Feeling bad about ring.......

[jsmith]

Hi everyone! I''m new here, but have a dilemma. I was recently married and am completely happy in my marriage! Honestly, everything has gone 100 times better than I ever expected! I have this nagging feeling that I can''t get rid of though---while I love my engagement ring and wedding bands, I can''t stop thinking about wanting a bigger and better rock. I feel horrible about it since I always frowned at others wanting to upgrade their rings. My husband has jokingly said himself that maybe we should get me a bigger stone since most of our friends are getting/have bigger and better rings. I really don''t feel like I''m comparing myself to our friends---I truly just want a bigger ring (and have since he proposed). I feel awful thinking the way I do. Would it be wrong to eventually upgrade or get a totally new set? Am I totally being selfish and should I just stop thinking?

HELP!!!!!

 

[belle]

hey jsmith! welcome to ps

i think you''ll find (especially around here) that many people decide to upgrade their ring. there are as many different reasons as there are people doing it, but the bottom line is, if you can afford it, there is no reason not to.
ps be sure to look at the ering eyecandy folder......there are *lots* of pretties to look at!! good luck!

 

[sevens one]

Upgrade, down grade, change your setting, change your band,
keep the original and get a totally new set. Whatever!

It all happens- don''t feel bad about it.

 

[Jennifer5973]

If you can afford it, just do/get what you want and be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy or unsettled because of an engagement ring!

 

[BLINGQUEEN]

Date: 1/22/2005 7:54:20 PM
Author:jsmith
Hi everyone! I''m new here, but have a dilemma. I was recently married and am completely happy in my marriage! Honestly, everything has gone 100 times better than I ever expected! I have this nagging feeling that I can''t get rid of though---while I love my engagement ring and wedding bands, I can''t stop thinking about wanting a bigger and better rock. I feel horrible about it since I always frowned at others wanting to upgrade their rings. My husband has jokingly said himself that maybe we should get me a bigger stone since most of our friends are getting/have bigger and better rings. I really don''t feel like I''m comparing myself to our friends---I truly just want a bigger ring (and have since he proposed). I feel awful thinking the way I do. Would it be wrong to eventually upgrade or get a totally new set? Am I totally being selfish and should I just stop thinking?

HELP!!!!!

Welcome jsmith

I''m glad you have a happy marriage. That is the most important thing. Don''t let your desire for a larger ring put a damper on your happiness. You can always upgrade maybe on your 5th anniversary. Until then, why not get a couple of little diamond bands to place on either side of your ering to give it some ''umph''. Please don''t feel bad, we all experiance ''diamond shrinkage syndrome'' no matter how big our stone is. Just go back over some old posts in the SMTR thread. You''ll feel right at home.

These ladies (and guys) are a great suppport group so don''t hesitate to ''vent'' whenever you feel the need. We all understand what your going through.

 

[rosy]

Don''t feel bad, we all get shrinkage syndrome. Look at me I have a 1.85 carat, large by anyone''s standards but I want a 2-2.5 carat. Have you considered resetting your diamond into a taller setting? That will help it look larger. By the way you didn''t mention but how big is your stone?

 

[qtiekiki]

Don''t feel bad. If it makes you feel any better, I want a bigger ring ever since I got on PS and that''s only a couple of months after my engagement and I am not even married yet.

. I think if you can afford it, then go for it and be happy.

Rosy, How come you give a range of 2 - 2.5 ct for your upgrade??? 2 ct isn''t that much bigger than your 1.82 ct??? Just curious.

 

[rosy]

Date: 1/23/2005 12:40:57 AM
Author: qtiekiki
Don''t feel bad. If it makes you feel any better, I want a bigger ring ever since I got on PS and that''s only a couple of months after my engagement and I am not even married yet.

. I think if you can afford it, then go for it and be happy.

Rosy, How come you give a range of 2 - 2.5 ct for your upgrade??? 2 ct isn''t that much bigger than your 1.82 ct??? Just curious.

Hi,
You''re right most people that look at my ring thinks it''s two carats. I''m honest though & tell them it''s 1.85, almost two carats. My fiancee says I should just tell them it''s two carats because most people don''t even know what a two carat looks like. I''m too honest however. I think 2.5 is more like it for me. A 3 would be too big & a 2 too small.

 

[DiamondsRagirlsbestfriend]

How wonderful that you''re have beautiful relationship! Enjoy!

I think it''s okay remember that the ring and your relationship are two different things. Yes, the ring is a symbol of your union and committment to one another. But IMO, it''s okay to want a ring that you enjoy wearing day after day.

Does the store where the stone was purchased have a trade up policy?

Anniversaries are a wonderful time to celebrate your partnership - and a new stone could be a great way to do so.

 

[sistagrl2004]

I am curious.. what is the size/shape of your current stone? Sometimes resetting can change the entire look.

 

[sjz]

Hi. I''m new here, too. I just had to tell you that it''s ok to be not quite satisfied with your stone. My original engagement ring was chosen by my husband (then boyfriend). He had no clue about what kind of ring I would like, because we had never discusssed it. We just happened to be shopping one day, and we were looking in a jewelry store at other jewelry, not engagement rings. The next thing I knew, he looked at this one ring and told the saleslady "I''ll take it". He had purchased it before I had a chance to even realize what he was doing. The ring was not a solitaire, but had a marquise center stone with two baguettes on either side and tiny channel set stones on the band. He put it on my finger right there in the store. What could I say??? I had always wanted a solitaire, and to be honest, I wasn''t a fan of marquise stones. I always had envisioned a round solitaire on a plain gold band. A few years after we were married, I finally got up the nerve to ask him if he minded if I traded it up for a round stone. He was perfectly fine with that, so I did it. I got a diamond that wasn''t really all that much bigger, but at least it was what I wanted. I''ve had the opportunity over the years to even trade that one up for a larger stone, but I''ve decided I''m happy with this one. I am having it reset in a different mounting, still a solitaire, but one that will have the diamond sitting up higher, which I''m told makes the diamond look bigger if it''s done correctly. I think you should do whatever will make YOU happy where the ring is concerned.

