"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

[Jambalaya]

This thread is bouncing off Annette's thread about times that you have FELT beautiful. This thread asks what it's like to BE beautiful. I know we have some VERY attractive PSers, and Doberman's response about weird things happening to her because she's good-looking piqued my interest.

This is a very interesting read:

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/what-its-like-to-be-a-really-beautiful-woman.html

And then there's Samantha Brick of the "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" viral article. (I used the title of this article - which has since changed - to pique interest in this thread.) I do think that this piece was a little tongue-in-cheek and designed to raise her profile as a journalist, because although she's an attractive woman, she's probably not model material. So you might want to take this one with a grain of salt, because I thought it was more titillating than serious. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/...-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html

However, Sam Brick received global backlash for her article. The amount of criticism raised the question in a different article about why it's so taboo for attractive people to let on that they know they are attractive?

In trying to find the above article, I found another Sam Brick article which said that there's a dating website for beautiful people named beautifulpeople.com, and you have to pass a voting test by members before being admitted! The article mentions something named "reverse lookism." That's an interesting idea. If you are good-looking, have you been the subject of reverse lookism? https://usdailyreview.com/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful-the-story-of-samantha-brick/

Here, Sam Brick talks to other pretty women with this issue: (I think this might be the article asking about why it's taboo for attractive people to let on that they know they're attractive.) https://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2198729/Samantha-Brick-Why-does-beauty-bring-beast.html

So, if you are good-looking, are the pros worth the cons? What are the cons?

And to all of us: Why is it taboo for the beauties to admit that They Know? After all, they have eyes and a mirror!

My theory is that because beauty isn't common - most of us are NOT strikingly good-looking - it's therefore very prized, and is not only prized, but is conferred at total random, which is also the height of unfairness and goes against everything we industrious humans like to think goes into a good life, like hard work. So perhaps the combination of possessing a rare prize completely unfairly is what makes it taboo to say "I can see I'm beautiful by looking in the mirror." (LOL! Can you imagine?)

There were three girls at school who were just SO beautiful. They were nice, though, too.

 

[nala]

And to all of us: Why is it taboo for the beauties to admit that They Know! After all, they have eyes and a mirror!

So to answer this question—-I think people in general don’t like braggarts or humble braggarts. Period. The way that I see it—If a person brags about how much money they make, how accomplished they are, how beautiful they are , etc., they open themselves up to scrutiny—and in my experience, very few people live up to their bragging. And those who do measure up have no need to brag bc they are the truly beautiful or accomplished; confidence is not loud but insecurity is.

Take the Kardashians and JLO—all of them are considered beautiful and they love to flaunt their bikini selfies—most people view them as beautiful. But upon close scrutiny, the reality is that these pictures are the result of filters, cosmetic surgery, and fraudulent appearances so that they can sell their products. All this to say that when people brag, there is usually a hidden agenda.

 

[Jambalaya]

Article from the New York Times about someone who was fired for being attractive, and the case was dismissed: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/17/opinion/fired-for-being-beautiful.html

