Engagement Photos: How to avoid looking awkward?

[galeteia]

I wasn''t really sure where to put this thread, since I''m not officially engaged yet, but here goes...

I went out tonight with my FF and a friend of mine who is an amateur photographer to take some photos of us together. We aren''t engaged yet (ironic that we are running around getting affidavits and whatnot for the immigration paperwork, but aren''t officially engaged!

) but seeing as we''re about to be separated for at least 12 months and probably won''t see one another until we get civily married.

So I won''t get an engagement period to speak of, and definitely no engagement photos. So we went out tonight to do a sort of pseudo-engagement shoot, if that makes sense. For some reason, I really want those pictures of us.

Which brings me to my question: How do you avoid feeling totally awkward taking these pictures? I mean, my friend was fairly good at catching us being ''us'', but there has to be tons of photos of us looking all posed and bashful.

How did you do it?

 

[Blenheim]

Gala,

Is it posing for photographs that you feel is awkward, or is it taking engagement photographs before you''re engaged? I''ve been getting the feeling that you''re a little uncomfortable doing (for lack of a better term) engagement stuff prior to officially being engaged. The fiancee visa paperwork''s the main thing, and very understandable, and this could be the same problem. How about thinking of these as photographs of the two of you, rather than putting the label on it? Would that make it less awkward?

If the problem is just being photographed, I''m not really sure what advice to give you. I feel like cameras do catch all of us at awkward moments though, and often you just have to sort through all of the weird pictures to find the ones that really capture you as a couple.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 6/30/2006 2:15:36 PM
Author: Blenheim
Gala,

Is it posing for photographs that you feel is awkward, or is it taking engagement photographs before you're engaged? I've been getting the feeling that you're a little uncomfortable doing (for lack of a better term) engagement stuff prior to officially being engaged. The fiancee visa paperwork's the main thing, and very understandable, and this could be the same problem. How about thinking of these as photographs of the two of you, rather than putting the label on it? Would that make it less awkward?

If the problem is just being photographed, I'm not really sure what advice to give you. I feel like cameras do catch all of us at awkward moments though, and often you just have to sort through all of the weird pictures to find the ones that really capture you as a couple.

Specifically, it's posing for photos. I am the least photogenic person on the planet-- so much so that I've had people not believe it was actually me in the photos.

I guess it's how the planes of my face are read by the camera, but photos pf me always look hideous. I'm not the only one who has come to that conclusion-- when your best friend and mother make "Ugh! What a HORRIBLE picture of you" comments, you know it's not just in your head. So I'm already dreading how they will look, and feeling sort of gangly and fat, all at once, as I pose for the photos.

Pictures. Sigh.

But you do bring up a good point. I am uncomfortable (and unhappy) about having to do engagement/marriage details before being engaged. I'm so envious of people who aren't separated for a year at a time... and envious of people who get to have a real engagement, bridal shower, and wedding. I've accepted that the traditional way of things is not going to be possible for us, and I would happily marry my FF in the middle of an intersection, without any guests, barefoot and wearing a burlap sack, because I love this man and will do whatever I have to for us to be together.

That still doesn't stop me from mourning the things I will miss out on, and that my family and friends won't be able to share them with me. Am I being unreasonable/silly? It just seems like we're having to plow through all the unfun stuff (the paperwork is ... extensive and stressful) without having any of the fun stuff, like the e-ring, engagement announcement, engagement congratulations from our loved ones... and no engagement photos. These will be the closest thing we'll have to them.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Hey - I would make the suggestion that if you can afford it, having a really good photographer helps a lot. Neither me or my FI is photogenic (I always look like a pale, bloated whale in pictures), but I think our engagement pictures came out really well, because of our talented photographers (I think my really talented makeup artist helped a lot too). Here''s a small sampling to give you an idea of what I mean:

 

[monarch64]

Ambergretchen, your pics turned out beautifully!

Galateia: we didn''t have professional engagement pics taken. We never could find the time, even though our photog offered us a free session along with our package! Anyway, I wanted to suggest a fun idea...what if you printed out the first engagement pics (or just pics of you together that you already have) and used them during the photo shoot? I''m trying to say you could sort of relax by looking at the pics together, probably laugh over them, etc...while your photographer shoots some candid shots of the two of you. Typing it out here it sounds pretty silly, but I thought maybe it might help you. Good luck!

 

[galeteia]

Gretchen, your photos look lovely! I totally sympathize with the fear of looking like a bloated whale... I've heard the camera adds 10 pounds, but in these photos, I look like it's added at least twenty!

Actually, I am cautiously pleased with how they turned out, but unfortunately, it seems that the pictures are either a good shot of him or of me, and a terrible photo of the other!

So I settled on pictures of us that aren't great, but aren't horrible either. Oh well...

I'm uploading a few, let's hope this works:

 

[Mara]

get a good photographer, even an amateur one...and then figure out which poses feel natural to you. also find your most flattering poses by looking in the mirror so you can replicate them later. but some of the best photos are those just captured at odd angles, i love pictures like that.

so i don''t think there is any rhyme or reason really. we didn''t have official e-photos taken...we had an engagement party thrown for us by my parents and the photographer we got was a coworker who was dabbling in photography and he had an amazing new 10mp camera (3 years ago that was a big thing!!) and he did a GREAT job and took over 600 pictures of the party. all for the cost of me taking him out to lunch....hehee. so that was kind of our engagement photo thing and we got some great shots of us and we were dressed up and looking dapper, so it worked out very nicely.

but really even if you only have a handful of photos that came out nicely, that''s still awesome!!

