FAM thread

[Elmorton]

Since a bunch of us have been talking about the Fertility Awareness Method on the BC/libido thread, maybe it''s time to branch out over here

I started charting for the first time this cycle (as well as reading Taking Control of Your Fertility) and I have a lot of questions as some conversation starters!

First - do your charts look like the samples in the book? I''m terrified that my charts are going to look like an unreadable mess.

Second - checking cervical fluid/position: did it take awhile to get used to this? Did you misread these signs for the first couple cycles or was it easy?

Third - anybody know of mac compatible software? the demo from the book/website apparently don''t work for mac.

 

[puffy]

try the TTC thread. they have a ton of info for you and i''m sure all the ladies over there can answer any questions you might have.

 

[Elmorton]

Will do - but it should probably be noted that the convo over in BC/libido thread is more FAM for birth control rather than pregnancy. Of course these things intersect, but I was hoping to start a thread for bc rather than ttc.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/4/2009 12:25:31 AM
Author: Elmorton
Will do - but it should probably be noted that the convo over in BC/libido thread is more FAM for birth control rather than pregnancy. Of course these things intersect, but I was hoping to start a thread for bc rather than ttc.

Sounds like a good idea to me. I hope this thread will help many....

 

[puffy]

gotcha... i totally mis-read it. sorry...

 

[Elmorton]

No prob, puffy! I was pretty unclear in the first post. I did click over to the ttc thread though - not going to lie, it was a little overwhelming! but it was cool to skim though and see some real charts - there is a TON of info there, you're right about that!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Elmorton Actually, a bunch of us TTCers and "graduates" were really obsessed with charting and CF and everything else, I know I became a bit of an "expert" in the months I used FAM to conceive . Love of all things charting started in the TTC thread around the time I joined, so if you wanted to learn a lot, then try reading from about May 2008 up until the present... you can skim a lot and hone in on the charting stuff. I know I posted a lot in there about how to assess CF and all sorts of things.

To answer your questions though:

1: Your chart will look different than the ones in the book, in all liklihood. Those are idealized charts and in real life things are never as cut and dry. I personally wouldn't use FAM exclusively for TTA (trying to avoid) unless I had charted for about 3-4 months. After that amount of time you will know a bunch of things that are really important: a) what is the typical range of your pre-O temps; b) what is the typical range of your post-O temps; c) what type of temp shift do you typicallt have? (e.g., slow rise, fall-back rise, quick leap etc); d) how long is your luteal phase; e) when in your cycle do you tend to ovulate, is it regular or does it move around; f) what type of CF actually coincides with ovulation for you. All of these things are essential to understanding your cycle and essential, IMHO, to trusting FAM as a bc method. Another great place to see charts is www.fertilityfriend.com and they have free charting software that you can access from any computer.

2: These signs take at least 3 cycles to really figure out, and if you just came off the pill it can take longer. CF is really affected by hormonal birth control. I know mine was NON-EXISTED my first full cycle off the pill and didn't really become "textbook" until my third cycle off the pill when I conceived. For most women, there are a couple tricks that make assessing CF easier. First, drink a lot of water. This will increase your production of CF and allow you to assess it better. It is important to note that drinking more water won't make you more fertile if you are TTA. What it does is make the CF more "flowy" and thus easier to sample so you can acutually tell when ovulation is approaching and hence when you should abstain. If you don't drink water, the CF will just hang out up by your cervix, and you will still be fertile, you just may not know it! haha.... The second thing that helps assess CF is to use the "puppetmaster" technique. You can thank Amberwaves for that wonderfully evocative name! This technique involved inserting two fingers held together into your vajayjay until your feel your cervix, then separating your fingers and little and running one around each side of the cervix until the fingers meet again, then pulling them out. By "swirling" your fingers around your cervix you can easily "catch" the CF, especially when it is egg-whitey, and thus you can assess it easily! I think very few women can assess their CF accurately externally or with tissue, so you if you are really serious about using FAM to TTA, then better get really comfy with fingers in the hoo ha! As for assessing your cervix, that is tricky and most of the TTC women had trouble with it. One thing that some women find hard is knowing where the cervix actually is. It isn't actually at the END of the vaginal canal, usually. It is actually usually found on the upper vaginal wall about 1/2 to 2/3 of the way in. If you place a finger in the vaginal opening and then run it up inside keeping in contact with the upper wall, between one inch and 3-4 inches inside you will feel a spongy, textured bit of tissue (the G-spot if you are wondering

