Exhausted and overwhelmed.

[partgypsy]

Please just contact the vendor and see if you can switch out the stone you got for one that is an ideal cut. I feel like you are compromising where you don't need to. There are plenty of ideal cut manmade diamonds in your price range. i understand not wanting to wait for lightbox since it is unknown when they will be selling 1 carat stones. But at least get a beautiful stone for your money.

https://www.brilliantearth.com/lab-diamonds-search/view_detail/6069228/ 0.92 better color, clarity and cut quality for 1680.
https://www.brilliantearth.com/lab-diamonds-search/view_detail/6027339/ 0.89 I si1, ideal cut for 1540

 

[SimoneDi]

That stone is 500 more than the stone she chose, and she sites price as the reason for her choice. Considering OP wanted to get this over with quickly and cheaply, and her boyfriend is opposed to mined stones, I'm not surprised by her choice. I hope this ring works out for her!

Lightbox hasn't started selling yet. They could sell a couple of white stones, sell them out in seconds, and then never again. There has definitely been rumors they will focus on colored stones. Or they could flood the market. Or lab diamonds could be like cultured pears and no one will care about whether a stone is mined or not in the future. We don't know. I'm not sure it's something a young person in love who plans to wear her ring forever is going to worry about, or even should.

Regardless of what her boyfriend desires, I am sure that any person with some common sense would dislike spending money on a purchase that in a month or so will lose 50%-75% of its value at a minimum. There is a reason why the stone I suggested is more expensive - it is well cut, it is GIA certified and it is a genuine mined diamond, one that was formed approximately 100-200 billion years ago.

OP is lucky to have found this forum where people give sound advice without having any personal agenda or benefit. We just want people to spend their money on items that are actually worth something and such that will retain at least some of their value over time. The same cannot be said about lab diamonds especially considering that the De Beers will completely dominate the market in no time.

Nonetheless, what OP does and how she spends her money is entirely her choice. We can only give the best advice because diamonds is what we love, but if people want to take that advice is entirely up to them.

ETA: If OP wanted a lab made stone. Some CZs out there are much better alternatives than a poorly cut, included and overpriced man made diamond that is bound to go down drastically in value.

 

[vintageloves]

Frogplus, I think you're making the right choice stepping away from the forum, and you know people will help you with open arms if this ring doesn't work out. Maybe stick to the lab sub forum, though.

When I read this thread, I was getting the impression that you were feeling pressured, but I didn't want to say anything and put words in your mouth. I had a strong suspicion you didn't want to go to IDJ but got swept up in board enthusiasm and only started leaning toward a mined ideal cut because it was "the right answer."

Don't feel bad! Just focus on what you want. If this ring doesn't work out, be true to yourself as you continue the search.

 

[DoeEyes]

@vintageloves Yes, you are spot on. You really really get me. Thank you. I'm actually tearing up from that acknowledgement. Ugh I'm such an emotional mess.

 

[DoeEyes]

@partgypsy The first one I would need to see a video, but the second one I do like. I'll keep it in mind in case the one I ordered is no good. Thank you!

 

[vintageloves]

Regardless of what her boyfriend desires, I am sure that any person with some common sense would dislike spending money on a purchase that in a month or so will lose 50%-75% of its value at a minimum.

You don't know what its value will be. You also don't know what the value of a natural diamond will be in 10, 20 years. I know my mined diamonds have retained very little value and I don't think it's smart to think of them as an investment at all.

There is a reason why the stone I suggested is more expensive - it is well cut, it is GIA certified and it is a genuine mined diamond, one that was formed approximately 100-200 billion years ago.

The OP has not indicated she cares about any of these things, but that she cares much more about the price.

OP is lucky to have found this forum where people give sound advice without having any personal agenda or benefit.

Everyone has agenda. It's human nature.

Maybe I should take off this board, too.

 

[HappyNewLife]

Please do share photos when you receive! I hope you love it!

 

[SimoneDi]

You don't know what its value will be. You also don't know what the value of a natural diamond will be in 10, 20 years. I know my mined diamonds have retained very little value and I don't think it's smart to think of them as an investment at all.

OP, we are not saying that diamonds are an investment. A diamond is a luxury item. It personally pains me when I see people wasting their hard earned money on poor goods, this doesn't just apply to diamonds. As I said earlier, at the end of the day, the decision is yours. We just want you to be well informed. I would at least listen to other posters and swap the stone for a better cut one.

