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Elopement protocol?

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surfgirl

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 5, 2007
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4,438
Hi all! My long time boyfriend just proposed and we have decided that we are eloping for various reasons (and we love the idea of a very private ceremony without all the hoopla). We will be informing our immediate family immediately after the ceremony, however, when we get home, we''d like to send out formal wedding announcements to the wider family and friends, parents friends, etc. Does anyone have any good ideas as to how to word an elopement announcement? Also, how did you handle those who would like to send a gift? I know that for an elopement you dont expect gifts but I also dont want to register somewhere because that seems presumtuous of us. OTOH, I think some people will want to send a gift so do you register somewhere anyway, "just in case?" I''m at a loss as to the etiquette of eloping and I can only find a small paragraph or so in any of the etiquette books I''ve looked in. Thanks!

Also, if anyone has firsthand experience with a great place to elope, I''d also be interested in that as well. I''m thinking so far of: Big Sur (Ventana Inn or Post House Inn), Orcas Island (though I cant find a luxe enough accomodation for a wedding night), or Hawaii (Lanai Four Seasons Lodge at Koele). Ultimately I''d love to elope to The Wakaya Club in Fiji but the prices are a small fortune so I''m trying to re-create that somewhere else. Any thoughts?
 

firebirdgold

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 30, 2005
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2,216
Oh Orcas Island is Sooooooooooo Romantic! Rosario Resort is probably the fanciest place on the island. There are also some really nice B&B''s with a lovely country or woodland feel. You might also want to consider a vacation rental home.

Anyway, we had a mini-DW with just our parents and siblings so we''re sending out announcements after the fact. (really should have put them in the mail the day we left, oh well) So ours read: My mom and Dad & his Mom and Dad joyfully announce the marriage of their children Me and My Husband on March 10th 2007 Kona Hawaii.

I got wording ideas from the site we ordered the announcements from invitationconsultants.com. (very happy with the results) There were a bunch of suggestions like:
Because you are good friends
we thought you''d like to know
that we ran off and got married
We did it on the go!
Bride
and
Groom
tied the knot
on Date X
at Location Y
 

surfgirl

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 5, 2007
Messages
4,438
You know, we stayed at Rosario this past summer and found it over rated. And now Rock Resorts has stopped managing it, which might be a good thing...I found some other options there but nothing really luxurious...and i''d have to piece it all together myself. Then I saw someone here mention Mendocino and I found this place called the McCollumb House or something like that. It looks wonderful though I''ve never been to Mendocino before, and they are very experienced at doing all manner of weddings.. Anyone??? It seems to have everything we''d want, along with a wonderful location between some old huge trees on a cliff over the ocean. Great floral options (i love the idea of wildflower bouquets tied to the trunks of the two big trees flanking the wedding site), and a wonderful photographer...Has anyone been there before?
 

Dee*Jay

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 26, 2006
Messages
13,367
I don''t know how much good this will do, but I''ll share it anyway. The happy hubby and I eloped in Las Vegas on a new years eve (but were married just after midnight so it would be Jan. 1 for tax purposes). The outside of our announcements said "Happy New Year" and on the inside they read:

On January 1, 1999

Dee and Bill Eloped in Las Vegas

What did you do to celebrate?

And then we put all sorts of Vegas style confettie in it, like dollar signs and Elvis heads, that sort of thing.

As for gifts; without registering you never know what you''ll get. We received random things from people who I''m sure meant well, but without any guidance from us in terms of a registry were completely on their own in terms of buying thing. (We actually would have preferred not to receive anything, but some people will send something no matter how many times you ask them not to.) We had one gift that even 8 years later we have no idea what it is. Someone suggested it''s a magazine rack. I''m still not convinced...
 

surfgirl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 5, 2007
Messages
4,438
Dee, your post made me laugh out loud about the mystery gift! I like how you worded your announcement, though it really only works if you get married on a holiday, but it sounds really cute. I found one example in a stationary advert in a wedding magazine that I might try to use and I''m sure my local stationer will have some ideas...but I''m open to other suggestions as well. I think the example I just saw had a really loved B&W photo of bride and groom and underneath it said something like:
WE DID IT!
So and so are are thrilled to announce their marriage.
We exchanged vows on April 8, 2007, Big Sur, California

And then I think you can put "At home" in the bottom corner so people know you''re address for a card or whatever.

I think you''re right about registering just in case. I got that book someone recommended - "Let''s Elope" and it has some good ideas on that front. They contend that people will actually send better gifts because they don''t have to blow a lot of money traveling to your wedding in the first place, which is my thinking for 2 upcoming family weddings which are in out of the way locales where it''ll cost me at least $1000 for the weekend plus gift. Since I''m not so close with these brides I''m going to decline flying across the country for the wedding and instead send a nice gift...And I think that my parents friends, knowing them since I was a little kid, will want to send something anyway so might as well be prepared...just not expecting, but prepared nonetheless.

Has anyone been to Big Sur and stayed at either The Ventanna Inn or The Post Lodge? Just wondering as they both have elopement packages, though the Mendocino location seems to be speaking to me...similar to Big Sur but the location seems very skilled at small mini weddings.
 

TCBug

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 12, 2006
Messages
58
I got married back in the stone ages (20 years ago) but we had "invitations" and "announcements" -- the difference being that the invites were sent out before the wedding and asked the person to attend the wedding and reception, where the latter were simply to announce our happy union. (Thus, not asking the person to come to our wedding/reception or to give us a gift). We sent lots of the "happy announcements" so folks who we knew could not attend would feel "in the know," but would not feel the need to give a gift.

Edited to add: you send the announcement AFTER the wedding so there's no confusion. It is different from the invite, simply stating that you're happy to announce your marriage, etc.
 
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