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

I traded up from a 0.25 carat total weight ring to a 3.0 carat total weight ring.... I don''t feel bad about it. People *may* frown upon it (not at PS) but it is your life, your ring, your finger. Like others have said, if you have the means, why not?

 

[windowshopper]

Date: 1/22/2005 8

2

7 PM
Author: sevens one
Upgrade, down grade, change your setting, change your band,
keep the original and get a totally new set. Whatever!

It all happens- don''t feel bad about it.

yes ditto----------i love jewelry and designing my own pieces so i am on my third "e-ring".................

 

[yanekie25]

I have to agree with the other ladies. I think you should be happy with the ring and changing it does not mean anything about your relationship. It is jewelry.

ITA on this "Life is too short to be unhappy or unsettled because of an engagement ring!"

 

[codex57]

It's just a symbol of love and intention to marry. Absolutely nothing wrong with upgrading. If there's sentimental value to the ring, then just keep it when buying an upgrade instead of sellign it. I fully intend to eventually get my gal an upgrade later on. I just can't afford a monster right now cuz we've got other expenses to worry about. However, when we can afford it, we're gonna go look for a bigger stone.

And it doesn't have to be a ring either. My gal's not into rings. We just did the whole e-ring thing cuz that's what everyone expects. She'd much rather have a diamond pendant instead. So, when we get the upgrade, it's gonna be a diamond pendant instead of a bigger ring. Get what you like and what makes you happy (that you can afford of course).

Don't feel bad at all. It's practically expected to get an upgrade. When my buddy was shopping for his e-ring, the shop owners he talked to said it was cute watching young men look for e-rings, but their big money was when they come back 10, 15, 20 years later for the upgrades.

 

[Bagpuss]

Quote
"When my buddy was shopping for his e-ring, the shop owners he talked to said it was cute watching young men look for e-rings, but their big money was when they come back 10, 15, 20 years later for the upgrades. "

Yup, he''s absolutely right! That was us parting with the big bucks - 25 years on

 

[jaysonsmom]

I''ve been married 4.5 years, and I''m working on my second upgrade (3rd e-ring). My husband understands that I love jewlery, and love changes, and it has nothing to do with not loving what he gave me originally....

I think as long as my left ring finger has SOMETHING pretty that I like to look at everyday, he''s happy. He''s also proud of the fact that he has the ability to get bigger and better things as we grow together. Sounds like your husband feels the same way. If that''s the case, you shouldn''t feel guilty.

 

[boody09]

I fear that my future wife will think the same thing. Hopefully whiteflash will still be around so that I can UPGRADE! Good Luck.

Cheers

 

[PrincessBride]

Date: 1/22/2005 7:54:20 PM
Author:jsmith
Hi everyone! I''m new here, but have a dilemma. I was recently married and am completely happy in my marriage! Honestly, everything has gone 100 times better than I ever expected! I have this nagging feeling that I can''t get rid of though---while I love my engagement ring and wedding bands, I can''t stop thinking about wanting a bigger and better rock. I feel horrible about it since I always frowned at others wanting to upgrade their rings. My husband has jokingly said himself that maybe we should get me a bigger stone since most of our friends are getting/have bigger and better rings. I really don''t feel like I''m comparing myself to our friends---I truly just want a bigger ring (and have since he proposed). I feel awful thinking the way I do. Would it be wrong to eventually upgrade or get a totally new set? Am I totally being selfish and should I just stop thinking?

HELP!!!!!

IMO, I think you shouldn''t upgrade you ring, but get a entirely different ring. Have your husband give it to you when you renew your wedding vows on your 5th or 10th year anniversary. It''ll be romantic and sweet. Then keep your originally engagement ring for your grandkids as grandma''s engagement ring and share your proposal story. They''ll always remember it and you.

 

[Carey]

First of all, congratulations on your happy new marriage. Believe me, that IS the most important thing! But it sounds like you''d be happier with a larger ring, so work towards getting one for a furture anniversary - that way the new ring will have sentimental value as well. Some of my friends have included their original diamond in new three-stone rings, and they are always so happy to point out their original diamond. Try not to dwell on the shortcomings of your ring in the meantime - after all many women marry without a diamond at all because they can''t afford it (I did!) and have to wait a long time till they get their sparklie!

 

[Allisonfaye]

I think you will find that there are two types of people: those that approve of upgrading and those that don''t. You just have to decide if you want it bad enough and if it will bother you that some people do not agree with what you are doing.
I upgraded mine after only two years. I wasn''t happy with my original setting because it was filagreed and got very dirty and I didn''t truly love the stone. I was trying to find something but I compromised my standards due to $$ contraints.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 1/27/2005 5

4:12 AM
Author: PrincessBride

Then keep your originally engagement ring for your grandkids as grandma''s engagement ring and share your proposal story. They''ll always remember it and you.

After upgrading, original stones also make GREAT pendants

The idea of passing on jewelry pieces really appeals to me. I have most of my mother''s jewelry including her eng. diamond and rings (the diamond is in a pendant now) and these pieces will pass on to my kids (or grandkids) when the time comes.