ever wish you HADN'T found PS?

[mjertl]

I sometimes do...
My BF is going to propose in the next 2 months (my money is on October 8, so a MONTH from now!), and he told my I'm pretty much done being a part of the ring selection process. My participation was limited (looked at some ugly stuff (and one or two beautiful things) a few times, and I printed a bunch of pictures and wrote lots of notes for him, that's it), and after seeing some examples of what UGLY stones look like on here I worry about his ability to select a really nice diamond (for a fair price)...
I don't really want a big rock, and I'm not color sensitive, and eye clean is fine by me, but (mostly thanks to PS...) I have become a cut snob, and I think that's the hardest "c" to get right if you don't know much about diamonds. One of his best friends assures me he's been researching, but I still don't know that it's "pricescope-worthy" research... I just will hate for him to spend so much money on something and have me not LOVE it, and I know I would never return it, and probably won't ever upgrade either (I'm sentimental). I love him so much, and even the thought of hurting his feelings breaks my heart. And I know he wants to surprise me and I don't want to wreck that for him, and I'm also kinda reluctant to say too much about this because I don't want to seem materialistic, or hurt his feelings, especially if he already bought something...
I guess I should have a little more faith in him here, he is a very capable man!, but I know if I hadn't found PS, I would never be at all concerned about this!
I am so excited, and a little nervous...
(thanks for listening to my rant...)

 

[centralsquare]

I'm sure it will be fine! You will love it! One month....exciting!!!

 

[RebeccaMUA]

Haha I know what you mean! I joined a little over a year ago when we first started talking about rings, so that I could do a fair amount of research before I felt "ready" to go with him and start looking at loose sapphires.

At that time, I knew there was a ladies in waiting list but I made myself NOT look at it because I knew I would drive myself crazy.

Funny thing is, I was on the list for about a month before I got taken off, but that was one hard month, knowing it was coming soon but not knowing other things. I was seriously going batty.

Honestly, once you see the ring and see his face as he asks you and how he looks when he slips it on your finger, all the fear you had about the stone will go out the door and you will just be so happy to be engaged to the love of your life.

Congrats, and we will be waiting for your updates!

 

[Miss_GG]

Ohhh RebeccaMUA - sooo happy to hear you say that as I have been on here for about 5 months now and im so paranoid about the stone/ring that my bf will get me - he wants the whole surpirse element, so no doubt I am little nervous! Thanks mjertl for posting this cause sometimes i really think that lol!

 

[AmeliaG]

I see your point, even with a long list of instructions, it may be difficult for him to pick out a really good cut. Actually with some guys, a long list of detailed instructions can be even more confusing. If you're pretty flexible about the other C's, Is it too late to go back and tell him to disregard your detailed list and instead just get you a Hearts & Arrows diamond? If you're even unsure he'll be able to pick out a true H&A, you could just ask for a Hearts on Fire diamond. Yes, they'll carry a premium but it may be a case where if you want to be assured of getting a great cut and he's intent on going it alone from here, you may need to sacrifice getting the most diamond for his money.

 

[tuffyluvr]

Yes!!! All the time! I really worried that my guy wouldn't "get it", and would get me something I wasn't happy with, but he picked a great stone! A while back he talked about color, and how a jeweler told him that better color is important, but I really love warm color stones and I let him know I would rather have a larger warm colored stone than a smaller icy stone. I would have loved an O-P like haven's, but he doesn't like stones that warm, so he compromised with a J color 1.55ct stone. Other than that, I left it in his hands and he did great! Anyways, let him know a couple things that are important, but don't overwhelm him with details, and I'm sure it will work out great!!!

 

[annee]

No, not at all... My boyfriend was all set on buying a stone from a family friend. Ever since I found PS, I convinced him to visit GOG with me. Fast forward 2 months later, the first word out of his mouth when he opened up that ring box was "WOW" I haven't seen my ring yet but I have complete faith that it is a beauty in that the bf can't stop staring at it.

If he hasn't purchased the stone yet maybe you could steer him in the direction of a PS vendor. He can't go wrong with any of them. And congrats, must be so exciting for you!

 

[Amys Bling]

I know what you are talking about- being overly educated about diamonds leads to the fear of not getting something that is deemed worthy of your knowledge.

