E-Ring budget vs. whole wedding budget

[vsc]

Hi everyone,

Common sense would suggest that the amount spent on the engagement ring would be strongly correlated with what a is spent on a wedding - for example, wedding amount would be about x times what the ER cost.

However, looking around me, I've seen everything from maybe the ring costing twice or more what the wedding cost (think 1.5ct+ and church basement potluck), to most of my friends with inexpensive rings (got engaged as students) and medium-large parties (paid for by parents). Obviously I don't know the details of the situation of most people, and there may be many reasons why the ratio varies.

I would be curious to know - what was your experience and what influenced your decision?

I'll start - In our case, the ratio ends up being wedding = 8-10*ER, ER was under priced and 2nd hand and we were having two ceremonies that ended up much more expensive than we expected. I estimate that without these factors the ratio would have been 4-5.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I'll start - In our case, the ratio ends up being wedding = 8-10*ER, ER was under priced and 2nd hand and we were having two ceremonies that ended up much more expensive than we expected. I estimate that without these factors the ratio would have been 4-5.

can you please explain it to me in first grade math?..

 

[vsc]

Sorry if I was unclear - it's pretty late here....

So the wedding cost between 8 and 10 times what the ER cost. If we paid retail for the ER and had a more standard wedding situation, the wedding would have cost 4 to 5 times what the ER cost.

For example, say we paid $1,000 for the ER and $8,000 to $10,000 for the wedding - that's a 8 to 10 ratio, but a more realistic situation (ER bought retail, one ceremony only) with otherwise similar choices, would be $1,500 for ER and $6,000-$7,500 for the wedding - a 4 to 5 ratio.

Does that make sense?

 

[rosetta]

Wedding is about five times cost of e-ring. Affordable only as parents giving us most of the money.

 

[JewelFreak]

Does there need to be a correlation? Every couple has different priorities & preferences re: both wedding & e-ring. If it were my choice, I'd weigh which was more important to me -- a big wedding or a ring I would look at every day of my life. At base the purpose of a wedding is to share your public commitment to one another with family & friends whom you love & vice versa. Presumably, after a certain point the bigger it gets, the less close some guests are to the couple. I'd sacrifice that part, make it a more intimate gathering, & put the rest toward a ring I loved. But everybody's different.

--- Laurie

 

[iota15]

I'm very curious to hear other's answers.

We're just beginning the planning process but we had a total budget for both wedding and e-ring. We decided to put more into the ering than the wedding. We're both pretty simple people and hoped for a low-key, intimate wedding - HOPED being the key word. We're paying for everything ourselves (or at least, we're not expecting any family money) and we won't put anything on credit.

 

[mayerling]

Sorry if I was unclear - it's pretty late here....

So the wedding cost between 8 and 10 times what the ER cost. If we paid retail for the ER and had a more standard wedding situation, the wedding would have cost 4 to 5 times what the ER cost.

For example, say we paid $1,000 for the ER and $8,000 to $10,000 for the wedding - that's a 8 to 10 ratio, but a more realistic situation (ER bought retail, one ceremony only) with otherwise similar choices, would be $1,500 for ER and $6,000-$7,500 for the wedding - a 4 to 5 ratio.

Does that make sense?

This does seem to apply to me. I estimate that our wedding will cost about 8-10 times what the e-ring cost. I'm not exactly sure of the figures as we haven't booked everything yet.

 

[yennyfire]

Our wedding cost almost exactly the same as my original ering. We didn't plan it that way, it just happened. We wanted a simple wedding with family and close friends only, at an intimate B&B in the mountains. So, our ratio was 1:1.

 

[mrswahs]

I've never heard anyone correlate the two. It's interesting to hear.

My e-ring was about $X and our wedding is about 3x $X when all is said and done for the DW, AHR, and paying for travel for those who can't afford it on their own.

 

[mary poppins]

I don't think there's necessarily a correlation between the price of the Ering and the wedding. It depends on the couple's priorities and whether anyone besides the couple is contributing to paying for the wedding.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Interesting. We spent roughly the same amounts on the e ring and wedding. We paid for both ourselves.

I've heard of people spending 3x the amount of the ring on the dress alone and I have never understood it. Why spend so much on a dress that you wear for one day and less on a ring that you look at for the rest of your life?

