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dogmama

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 1, 2008
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I love my ring and it is so beautiful. BUT someone made a comment about my ring that made me feel a little upset. They mentioned that my stone would look much bigger in a more delicate setting. Now I''ve been looking at my ring again and again thinking, Is it too masculine because its a thicker shank (4mm) and it doesn''t taper? Does it REALLY overwhelm my diamond? Is it because I have very small and long fingers (4.5)?

I''m pretty pissed that this person said this because I''m doubting my purchase. We went into GOG and loved the diamond and when they put the diamond in this setting it was like we both knew it was "the one." I loved modern, sleek settings. He liked that the thick shank flowed and didn''t look like it would collapse under the diamond.

But was I too hasty? Should I have thought it through more?

Would a thinner shank make that much of a difference in accentuating my stone''s visual appearance? It''s an ideal cut, AGS 000. So it''s got fabulous light return and it looks breathtaking. Did getting a thicker shank really make my ring look smaller than it is?

I don''t know. I just feel all sorts of conflicted.
 
I''m guessing your avatar is the ring in question? It looks fabulous! You setting doesn''t overwhelm the diamond at all. Could it be that this person is just jealous?
 
Your diamond looks PLENTY big in the exisiting setting to me. I also think it looks great, if that is the shank/ style you chose. How would you feel if the person hadn''t made that comment? Yes, generally a thinner band can make the diamond pop more, but it looks to me as if your stone can handle the thicker band easily. It is a lovely ring!
 
Date: 4/20/2008 10:12:54 AM
Author:lilythespitfire

I love my ring and it is so beautiful. BUT someone made a comment about my ring that made me feel a little upset. They mentioned that my stone would look much bigger in a more delicate setting. Now I''ve been looking at my ring again and again thinking, Is it too masculine because its a thicker shank (4mm) and it doesn''t taper? Does it REALLY overwhelm my diamond? Is it because I have very small and long fingers (4.5)?

I''m pretty pissed that this person said this because I''m doubting my purchase. We went into GOG and loved the diamond and when they put the diamond in this setting it was like we both knew it was ''the one.'' I loved modern, sleek settings. He liked that the thick shank flowed and didn''t look like it would collapse under the diamond.

But was I too hasty? Should I have thought it through more?

Would a thinner shank make that much of a difference in accentuating my stone''s visual appearance? It''s an ideal cut, AGS 000. So it''s got fabulous light return and it looks breathtaking. Did getting a thicker shank really make my ring look smaller than it is?

I don''t know. I just feel all sorts of conflicted.
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What a shame that someone''s comment has made you doubt your ring, and the choice that you & your fiance made.
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*hugs*

I think your ring is *stunning* and your diamond looks absolutely huge to me!! (What size is it?)

You''ve chosen a fabulous, unique setting - and just because someone else''s preference is for a thinner band, doesn''t mean you should change yours!! It''s perfect and lovely just as it is.

I was almost questioning myself over getting a yellow gold ring, as everyone else seems to have wg or platinum... but why should I? It''s about what I want, and not someone else''s ring.

Trust your instincts and love and enjoy your gorgeous ring!

x x x
 
They''re crazy! I had to look to find the specs on your ring. I was thinking at least 1.5ct if not more. I love the heavier setting. A thinner band might give the illusion of a larger stone, but it will never make the stone itself or the finger coverage larger. Don''t fall down the DSS hole, it can be bottomless. It''s one thing if it''s how you feel, but never listen to what some acquaintance might say. That''s a beautiful stone and a looks perfect on you.
 
I am no stranger to the experience of doubting my choice, second guessing it and being in a state of indecisiveness. I constantly ossilated between admiring my ring then only seeing its flaws, I loved it then hated it, thought it was beautiful, then saw it as ugly. I also looked for reasurance and guidance from others, was I imagining that it was gorgous or was I imagining that it was ugly.....what was the truth.

Well, in your case the thing that jumps out at me is that you went from wondering if your stone would indeed look bigger in a more delicate setting to being upset that maybe it is percieved to be masculine. That is a tall leap in logic.

