Ew! Your place is weird!

[TravelingGal]

The NYT had an article entitled "It''s not you, it''s your apartment" about otherwise normal people with really bad pads. Dealbreakers even. Guys who love 60''s/70''s sheets and can''t find them now, so still have 40 year old sheets! The article can be found at http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/29/garden/29breakers.html?_r=1&oref=slogin and is quite amusing.

Have you ever gone into a potential mate''s place for the first time and thought "Ew! Oh no...this is bad?" I once got asked out by a guy at a stoplight while in my car...I was in a convertible and he leaned out his window and asked me out. It was so strange that in the spirit of adventure, I said yes. The first date was bad, but all my friends say I can be a harsh critic and told me I should give him a second chance. So for the second date I met him at his apartment (near the beach) so we could go rollerblading. His place was filled with with black pleather furniture and his walls were decorated with Nagel prints. After he let me in, he went to brush his teeth and came out while brushing, his mouth full of toothpaste suds. This guy was 35.

I told my friends to go pound sand and didn''t give him a 3rd date (not to mention I totally outskated him. )

 

[Independent Gal]

That article is hilarious! And so true.

I dated a guy who was 37 and decently employed (as in, not rich, but FAR from broke). He invited me for dinner and when I arrived, he apologized that there was no heat. The reason, it seems, was the ENORMOUS FREAKING HOLE in his ceiling. Apparently, for his $400 a month rent (for a two bedroom, in a big American city), the landlord wasn''t willing to fix it. There was also only one dim lamp in the living room. I asked if he had plans to move? ?? He said ''Why would I do that? For $400 a month, this place is great!'' Then he asked if I was judging him. We decided not to continue seeing each other. Call me weird, but I have a thing about sitting in the cold and the dark.

I also have a friend who went out a few times with a guy in our circle who''s a very successful lawyer and always tidily dressed. None of us had ever been to his place and when she finally went home with him, he lived in a nice building, but in what might best be described as squalor: dirty dishes everywhere, clothes, underwear all over the floor. And almost NO furniture. There was a chair. And he slept on a mattress on the floor... without sheets.

He hasn''t lived it down. Good thing he''s a good sport and doesn''t mind being teased! But he''s really cute and funny and smart... and still single. Wonder why?

 

[Harriet]

The 70-year-old is dating a 22-year-old who lives overseas. Funny.

 

[SuzyQZ]

I once had a second date with a guy who invited me over to his place for dinner.
I was thinking, how romantic, candle light dinner, some wonderful food and wine. He made the date a week beforehand so he had plenty of time to prepare to impress, and I was definitely ready to be impressed!

Well when I got there he had two fold up wooden chairs set out and a cheap collapsible picnic table with the bare plates set out on the table slats and mismatched place settings and silverware. (And no, the table was not even set, just the stuff laid out in a pile in the middle of the table!)

For dinner he boiled spaghetti in a "way too small" pan with just barely enough water to cook it, no straining, just plopped the wet spaghetti on a plate then poured Ragu sauce on top of it directly from the jar (no heating up, just straight out of the jar!)

When I excused myself to go to the bathroom to wash up, the musty stench of damp clothes and towels (still in piles on the floor) and mold around the edge of the entire bathroom floor was just too much for me.

I excused myself and told him I just wasn''t feeling well and went home. I never went out again, even though he kept on calling, apparently clueless as to why I didn''t want to go out again!

Now before you feel too sorry for this guy, or think I''m being too harsh, let me say he wasn''t an inexperienced young man, he was in his mid 30''s and worked with the Navy CIA or something like that (I never did get the whole story of "so what do you do for a living", because I didn''t stick around long enough.

He made a good living, had traveled the world and definitely could talk a good game. He just didn''t care about how he lived, or what he had as far as household amenities.

He had been living in that apartment for over 4 years when I met him and still lived out of card board boxes.

Let''s just say, we didn''t dance to the same tune.

