Hello All,
I have a simple, maybe silly question(s). Here''s the story... this is my first marriage and my fiance''s second. He has two kids, 9 (f) and 7 (m), from first marriage....they visit from Canada and stay with us in VA during the summer for 7 weeks (7/10-8/28 this year). We got engaged in Feb. and decided on simple/small wedding or elopement. In fact, we''ve waited so long to plan, that eloping might be our only option. If we had a "real" wedding we would want to (of course) include the kids/entire familly etc. The only problem here is the kids are only here in july/august. Well, and this is where i start to look like a jerk, his first wedding was in August and I''m honestlly just not up for having our anniversary in the same month. Our engagement date is in the same month as theirs... and why I know this.. I''ll never understand. We''ve done everything to avoid any other event duplication. BUT I''m worried that I''m being too difficult/silly/whatever... what do you think? am I being a jerk? is this going to scar the kids forever? They''ve expressed no interest in being ring/flower people...or involved in any real way
just desire to be present.
One more thing... right now.. the plan is to have an "event" August 21st to bring both families/all friends together to celebrate us. The us being all four of us...as a "newly" joined family - with out the actual vows being exchanged. I guess it will be more like an engagement party/shower/reunion/house warming/etc. We plan on making it just like a wedding reception minus the wedding...portraits/flowers/cake/speeches/etc. The rest of the family (except my mother - only child/single parent) seems to be handling it just fine.. but I guess I''m feeling guilty or something. So...what i''m wondering is.. if you renew vows, does the anniversary date change? Seems like a stupid question, but having two "real" weddings seems like the only way to make everyone happy. I''d have a date not in August and the kids would be involved/or at least present, at the "real" thing.
Thank you for any help.
I have a simple, maybe silly question(s). Here''s the story... this is my first marriage and my fiance''s second. He has two kids, 9 (f) and 7 (m), from first marriage....they visit from Canada and stay with us in VA during the summer for 7 weeks (7/10-8/28 this year). We got engaged in Feb. and decided on simple/small wedding or elopement. In fact, we''ve waited so long to plan, that eloping might be our only option. If we had a "real" wedding we would want to (of course) include the kids/entire familly etc. The only problem here is the kids are only here in july/august. Well, and this is where i start to look like a jerk, his first wedding was in August and I''m honestlly just not up for having our anniversary in the same month. Our engagement date is in the same month as theirs... and why I know this.. I''ll never understand. We''ve done everything to avoid any other event duplication. BUT I''m worried that I''m being too difficult/silly/whatever... what do you think? am I being a jerk? is this going to scar the kids forever? They''ve expressed no interest in being ring/flower people...or involved in any real way

One more thing... right now.. the plan is to have an "event" August 21st to bring both families/all friends together to celebrate us. The us being all four of us...as a "newly" joined family - with out the actual vows being exchanged. I guess it will be more like an engagement party/shower/reunion/house warming/etc. We plan on making it just like a wedding reception minus the wedding...portraits/flowers/cake/speeches/etc. The rest of the family (except my mother - only child/single parent) seems to be handling it just fine.. but I guess I''m feeling guilty or something. So...what i''m wondering is.. if you renew vows, does the anniversary date change? Seems like a stupid question, but having two "real" weddings seems like the only way to make everyone happy. I''d have a date not in August and the kids would be involved/or at least present, at the "real" thing.
Thank you for any help.