Fired for Being Beautiful​

By Michael Kimmel

• July 16, 2013

MOST everyone knows by now about “lookism” — the preferential treatment given to those who conform to social standards of beauty. Research suggests that people who are judged physically attractive are seen as more competent and more socially graceful than those who aren’t; they have more friends and more sex; and they make more money. One economic study found a 5 percent bonus for being in the top third in the looks department (as assessed by a set of observers), and a 7 to 9 percent penalty for being in the bottom 9 percent.
All of which might come as a surprise to Melissa Nelson, a 33-year-old dental assistant in Fort Dodge, Iowa. Ms. Nelson, you see, was fired in 2010 by her dentist boss, James Knight, because she was too attractive. Mr. Knight, who is married, said he felt that Ms. Nelson’s beauty was simply too tempting to pass unnoticed and that he was worried he would have an affair with her. And so as a pre-emptive move (and at his wife’s insistence), he fired her.
Ms. Nelson sued on grounds of sex discrimination. Stunningly, an Iowa district court dismissed the case, contending that she was fired “not because of her gender but because she was a threat to the marriage of Dr. Knight.” Naturally, she appealed, but last week the Iowa Supreme Court upheld the lower court’s decision (for the second time), maintaining its view that an employee “may be lawfully terminated simply because the boss views the employee as an irresistible attraction.”
Now, you might think that this case of reverse-lookism gives the gorgeous a taste of their own medicine. Better than being fired because you’re ugly, right?
But I propose that we think not about how such a case differs from its converse, but about how they are actually similar.
Discrimination based on beauty is rooted in the same sexist principle as discrimination against the ugly. Both rest on the power of the male gaze — the fact that men’s estimation of beauty is the defining feature of the category.
I know you might think: “Not so fast. What about good-looking or ugly men?” And yes, handsome men reap the benefits of lookism and the short, fat and bald suffer its penalties. Lookism is gender-neutral.
The workplace, however, isn’t. Think of all those mannequin-thin sales representatives for pharmaceutical companies, whose job is to persuade physicians, a great many of them men, to prescribe their products. Think of companies like American Apparel, whose top executive, Dov Charney, has been accused of firing employees that he judges unattractive. The writer Naomi Wolf has called this the “professional beauty quotient” — a standard of beauty that tacitly operates as an occupational qualification (as flight attendants have complained). The glass ceiling is reinforced by a looking glass.
But the professional beauty quotient has now morphed into what we might call the Goldilocks dilemma. Like the porridge in that famous fable, you can’t be too cold. But as Ms. Nelson found out, you can’t be too hot, either. You have to be “just right.” But just right in whose eyes? Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but the beholder in the workplace usually has a Y chromosome.

After all, the case of Melissa Nelson rests not on her beauty but on Mr. Knight’s perception of her beauty. In his eyes, her beauty was simply too tempting, too potentially injurious. (Ever notice, the writer Timothy Beneke once asked, how the words we use to describe women’s beauty — bombshell, knockout, stunning, femme fatale — are words that connote violence and injury to men?)

What a pathetic commentary on Mr. Knight: his willpower so limp, his commitment to his wife so weak, that he must be shielded from the hot and the beautiful.
Now, I ask you: Where have we heard that before — that men’s vulnerability to women’s sexuality and attractiveness is so great that women must be prevented from showing any part of their bodies to them?

Yes, like some Midwestern Taliban tribunal, the Iowa Supreme Court permitted a male boss to fire anyone who might conceivably tempt him. Mullah Omar would approve.

Maybe we ought to reconsider the case of Samantha Elauf, a Muslim teenager from Oklahoma, on whose behalf the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission sued Abercrombie & Fitch in 2009 after she was not hired because her hijab did not meet the retailer’s appearance policy. Maybe instead, the Iowa Supreme Court should require all beautiful women to wear burqas. With Ms. Nelson completely covered, Mr. Knight could pay full attention to his patients’ dental concerns — while ignoring the ethical cavity that mars discrimination law in Iowa.

 

[Jambalaya]

And to all of us: Why is it taboo for the beauties to admit that They Know! After all, they have eyes and a mirror!

So to answer this question—-I think people in general don’t like braggarts or humble braggarts. Period. The way that I see it—If a person brags about how much money they make, how accomplished they are, how beautiful they are , etc., they open themselves up to scrutiny—and in my experience, very few people live up to their bragging. And those who do measure up have no need to brag bc they are the truly beautiful or accomplished; confidence is not loud but insecurity is.

Take the Kardashians and JLO—all of them are considered beautiful and they love to flaunt their bikini selfies—most people view them as beautiful. But upon close scrutiny, the reality is that these pictures are the result of filters, cosmetic surgery, and fraudulent appearances so that they can sell their products. All this to say that when people brag, there is usually a hidden agenda.

I so agree with all this, nala!

ETA: But I also have sympathy if people are treated badly just because they're good-looking.

 

[Bron357]

Reminds me of a situation I experienced once.
I received a promotion at work and a male colleague while in the coffee room offhandedly and rudely suggested that it might have been my looks that helped.
What!
I said my promotion was based on my work ethic, my attention to detail, my ability to learn quickly and perform well. The rude male colleague snorted dismissively.
Another colleague in the coffee room turned and smiled saying that I was 100% correct because Mr X is gay.
touche.

 

[nala]

@Jambalaya it just occurred to me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe that’s why it’s taboo? Bc a person might pronounce themselves to be beautiful but that doesn’t mean others agree. I think that in this day and age, there should be no such thing as “traditional or conventional” beauty. Diversity. Inclusivity. Body positivity. We are making progress.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Most people who are beautiful know they are beautiful. Check your phone and count the numbers of selfies. I would say that if you have over 25 selfies and you change your profile pic on social media every few days….’fess up, you’re a beauty and you know it!

