DSS... when does it end?

[Kim N]

It's only been a month, and DSS has already started to set in. I feel like only you all would understand. When does it end??? At this point I feel like it would need to look like this for DSS to not happen.

 

[kenny]

When DSS ends ...

 

[MissGotRocks]

I don’t think it ever really ends. Your eye adjusts and everything just becomes ‘normal’. Then you have to take thinking to the next level. What ‘sounds’ big? Was there an original goal? Have I maxed out the amount I want to spend on a single piece of jewelry? Even though it might not look big now, is it - realistically speaking? Would another half carat of weight or x amount of diameter make me happier? Is there a size where it becomes ridiculous or makes me feel very self conscious? I think it is these kinds of questions that can keep us a bit grounded about size and goals! Many of us here now have diamonds that would have far surpassed our original thinking about a diamond ring! Isn’t it crazy?? Lol!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

When a RB solitaire covers my whole finger!

 

[kenny]

I'd guess even Liz got DSS after wearing the 33.19 ct, D VS1 Krupp Asscher for a while.

"Oh Richard come on, don't you love me?
I can hardly see this little ol thing."

 

[Kim N]

When DSS ends ...

When a RB solitaire covers my whole finger!

Indeed, that's looking like what it would take for it to end!

I don’t think it ever really ends. Your eye adjusts and everything just becomes ‘normal’. Then you have to take thinking to the next level. What ‘sounds’ big? Was there an original goal? Have I maxed out the amount I want to spend on a single piece of jewelry? Even though it might not look big now, is it - realistically speaking? Would another half carat of weight or x amount of diameter make me happier? Is there a size where it becomes ridiculous or makes me feel very self conscious? I think it is these kinds of questions that can keep us a bit grounded about size and goals! Many of us here now have diamonds that would have far surpassed our original thinking about a diamond ring! Isn’t it crazy?? Lol!!

@MissGotRocks I love this post--thank you! I've been trying to remind myself of this type of very rational, practical reasoning. When I first found PS, I thought 1ct was big! I have far exceeded the original goal and maxed out the amount I want to spend on a single diamond. It is the largest diamond by a long shot of my social circle, and I already feel self-conscious. But when I'm just out and about alone or with DH (who must never see this post! ), it doesn't seem big.

Please someone tell me I'm being crazy!

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

Indeed, that's looking like what it would take for it to end!



@MissGotRocks I love this post--thank you! I've been trying to remind myself of this type of very rational, practical reasoning. When I first found PS, I thought 1ct was big! I have far exceeded the original goal and maxed out the amount I want to spend on a single diamond. It is the largest diamond by a long shot of my social circle, and I already feel self-conscious. But when I'm just out and about alone or with DH (who must never see this post! ), it doesn't seem big.

Please someone tell me I'm being crazy!

I'm going to need some details about your gorgeous diamond.❤

 

[seaurchin]

I'm kinda over it tbh.

 

[MamaBee]

I don’t have DSS anymore since my upgrade. It’s plenty big enough for me. I truly wouldn’t want a larger diamond. What I’m doing now is pining for an emerald cut..I drool over them. I tell myself I can’t have everything I want. I’m determined to just enjoy everyone else’s..

 

[MissGotRocks]

Indeed, that's looking like what it would take for it to end!



@MissGotRocks I love this post--thank you! I've been trying to remind myself of this type of very rational, practical reasoning. When I first found PS, I thought 1ct was big! I have far exceeded the original goal and maxed out the amount I want to spend on a single diamond. It is the largest diamond by a long shot of my social circle, and I already feel self-conscious. But when I'm just out and about alone or with DH (who must never see this post! ), it doesn't seem big.

Please someone tell me I'm being crazy!

No you are not crazy - perspective just gets skewed. You have a large, beautiful diamond and I am sure you love it! I think I must have missed this ring so congratulations! Do you think it would help to focus on another piece of jewelry that you would like to have? I honestly think that sometimes we get fixated on things is such a way that we lose our sense of joy about what we do have. The great thing about jewelry is that no piece has to be forever so knowing that you do have choices - even if that means going larger at some point - should make it easier to enjoy this diamond. I will say though that because you wouldn’t want your husband to know your feelings tells me that even you doubt the fact that it is too small. I don’t say this to be judgmental as I know he would probably think ‘here we go again - lol!’ I am just saying this because you probably know he wouldn’t validate your feelings on the diamond being too small.
Wear it and enjoy it in all its glory! There may come a time that you will have to have that ‘come to husband. ‘ talk if the nagging in your mind won’t stop. In the meantime, enjoy it, lean on us like minded people and go to Home Depot to watch it put on a show!!

 

[bludiva]

your ring is

i ended up with a bigger ring than i'd planned and i was self-conscious about wearing it for all of 2 days, then it seemed normal....it hasn't shrunk further yet so, there's hope?

congrats and enjoy your beautiful ring.

 

[Arcadian]

Get an even bigger colored stone....lol But, stay on the cheap side. no sapphires OK? Amethyst, Citrine, Topaz (and you can get some lovely blues for pretty cheap) It might help to some degree and give you something big.