I think PS is a great tool- people say ignorance ic bliss- but is it really? If you never found PS and gotten a ring "not worthy" but didnt know it- at some point down the road you probably would have found PS or had a friend get a PS worthy ring and then you would have second guessed yourself after the fact. Trust that you have given him the notes he need!

 

[Glitz]

If you never found PS and gotten a ring "not worthy" but didnt know it- at some point down the road you probably would have found PS or had a friend get a PS worthy ring and then you would have second guessed yourself after the fact.

I was going to say Yes and No, but you're right. I would rather get it right the first time and not have to worry about upgrading. I've told my SO what vendor to go to and what cut I want, from there he can't really go that wrong. Just trust that your SO will ask lots of questions and the vendor he goes with is a trustworthy one that will point him in the right direction.

 

[mjertl]

If he hasn't purchased the stone yet maybe you could steer him in the direction of a PS vendor. He can't go wrong with any of them. And congrats, must be so exciting for you!

I'm not sure if he's bought the stone yet, and I don't want to ask because I don't want to ruin the "surprise" for him, or the sense that he is in charge of this purchase. I suspect things may be in the works, as he flat-out told me it would be before our Hawaii trip (Nov 14), and I have a very strong feeling it will be in early October when the leaves are changing colors (long story). Because my ring size is 9 or 9 1/4, and my tastes are a little unique (at least for where we live), he won't be able to just buy it straight off the shelf.
Anyway, I told him about how cut was the most important thing to me, told him which shapes I like, told him about ASET images etc, referred him to PS for more info, and gave him WF, JA, GOG, BGD, and blue nile's websites. He's very smart and I'm sure he'll research it because it's a major purchase. I'm just really used to having a lot of control over things, and I have no control over this, and every time someone posts a picture of a suboptimal diamond I think, "oh no, please let my love choose well!"

 

[CaprineSun]

I know what you are talking about- being overly educated about diamonds leads to the fear of not getting something that is deemed worthy of your knowledge.

I think PS is a great tool- people say ignorance ic bliss- but is it really? If you never found PS and gotten a ring "not worthy" but didnt know it- at some point down the road you probably would have found PS or had a friend get a PS worthy ring and then you would have second guessed yourself after the fact. Trust that you have given him the notes he need!

I confess, this is what is happening to me right now.

 

[MayFlowers]

I do and I don't. On the one hand, if I had never found PS, BF probably would have completely surprised me with a 1 carat stone either from a maul store or Shane Co that was poorly cut. On the other hand, now that I have found PS, I HAVE to have some say in the diamond selection because I am simply too picky now. I also will not be able to reach the 1 carat mark with our budget. Part of me is still having trouble letting go of that 1 carat size. But the other part is trying to focus on how amazingly sparkly the diamond will be!

Also, I am glad that we will be getting it right the first time. I know I will never have regrets over my stone. As for being overly educated, it has definitely happened to me. BF went through a "phase" where he wanted the ring to be a surprise, but he also wanted to get me what I wanted. So, I typed up all my preferences on rings and diamonds. Once he saw it, he realized it would just be better to let me help

 

[pregcurious]

I think you have a good attitude about it. I got married pretty young, over 10 years ago, but I found PS a couple of years ago. My 0.5 carat ering stone is a non-GIA certified G SI2 with a "fair" cut (not good cut), and is not something I would choose today. However, I have come to love a diamond for what it is. When my husband offered me a complete upgrade, I found PS and chose to only change the setting, and kept it modest to be consistent with the stone.

Your marriage is forever, and hopefully you will be at a point where you can work on an anniversary ring, if you would like to have something you have full control over. In place of replacing the wedding set, I am working on an anniversary ring set which I'll wear instead of my wedding set sometimes.

 

[mjertl]

Part of me is still having trouble letting go of that 1 carat size. But the other part is trying to focus on how amazingly sparkly the diamond will be!

In trying things on, I realized 1 ct is actually very large, even on my size 9 fingers... (I live in the midwest, so that helps )I guess the carat mark is my version of "mind clean," but I realized in trying on stones that I don't want something HUGE (0.9 would be nice though...) I can deal with a smaller stone, but I definitely do not want a poorly cut one!

