Hey folks, so now I''m officially engaged and some of ya''ll asked for pics and hand shots- so here we go, its a long story, so I hope that you''re prepared for a doozy
(if you want to see the original ring shots and specs, just check out my other topic "my ring", posted a couple days ago.(The following story is one that I wrote to my friends to tell them of the good news- I edited it of course, for privacy''s sake. I also make many references to my faith- sorry if I offend anyone, I''m just keepin'' it real here.)
a quick background, I''m a family physician resident in training and my new fiancee is a medical student. We met last summer on a medical missions trip. She was a young, intelligent, very independent single woman, very content in her singleness. It took me a good many weeks to convince her to give me a shot. We started to date, and I moved from DC/MD/VA region where I''d spent my previous 26 years, to Cleveland to do my residency training program. I knew two months into dating her that she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It took her much longer to get to the same point, because she''s a lot more careful than I am.
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My proposal totally didn''t go according to my grand scheme that I had
already planned out for November 4 - (a stop in the salon for a hair
do and manicure (for her), a proposal with violins playing "Anne of
Green Gables" (S''s favorite movie) music in our little grassy
spot where she told me that she was ready to date me about 13 months
ago, getting all nicely dressed up and pimped out and having dinner at
this little italian place which is supposed to be the best restaurant
in Cleveland and then a performance by the Cleveland Orchestra with an
ad
in the orchestra program that professed my
love for her. It was to be quite the proposal spectacular- but all
these plans were for naught! Turns out that the Lord had something a
little bit different in mind for us.
He seems to do that a lot doesn''t He? Turns out that the way things
happened couldn''t have been any better for S and myself.
I''d already purchased the ring (see other post) and had it in my
hands since Wednesday. It was, as they say, "burning a hole in my
pocket" and I really was having a hard time waiting to give it to her.
So I went to S''s place for dinner after work yesterday- we''ve
both been really busy with stuff in the hospital, so we generally only
get to see each other maybe once during the weekdays- certainly not a
ton. (I''m a physician, she''s a medical student) She''s been pretty tired and a lot of things that have been going
on (i.e. wedding planning, honeymoon planning, getting used to the
idea of marrying into my family, etc...) had been really weighing on
her. I could sense it in her voice. S is a bit, shall we say,
anal (in a good way), when it comes down to being organized and
planning (kinda like me :9)- and with such huge undertakings and a big
test coming up in two weeks, I could tell that she was feeling a bit
overwhelmed. (actually, really overwhelmed- she was pretty
discouraged) To be honest, it hurt my heart to hear the things that she was saying, but I knew that she was just sharing what her emotions were- what she was FEELING, not necessarily what she KNEW to be true.
We had a chance to talk things over some while we were waiting for the
chicken to bake and by the time dinner came around, she was feeling
better about things. She did share, however that it had been hard for
her recently, because even though we weren''t officially engaged, we''d
been moving along with these wedding / reception / honeymoon plans,
etc, and it was hard to explain to her friends that this all was
taking place despite not actually being engaged. It seemed a bit
anti-climatic to her and I guess girls seem to look forward to the
shrill screams of excitement and surprise when their friends discover
their engagement rings. I guess it''s harder for the girl, because she
has to wait for the guy to do the deed, while the guy knows what he
has up his sleeve.
anyhow, after I learned how much of a struggle things had been for her
I thought to myself, "What the heck am I waiting for?" Its obvious
that she''d be really blessed to just move forward with the engagement-
why make her wait for something that knows is coming? So I was like,
"What would you think if we just went ahead and did it, like, now?"
(In my head, I''m thinking, "What are you DOING- you haven''t even come
up with your speech yet?!")
She looked at me with surprise on her face. I could see the thoughts
coursing through her mind as she thought about this new possibility-
and slowly a small smile crept upon her face. "Are you serious?"
"Let''s do it!" I said, grabbing her hand.
There was a small delay while we packed away the leftovers and S
went to wash her face, but soon we were out the door, headed back to
my place. She was wearing an old sweatshirt, scrubs and just some lip
gloss. I was wearing my work clothes and an old fleece pullover
because I was cold. We were both a mess! I had planned on getting a
haircut before I proposed so our pictures could have that nicely
polished look instead of the grungy too-long-hair look that I have
right now. No longer- we walked hand in hand through the chilly night
breeze to my car and hopped in.
I couldn''t believe we were doing this- all my well laid plans were now
brushed to the way side and my mind raced furiously to think what I
was going to do with the 15 minutes that I had before I proposed.
What kind of props did I have at home? I had to do SOMETHING
interesting- you only get to propose once! I hadn''t thought out what
I was going to say once I got down on one knee- WHAT WAS I GOING TO
SAY? I had thought that I had two weeks to prepare my simple, yet
eloquent monologue that would touch S''s heart and move her to
tears of joy. Now I had about 13 minutes.
Getting home, I immediately whisked S upstairs to the unfinished
portion of the house to give me a little time to prepare a makeshift
proposal. Running desperately around the downstairs, I grabbed every
candle that I could find and nearly lit the coffee table aflame in my
rush to get them lit properly. There was a vase with some fake
flowers next to the sink in my kitchen. I snatched those up with
vigor- fake flowers are better than none, I say. By serendipity, the
Anne of Green Gables soundtrack that I had ordered off Amazon had
arrived earlier that day, and I shoved it into the stereo.
Now the ring... S had told me two weeks ago, her eyes filled up
with tears at the frustration of seeing me inwardly getting my
"panties in a bunch" as I tried to buy the perfect ring and plan the
perfectly romantic proposal. "All I want is you," she told me, "It
doesn''t matter what kind of diamond or ring you get- I''d marry you if
you gave me a ring made out of aluminum foil." It broke my heart to
hear her say that- to have my pride and desires for my own glory
shattered upon the real reason why we were going to get married- for
each other, because we love each other.