I personally do not wear diamonds on my hands. I wear them on my ears only because the surface real estate there is super tiny...lol

 

[Kim N]

I'm going to need some details about your gorgeous diamond.❤

It's a 4.3 LGD.

I'm kinda over it tbh.

I don’t have DSS anymore since my upgrade. It’s plenty big enough for me. I truly wouldn’t want a larger diamond. What I’m doing now is pining for an emerald cut..I drool over them. I tell myself I can’t have everything I want. I’m determined to just enjoy everyone else’s..

This is where I want to be. @seaurchin was there anything in particular that got you to that point? @MamaBee, I can see why--Winter is just glorious.

No you are not crazy - perspective just gets skewed. You have a large, beautiful diamond and I am sure you love it! I think I must have missed this ring so congratulations! Do you think it would help to focus on another piece of jewelry that you would like to have? I honestly think that sometimes we get fixated on things is such a way that we lose our sense of joy about what we do have. The great thing about jewelry is that no piece has to be forever so knowing that you do have choices - even if that means going larger at some point - should make it easier to enjoy this diamond. I will say though that because you wouldn’t want your husband to know your feelings tells me that even you doubt the fact that it is too small. I don’t say this to be judgmental as I know he would probably think ‘here we go again - lol!’ I am just saying this because you probably know he wouldn’t validate your feelings on the diamond being too small.
Wear it and enjoy it in all its glory! There may come a time that you will have to have that ‘come to husband. ‘ talk if the nagging in your mind won’t stop. In the meantime, enjoy it, lean on us like minded people and go to Home Depot to watch it put on a show!!

I just kept nodding my head in agreement as I read your post. You bring up so many good points. I do love everything about the diamond other than the minor wish that it were bigger. And honestly, like you said earlier, I think my eyes would adjust to a larger one pretty quickly and I'd be back where I am now. I've only had it for a month so I'm not going to make changes any time soon, but eventually I might re-set it into a halo or three-stone for the change of scenery. I have been trying to re-focus my thoughts onto stacking bands to pair it with.

your ring is

i ended up with a bigger ring than i'd planned and i was self-conscious about wearing it for all of 2 days, then it seemed normal....it hasn't shrunk further yet so, there's hope?

congrats and enjoy your beautiful ring.

Thank you! And that is wonderful that you haven't had any shrinkage. I think if I focus on being grateful for this ring and/or think about other pieces of jewelry, I will eventually get there.

Get an even bigger colored stone....lol But, stay on the cheap side. no sapphires OK? Amethyst, Citrine, Topaz (and you can get some lovely blues for pretty cheap) It might help to some degree and give you something big.

I personally do not wear diamonds on my hands. I wear them on my ears only because the surface real estate there is super tiny...lol

As a matter of fact, I ventured into the CS forum for the first time this week. I may have a new obsession.

 

[FL_runner]

I have a modest size ER by PS standards but plenty blingy for me- I would say I definitely adjusted to it after a few months but in my career field I feel it would be inappropriate to go bigger- although there are larger rings and lots of bling in my social circle. So, maybe DSS gets tempered by the practicality of actually wearing the item regularly?

 

[LilAlex]

Please someone tell me I'm being crazy!

OK, if it helps: you're being crazy.

Switch to colored stones -- there is always a better-colored sapphire that you can covet. May be bigger; may be smaller. No one but you and a handful of PSers will even know the difference...

 

[kenny]

Yes, DO switch to colored stones.
Just make sure they are Fancy Colored Diamonds, graded by GIA to be fully natural in both color origin and material being mined from the earth, not lab created.

Of course buy only primary colors with no secondary modifying hues.
Get pure red, pure green and pure blue.
For the green and blues get Fancy vivid only.
Do be sure to get em in large carat weights, 1 ct and up, and also buy examples that happened to be also cut for ideal light performance.

 

[Kim N]

I have a modest size ER by PS standards but plenty blingy for me- I would say I definitely adjusted to it after a few months but in my career field I feel it would be inappropriate to go bigger- although there are larger rings and lots of bling in my social circle. So, maybe DSS gets tempered by the practicality of actually wearing the item regularly?

As we start attending social events again, I may (and hope to) find this to be true. Right now, wearing it regularly just means WFH or going to the grocery store.

OK, if it helps: you're being crazy.

Switch to colored stones -- there is always a better-colored sapphire that you can covet. May be bigger; may be smaller. No one but you and a handful of PSers will even know the difference...

Have already started to covet some CS...

Yes, DO switch to colored stones.
Just make sure they are Fancy Colored Diamonds, graded by GIA to be fully natural in both color origin and material being mined from the earth, not lab created.

Of course buy only primary colors with no secondary modifying hues.
Get pure red, pure green and pure blue.
For the green and blues get Fancy vivid only.
Do be sure to get em in large carat weights, 1 ct and up, and also buy examples that happened to be also cut for ideal light performance.

Sure, just give me a few lifetimes to save up and I'll get this one, and it doesn't even satisfy the weight criterion.

 

[jaysonsmom]

I'm kinda over it tbh.