) and right behind that you will feel a smooth, round "knob" about 1 inch in diameter that will have a little dimple in the middle. That's the cervix. It will feel like your nose when it is "low" and near the opening of the vajayjay (not fertile) and like your lips when it is "higher" up (when you are fertile). Again, most women find it takes a couple cycles to learn to assess this sign. You may find it easier to reach the cervix if you squat and bear down a little bit. This shorten the v-canal and makes it easier to reach the important bits.

3. Nope! LOL! Try the fertility friend site, it is great too and free.

 

[nicolejrx]

Great idea! I am going to be going off BC in March and it would be helpful to have a place to discuss certain FAM principles with women also trying to avoid and not get pregnant!

 

[PrettyBlues]

I have been using the FAM method (with condoms as well) for 6 cycles now so am happy to join in the discussion and answer any questions if I can!

ETA: Prior to this, I was on BCP for seven years.

 

[April20]

I went off BC in October and started using FAM, TTA. I have learned one very important lesson. DO NOT trust reading your signs when you have just come off BC- use protection at ALL times until your body gets leveled back out. I thought things were great, chart showed I ovulated and I thought I was "safe". Two weeks later the crosshairs went away and it turned out I HAD NOT ovulated! Eeek! Then again, given how awful my temps were, I should have known that already. I''m now on CD80ish. My temps are all over the place. Up, down, level and back around again. My chart is a hot anovulatory mess. At this point, I''m hoping the next cycle will be ovulatory so I can at least start to pick up on a pattern.

The charts in the TCOYF book look so pretty. Maybe that will be mine someday.

 

[mia1181]

Hi again Elmorton, thanks for starting the new thread. Here are my answers:

1. Well so far I think my chart is looking similar to the examples in the book. My software says I O''d on CD20 and I think I agree. But I obviously won''t know for sure until AF shows up. DH and I also made the ever so risky decision to use withdrawel the last few times we DTD. My temps have been up for 8 days so I''m pretty confident I O''d and am in my luteal phase. But there''s always the risk, which we are fully aware of. However, I don''t think I''m out of the woods. Next cycle could be annovulatory or hard to read. I''ve read that a bunch of women have one good cycle after HBC and then everything goes to hell!

2. Charting CF is HHHAAAAAAAAARRRDDDDD!!!!!!! OMG! I thought this part was going to be a cakewalk for me because as I read TCOYF''S description of all the different types of CF, I knew exactly what she was talking about. I have been "examining" my CF for years and I know each cycle (while on BC though of course) I had each different type. Of course I never paid attention to WHEN or in WHAT ORDER, but I knew what each looked like. Well checking it everday is a different story. Especially off BC because I have had less CF since going off. I have been checking at the cervix because there really isn''t enough making it to my underwear. DD''s description above is great for checking CF at the cervix. For me it''s much easier to do it that way then to wait for some to come out. Anyway the nice thing about the ovusoft (TCOYF) software is that it lets you tell the software to look at temps only when it analyses you data. This way if you are somehow charting CF wrong it won''t go by that. One tip I have is if you can''t decide which CF it is (like it seems like two kinds mixed) mark the highest fertility of the two in your chart. So if you think you have a mix of creamy and sticky, mark creamy because it is more fertile. This way you will be more conservative and reduce risks.