I would say that the biggest con of being attractive is that people think you got to a certain professional level or station in life based on looks alone. The reality is that you need people skills, EQ and brains too. Not denying that good looks help too.

 

[dk168]

I still remember occasions when a work function was attended by employees from different functions/departments, and one could instantaneously tell who worked in the more glamourous roles such as sales and marketing, and those who worked behind the scene in manufacturing, research and laboratory related roles.

Even now, UK's Chief Medical Officer and other scientists like him in similar positions are mocked about their looks, irrespective of their professional achievements.

Brains and looks seldom go together, however, exceptions do exist, of course; like everything else in life.

A personal beautiful on the outside, could be horribly evil on the inside; and the opposite is true.

There is more to a book than its cover.

A perfectly looking apple could be rotten on the inside.

Etc. etc...

Personal opinion and all that.

DK

 

[Jambalaya]

@Jambalaya it just occurred to me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe that’s why it’s taboo? Bc a person might pronounce themselves to be beautiful but that doesn’t mean others agree. I think that in this day and age, there should be no such thing as “traditional or conventional” beauty. Diversity. Inclusivity. Body positivity. We are making progress.

I do agree with this to a very large degree. I have found much beauty in people who were thought very plain by others, because of their wonderful personalities shining through. I also feel that we are getting away from conventional notions of attractiveness, and this is a fabulous thing. Textured hair seems to be more accepted than ever - thank god. (Mine is textured, and it has been very difficult over the years to look polished and put-together. It always looks like I haven't brushed it since getting out of bed. Luckily those pressures to have smooth, polished-looking hair are easing.)

But I think anyone would be hard-pressed to look at photos of, say, Cindy Crawford in her glory days and say that she could ever be considered unattractive by a vast majority of people. Another example of someone who seems to have garnered a universal agreement of her beauty is Princess Grace of Monaco. There have been studies that show how babies look longer at faces that are reasonably considered attractive. I do think that society is becoming more accepting of different types of beauty, but I still think that beautiful people - of every race - have weirder and different experiences than more "average" looking people. They report having a ton of weird experiences, anyway, plus a ton of approaches by the opposite sex, so there must surely be some consensus that some people are objectively better-looking than others. Otherwise, wouldn't we all experience the same level of romantic interest?

I can tell you that not once has a man sent a bottle of champagne to my table, or paid for anything randomly for me, or any of the other perks mentioned by the good-looking!

 

[Jambalaya]

Brains and looks seldom go together; however, exceptions do exist, of course

I think that's really unfair. There is no biological link at all between the formation of the face and the formation of the brain, or that the former would fall into a more pleasing or symmetrical shape at the expense of the latter. It's nonsensical to say that brains and looks seldom go together. But sadly, there seems to be a lot of prejudice against good-looking people, and this is a great example.

The majority of beautiful people I know have been very nice and absolutely no less smart than others. I know one who looks like a blond Cindy Crawford and is an HIV doctor, and another one who has a degree in chemistry. And an oncologist I had an appointment with once, a woman, was so, soooo pretty. She specializes in proton-radiation oncology. If you live near a major medical center, you will see plenty of gorgeous and smart people! In fact, I once joked that I reckoned Richard Branson must be in charge of recruitment at the hospital near me!

I know there are other gorgeous people who don't do themselves any favors, sure, but there are plenty of "average" people with less-than-stellar personalities and brains, too.

ETA: There are plenty of good-looking stars who have been very canny in business and laughed all the way to the bank, so I don't think brains and looks are such a rare combo as you think! Dolly Parton, for one. And so many more.

 

[dk168]

@Jambalaya you are of course, entitled to your own opinions on the subject matter, and I would ask you to respect mine.

Perhaps I was not sufficiently clear, in that my comments are based on my own observations and experiences in science-based professions and occupations, and exceptions do exist, as with everything else in life.

DK

 

[Jambalaya]

I don't respect an opinion that denigrates people's brains because of the way they look. That is a horrible opinion that is not worthy of respect.

 

[dk168]

I don't respect an opinion that denigrates people's brains because of the way they look. That is a horrible opinion that is not worthy of respect.

By all means disregard my comment that exceptions do exists, and home in just a very small part of my entire post.