I feel the same, diamond size wise I’m good, so no dss, but PS has fueled my appetite for more diversified jewelry pieces (eg, tennis bracelets, or antique pieces) which never crossed my mind. I think the only way to quell dss is to avoid PS or similar websites!

 

[seaurchin]

@seaurchin was there anything in particular that got you to that point?

There are far larger and better diamonds on here than mine but I still just started to feel like it was a little too much flashing wealth for me, around the people I know who don't have as much and also safety-wise. I decided I'd rather have something more subtle. I do like a larger stone on my hand though, so I'm working on a new e-ring with a colored stone.

 

[kenny]

Sure, just give me a few lifetimes to save up and I'll get this one, and it doesn't even satisfy the weight criterion.

Plus, I've seen MUCH better blues.

 

[kenny]

The hue of this blue ain't too shabby ... that is if you don't mind cutesie smaller diamonds.

Blue diamond sells at Christie's for $57.5 million

A 14.6-carat blue diamond auctioned at a Christie's in Geneva for $57.5 million, becoming the most expensive diamond ever auctioned.

www.cnbc.com

 

[Kim N]

I feel the same, diamond size wise I’m good, so no dss, but PS has fueled my appetite for more diversified jewelry pieces (eg, tennis bracelets, or antique pieces) which never crossed my mind. I think the only way to quell dss is to avoid PS or similar websites!

I'm addicted to PS, but you're right, staying away would help a lot.

There are far larger and better diamonds on here than mine but I still just started to feel like it was a little too much flashing wealth for me, around the people I know who don't have as much and also safety-wise. I decided I'd rather have something more subtle. I do like a larger stone on my hand though, so I'm working on a new e-ring with a colored stone.

Thanks for the perspective. That's why I already feel self-conscious.

The hue of this blue ain't too shabby ... that is if you don't mind cutesie smaller diamonds.

 

[monarch64]

PS is a play land for people who have some (NICE) spare change to spend on jewelry. It’s been fun for me to watch over the years as I’ve been engaged and married twice. That said, it’s also a place to gain perspective. When I came here it was bc I was curious how my 1.5 carat diamond e-ring would be perceived in one of the southern states (major city). I didn’t gain much clarity but I stuck around anyway.

So does DSS ever go away? Sure. For many reasons. People aren’t always focused on bigger and better. If that’s your jam, I think you should reevaluate your priorities. I say that as a person who has sold off all of her diamonds, and kept only heirloom jewels/jewelry.

 

[kenny]

...
People aren’t always focused on bigger and better.
If that’s your jam, I think you should reevaluate your priorities. I say that as a person who has sold off all of her diamonds, and kept only heirloom jewels/jewelry.

Huh?
... "your jam"?

So anyone who differs from you on this matter should, " reevaluate their priorities"?
Really?

I can't believe you just posted that.

What if someone posted, "People who keep heirloom jewels should reevaluate their priorities."?

Howz bout we all just speak for ourselves?

 

[dk168]

I honestly do not have DSS and am very satisfied with my larger EC that I saved for 5 years and chose in person myself.

It is very sentimental and I shall never part with it.

I may, just may, re-set it some time in the future, as the setting is not sufficient robust that I found out the hard way when I managed to bend it out of shape by banging against a table, DOH!

DK

 

[seaurchin]

Another issue that might come into play with diamonds is that since they are so expensive compared to most other gems, there typically IS plenty of legitimate room to grow.

For ex., I would never wear any other center stone that was ONLY a dinky two or three carats. My manhands require at least five to eight carats just for normal proportionality.

 

[dk168]

@seaurchin I chose a setting (an air gap/line halo with a 4mm band at the top) to provide good finger coverage for my chubby middle RH finger which it at least a size 10 US.

I am contemplating re-setting it in a 3-stone with lab/MMDs, still to be decided.

DK

 

[ForteKitty]

@Kim N Your ring is beautiful and I'd love to see more pictures! my DSS comes and goes. It goes away if I haven't worn anything in a while, but returns pretty quickly once the rings are back on. Has nothing to do with comparing to/competing with other people, but how it looks "to me", at home, on my hand. My eyes just get used to the size. A 10mm diamond on a 13.5mm finger sounds like enough coverage on paper, but when I look at it in person, in 3D, generally from an angle because sane people don't walk around with their hand fully facing their face... there seems to be so much space left to cover!! A 3 stone would be a good idea for side coverage, and I'm still toying with the idea of re-setting mine as a 3 stone. We'll see. My brain knows i'm out of my mind but it wants what it wants.

 

[ForteKitty]

When a RB solitaire covers my whole finger!

Not just across the top, but you need some around the sides too, don't forget that. Otherwise you'll still see plenty of skin when you're typing on PS

 

[missy]

For me DSS is over.

My ring and studs are finally "big" enough.

But and this is a big but (I cannot lie haha) once I reset Bubbalah I am sure I will have DSS once again. So I am hesitant to reset and she does look incredible (IMO) in her current setting though I know it isn't everyone's cup of tea.


I think this perspective shot says it all. This, for me, is my perfect size. No DSS.






ETA this has nothing to do with other's and their bling and everything to do with me and what I love and enjoy wearing. I am completely satiated with the size.