since we're likely only going to have one child.

 

[Lady5]

Oh. Something else to consider....

Your body will never be the same. EVER AGAIN. I can't handle that right now. I want to enjoy my nice young body while I can. I know some people bounce back easily, but I've also seen some pretty severe cases of stretch marks. That scares me.

All the more reason to wait.

Just a thought.

 

[madelise]

Oh. Something else to consider....

Your body will never be the same. EVER AGAIN. I can't handle that right now. I want to enjoy my nice young body while I can. I know some people bounce back easily, but I've also seen some pretty severe cases of stretch marks. That scares me.

All the more reason to wait.

Just a thought.

What if someone *cough*me*cough* doesn't have a body that's nice?