DK

 

[Jambalaya]

Exceptions?? Do you hear your prejudice? You actually truly believe that people who are good-looking are so "seldom" also brainy that you concede there are exceptions?

I was being restrained when I wrote that you were being unfair. I was truly shocked, because I think your declaration that good-looking people are seldom brainy is one of the nastiest and most prejudiced things I have ever read on Pricescope. I cannot believe you are serious. Have you taken leave of your senses? Do you believe in phrenology as well? If you are a scientist, then you should know that the formation of the face and the formation of the brain is not linked. There is NO biological evidence that people who are good-looking have lower intelligence. How can you be a scientist and not know this?

And tell me, what is the difference between being prejudiced against someone's brains because of their face shape and being prejudiced against someone's brains because of their skin color? Both things are biological features that people cannot help being born with. So what's the difference?

But thanks for demonstrating the prejudice that good-looking people face. I cannot believe that any decent person, in this day and age, actually believes that good-looking people are "seldom" brainy. This exact attitude is where we got awful labels like "bimbo."

 

[missy]

There were three girls at school who were just SO beautiful. They were nice, though, too.

I actually just wrote a post in response to your other thread @Jambalaya. I think you hit the nail on the proverbial head here. It's not about one's appearance. It is about who one is. Their values and character. Are they kind? Are they nice? Do they treat others well? Who we are is so much more than what we look like and the 3 girls who were so beautiful when you were in school I bet were well liked because they were nice. Anyway here is my response from your other thread.

Jambalaya said:
I thought it was an interesting read about what it's like to go through life as a really beautiful woman.

https://www.thecut.com/2018/04/what-its-like-to-be-a-really-beautiful-woman.html

"
I think there are always going to be petty/small minded people who will dislike others for superficial reasons.

But if the woman in this article never found people who could accept her for her and not judge her by her appearance I have to wonder why.

It's like being super smart or very talented in a specific area. It is just one part of who you are. But who someone really is has nothing to do with their appearance. It's who you are as a person and how you treat others. It is about the content of your character and your values.

The problem with getting one's self worth from their appearance is if we are lucky we all get old and looks do fade. What happens to one's self worth then?

Personally I know many beautiful women and they have good friends and a good life. This is but one woman's experience and I have to wonder why her experience is what it is. Something isn't adding up. IMO. I do have compassion for her but I do not think we are getting the entire story.
"

 

[ZestfullyBling]

And to all of us: Why is it taboo for the beauties to admit that They Know! After all, they have eyes and a mirror!

So to answer this question—-I think people in general don’t like braggarts or humble braggarts. Period. The way that I see it—If a person brags about how much money they make, how accomplished they are, how beautiful they are , etc., they open themselves up to scrutiny—and in my experience, very few people live up to their bragging. And those who do measure up have no need to brag bc they are the truly beautiful or accomplished; confidence is not loud but insecurity is.

Take the Kardashians and JLO—all of them are considered beautiful and they love to flaunt their bikini selfies—most people view them as beautiful. But upon close scrutiny, the reality is that these pictures are the result of filters, cosmetic surgery, and fraudulent appearances so that they can sell their products. All this to say that when people brag, there is usually a hidden agenda.

I know after I get my
"filters, cosmetic surgery, and fraudulent appearances" I will be to die for!!! Lol

 

[doberman]

I actually just wrote a post in response to your other thread @Jambalaya. I think you hit the nail on the proverbial head here. It's not about one's appearance. It is about who one is. Their values and character. Are they kind? Are they nice? Do they treat others well? Who we are is so much more than what we look like and the 3 girls who were so beautiful when you were in school I bet were well liked because they were nice. Anyway here is my response from your other thread.




"
I think there are always going to be petty/small minded people who will dislike others for superficial reasons.

But if the woman in this article never found people who could accept her for her and not judge her by her appearance I have to wonder why.

It's like being super smart or very talented in a specific area. It is just one part of who you are. But who someone really is has nothing to do with their appearance. It's who you are as a person and how you treat others. It is about the content of your character and your values.

The problem with getting one's self worth from their appearance is if we are lucky we all get old and looks do fade. What happens to one's self worth then?

Personally I know many beautiful women and they have good friends and a good life. This is but one woman's experience and I have to wonder why hexperience is what it is. Something isn't adding up. IMO. I do have compassion for her but I do not think we are getting the entire story.
"

I've always had women friends. Not many, but enough. As I said in the other thread I call bs on the notion that every woman is going to be mean to you because they're jealous. If you feel that way, check yourself because something is wrong.