 

[bludiva]

@frogplus I'm so sorry this board is making you feel bad. At the end of the day whatever you are happy with and fits the bill for you is all that counts. Good luck with the incoming ring!

To everyone else, there was a discussion a while back about "your priorities aren't necessarily their priorities" which is worth reading. From the OP's perspective the highest priority may be just finding a ring that works and *being done with ring shopping* - we should all respect that.

 

[msop04]

One more comment, you could have gotten a comparable mined diamond for the same price. Here is an example:
https://www.jamesallen.com/loose-di...k-color-si1-clarity-excellent-cut-sku-4696174

It is a nice 60/60 style diamond with complimentary angles and a great spread. GIA K will 99.99% equal or be better that whatever lab cerified a lab made stone as a J.

JA offers $100 off for new customers who sign up for their newsletter and have multiple budget settings.

Oh, OP... this really made me sad...

This is what I was thinking. You could've gotten a mined stone with better specs for what you paid for a subpar lab diamond. If you are against mined diamonds, for whatever reason, please at least get an alternative (be it lab or sim) that has a great cut.

 

[sledge]

Sorry you feel bad @frogplus. I don't think that was anyone's intent on this board.

Without doubt, most prefer natural stones. But I thought the community did a good job of trying to be open minded. Sure, natural options were presented but also there was much discussion over lab options. Heck, you knew about LightBox because of this thread! And last I heard IDJ was going to show you lab and natural mined stones, and you were excited about it!

Sorry I misread your situation and didn't help you properly.

Since we've all been accused of having agendas earlier, mine was to make sure you had the most ideal cut and sparkly stone regardless if it came from the ground or lab. FWIW, you going to BE didn't bother me as much as you sacrificing the cut quality. But if it makes you happy that is what matters ultimately.

 

[kindred]

Yeah, I am really sorry if @frogplus feels like this board was pressuring her. I just hate to see someone get a diamond (lab or mined) that does not sparkle. After all, that is the entire point of a diamond. A 5 HCA score just makes me sad. And in the long run, I think that she will notice that others have diamonds that sparkle a lot more than hers. The fact that she never plans to upgrade makes it even more important to get a sparkly diamond now, IMO.

ETA - I have mined diamonds and am still interested in lab diamonds (at the right price), and I know many others here feel the same way. I just really like to see people get the best that they can for their money.

 

[msop04]

Sorry you feel bad @frogplus. I don't think that was anyone's intent on this board.

Without doubt, most prefer natural stones. But I thought the community did a good job of trying to be open minded. Sure, natural options were presented but also there was much discussion over lab options. Heck, you knew about LightBox because of this thread! And last I heard IDJ was going to show you lab and natural mined stones, and you were excited about it!

Sorry I misread your situation and didn't help you properly.

Since we've all been accused of having agendas earlier, mine was to make sure you had the most ideal cut and sparkly stone regardless if it came from the ground or lab. FWIW, you going to BE didn't bother me as much as you sacrificing the cut quality. But if it makes you happy that is what matters ultimately.

@frogplus, please don't feel bad! We would love to see whatever ring you choose, for whatever reason. I believe the most important aspect of this is that YOU are happy... because YOU are the only one that matters with this purchase. Whether it be diamond (mined or lab grown), simulant, colored stone, or even a simple band, just make sure you're happy with what you end up with.

I'm excited to see what setting you choose!

 

[Wewechew]

@frogplus I think you made the best decision for you. Not everyone wants an ideal diamond, and you've already done the research to know that you like how not ideal diamonds perform. I'm looking forward to you coming back and showing us your new ring!

 

[DoeEyes]

I requested to cancel the order. And I got my period today. So... Yep.

It was this from @kindred that convinced me: And in the long run, I think that she will notice that others have diamonds that sparkle a lot more than hers. The fact that she never plans to upgrade makes it even more important to get a sparkly diamond now, IMO.

So if anyone wants to go on the hunt, I'm looking for a lab diamond .75-1 ct preferably from BE but will consider anywhere that has a setting I like and free returns. Total budget with setting and shipping $2k. With the BE 6-prong petite comfort fit setting, that leaves about $1500 for the stone. Feel free to post recs on my thread in the MMD forum if it violates the rules of this forum. I'll post an update there too. (I might consider mined diamonds but figured lab will be cheaper anyway right?)

 

[ac117]

I requested to cancel the order. And I got my period today. So... Yep.

It was this from @kindred that convinced me: And in the long run, I think that she will notice that others have diamonds that sparkle a lot more than hers. The fact that she never plans to upgrade makes it even more important to get a sparkly diamond now, IMO.