First, your ring flows and looks modern, simple and very classy. It stands out for having a strong design that is balanced and well finished. The diamond looks great and in no way needs to look bigger because it looks all that and more. So whether it would look bigger is irrelivent because it looks fantastic and has plenty of presence.

Whether you are second guessing your first choice is another issue. We do sometimes have remorse for our choice even if it was love at first site. But at the end of the day you cant have every look, there is always going to be a different look that you could have chosen, it wont necessarily be nicer just different.

Dont let one thoughtless comment spoil your enjoyment of your ring. The main thing is that you like it.
 
Poppycock! Your ring is gorgeous on you and is so fluid and beautifully tapered that it really enhances the stone. I think it looks huge and my guess is that it the person who dropped that comment was just a little jealous and didn''t really know how to handle herself when she saw your ring.
 
I think your ring looks great!
 
I think it looks good! It''s not only about what setting would make your stone look larger or pop more, but about what you like and want to look down at everyday. Having a huge looking stone on a dainty band isn''t everything and it sounds as though you really like your setting. Which you should do, it''s pretty.
 
Your ring is stunning, and it''s what you wanted. That''s what you should go by, and you did. Stop second-guessing yourself because of one jealous and uncouth commentary.
 
Your ring looks huge in your avatar. Don''t listen to that person''s comment, just remember how you felt in GOG the day you saw it in the setting.
 
I agree with the posters above - your diamond looks plenty big to me!
 
I have a strong preference for thicker shank so I think your ring looks gorgeous in its current setting. Your stone looks large and seems to be able to pull its own weight, and overall looks very modern.

Some people prefer thinner, more delicate settings, while others (like me) prefer something with more "substance" and did not like delicate settings on my 4 1/2 size finger at all. So it''s all about personal preference and you shouldn''t let someone else''s preference affect how you feel about your beautiful ring
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First and foremost, your ring is simply gorgeous!

I completely understand how you may second guess your choice for the band. I also, have JUST purchased a H&A diamond from GOG. Yesterday, my BF and I went to a local B&M to try on settings. IT WAS COMPLETELY OVERWHELMING! So many styles, so many choices, so many widths, metals, head types, and on and on and on.

I initially thought I wanted a tension set. As it turns out, that style was not flattering on my finger...AT ALL. I also have long slender fingers...size 4.50, just like yours. I thought I knew what I wanted...a solitaire setting, and was at a loss to which one. Then, I tried on a very simple, yellow gold, tiffany setting....and my BF said "I love it" and I said "I love it"...and at last we had one.

I very well may be in the same boat you are, in a couple of weeks, when my ring actually arrives. I can only say that I hope that I am able to put all things in perspective, and put my feelings of conflict and confusion at bay and know that it was the right choice.

For now, for you, I hope you are able to focus on the beauty of the ring on your hand. It seems, based on others that have also posted, comments and critiques are too be expected even though they may be unsolicited and downright rude. Bask in the happiness and the compliments and try to ignore or brush off the others.

I completely agree with Sharon101: We do sometimes have remorse for our choice even if it was love at first site. But at the end of the day you cant have every look, there is always going to be a different look that you could have chosen, it wont necessarily be nicer just different.

If only we could pick several settings for our many moods and our many styles....but we can''t. So
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the ring!
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your fiance! Ignore the rest!
 
The only thing that you need to consider is your original comment of that "it was the one", and you love it. There are lots of rings that my friends have that I do not like the look or style of, but that is MY problem and not theirs, because THEY love them. I would never be rude enough to comment on someones ring negatively like your person did. Do we all like the same colours, style of clothes, haircuts, cars, on and on and on...you get my point. Your ring looks nicely balanced and your stone pops to be seen. Personal preference is PERSONAL. If you don't like the looks of someones ring then by all means make a nice comment on the stunning diamond and not the ring, but people should keep their negative comments or 'suggestions' to themselves. You love the ring and TAHT is all that matters. I think its a keeper and a head turner.
 