That doesn't mean there won't be difficult times. I remember entering a new school out east when I was 10 or 11. I was a little Midwestern putz with a pretty sheltered life. The very first day at school a girl threatened to beat me up because her boyfriend said he was dropping her and "going out" with the pretty new girl. She proceeded to tear me a new one about how I wasn't going to be so pretty after she was done with me. I had said maybe two words to the kid, and didn't even know what going out meant and the whole concept of boyfriend was not on my radar at all.

Just not what you want on your first day of school - not.

 

[missy]

I've always had women friends. Not many, but enough. As I said in the other thread I call bs on the notion that every woman is going to be mean to you because they're jealous. If you feel that way, check yourself because something is wrong.

That doesn't mean there won't be difficult times. I remember entering a new school out east when I was 10 or 11. I was a little Midwestern putz with a pretty sheltered life. The very first day at school a girl threatened to beat me up because her boyfriend said he was dropping her and "going out" with the pretty new girl. She proceeded to tear me a new one about how I wasn't going to be so pretty after she was done with me. I had said maybe two words to the kid, and didn't even know what going out meant and the whole concept of boyfriend was not on my radar at all.

Just not what you want on your first day of school - not.

Yeah there will always be mean kids and adults. People who hate you for no good reason. Because you are too smart. Because you are too nice. Because you are ---fill in the blank---. That has more to do with them than you. They feel threatened because of their insecurities. There will always be bullies/mean people. Always. But that is more the exception than the rule I believe. In general you get what you give and if you are kind and nice many people will appreciate that.

 

[jaysonsmom]

@Jambalaya you are of course, entitled to your own opinions on the subject matter, and I would ask you to respect mine.

Perhaps I was not sufficiently clear, in that my comments are based on my own observations and experiences in science-based professions and occupations, and exceptions do exist, as with everything else in life.

DK

Both my husband and I were both in the science profession (think lab coat and goggles)….and we get 2 types of comments:
1) Wow, you don’t look like a lab geek.
2) Are you a doctor?

I find the second one strange, a doctor can be attractive, but not a lab geek?

 

[stracci2000]

From the archives:

 

[nala]

I do agree with this to a very large degree. I have found much beauty in people who were thought very plain by others, because of their wonderful personalities shining through. I also feel that we are getting away from conventional notions of attractiveness, and this is a fabulous thing. Textured hair seems to be more accepted than ever - thank god. (Mine is textured, and it has been very difficult over the years to look polished and put-together. It always looks like I haven't brushed it since getting out of bed. Luckily those pressures to have smooth, polished-looking hair are easing.)

But I think anyone would be hard-pressed to look at photos of, say, Cindy Crawford in her glory days and say that she could ever be considered unattractive by a vast majority of people. Another example of someone who seems to have garnered a universal agreement of her beauty is Princess Grace of Monaco. There have been studies that show how babies look longer at faces that are reasonably considered attractive. I do think that society is becoming more accepting of different types of beauty, but I still think that beautiful people - of every race - have weirder and different experiences than more "average" looking people. They report having a ton of weird experiences, anyway, plus a ton of approaches by the opposite sex, so there must surely be some consensus that some people are objectively better-looking than others. Otherwise, wouldn't we all experience the same level of romantic interest?

I can tell you that not once has a man sent a bottle of champagne to my table, or paid for anything randomly for me, or any of the other perks mentioned by the good-looking!

I just read this response but I posted a comment in the other thread that I find very pertinent to this comment.
I don’t think that others’ reactions to me have ever made me feel beautiful. I have had grand gestures from men which I completely forgot about. I haven’t been single since I was 16. And even while I was married—had 5 men declare their love for me—colleagues, and friends. I’ve had a random serenade. A chef fly in to cook for my birthday. A flight attendant flirt with me and upgrade me to first class during my hot girl summer trip. Both of my husbands were “love at first sight” kind of thing and both husbands, according to my family, were “too handsome” for me. I imagine that you are now thinking that I look like Cindy Crawford or a conventional beauty but nope! I think a lot of others’ people’s reactions have to do with chemistry. Sure, people are conditioned to view models as beautiful but there’s lots of room left for other types of beautiful which unfortunately many of us don’t recognize about ourselves bc we are busy comparing ourselves to models and thus, never realizing the extent of our beauty.
ETA: I have to admit that sharing these experiences makes me feel conceited—like I’m bragging. Ugh. But hopefully you realize that I’m just trying to make a point, lol.