I guess everyone has different priorities.

 

[Camille_Abigail]

None. No corralation here. My husband bought the original set and then we went in and upgraded the diamond before we got married. It was a very cheap set, we were very young and very poor. Our parents paid for the wedding, I had no budget, just advice to get a good price and not go overboard on things. My rings were 1k and our wedding was 12k.

 

[chemgirl]

My wedding was about 3X the cost of the ring. The wedding was very small and my engagement ring is a Cartier Trinity so it wasn't that expensive in the grand scheme of things.

I am fairly practical and jumped on DH's suggestion that we keep everything low key and then buy a car with the money left over in the budget. Actually it went more like this:

"Wow, 32k? The average wedding in our area costs 32k? Seriously?! We could get married and get a new car for that!"

"Um, so I can buy a new car then?"

"Whaaa? Well I'm ok with it if you don't mind a small wedding."

I sound so unromantic, but I'm really happy with the decision.

 

[iheartscience]

Ha, never thought of it like that. If you're budgeting for the e-ring and wedding together, I'd choose to spend as much as possible on the e-ring since it lasts forever!

 

[marymm]

At the time we decided to get married, I did not want an ER. We paid for our (small) wedding ourselves - and prioritized our honeymoon over the wedding, basically spending twice as much on our honeymoon - but truthfully our wedding was perfect for us, no regrets, did not feel like we were limiting ourselves, and to this day our guests tell us it was their favorite wedding to attend - and our honeymoon was glorious, still the best trip of our lives. (And, yes, 12 years later, I do have a couple ER-type rings now, which come in over the then-cost of the wedding and honeymoon.)

 

[Haven]

I think it's common sense to put your money where your priorities are.

You need to figure out how much you want to spend on each, and do that. I wouldn't rely on any formulas to figure this sort of thing out, as the formulas are likely to be based on other people's choices, and who knows if those people's priorities correlate to your own in any way.

We spent twice as much on the wedding as we did on my engagement ring. That was how it worked out for us.

Frankly, I couldn't give a fig about how other people choose to spend their time and money. I'm much more concerned about doing things according to my own and my DH's beliefs.

 

[FrekeChild]

Ering stone: $180
Ering setting: $500
Total: $680

Wedding band: $72
His band: $250
Total: $322

Grand total jewelry: $1,002

Wedding: $15,000+/-

No correlation here either.

But I got exactly what I wanted for an ering (blue spinel) and we got exactly what we wanted for a wedding.

 

[Circe]

No correlation here, either, though in the opposite direction from most people: my e-ring cost about five times what the wedding did! See, at the end of the day, we decided to elope on the beach .... If I ever upgrade, that ratio is going to go from "silly" to "ridiculous!"

 

[fierypyropixy]

No correlation. The only correlation I've ever heard was the traditional 2-3 month's salary being the amount one should spend on the ring.

Plus, in a traditional wedding (mine, everyone else I know) you have unrelated parties paying for things. Husband-to-be buys the ring based on his finances. Bride's parents foot the bill for the wedding, based on their finances.

I suppose it makes sense if the couple is modern or older (multiple marriages), and paying for it themselves. But honestly at that point I'd rather get married at City Hall and put all the money into the jewelry.

Ours worked out to be that wedding was a little over twice as much as the rings.
Rings: $12k (didn't know about PS yet, but thankfully no mawl rings were involved! Whew!)
Wedding ~$26k (but this was a small wedding, 100 people.)

 

[luv2sparkle]

Well, for those of us who got married many years ago, I don't think it is in any way the same as it is now.

My original engagement ring: $250
My wedding band :$600 DH:$1000 for the same band. Mine we found a great deal on, his we had to order. Gold was really high in 1980.

I don't really have a firm idea on how much our total wedding cost. We paid for most of it ourselves. My dress $150. Flowers $1500.
Church was free, because we were members. Maybe the whole thing, 3-4 K. We had a cake and punch reception and each of our
families had a get together for their friends at their houses. My family wanted to serve alcohol, DH's didn't. No one asked us our opinion,
they just did it....

Now, for daughters wedding. Her engagement ring was about 12K, her wedding was 25K approximately. We paid for the wedding.
She found a setting that she loved at a jewelers that was 7K, which by the way was more than my Leon setting.