One thing that has amazed me reading these boards is how much people seem to be influenced by what others think or by some imaginary competition they feel with friends, sorority siisters, family membersm, etc.

Geez, get over it. Unless you marry Bill Gates, there's always going to be someone with a bigger better diamond. I was getting my hair done the other day and sat next to a woman who had what had to be a 8+ carat rock. You couldn't take your eyes off it. I heard her talking to her stylist later, it turns out she is an "escort" to put it delicately. Interesting way to acquire major jewelry.

I'm a little older than most of you (40s) and was in a sorority too, and it was NOT usual to get a 1 ct. + rock in your 20s when you first got married. I didn't get anything like that until 15+ years of marriage and I didn't ask for it, it was given freely.

Who cares what other people say about yoru ring. Most snarky or negative comments are coming from a place of jealousy or unhappiness. Don't worry about it.
 
I think you need to determine what your priorities are. If your priority is what your personal preference is, and your preference is for a thicker shank then you have exactly what pleases you most. Ignore any comments.

On the other hand if size is your main priority and it outweighs your desire for the thicker shank, then yes, a thin shank will make your rock look it''s largest.

Size priority or setting priority, it''s YOUR ring and only you can decide.
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Ooh.. I forgot something! :)

First, I still don''t know the specs on your stone, but from the photo it looks about 1.5 - 2ct to me.. we both wear the same ring size.

My ring doesn''t have a very thin band either, and it doesn''t taper - I think it''s actually 3mm width.

I deliberately chose quite a sturdy setting for my ring, because in the UK 1ct diamonds are actually quite unusual. Most stones of that size that you see on people would usually be CZs(!). What usually gives the game away with CZs vs diamonds is the weight of the setting... the CZ settings are often pretty flimsy (and cheap).

I made sure my mount was a bit more substantial so that it didn''t look like a CZ ring. :)

For the same reason, I chose a non-tapered setting.

Your stone looks plenty big enough as it is - and really doesn''t need any extra help in the ''make it look bigger'' department.

x x x
 
For everyone''s viewing pleasure, Lily''s fab ring: https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-gog-e-ring.82818/

Lily- Having gone from a thin shank setting (2mm) to a think shank seting (4.5mm) BOTH have their advantages and disadvantages. I have had more people comment on my ring in the wide setting than my thin one, because the wider setting is VERY eye catching. People definitely notice the chunk of ring on my finger!
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I will say that lately my mind thinks my diamond looked bigger in the thinner setting, but I really think it''s that darn DSS. My eyes are just used to the diamond in the new setting now, so it has shrunk. I could pop the diamond back into the thin setting and of course it will look bigger, but then go back to normal or even shrink again!

Your setting is gorgeous, it makes your stone POP and the ring as a WHOLE is stunning.
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lily, I think your ring is outstanding! And you know what makes all the difference in the visual appeal of a stone- cut, cut and cut (!), and you have an Ideal cut that''s a triple0! It doesn''t matter what you mounting that baby in, it''s going to sparkle it''s little
you know what off.

Please don''t listen to what other women have to say. You never know if they''re jealous and trying to get under your skin, if they''re doing it just to plant a little seed of doubt in your mind to gnaw at you, or if they just said something stupid or unfeeling without censoring their thoughts before the words came out of their mouths. It''s kind of the nature of engagements, weddings and women (unfortunately). When you choose your dress, someone will say you should have gone with a different style or you should have chosen ivory instead of white. If you choose roses for your bouquet, someone will say lilies would have looked much better. When you hand out your favors, someone will say "wait and see what we''re giving for our favors". It''s just the nature of this whole wedding process. On top of all that, have you noticed that EVERYONE seems to have gone more critical and outspoken over the years. Everyone everywhere has something to say about everything that people do, say, buy, wear etc. A sense of tact, diplomacy and propriety seem to have gone out the window about a decade ago.
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The only people you have to please are yourselves- you and your intended. Bottom line? It''s just you two.
 