Cervical Position is another toughie! Like CM I thought I''d be a pro at this too. I have always been able to feel my cervix and knew where it was and what to look for. However I had no idea if it was open or closed or high or low until it shut and dropped suddenly. In other words I felt it everyday and I couldn''t make a distinction, but then one day I realized I hardly had to reach in at all to feel it, so it must have been low. So I marked low for that day and went back to the day before and marked high (since I knew it had been a lot higher that day). Then the following day I felt it again and it seemed closed so I went back and marked that it must have been open the two days before. So yeah I can only chart this one in retrospect!

Anyway, both CF and CP are really hard and you only can get good at these with a lot of practice, so I am going to go by temps alone for a while until I figure these out.

3. Damn! I saw this question asked before but I don''t have a Mac so I don''t remember the response. I am guessing that you will have to use the online software like FF. Have you had a chance to take a look at Ivillage''s that I posted about in the other thread?

 

[mia1181]

Anyone still doing this? Did you all get pregnant your first cycle on FAM?

I had my first period off of BC! It came the exact day there was a dip in my temps. I thought that was pretty cool! My period was HEAVY!!!!!

I had cramps for 2 whole days! But they weren''t painful, just there. I could live with that. I definitely can see that the "period" you get on BC isn''t real. It feels nice to be au natural!

Does anyone know if you count your first day of menstruation as your luteal phase? If so I had a 10 day, if not it was 9. So short luteal phase, I''m sure it will get longer, the longer I am off the BC.

 

[ladyciel]

Hi Mia! Yep, still doing FAM. I''m 99.9% sure I ov''d a few days ago, but my temp was so slow coming down after my last pill that the software hasn''t set an ov date yet (though it has marked the end of my fertile window). My pre-ov temps ran high, so the cover line is set high. Other than the slow temp drop, all my fertility signs were spot on. I even had a trace of what I''m guessing to be ov spotting in my eggwhite. If I''m lucky the rest of my cycle and all of the next will be textbook! One thing to note is that since I KNOW I mouth-breathe a lot of nights, I chose right from the start to do vag temping. Not for everyone, I''m sure, but it works for me.

In REALLY great news, my libido is coming back! I honestly wondered if maybe it was in my head, that maybe it wasn''t the pill, etc, but the stark contrast has completely convinced me that it was DEFINITELY the pill mucking things up. A month ago, my hubby could do everything in his power and I''d still be ''meh''. This week? A wee little kiss and I wanted to pull him into the bedroom. I''ve also felt a lot more like myself - less emotional, generally more happy. I might eventually broach the subject of trying a different pill with my doc, just to see if maybe there''s something out there that wouldn''t affect me the way the last one did, but for now I''m just appreciating getting back to ME.

 

[mia1181]

Yep Ladyciel I think your chart looks good. It''s going to wait until you have 2 more high temps above the coverline before it gives you the crosshair. But your other fertility signs seem to match up so hopefully your right. It seems like your CM and CP were easier to read than mine. Wow your temps really did drop slowly. I''m sure it was the hormones leaving your system. Mine seemed to drop down in two days. http://www.tcoyf.com/forum/chart.asp?id=mia1181

I''m still not noticing a crazy increase in libido, but yesterday I was definitely in the mood even though AF was in town so that was strange! Yeah even if we do end up back on BC at some point its so nice to know what our bodies would be doing naturally. Like, we''ll have something to compare to. I couldn''t even remember what my body was doing before BC and now I will know. This has been fun just to know that I ovulated.

 

[ladyciel]

Aha! I put in today's temp and voila, the software agrees with my guess at ov date. The cover line also dropped, so I went from one temp above the line, to multiple. Mia, I agree the hormones were probably just slow to leave my system. I'll have to wait to see what happens next cycle, though. For all I know that could be 'normal' for me. I agree with you that it's fun to know when I ovulated. The TCOYF book goes on and on and on about how empowering FAM is, and it sort of drove me crazy reading it time and again, but there's definitely some truth to it.

