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Finding out her ring size (and keeping it a secret)!

E

ExcellentCut

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jan 12, 2011
Messages
8
Hello all!

I hope to propose within a month so it is decision time soon on the diamond but also crunch time for finding out her ring size! I was hoping that you could kindly suggest ways that I could find her ring size without her knowing. In my case, she has a ring on her right hand that she wears almost all the time (but getting my hands on it has been impossible in the last couple of months) and no other rings (it is also possible that her left and right fingers are different in size). I have enlisted her sister's help but no news. It would also be difficult to get it resized because we live in Australia and I am thinking of paved diamonds in an eternal setting.

Although they have not been suitable for me, here are suggestions I have read for others that may be interested in the future:

Ways of getting a hold of the ring

  • Offer to have her jewellery cleaned

Once you have the ring

  • Go to a jeweller to measure the ring
    Trace the inside of her ring with a pencil
    Put it on your own finger and mark the spot
    Make an impression of the ring in a bar of soap, piece of clay

Ways without a ring

  • Buy a ring for sister, mother, female friend and ask her to come along as a hand model
    Get a friend to ask for her ring size
    Wrap a thin strip of paper or tie a string around her finger and mark where the paper/string overlaps itself.

Thank you! It would be very much appreciated!
 
I have a friend (this guy is really strange though) -- he literally felt the size of her finger and guessed from there. He is nuts, but it worked.

What kind of finger shape does she have? Does she have a finger where the fleshy part is bigger than the knuckle (chubby)? Or does she have a finger where the knuckle is bigger than the fleshy party (bony)?

I ask because there is a lot more wiggle room with a chubby finger. I have chubby fingers and I have been sized in anything from a 6 to a 4.75. I'm wearing the 4.75 and it's tight, but my diamond does not spin at all. I could wear a 6 and it would not fall off, but wouldn't be as secure as the smaller size. I met a jeweler once who guessed me at a 5.5 (right in the range) by looking at me -- he said "Most girls your size wear a 5.5" ... this isn't something I would recommend unless you could find that guy again. =D

Now, if she has a bony finger, guessing her size will be much harder. The ring has to be big enough to fit over her knuckle bone, but whatever fits over her knuckle will spin. So I'd go just big enough to get it over her knuckle (and keep in mind that you'll need sizing beads or a horseshoe later to keep the ring from spinning, but these can be added).

Given the uncertainty about her size, I'd really suggest a 3/4 eternity over a full eternity. 1) Finger size changes over the seasons. 2) Finger size changes over the course of the month. 3) Finger size changes with salt intake (dramatically, in my case). 4) Finger size changes with pregnancy. 5) Finger size changes with the time of the day. 6) Finger size changes with the width of the bands (wider bands = bigger size, smaller bands = smaller size). 7) Finger size changes with....you get the picture.

Also, diamonds on the bottom = asking to get lost. I knock the palm side of my ring on everything. You have to be extra careful with an eternity pave band...
 
I'd enlist one of her friends to help you. Have the friend ""spontaniously" suggest they try on engagement rings but have her really have called the jeweler before hand with the goal (ring size) and then see what they can figure out together.
 
Enlisting friends and family will def make things easier! Did really none of those options work for you?!?

A good option is for one of her girlfriends to take her to the mall for example, and pretend to look for a ring for herself and get her finger measured and curiously ask your FF to get measured with her!

Good luck!
 
My friend just went through the same dilemma!

In his case, he gave her a very detailed form he came up with that she had to fill out. The reasoning was so that he would always know her size if he wanted to get her something. This included all sorts of random detailed questions like hat size, wrist size, etc. beyond the normal clothes and shoe sizing. Buried in there was her ring size. :D

I don't think she had any clue since she was so distracted trying to measure things about her no one had ever asked about before.
 
TwinkleStar|1294887754|2821294 said:
My friend just went through the same dilemma!

In his case, he gave her a very detailed form he came up with that she had to fill out. The reasoning was so that he would always know her size if he wanted to get her something. This included all sorts of random detailed questions like hat size, wrist size, etc. beyond the normal clothes and shoe sizing. Buried in there was her ring size. :D

I don't think she had any clue since she was so distracted trying to measure things about her no one had ever asked about before.
Click to expand...

Misdirection is one of the best ways of getting information out of anyone. My uncle got married 5 years ago and I wanted to get him and his wife champagne flutes, but didn't know her taste. So I sent her some links saying I was buying some for myself and asking her opinion to help me.