 

[galeteia]

Maybe I should put a watermark on these or something? I will be using some of them probably for the photos of us in the visa application, so maybe I should do something to prevent them being used by someone else.

Anyway, what do y''all think of them?

Edit: I love "y''all". I think English needs to bring back a second person plural, dangit! It''s necessary and useful!

 

[Mara]

i feel naiive but why would anyone want to use your pictures?

i like your favorite picture as well as the one where you said you were fooling around. i think that maybe if you guys were smiling or laughing more that you would look more natural? unless you naturally don't smile or laugh a lot?

hehee.

but really any picture that you feel looks like YOU ... is the best.

 

[galeteia]

Date: 7/2/2006 3:36:05 PM
Author: Mara
i feel naiive but why would anyone want to use your pictures?


i like your favorite picture as well as the one where you said you were fooling around. i think that maybe if you guys were smiling or laughing more that you would look more natural? unless you naturally don''t smile or laugh a lot?

hehee.


but really any picture that you feel looks like YOU ... is the best.

Eh, I''m just being paranoid. I doubt anyone would really want to use them, seeing as they aren''t us... this paperwork makes me jumpy!

These pictures are more or less the only ones where we AREN''T laughing. And, um, neither my sweetie nor I are particularly photogenic when we laugh... he says he looks like a village idiot, and suddenly I look like I have more chins than a... well. They aren''t flattering AT ALL.

There are more pictures of us goofing around, but I need to crop them because they''re too big.

At one point, we wandered over to a trimmed tree because the branches hadn''t been cleared away yet, and broke into an impromptu ''contemporary dance'' number with the branches. It was hilarious. Must crop those...

 

[codex57]

Date: 7/2/2006 3:36:05 PM
Author: Mara
i feel naiive but why would anyone want to use your pictures?

Being a male, and coming from other male dominated boards, I''ve learned to NEVER post your picture up permanently. Guys can do all sorts of horrible things with a picture. The milder stuff is just crazy photoshopped pictures. However, piss off someone (or just encounter a random bad apple), and they can find all sorts of stuff about you based off what can be determined in the picture, the IP addresses used, etc.

 

[zekele]

Galateia I think your pics are adorable! They don''t look posed or awkward at all. They look like they captured you guys during loving moments, no awkwardness or obvious posing. I was happy with my engagement pics but neither my fiance nor I are thrilled with getting our pictures taken, and they are definitely a bit stiff

 

[galeteia]

Zekele:Thanks

It looks like you two had a GORGEOUS setting for your engagement photos! I''m happy to hear that we don''t look unnatural; we''re a pretty animated couple and our faces are usually doing something weird and expressive (a la Jim Carrey

) so the pictures are usually terrible (but funny) and the rare ones where we are ''somber'' seem to be the most flattering. The stiffness feeling I can completely empathize with-- I''m sure it was even worse for you because it was a professional photographer who was being paid for his time. Was there pressure to have ''good'' photos, in your minds?

Chi: I made an entire thread about the visa situation here: Visa Thread

So, are you the Australian citizen who petitioned for him to get a visa, and then he applied for the visa? If FF submitted the petition tomorrow, it looks like it would be 14 months at least before I can get down there to marry him. And we''ve got my medical exam paperwork to secure. Yowza.

Anyway, you can find all the nitty gritty details on the visa thread, if you want the full story.

 

[Chi]

Galateia - thanks for the visa thread...gosh reading everyone's experiences brought back memories....

I'm an Australian currently living in Toronto my hubby (Englishman) and I came over here on working holiday visa (the whole Commonwealth thing)...at first we were just living together re-aquainting after a 9 month seperation. We were engaged in Jan 06...it was great but we still had to sort out which visa to apply for and which country. It was an awful time as we wanted to relish the engaged feeling and not feel pressured to get married for the sake of a visa.

We realised we better get our act together and appliled for a fiance visa for Australia (paper work, proof, statements etc)...but that was only a temporary solution as it was ony a temporary status of 9 months.

So we tossed and turned whether I should go home and he sponsor me in the UK...I KNOW we were in the midst of organising his Aussie fiance visa...visa paperwork makes you do crazy things..."lets go for this"..."no this is a better option".

So one day Chima just said a week before going to New York he said why don't we get married there. We were married at City Hall...it was a small affair but it was the best decision ever. Once we returned to Toronto we changed his fiance visa to a spouse visa.

His spousal visa was granted last week...he will be coming home with me in September...

We want to get dual citizenship so the process will start all over again when we have to apply for my UK visa...so let the madness begin all over again...

I know our stories have only a little in common as I'm not familiar on how the US works...I just do hope you stick it out and if your heart of hearts feel you are meant to be...you will be...its not an easy road but stay strong stay focussed don't let anything get you down or question your relationship...stay true to yourself. I have a number of girlfriends who fell in love while we were all living in London and had to endure the distance and visa application. 2 of them are now married...1 is now engaged and that is my sis she lives in England and her bloke is in Australia...basically you are not alone...