 

[Jambalaya]

and both husbands, according to my family, were “too handsome” for me.

WHAT?! Oh, that's nice!

I have to admit that sharing these experiences makes me feel conceited—like I’m bragging. Ugh. But hopefully you realize that I’m just trying to make a point, lol.

I do, lol!

 

[Jambalaya]

oth my husband and I were both in the science profession (think lab coat and goggles)….and we get 2 types of comments:
1) Wow, you don’t look like a lab geek.
2) Are you a doctor?

I find the second one strange, a doctor can be attractive, but not a lab geek?

I can't even with all the conclusions that people seem to draw just from someone's looks.

 

[Karl_K]

In the real world I have only had one person every say that to me not jokingly.
My response was, No, I dont like you because you are rude, obnoxious and an a-word. Which was 100% true.
People started chuckling and she ran off.
Her dad who owned the company was not amused but I was firing that company for not paying my invoices so it was worth it.
Shockingly I did eventually get paid in full.

 

[Jambalaya]

^^ Say what to you, Karl? "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"? People actually say that?? Lol! Even if I thought it, I would never say it!

 

[Karl_K]

^^ Say what to you, Karl? "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"? People actually say that?? Lol! Even if I thought it, I would never say it!

yep she said "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful" like she meant it.
Only time it ever happened to me.
She had clicked on an email attachment and infected her computer despite everyone being told not to an hour before.

 

[stracci2000]

I have a friend who is a truly beautiful woman.
I think it has been hard for her. She has two divorces and one broken engagement under her belt.
Men fawn over her, and I know she hates it.
I have seen men paw at her and ply her with drinks.
She is 60 but looks 40. Now single, she does not date and is happier for it.

 

[FL_runner]

I feel like in the scheme of things it’s nothing compared to what other people have to overcome because of their looks. But for me, when I was young I always had trouble being taken seriously and I was very frustrated and sometimes hurt by it. I’ve always been very studious and academically/career oriented but has people treat me like and idiot until I hit my mid 30s.

In high school I went to a science school, had perfect grades and test scores, varsity athlete, volunteered, worked part time… I went to ask my guidance counselor about potential scholarships (my parents took good care of us but did not have lots of $$ for school) and my guidance counselor looked at me and asked if I had thought about beauty pageants. Later in college i ran into a jerk rich guy classmate of mine and he said “wait you go to school here? I didn’t think you were smart!” Well, yes, smarter and more hard working than you actually! When you’re a southern sorority girl type of person on the outside just based on how you look and where you’re from,but actually quite serious… I laughed a little when Legally Blonde came out.

When I became a doctor I had patients who would never acknowledge that I was actually their doctor, sometimes for days- one time someone I had introduced myself to over and over was refusing to go home from the hospital after a week because he “had never seen a doctor”. And older male attendings hit on me which is NOT cool because real life is not Greys Anatomy. When I go running gross guys still follow me in their cars even when I push my baby jogger.

For my late teens and early 20s I actually tended to dress in gym clothes, men’s clothes from second hand shops, “punk” ish styles because I was sick of assumptions based on my looks. I didn’t want free drinks or to be hit on when I went out- I just wanted to have fun and dance with friends! Most people back off but there’s always those pushy guys.

Getting older has been a relief because people finally just listen to me and respect my opinion. Unfortunate age-ism is a thing too so I probably have 20-25 years until people are like “don’t listen to that old lady she’s probably addled”.

I have not had problems with colleagues, but I would say that in science/medicine if you are too “into” your looks and try too hard you may get some side-eye. I also never had trouble having wonderful girl friends and have a good number of platonic male friends and have never crossed a line in those friendships (I’ve been with my husband since age 17) but had women not like that I was friends with their boyfriend/spouse and get weird about it.

 

[stracci2000]

I don't think I am some great beauty. Probably average at best.
But I have had more than my share of male attention, wanted and unwanted.

 

[jaysonsmom]

Happy 4th of July from this lab nerd!

For what it’s worth, my 19 year old son (Biochem undergrad at UCSD interning in autoimmune disease and cancer research lab) has the good looks of a K-Pop boy band member….never judge a book by its cover.