He turned into a kind of stalker for a while after that, but that''s a whole different story!

 

[Skippy123]

Okay, Traveling Girl; your story is funny and SuzyQz I laughed so hard about the dinner. I think mine is worse. I dated this guy and he invited me over to his house for dinner. It turned out he lived at home w/his mom!!! How horrible is that! I dropped after that!! He also wanted to get married after a month of dating so ekkkkkkk I ended it!

 

[SuzyQZ]

Skippy!

Yup, you WIN !!
Living with is mother!!!

Gawd that IS awful!!

Look at what you passed up? If you''d married him, you could have BOTH lived with his mother!!!!

He he he!!!

 

[anchor31]

OMG your stories are hilarious! I have nothing that funny to tell... FI didn''t know how to cook when I met him, but at least he made an effort!

Skippy - How old was the guy???

 

[Allisonfaye]

I was fixed up on a blind date once by a ''friend'' and the guy told me that the only furniture he had was a chair. He was like 40. I told him on our first date that the ONLY thing I didn''t want to do was go to Third Street which was the happening area of LA at the time. I didn''t like to go on weekends because I worked right by there and I wanted to get away from it. Our original plan was to go rollerblading at the beach. When it was too windy to do it, guess where he took me? Yep. Third Street. No second date.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 3/29/2007 9:08:33 PM
Author: SuzyQZ
Skippy!

Yup, you WIN !!
Living with is mother!!!

Gawd that IS awful!!

Look at what you passed up? If you'd married him, you could have BOTH lived with his mother!!!!

He he he!!!

I was 21 and he was 26. I know; ROFL, that is what I was thinking!!!!!! OMG. It is funny now but back then; I didn't find out till that night he made dinner for me.

TG I found my husband. I still think I am such a lucky girl

 

[cnspotts]

Okay, I have to relate this because I''ve never forgotten it. My father died when I was young and my mom stayed "single" for a very long time after that for various reasons. I recall one man she briefly dated being interesting. He asked her to stop by his place, an apartment, for whatever reason mom took me along. We got inside and there was NOTHING inside other than TWO huge CANOES!!!! WTH??? My mom is NOT an out-of-doors type of woman. End of that.

A good friend of mine, divorced, male & very wealthy, lived in the same apartment that he got after his divorce (YEARS) no doubt he''s still there. He has his dog, his truck and his horse....and my horse now too. He''s happy, lonely, and weird to say the least. He has "rituals" that thankfully I never got to endure but he''d talk while we rode for miles. We were "riding partners"...I loved the horse trips we took but that was as far as it went. He bought my horse when I moved (no better place for that horse to live out his life). Anyway he would send me the weirdest emails about all the woman after him....as if I was missing out on something. If I had been into money on that caliber I''d still be married to my ex. I had to start ignoring his emails it got so strange.

Last one. My DH and I met through his mom. I lived in one state, he lived in another. After several weeks of getting to know each other online he came to visit...obviously it went well, we''re now married, BUT...he was definitely a "fixer upper" in terms of household living. I''ll give him credit that he "warned" me about the mess his house was in and that he''d need a "few days" to get things cleaned up if I came to visit. We''ll I did and though he had a gorgeous home it was a total disaster. All he needed was the car engine in the living room, or a motorcycle or something. He had piles of clothes everywhere that I know he wore in highschool and college (he was 34). He''s very intelligent, handy, and the best mechanic so parts of stuff where everywhere throughout the house. He used the dishwasher to clean engine parts!!! There was not a curtain in the place, thankfully the neighbors where not so close they could see in through the trees. It was wild and sad.

He''s not like that in reality, we''ve been married 4 years. He keeps his stuff confined to the proper areas. He just needed someone to care so I bought him a parts washer for his "stuff". He made adjustments and continues to. I knew he was a great guy because he had a cat, and loves her dearly. As it turns out he''s a great guy and fixes anything that''s on my "to do list". This summer we''re building a 4 car gargage with a Lift so he''ll have some place that''s just his to tinker!