Hmm...I actually think that wider bands can sometimes make diamonds look BIGGER and I think yours is truly lovely. Don''t let anyone rain on your parade!
 
In photographs, a more delicate band gives the center stone the illusion of being larger. In person, the size is the size. I really like your ring and wouldn''t worry about what some other person said. Well, that''s my opinion FWIW
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You have a beautiful ring and a beautiful setting. I''m a big solitaire fan, and yours is as good as they come. I think these delicate settings will run their course, and your setting will be more classic and timeless in the years to come.

Enjoy the compliments on your ring, and when someone says something stupid, just consider the source and let it be.
 
You can''t please everyone. Unsolicited advices are advices you need not lend ear to. You have a gorgeous ring. Enjoy!
 
Hi lilythespitfire,

Sorry this happened to you as I agree with the other posters that your ring is absolutely gorgeous!

I had a similar situation happen to me. Someone at work said to me, "oh, your ring looks about the same size as my e-ring from my first marriage... what is it about 1.5 carats?".... my center stone is 4.1ct and with the sides 5.1ctw. Needless to say, I freaked out a little and doubted my choice. But, I came to my senses, as there will ALWAYS be different opinions from people... and who cares right? Bottom line is pleasing yourself and no one else. I also sometimes think people make off comments because they are a little envious too.

Enjoy that beauty!
 
You know I was terrified to voice my doubts out loud to anyone. Honestly I thought my doubts would be perceived as a symptom of being shallow and materialistic. I''m not and size certainly was not the issue. I was worried so much that I had chose wrong despite my initial feelings of the "rightness" of it.

BUT thanks to all of you I''ve definitely realized that I should let one snobby person ruin what I enjoy so much. I love my ring and I''m sure all of you know how enthused I was in SMTR. So I feel silly for letting someone else dampen my spirits over this. I never stopped to consider that this person may in fact be jealous, want to make me feel doubtful or was just unable to understand tact!

cleo- Yay! Another thick band girl! And you''re right! It''s my preference not another''s that matters.

sharon101- You''re right. Different is just different, not always better. I''m keeping that in mind!

bobbi- CONGRATS! I hope it comes out beautiful and to your expectations. Post in SMTR and I''m keeping an eye out in the next few weeks.

sparxs111- I never thought of it that way. I''m glad for your bit of wisdom.

tradergirl- Thank you for your comment! It made me realize that this person probably felt that they were in some sort of imaginary competition. And needed to take me down a peg.
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february2003bride- Your ring was one of my inspirations (the beautiful ArtCarved Palladium!) as was the D.Vatche X Prong. It also makes me feel better knowing that my eyeballs are probably just getting used to the setting!

gemgirl- Yes. Tact appears to be disappearing at a fast rate.
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Thank you everyone who commented!! You all are such a supportive group of people! I am sitting in front of my computer feeling vastly comforted and relieved that 1. I should probably avoid this negative person AND 2. Enjoy my beautiful ring regardless of WHAT anyone says because I LOVE IT!

It has all inspired me to take a seriously obscene amount of photos that I will be resizing and posting over in SMTR within a day or so! So look out for them.
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You should have said, "You know, green doesn''t look very good on you!" (as in jealously). Jealous people can''t say anything nice so they say stupid stuff. That is ridiculous that your diamond would look bigger in a more delicate setting. It looks fabluous now! Please ignore that person and go on loving your ring.
 
Your ring is gorgeous.
 
Lily, I, too, think your ring is beautiful! I wanted to make a comment regarding your wedding band comments on your other thread. Why not get two bands....one plain one that matches your fiance''s and a thin diamond one to wear with the e-ring! It''s always nice to have a plain band to wear when you don''t want to wear your diamond. But I agree with you that a little sparkly band would really compliment your e-ring!
 
I''m glad you decided to ignore that horrible comment, because your ring really is stunning. Sometimes people hear one thing about rings and then repeat it over and over like it''s the gospel and everyone should abide. The fact is that we all have different tastes, and different rings look best on our fingers. Stay confident! And more pics please!!!!!
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