Any of your lady's friends can claim they want to try stuff on (heck even the CZ rings at Nordstroms have sizes on them) drag your lady along and then say... "Hmm... I'm not sure which ones I like... maybe if I see them on another person, here you try them on so I can see what they look like, what's your ring size?" And bam, you got the information you need. And if you want to you can even offer to pay for the 30 dollar CZ ring from Nordstroms.

You just need to get one of her friends in on it and be a little devious. :devil:
 
Thank you for the inspiration everyone! It is much appreciated. Please keep them coming if you can, particularly for future readers. Thank you also for the helpful tips regarding finger shape and eternity rings - she has fingers leaning on the bony side and I will probably chose a half or 3/4 eternity as she uses her hands a lot for work (thanks Antelope).

I might have to think about being devious although I had pulled a surprise birthday party for her very recently involving distractions and covert information gathering so she is on high alert. We have also been talking about marriage not so long ago so I do not want to spoil this surprise. I may have to enlist an accomplice. I may have another go at the paper/string trick.
 
I also suggest going 3/4 instead of full eternity because of resizing. To me, even a slight 1/8 of a size makes a difference in terms of spinning and comfort etc. I only know what size I am because I have a lot of rings.

Trying it on the store never gets you the perfect size but close enough. Rings fit differently depending on style and width of the band. If you enlist a friend to go to a store .. make sure they are trying on rings that are close to what you are thinking of buying Perhaps you can have a friend drag her to a store to get her own finger sized ... and then your gf might get hers sized too.

The string never worked right for me.
 
Knowing that the date is going to approach in the next months or so, I have often had the exact same question about how to get the ring size. We've been dating for 5 years (yes i know, a long time :D ) so I feel like having her friend ask her for her ring size or even to have her try one on while shopping would be a major clue. A few weeks ago, without even thinking about it, I took off one of her rings and put it on my finger (it wouldn't go down more 1/4 of the way ish). I really wasn't thinking about it at the time, and didn't mark (nor remember) what finger I put it on or exactly how far it went down, but I think if I can pull it off again, I may go this route.

Does anyone know how accurate this would be? Within 1/2 size? 1 size? I know its hard to tell, but I just feel like it may be just a shade better than an educated guess.
 
scepture|1294905998|2821461 said:
Does anyone know how accurate this would be? Within 1/2 size? 1 size? I know its hard to tell, but I just feel like it may be just a shade better than an educated guess.
Click to expand...

This can work but you have to be very precise as to what you do. Her ring has to be the from the right finger, you have to remember exactly how far the ring went down on your finger (and remember which finger you used! :o ) Using the ring sizer from your vendor of choice, choose the size that fits tight down to the point you marked and that should be the one.

We have done this here at our store, but the guy was very particular and did everything right and it worked.

You've had some practice so next time you should be good! ;)
 
Hello all!

Good news! I had her colleague measure the size of her ring. It was covert enough for me as she does not know that her colleague and I know each other.

The only downsize is that her colleague measured the ring at 10.5, which seems quite big - she's 5'7 and very slim with slim fingers as I have mentioned - but it's the only thing I've got to work on.
 
What finger does she wear it on?? My right pointer finger is 2-3 sizes bigger than my left ring finger..

Also, my ring finger on my right hand is a full size bigger than my ring finger on my left hand.. I know everyone is different, but she may be like me??

If I were you, I'd try to get a better idea of what her ring size is.. 10.5 seems awfully large, especially if you're describing her fingers as slender.
 
She wears it on the right finger but I am told it is very similar to her left finger in size.

Thanks for the tip - I think it is worth investigating further. Perhaps her hands may not be slender but they're certainly not thick.
 
yes, 10.5 is large. How did she measure? Also, as other posters have said, the right hand is usually larger than the left, and even 1/2 size can make the ring feel too large. It is definitely possible for slender women to have large fingers but I would make sure before ordering!
 
ExcellentCut|1295240025|2824718 said:
Hello all!

Good news! I had her colleague measure the size of her ring. It was covert enough for me as she does not know that her colleague and I know each other.

The only downsize is that her colleague measured the ring at 10.5, which seems quite big - she's 5'7 and very slim with slim fingers as I have mentioned - but it's the only thing I've got to work on.
Click to expand...


My SIL, who at 5'7 is probably 110 soaking wet, wears a size9 thanks to very large knuckles, so it is not unheard of. But it is unusual, so I would have her get measured again - professionally this time. If she turns out to really wear a size5..well, that could be a bigger problem than you want to have to deal with if you go with a complicated, pave'd or eternity design..

If keeping the secret is very important to you perhaps buy a set of metal sizers in the shank thickness you are considering (there are a ton, here is one possibility) and have the colleague use that?
 
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