 

[mjertl]

I have come to love a diamond for what it is.

Yes, exactly. I know I will love anything he gives me, because I love him, and an engagement ring is only a symbol of that. It would just break my heart for him to spend so much money on something not worthy of his hard-earned cash!

 

[LittleRiver]

I think we both wish I hadn't found PS

I will say that PS-perfect cut isn't necessary for a beautiful stone IMO. With all of the information you have given your BF I am sure he will choose something lovely for you.

 

[LittleRiver]

I do and I don't. On the one hand, if I had never found PS, BF probably would have completely surprised me with a 1 carat stone either from a maul store or Shane Co that was poorly cut. On the other hand, now that I have found PS, I HAVE to have some say in the diamond selection because I am simply too picky now. I also will not be able to reach the 1 carat mark with our budget. Part of me is still having trouble letting go of that 1 carat size. But the other part is trying to focus on how amazingly sparkly the diamond will be!

Keep in mind that a poorly cut "1 carat diamond" usually faces up much smaller than a well-cut round. I have seen stones locally that were cut for weight (1.00, 1.01 etc) and faced up at 6mm, which is the diameter of a well-cut 0.80 carat stone. So you may not be losing as much size as you think!

 

[maebelle]

I am SO glad I found PS, because otherwise I would've ended up with a highly treated, probably overly-priced blue sapphire that would have been pretty, but not a knockout! I'm so glad to have learned about precision lapidaries and the amazing things they can do with rough.

 

[whatamiwithoutapurpose]

I have a love-hate relationship with PS. I am so thankful in finding PS for it has provided me more knowledge but seeing so many beautiful stones and pieces, I can't help but want more, something bigger, the urge to upgrade...the list can go on and on.

 

[Verdy]

How exciting! I'd be dying of anxiousness if I were you!

I have a love-hate relationship with PS. I am so thankful in finding PS for it has provided me more knowledge but seeing so many beautiful stones and pieces, I can't help but want more, something bigger, the urge to upgrade...the list can go on and on.

This definitely. The knowledge is so helpful in making sure that you get something worth your money, but it's also difficult because sometimes you find yourself in a compromising position where you want nothing less than the highest standards. BF and I went through several phases, from Zales, to Walmart, and even to Overstock before finding PS, we finally settled for Brian Gavin Diamonds - a vendor that I only imagined in dreams of buying from. We are all very lucky to have found such a great community though, everyone here always has a positive attitude and all the well seasoned PSers are eager to help us first timers out.

 

[Gypsy]

I did pretty much the same thing you did. And I wanted a fancy. I gave him specs, the shape, and pointed him to vendors I had already vetted (this was pre-PS). And I let him go....


Though it was pre-PS I did know that cut was very important, mostly thanks to spending 2 hours at the a hearts on fire dealer who explained the importance of cut.

My DH isn't a researcher, but he did fine. He drove to 5 states in one day (east coast so it's not as bad as it sounds) to look at them in person (before web proliferation) and he picked the brightest prettiest stone he saw... that's what he always say. And he was so proud of it and still is. As he should be.

But everyone is right. When he's standing there holding the ring all you can think is.. OMG, it's happening, he REALLY meant it, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me... ring?? Oh right, ring... bright and sparkly!! YAY. I'm ENGAGED TO BE MARRIED!!!

That's it. As much as we spend time obsessing over our rings it's a footnote (a lovely and sparkly one) but still a footnote to the main event.

Oh, I should say that I purposely asked for a temporary setting. I knew I was all over the place with settings and didn't want that pressure on him. It worked out great for us. I highly recommend this to anyone who wants a complicated setting.

 

[lvcushion]

I agree that being on PS can raise your standards, but I think it's also a good thing. I'm glad I can be knowledgable about the huge financial decision my SO will be making. My interest has encouraged his interest in it.

I have 2 cttw round studs that have no certificates and while I'm happy with them, and happy with the price I paid, I do wish they sparkled a little bit more sometimes. I also think the stone in my engagement ring is much more important than the stones I might wear in my ears for the next few years.

Now that I know different kinds of certificates exist and there are many aspects to grading a diamond, I feel I can make safer financial decisions. So even though PS has exposed me to more expensive standards, I feel better about how the money is being spent.