ETA: Based on CM and the spotting on my chart, it looks like my signs don't exactly match up, but I saw the eggwhite and spotting just before bed on cycle day 15. So, though I was kind of expecting/hoping for a temp jump the next morning, it seems reasonable to me that it took another day.

 

[musey]

Ew, my chart for this month is a MESS.

I have a feeling last month's would've been beautiful (based on the non-temping signs I charted), but I didn't have my thermometer yet.

This one looks ridiculous, and it keeps changing my O-date then saying "nevermind!" as soon as I enter in CF. I've gotten fake-out crosshairs three times this cycle

Anyone else that canNOT reach their cervix? I'm convinced I don't have one.

Oh well. This is only my second month off BCP so I'm sure it'll get better. I just didn't think it would be THIS bad after my non-temp signs were so clear last month!

 

[musey]

Here. Please, let''s all have a laugh at this ridiculousness.

 

[Elmorton]

Musey, OMG thank you for saying that you can't find your cervix either. I'll think I have it, and then the next time, everything feels different and I have no idea. And um...yeah, what the heck is up with your chart?!?!

I'm on day 14 of my first chart - so far, my temps have been exactly the same (with two outliers...and I'm usually under 97 degrees, is that normal!?!) and I'm hoping, hoping, hoping that I'll have a clear jump in the next couple of days - I've noticed cervical fluids (threw a freaking party!) for the last two days, and then today - it was like nothing ever happened down there.

Oh - another fun FAM moment - I called to make an appointment with a new OBGYN and I made the mistake of asking if there were any in the clinic familiar with FAM...and then I had to explain it to the receptionist, and felt like a complete idiot.

 

[waxing lyrical]

I read the book a while back. My charts didn''t look all that funky coming off Norplant. For me, it didn''t take long to grasp cervical mucous or position.

I''m not sure about a Mac compatible charting software. I''ve been using FF for over 5 years.

 

[musey]

Date: 1/12/2009 7:00:22 PM
Author: Elmorton
Musey, OMG thank you for saying that you can''t find your cervix either. I''ll think I have it, and then the next time, everything feels different and I have no idea. And um...yeah, what the heck is up with your chart?!?!

Hahahaha

Ohhhhhh man....

WTF is up with that massive dip?? 97.8 to 97.0? Here''s hoping next month isn''t quite so INSANE.


ETA: Btw, I''m using fertilityfriend also. Really wish that Ovusoft was mac-compatible, it seems to work a lot better.

 

[ladyciel]

So, I've personally not had much issue with finding my cervix, but 1) we're all built differently, and 2) I have, erm, long fingers. That said, mine got so high up near ovulation that at first I could have sworn it was abducted by aliens in my sleep. The trick I used was to 'bear down' a bit to make it reachable. Sorry if that's TMI, but maybe it will help some of you gals?

 

[mia1181]

Ladyciel- Glad to see your crosshairs! Ha! I agree with the book overdoing the whole "empowering" thing, it''s not like knowing when I ovulate is going to make me somehow a more successful person or change my life or anything like that.

But it is pretty neat. I mean so much happens in our bodies that we have no way of knowing about. It''s pretty amazing that something as tiny as an egg being released can be detected with a thermometer! And yeah I do feel a little better knowing that I did ovulate (hopefully it will continue!).

Oh and fellow cervix locators:
I could barely reach mine until I ovulated and it dropped. And I had to really reach! But the best position for me is one the toilet. I''ve even tried squating on the ground, but the toilet somehow tips it the right way.