 

[somethingshiny]

My initial ering was $100. My second ering (which I was married in) was about half the cost of the wedding. Weddings here tend to be very conservative as do erings so I'd say that mine was about the norm. My upgrade was about twice the cost as the wedding.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Ha, never thought of it like that. If you're budgeting for the e-ring and wedding together, I'd choose to spend as much as possible on the e-ring since it lasts forever!

Yeah, this is me too. But, my situation was my dh was still in school and didn't have much money and I am not the type who's ever desired a big wedding. We eloped in Vegas and I don't even remember what we spent. I had always said I'd rather spend more on a diamond than on the wedding, but in the end, we didn't spend much on the ring either b/c of school tuition.

People have priorities...If I were one who was luckily to have family offer $20K or whatever toward a wedding, I'd still rather go to vegas and pick a nice ring and put the rest toward savings for a house!

 

[shihtzulover]

I know that my fiance and I are really the odd ones out. We spent a significant amount more on the engagement ring than we plan to spend on a wedding. We actually plan to have a very, very small ceremony - we may even elope. Even factoring in travel costs and such, I still think it will be a good amount less than the engagement ring cost - and that's not even including our wedding rings yet.

 

[Dancing Fire]

this was back in 1986...her Ering cost $7300 and the wedding cost about $4500. i don't believe in big expensive weddings... $30-$35k for 8 hours of fun? ... i'll take a $35K diamond any day of the week over a $35k wedding. a beautiful diamond sparkles forever.. a beautiful wedding sparkles for 8 hours...

 

[merilenda]

Our wedding cost almost exactly the same as my original ering. We didn't plan it that way, it just happened. We wanted a simple wedding with family and close friends only, at an intimate B&B in the mountains. So, our ratio was 1:1.

This is exactly what we're doing. I didn't set out with the goal in mind to have the budget the same, it's just how it's working out. A ring is a much higher priority to me than a wedding. I don't feel like we're sacrificing by just having parents and close friends at an intimate B&B wedding. It's exactly what we want.

 

[Sam121]

this was back in 1986...her Ering cost $7300 and the wedding cost about $4500. i don't believe in big expensive weddings... $30-$35k for 8 hours of fun? ... i'll take a $35K diamond any day of the week over a $35k wedding. a beautiful diamond sparkles forever.. a beautiful wedding sparkles for 8 hours...

ditto. We are in the midst of planning so am not sure what will be the exact amount, but my guess is the wedding is going to cost less than the ring, as we are doing a destination wedding with close friends and family only.

Whenever I watch Say Yes to the Dress on TLC and the amount those dresses cost for just a few hours of wear it really makes me feel painful...those could be a pair of nice stud earrings which will last forever!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Our wedding cost about 20x the cost of my original e-ring (sapphire solitaire)

Our families gave us money for the wedding, which I could not spend on my ring (though wish I could have!), which explains the ratio. Compared to what *we* spent out of pocket, the ratio was more like 6x.

 

[chemgirl]

this was back in 1986...her Ering cost $7300 and the wedding cost about $4500. i don't believe in big expensive weddings... $30-$35k for 8 hours of fun? ... i'll take a $35K diamond any day of the week over a $35k wedding. a beautiful diamond sparkles forever.. a beautiful wedding sparkles for 8 hours...

ditto. We are in the midst of planning so am not sure what will be the exact amount, but my guess is the wedding is going to cost less than the ring, as we are doing a destination wedding with close friends and family only.

Whenever I watch Say Yes to the Dress on TLC and the amount those dresses cost for just a few hours of wear it really makes me feel painful...those could be a pair of nice stud earrings which will last forever!

My favorite Say Yes to the Dress moment was when the family and sales people were trying to push the bride to go $1500 over her dress budget. She said "but that's a new sofa!" and they all stopped bothering her.

Its all a matter of priorities. If somebody has always dreamed of the perfect ring, or dress, or venue, then that's where they'll spend more money.

 

[Autumnovember]

Ours are identical in cost...funny, because now that I think about it... when I told the planner my budget, it was exactly the cost of what my ER was. Interesting!

 

[manderz]

We don't have a wedding budget yet, as we haven't even begun planning, but I don't plan on spending much on it. I'm thinking eloping/destination with a few guests in Vegas, so travel expenses will be the majority of the budget.