 

[TravelingGal]

SuzyQZ, I laughed outloud at your story. Actually all of them were really funny. I can only imagine the funny stories if there was a "worst date" thread!!!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 3/29/2007 10:27:06 PM
Author: Skippy123

Date: 3/29/2007 9:08:33 PM
Author: SuzyQZ
Skippy!

Yup, you WIN !!
Living with is mother!!!

Gawd that IS awful!!

Look at what you passed up? If you''d married him, you could have BOTH lived with his mother!!!!

He he he!!!

I was 21 and he was 26. I know; ROFL, that is what I was thinking!!!!!! OMG. It is funny now but back then; I didn''t find out till that night he made dinner for me.

TG I found my husband. I still think I am such a lucky girl

My FBIL is 27 and still living with his parents...

But an abusive father and a controlling mother can wreak havoc to one''s self-esteem, which is probably why he hasn''t moved yet.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 3/30/2007 3:09:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
SuzyQZ, I laughed outloud at your story. Actually all of them were really funny. I can only imagine the funny stories if there was a ''worst date'' thread!!!

TG, I was going to start a worst date thread, because of your above post, but I don''t want to step on toes, if you give me the thumbs up I will.

I dated a guy who lived above a dive bar. The building was built in the early 1900''s and has a 2 bedroom apartment above the bar. We actually met at the bar (it was my college hang out). The noise was endless as the bartenders often stayed after hours and played poker. His bedroom was right above the jukebox and the back porch opened up over the bar patio, so when we weren''t hanging out in what we had dubbed "the living room" we could still here what was going on.

It turns out his grandfather actually lived in the same apartment 60 years earlier. He played in a band that often performed at the bar. Too funny.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/30/2007 4:15:30 PM
Author: KimberlyH

Date: 3/30/2007 3:09:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
SuzyQZ, I laughed outloud at your story. Actually all of them were really funny. I can only imagine the funny stories if there was a ''worst date'' thread!!!

TG, I was going to start a worst date thread, because of your above post, but I don''t want to step on toes, if you give me the thumbs up I will.

I dated a guy who lived above a dive bar. The building was built in the early 1900''s and has a 2 bedroom apartment above the bar. We actually met at the bar (it was my college hang out). The noise was endless as the bartenders often stayed after hours and played poker. His bedroom was right above the jukebox and the back porch opened up over the bar patio, so when we weren''t hanging out in what we had dubbed ''the living room'' we could still here what was going on.

It turns out his grandfather actually lived in the same apartment 60 years earlier. He played in a band that often performed at the bar. Too funny.

LOL Kimberly. Go for it on the worst date thread...I''m almost afraid to think of the stories....

 

[ladykemma]

Date: 3/29/2007 9:08:33 PM
Author: SuzyQZ
Skippy!

Yup, you WIN !!
Living with is mother!!!

Gawd that IS awful!!

Look at what you passed up? If you''d married him, you could have BOTH lived with his mother!!!!

He he he!!!

oh. I can top that. same story, in college, dated a 25 year old guy, got invited to his house. turns out he and his mom shared a 1 bedroom apartment and slept in the same kingsize bed!

 

[Pandora II]

Wow, this thread brings back memories!

The first time I went to FI''s house little did I realise it was the day his cleaner came round so it was super tidy - which freaked me a bit as I am not!

However, he and his flatmate believed in "buying in bulk" - crates of tinned tomatoes, at least 50 cans of tuna - it was stacked all over the kitchen - which was last decorated c.1940.

The bathroom had artistic pipework and the best mould display I have ever seen; the sitting room carpet had originally been beige but had so many marks it was hard to tell...

Luckily for FI I just love redesigning people''s houses and this was certainly a challenge I wasn''t going to let slip past!