Mine is pointed to the left too so sometimes I have to reach around to the side to feel the opening. Not sure if that means I have a tilted uterus or if that''s normal but I''ve read other women on the ovusoft boards who say their''s is tilted one way or another. Okay I need to go and wash my hands just talking about it!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

This will be the third month since going off the pill. I have no problem identifying my fertile CM, that''s pretty obv with me. I have noticed however that mid-cycle I have horriffic cramps. Like worse than when I have my period. I''m charting via calendar in outlook and CM vs. period start are pretty regular-every 14-15 days. This cramping happens around a week after CM. So when am I ovulating? I know that you can get cramps sometimes when you ovulate, but a full 7 days after fertile CM seems a little long...

 

[April20]

My cervix likes to be elusive too. Sometimes I think it climbs up.... it''ll be hard to find and then it seems to drop. Weird.

Wanna see a SAD chart? I''m on CD90 (or is it 91?). It is a hot mess. I''m just waiting for the stupid cycle to end. I went off BC in Oct and have not had AF since. I know I am not preggers as I haven''t ovulated and we''re TTA.

 

[Elmorton]

Holy crap. Now that''s a crazy chart.

I plugged everything into fertility friend to see what it was like - I do like the "red light/green light" feature. I''m such a paper and pencil person though, so I''ve been using xeroxed/blown up ones right from the book and will probably stick with that system, though I keep writing down the notes on the wrong day - crud. Still waiting to see first thermal shift...hoping like heck I have a textbook cycle. I gotta admit, I was a sucker for the empowering thing when I read the book - but now that I''m charting my first cycle I think I feel more confused and in the dark than before TCOYF got into my hands!

 

[mia1181]

Date: 1/13/2009 6:28:16 PM
Author: April20
My cervix likes to be elusive too. Sometimes I think it climbs up.... it''ll be hard to find and then it seems to drop. Weird.

Wanna see a SAD chart? I''m on CD90 (or is it 91?). It is a hot mess. I''m just waiting for the stupid cycle to end. I went off BC in Oct and have not had AF since. I know I am not preggers as I haven''t ovulated and we''re TTA.

April 20 that is one crazy chart! Have you considered going to the Gyno to get medicine that will bring on your period? Maybe it will get you back on track. When I was like 18 or 19 I thought I was pregnant because I didn''t get my period for as long as you. I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test but they were all negative. Finally I felt like something must be wrong so I went to the doctors. She said it was completely normal for women to just not have there period sometimes and nothing was wrong with me. So she gave me a pill to start up my period and I went back to normal. Anyway just in case you didn''t know something like that exists, it does.

 

[mia1181]

Elmorton you are the exact opposite as me! I need everything to be on the computer!

 

[April20]

I know it exists..... I just started a new job that will have new insurance, so I''m waiting to see if my doctors can stay the same. The other things is that I''m not all that worried about it I guess. If it gets completely ridiculous, I''ll get the provera, but until then I''m going to let nature take its course. I''m anti-intervention if at all possible.

 

[mia1181]

Date: 1/14/2009 3:37:23 PM
Author: April20
I know it exists..... I just started a new job that will have new insurance, so I''m waiting to see if my doctors can stay the same. The other things is that I''m not all that worried about it I guess. If it gets completely ridiculous, I''ll get the provera, but until then I''m going to let nature take its course. I''m anti-intervention if at all possible.

Well especially since you are TTA there''s no rush. I''d welcome a break from my periods too. The other thing I remembered when I took it, was that my period was super heavy! It came back with a vengeance! So as long as your not too worried, it might be better to just wait.

 

[Elmorton]

I''ve been soooo excited all day - I think I''ve had the temperature spike! So, unless I have some weird dip in the next few days, I think that my first charting cycle has actually been pretty similar to ones in the book.

I went to fertility friend and plugged everything in today and it drew the cover line and vertical line for me...and then I drew the same on my chart - but I feel kinda silly, because I can''t remember what the vertical line was in relation to - temps or cervical fluid/position? I know we shouldn''t be using FAM as BC in the first cycle, but I feel like an idiot for having to go back and read when I''m "all clear." - I thought DH and I would have remembered that bit, but apparently our reading comprehension isn''t that hot!