So if anyone wants to go on the hunt, I'm looking for a lab diamond .75-1 ct preferably from BE but will consider anywhere that has a setting I like and free returns. Total budget with setting and shipping $2k. With the BE 6-prong petite comfort fit setting, that leaves about $1500 for the stone. Feel free to post recs on my thread in the MMD forum if it violates the rules of this forum. I'll post an update there too. (I might consider mined diamonds but figured lab will be cheaper anyway right?)

I'm glad you cancelled the order. We're not trying to be mean or push you into anything and no one here has an agenda other than, like @sledge pointed out, getting you the best cut diamond possible within YOUR budget - whether that's $100, $10000, $10000000 etc. We're sad that you purchased a diamond with a bad cut bc THAT'S what PS is all about.

 

[DoeEyes]

@ac117 I know that you're right, I think I was mostly feeling frustrated at myself for jumping the gun and then realizing that was probably a mistake. Although now I'm pretty sure I'll go home and tell my boyfriend I cancelled it and he'll think it was a mistake to let this board get into my head and I should have just waited to see it in person.

This process is really bringing out the worst in me. Maybe I'll throw a party when it's over to celebrate. With like 100-200 of my friends and family, food, music, dancing...

 

[ac117]

@ac117 I know that you're right, I think I was mostly feeling frustrated at myself for jumping the gun and then realizing that was probably a mistake. Although now I'm pretty sure I'll go home and tell my boyfriend I cancelled it and he'll think it was a mistake to let this board get into my head and I should have just waited to see it in person.

This process is really bringing out the worst in me. Maybe I'll throw a party when it's over to celebrate. With like 100-200 of my friends and family, food, music, dancing...

I don't mean this in a bad way, but do you need to fill him in right away? Since he doesn't like the whole process anyway, maybe just keep it to yourself and give yourself a few days to figure things out, maybe including staying off PS to see how you feel. If he asks why it hasn't arrived, just say you've swapped something out. Nothing wrong with that. I feel like his negativity about the ring is rubbing off when you clearly do want a ring that you could wear, love, cherish and one day pass down. I also understand your feeling of wanting to get it over with - it might be worthwhile to close this thread and start a new one for fresh ideas. Start off with 'looking for XYZ' and don't let it get too long so you're not overwhelmed. You can do this, no matter which direction you choose!

 

[DoeEyes]

@ac117 Thank you, you're so right. I bet he won't even ask why it hasn't arrived lol. I think I'm just going to chill out until the end of the month and see what happens with lightbox.

 

[pearaffair]

Frogplus - you remind me so much of myself! Hugs to you! I used to not understand the PSer obsession with cut and being so specific about it. The few diamonds I had seen in real life, well, they sure sparkled pretty nicely! Even my cz sparkled nicely! What’s the big deal?

Well. I now own a half carat superideal (excellent cut). And at first, I still couldn’t see what the big deal was. That all changed when I hung out with a friend of mine. We were each wearing solitaires, hers around 0.66ct and mine 0.50ct. Mine was stealing the show!!! I felt bad! But it also really opened my eyes.

I can totally understand how it must’ve been a major downer to have been excited and then to feel conflicted and maybe even confused. I promise you that PSers are happiest when the buyer gets the best rock for their budget! Think of them as kind, knowledgeable, fairy godmothers that aren’t able to rest knowing you got a ring that doesn’t maximize your budget and make your wishes come true. <3

Like a stern gramma, sometimes PSers have strong opinions! But I promise it comes from a good place, and SO much experience.

Wishing you well and I hope to see pics of your new ring one day!!!!

 

[DoeEyes]

@pearaffair Thank you! When I first came here the outpouring of support literally had me in tears, and I really love the image that everyone here is a fairy godmother.

Yesterday I was thinking I wanted to maximize my budget to get the biggest stone I could that was still mostly white and mostly free I obvious inclusions. The one I bought on BE was recommended from the rep there and the video really looked amazing. But I wasn't thinking about the other specs that give it sparkle and how sad I would be seeing my ring look dull compared to friends/family.

I'm realizing now that I need to consider the specs that give it sparkle, but I don't need to become an expert, I can trust the experts here.

So for now my plan is to wait and see what happens with lightbox. Nothing will beat that $900/ carat and maybe they really will sparkle beautifully. If not, I'll come back and ask for what I need and trust the recommendations without trying to find something better on my own. Worst case, the local jeweler I saw yesterday had a gorgeous .74 J SI1 ideal cut for $1590 and setting might only be $300. Smaller but not too small, and I think it was really nice quality but I would need to get the specs and plug it into HCA.