Mind you the bf before him still lived with his mother at the age of 31 - very normal in Italy, but after date 3 and having to hear how he''d been in trouble for not tidying his room I gave an ultimatum: Either you move out, or I''m out of this. He moved - and his mother took me out for lunch to say thank you for getting her a nice guest bedroom!

 

[littlelysser]

When I first met FI, he was living in a nasty little one bedroom, with no natural light at all.

For our first "date" I went over to his place and we watched Memento on his PLASTIC COUCH! No, not a couch covered with plastic. A plastic, blow-up couch. It made fart sounds whenever you moved. And it was cow colored. We watched the dvd on his computer because he didn''t own a tv. Oh, and his coffee table was made of three pieces of plywood. The only decorations were coke cans that he''d kind of stacked up in the corners.

Yeah.

I''ll admit, I was a big freaked out...but he had many other good qualities. And he''d moved to the US a few years before we''d met to work at a computer scientist at a university here. He wasn''t planning on staying here forever...so he never really got any furniture.

I''m happy to say we bought a house together a few years back...and it is properly furnished. Although I tried to throw out the farty couch...but FI saw it and grabbed it from the trash heap. It is still in our basement.

 

[Mara]

lol yeah guys places can be strangggeeee sometimes. greg had an overabundance of plaid upholstered furniture that his mom helped him pick out when i met him. and this weird looking super thin brown comforter with brown and orange geometric print sheets!!

of course all that went once we went out for a little while hehe. but hey things like furniture are typically easy to change. lol.

my friend tried to set me up with this guy once...we did NOT hit it off at all during the group meeting kinda thing, but he kind of got incorporated into our friend group for a year or two. once he had a BBQ and we all went over to his place....well he was all into hunting and guns, and he had a bullet press in his living room and wanted to show us how to press bullets!!

and then he started bringing out his gun collection to show us things. he also was into dressing up like a cowboy and going to these events with other guyswhowannabecowboyswithguns. oh and he made rattlesnake for the BBQ. yeah interesting night for sure. sooo glad we never REALLY went out. hahaha.

 

[justjulia]

I wish I had a hairy story to tell (well, maybe not!) but really when I first visited my now-husband's place, I was wowed by his huge salt water aquarium. I don't even remember the furniture. I do recall that his kitchen was pretty tidy-and that he fed his cat turkey from a package, which I could not afford at my beginning teacher's salary. I thought, if he cares for me 1/10th the way he does for his cat, ...wow.

 

[kcoursolle]

Someone''s apartment/house does really say a lot about the person.

 

[MiniMouse]

Oh dear, some poor girl is likely to have a frightful experience if she ever goes round my brother''s house

He''s in his late 40s and has had his bachelor house for at least 18 years. When he moved in, it had orange carpet tiles throughout the hallway and the kitchen had the most awful dated 70s patterned yellow tiles. The rest of the house was dated too and when he first moved in he accepted ''hand me down'' furniture from grannies and friends to get him started. Dare I admit that (at least 18 years later) nothing has changed!!! My Mum and Sister managed to persuade him to buy a new 3-piece suite for the large living room about a year after he moved in (and had put up with no sofas), but when they chose the suite in the shop, he insisted that he only needed a 3-seater and a 1-seater, he wasn''t going to pay for any more, even though the room needed more furniture and seating and cashflow wasn''t a problem. Okay, so his house is paid off and he has a healthy amount in the bank, but why not spend a bit to update the house? No wonder he hasn''t got a girlfriend, they''d visit once and do a runner. My parents only live a mile away and my Mum still does all his laundry and cooks dinner every evening. Talk about helpless.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 4/1/2007 1:06:16 PM
Author: Mara
lol yeah guys places can be strangggeeee sometimes. greg had an overabundance of plaid upholstered furniture that his mom helped him pick out when i met him. and this weird looking super thin brown comforter with brown and orange geometric print sheets!!

What is it with men and orange/brown bedlinen?

My Dad had orange and brown sheets and duvet covers when my mother first met him, and FI has a set that he absolutely refuses to get rid of.