FI not as excited as you are?

[Octavia]

GoingCrazy, my FI is the same way. I''ve given in on most of what he''s asked for, because I''m happy that he''s taken an interest in those things. Some of his suggestions are kind of outlandish, though (his newest suggestion is to have a nudist wedding because we''d save so much on attire costs

...I''m almost certain that he''s joking, hehe). He wasn''t into choosing a caterer until he realized that we got to try food, and now he''s eagerly awaiting the cake tasting. But he''s really not much of a planner in everyday life, so I never expected the wedding to be different, and I''m really not sweating any of the details either -- it''ll all come together in the end, and as long as we''re dressed, fed, and most of all, married, everything else is what it is. It has definitely helped to keep expectations low for both of our roles in this

 

[tlh]

my nowDH was PSYCHED for the wedding day, reception!... so I''d start to be normal again - and less frazzled/stressed out. we both longed for the honeymoon. That was AWESOME!

 

[bee*]

D is looking forward to being married but not really looking forward to the wedding as such. Although he''s been so picky on details so I think that he might be more into it than he thinks!

 

[musey]

I think that that's totally normal

that's of course where the whole "the wedding is all about the bride" silliness comes from (at least in part).

It took my husband awhile to actually seem excited about the wedding. He was looking forward to it, and happy that it was happening, but hardly giddy over planning/details (though he definitely participated almost equally with me). About two months out he started seeming actually 'excited.'

 

[alli_esq]

if it were up to my FI, we would have gotten married at city hall and probably wouldn''t even have invited my parents. He just never thought it was that big a deal, mostly because he comes from a family where they just don''t celebrate anything (i.e. his mother emailed him on his birthday this week. just emailed. didn''t even call. and his father of course didn''t even mention it.)

my family is the total opposite--we use every possible excuse to see each other and to make each other feel special and loved and to see our family friends (who are really just as good as family to us), and the thought of not making a big deal of such a momentous occasion in our lives would never occur to any of us. I love a party, and although a "big wedding" isn''t for everyone, it''s something that I would always regret not having if we didn''t do it.

also, FI and I have lived together for over a year and a half, so not much will change when we get married--we are already committed to each other, obviously, and weplan on having kids, but not for years...so although he''s happy that we''ll be married, it''s not like he''s jumping out of his chair at the thought of the party. he did say to me on Wednesday night that he was looking forward to seeing everyone and that it will be nice to have everyone there for us, but he just doesn''t care at all about any of the details and even though I rarely talk about anything wedding-related with him, he seems to get annoyed to have to hear about it at all.

I mean, FI and I are extremely close--we are each others'' best friends--and we spend lots of time together and make each other laugh, and we often talk about how lucky we are and how happy we are that we found each other...but this event just doesn''t mean as much to him as it does to me. He likes the idea of saying our vows in front of the people we love, and he likes the idea of commemorating the event...but it''s not like he gets a thrill to think about it like I do.

maybe it''s because it''s so far away (11/20/09), or maybe it''s just because of his upbringing. I don''t know...but it makes me sad some days to think about that. he and I think alike so much of the time--but this just isn''t one of those times...

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 3/20/2009 9:56:56 AM
Author: alli_esq
if it were up to my FI, we would have gotten married at city hall and probably wouldn''t even have invited my parents. He just never thought it was that big a deal, mostly because he comes from a family where they just don''t celebrate anything (i.e. his mother emailed him on his birthday this week. just emailed. didn''t even call. and his father of course didn''t even mention it.)

my family is the total opposite--we use every possible excuse to see each other and to make each other feel special and loved and to see our family friends (who are really just as good as family to us), and the thought of not making a big deal of such a momentous occasion in our lives would never occur to any of us. I love a party, and although a ''big wedding'' isn''t for everyone, it''s something that I would always regret not having if we didn''t do it.

also, FI and I have lived together for over a year and a half, so not much will change when we get married--we are already committed to each other, obviously, and weplan on having kids, but not for years...so although he''s happy that we''ll be married, it''s not like he''s jumping out of his chair at the thought of the party. he did say to me on Wednesday night that he was looking forward to seeing everyone and that it will be nice to have everyone there for us, but he just doesn''t care at all about any of the details and even though I rarely talk about anything wedding-related with him, he seems to get annoyed to have to hear about it at all.

I mean, FI and I are extremely close--we are each others'' best friends--and we spend lots of time together and make each other laugh, and we often talk about how lucky we are and how happy we are that we found each other...but this event just doesn''t mean as much to him as it does to me. He likes the idea of saying our vows in front of the people we love, and he likes the idea of commemorating the event...but it''s not like he gets a thrill to think about it like I do.

maybe it''s because it''s so far away (11/20/09), or maybe it''s just because of his upbringing. I don''t know...but it makes me sad some days to think about that. he and I think alike so much of the time--but this just isn''t one of those times...

Ditto on everything (except the kids part). We went out to dinner with his friends last night and the girl asked about wedding planning, and FI kept elbowing me to be quiet because he didn''t want to hear about it.

 

[panda08]

Date: 3/19/2009 2:51:40 AM
Author: trillionaire
Not currently engaged, but I wonder how this is going to go when we do get engaged. I want to elope, period. I will have a VERY hard time getting excited about a normal wedding, because I will be horribly disappointed that we are not eloping. (I think vows are far to intimate to want to share with a venue full of people, and I can think of better things to do with thousands of dollars...)


I believe that he prefers a wedding, because he wants his family there. (I can understand that... esp now that his brother was diagnosed and being treated for cancer) Anyway, if he wants a wedding, he gets one of course, but I don''t know how enthused he is going to be to plan it. If he wants a wedding, he is taking the lead and can delegate tasks to me. Yes, we have had this discussion already

(lol, everyone who knows me knows that I don''t want a wedding, and they have all offered to plan it for me!)


So yeah, I am a bit apprehensive about how all of this is going to play out...

You are EXACTLY like my FI and I am EXACTLY like your BF/soon to be FI.

 

[Kelli]

When I get stressed about how much there is to do, I''ll say "let''s just go to Vegas!" His response, EVERY TIME, is "I''d go this weekend!" I know he''d be just thrilled if we blew off the whole big wedding and just eloped in Vegas. My family (and me too) would be really disappointed though, so we''ll be having a somewhat large one. He''s not super excited like I can get at times, but he does want specific things. He was REALLY into us getting married on our ten year anniversary for sentimental reasons, and he had the idea to use our one year dating anniversary ring as my wedding band. He''s an engineer, so he''s really excited about a titanium and meteorite wedding band I found for him. He was very specific in what he thought a wedding dress should look like, and throws venue ideas at me every once in a while. We''ll be paying for it mostly ourselves, and he makes a LOT more than I do, so essentially it''ll be him footing most of the bill. I really appreciate everything he IS willing to do, given that this really isn''t his thing. Is he excited about the details like I am? HECK NO!! But he is willing to participate, and I appreciate that enough to not care that he doesn''t give a hoot about the flowers.

I don''t know many guys that do care about the girly details really. I wouldn''t worry too much, unless it really just comes down to the fact that he''s not helping. I can see where that would be annoying.