 

[DoeEyes]

Curious what everyone's thoughts are on this. I called the jeweler I saw yesterday to ask for the crown and pavilion angles on the lab diamond he showed me so I could put it in HCA. He poopoo'd HCA saying it was an attempt for this guy Holloway to get his name on something and try to make his score a part of the grading process. The jeweler seemed like he wanted me to discount the HCA. Should I stay away from this jeweler? Proceed with caution?

 

[Wewechew]

Curious what everyone's thoughts are on this. I called the jeweler I saw yesterday to ask for the crown and pavilion angles on the lab diamond he showed me so I could put it in HCA. He poopoo'd HCA saying it was an attempt for this guy Holloway to get his name on something and try to make his score a part of the grading process. The jeweler seemed like he wanted me to discount the HCA. Should I stay away from this jeweler? Proceed with caution?

My opinion hinges on if, after all of that, he gave in and provided the numbers you requested.

 

[msop04]

Curious what everyone's thoughts are on this. I called the jeweler I saw yesterday to ask for the crown and pavilion angles on the lab diamond he showed me so I could put it in HCA. He poopoo'd HCA saying it was an attempt for this guy Holloway to get his name on something and try to make his score a part of the grading process. The jeweler seemed like he wanted me to discount the HCA. Should I stay away from this jeweler? Proceed with caution?

...if he poopoo'ed the HCA, then he doesn't think his stone will pass... or he's going to try to sell you on the idea that it doesn't matter so he can convince you his stones are amazing, when they likely are not. I wouldn't consider buying from this jeweler.

ETA: there are AGS ideals that get dinged on the HCA - there are also some really beautiful stones that miss the cutoff. That said, I'm willing to bet the stones he shows you will be neither AGS Ideal nor the quality of cut that PS would steer you towards.

 

[kindred]

Most jewelers are either not educated on cut or know that their diamonds are substandard and are pushing them anyway. (I have a hard time telling which in B&M stores.) And they will tell you that you don't need to pay attention to any of the tools that help determine cut quality. And they are wrong. AGS is the strongest grader of cut quality and they print a computer generated ASET prediction of each diamond's performance right on their reports.

The HCA is not a selection tool, anyway, as it says on the HCA page. It is a rejection tool. We typically reject anything over 2 on the HCA and take a further look at anything under 2.

Ideally, you would be able to see a video and an ASET or Idealscope image for any diamond you are considering, but that is not always possible. The least they can do is give you the info that you need to use the HCA.

Edit to add - More info on Garry and IdealScope here:
https://ideal-scope.com/about-ideal-scope/

Oops, Better link:
https://www.hollowaydiamonds.com.au/the-ideal-scope

 

[msop04]

There are just so many tried-and-true reputable vendors to deal with... I wouldn't waste anymore of my time with the local guy.

 

[sledge]

LOL, I'm not sure I like being considered a fairy godmother at all. That really hurts my male image.

My opinion on the local jeweler -- tell him to pound sand. At this point it's simple. Either he gets on board and plays ball to help you find a well cut stone or he's a waste of your time and you won't spend your money supporting him. It's really that simple. Too many good jewelers, local and online, to put up with ignorance.

 

[DoeEyes]

He said he would get it for me but had to call me back. He was also looking into settings for me to give me prices. He's supposed to call back tomorrow, I'll update when I find out the HCA for that one. Now I'm really curious how bad it is!

 

[pearaffair]

LOL, I'm not sure I like being considered a fairy godmother at all. That really hurts my male image.

My opinion on the local jeweler -- tell him to pound sand. At this point it's simple. Either he gets on board and plays ball to help you find a well cut stone or he's a waste of your time and you won't spend your money supporting him. It's really that simple. Too many good jewelers, local and online, to put up with ignorance.

How about, mobster godfather with one favour to grant?

 

[TreeScientist]

Just as an FYI, while lightbox hasn't yet announced whether they will be releasing a full carat stone, they do have a 1 ctw halo pendant with an 8/9 carat (so .89 carat) center stone listed on their coming soon page. I'm personally planning on buying one of these as soon as they come out. IMO a .89 carat colorless diamond for $900 (I see the halo setting as a throw-away) is a helluva deal. I'll post a report of the diamond on the lab-made forum once it arrives.

Might be worth waiting a month to see when the halo pendant will be available to ship. It will be a lot cheaper than the .9 carat you selected from BE.