So anyways, two days earlier, I''d made a ring out of aluminum foil.
Actually, I made two, the first was too thick- it never would have fit
her petite little fingers. The second was just right- I''d put it
aside and saved it for November 4th. Yesterday evening, I ran into my
room, grabbed that little precious piece of aluminum foil- folded
neatly into a ring, and shoved it into the pocket of my fleece coat.
I thought momentarily about changing into something more presentable,
but didn''t- there simply wasn''t time. The upstairs was cold and dark
and I didn''t want S to be up there too long. I moved the welcome
rug onto the floor in the middle of the candles, to give me a place
where I could kneel without too much pain, and then got my Bible and
turned to a particular verse that held special significance to me.
The other ring, I hid under a blanket that I''d strewn upon the futon
sofa. (she knew pretty much what it looked like- she''d helped me
decide on a setting- hey, we''re practical folk). Candles (many which
were different "flavors") filled the air with a rich, fruity aroma as
their flames danced about.
Calling S downstairs and turning off all the lights in the house,
the last thing I did was hit the play button on the stereo system.
The music started to play, softly at first- I wondered if she''d be
able to recognize the song, because it sure didn''t sound distinctive
to me- but then again, I''ve never watched Anne of Green Gables.
She came down into the kitchen and peeked around the corner. I asked
her to close her eyes and give me her hands and she did just that.
Walking in front of her, and narrowly missing the dining room table
myself, I took her into the living room, with its little display of
candles doing their best to light up the extremely spur of the moment
set up. "You can open your eyes now," I told her.
And just then, the main orchestral part of the soundtrack I guess the
thematic element of the piece broke out from the intro percussion
section. Just right.
"It''s Anne of Green Gables!" she gasped, and in the flickering candle
light, I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. One beautiful
round one immediately dripped down her cheek. I told her about my
original plan with the violin duet, as I got down on one knee in front
of her. I was thankful for the rug.
My mind raced as I searched for the perfect, elegant words to say to
express what she meant to me, to let her know how much I loved her,
and to let her know that I was, and always would be a sinner saved by
grace, that life with me would not be easy- but that I promise that it
would be an adventure...
And as I looked up into those gorgeous eyes, now dripping with tears,
I decided to go with the ol'' "stream of consciousness approach".
(when in doubt, you can''t go wrong with that!) I told her why I loved
her, and what a blessing that she was to me, I told her that I needed
her and that after a rambling, choked with emotion speech, promised
that until the day that I died, or the Lord took one of us home, that
I would strive to love her in the way that she deserved to be loved,
like Christ loved His own bride- the church. To be honest, I don''t
think that at that point, my words were too understandable- I was
choking too much to make it out.
Reaching into the deep pockets of my fleece jacket, I pulled out the
aluminum foil ring, feather-light and yet, even in the dimness of the
candles, sparkling, and held it out to her and somehow managed to
choke the words out, "S, will you marry me?"
She smiled and laughed through her tears, now coursing down her face
when she saw my ring.
"Yes"
I tried to put the ring on her right hand, (what! I''ve never done
this before and its not like I was going to practice on E, my
roomate!) and she gently guided me to her left hand. It slid on
perfectly- size 4.5. I stood up and lifted her up in a huge embrace
as we laughed and cried together. She told me that this was so much
better than a complicated proposal that I could ever have planned.
("What? No kiss?" you ask. Well, truth is, S and I haven''t kissed yet (at least not on the lips- we''re waiting for our wedding day to do that. Yes, I totally am old school. I think the anticipation makes it all that much better when it actually happens! I''ve never actually kissed ANY girl/woman on the lips- lets just say I''m a slow mover)
Of course you realize that the story doesn''t end there- so we sat down
again on the hard floor of my living room, and I turned to my Bible to
a chapter that I had chosen to read through- for many different
reasons. It was 1 Corinithians 13- you may know it, but I''ll put a
section here again to remind all of us:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in
evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres. ...
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of
these is love."
Faith, Hope and Love - the keys to having a joy filled, God honoring
and growing marriage. I have F-H-L engraved on the inside of the
platinum band of the ring. I would have written the whole words out,
but S''s fingers are too small to write words that size on the
inside of a band.
With that, I pulled out the diamond ring from the box and gave it to
her. We took off her REAL engagement ring (the aluminum one) and put
it on her right hand, and put the "substitute" ring on on her left hand in its stead.
She loves it- it made me so happy to see her face light up as she
examined it. I think it looks much better on her than it did sitting
in a little box. The real original ring will find its place of value
in S''s 5% box- we certainly don''t to run the risk of losing it.
And just like that, S, my best friend, became my fiancee, and I became hers. Holding hands, we kneeled together in prayer and offered this next stage in our relationship up to the Lord.
I know that it doesn''t end here- there will be tons and tons of trials to come. Marriage is like that, sometimes, even when you''re not "feeling it", you''ve got to just hold on- to trust that God will make things ok. Thats what happened with my parent''s marriage- hold on through the tough times and one day, when you come up for air on the other side of things, you''ll be able to say "Praise God!" because it will mean so much more because of how much you''ve weathered along the way. Forgiveness, grace, mercy and love- that''s what its all about.
So, this story started out with a ring and ends with a little reminder of what is really important in our lives. I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed being part of it! If any of you are interested in reading more of my writings (I write a lot), you are more than welcome to drop by my weblog- you can message me to get the web address.
Whom have I in heaven but You,
and earth has nothing I desire but You.
My flesh and my heart may fail
But God is the STRENGTH of my heart and my PORTION forever...
- Psalm 73:25-26
blessings,
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