Does your spouse like to go out more than you do?

[CJ2008]

DH definitely has more energy than I do, even though we're both the same age.

Tonight, he wants us to meet up with a friend who's in town to go dancing and I'm like DANCING? Like at a CLUB? Plus I would have to meet up with them because DH is working and would hit the place on his way home. I would sooooo much more rather go out for a glass of wine, some food...

I definitely am a little lazy... it's just so comfy to be home

I'm considering not going and he'll go anyway but then I feel like it's kind of bad of me not to go, that I must be so BORING (I keep hearing voices in my head of wives complaining that their husbands never want to do anything...I don't want him to think that of me!)

Any of you feel the same way? When do you push yourself to go?

 

[Nashville]

Yes. He golfs, goes to sporting events, concerts and house parties.

I go to the supermarket. Thank heaven for date night!

 

[CJ2008]

haha Nashville that's how I feel! Although it's by choice, I like being home...but sometimes I'm like why aren't I out doing something?

And seriously, to drive 30 minutes now, to go to a club...so NOT feeling it...

 

[Jennifer W]

We're pretty much the same, I suppose. I go out a little more, but probably because most of his close friends live much further away than mine do.

I don't think not wanting to go dancing is indicative of laziness or being boring, though. I'd rather set fire to my head. It isn't related to age or energy levels, just preferences. I have never wanted to go dancing. I can't see the appeal of clubs, I'm bored within the hour. I just find the whole thing inane and tedious. I get that some people love it, but I don't and I wouldn't fake it, either. Life's too short!

 

[rosetta]

YES.

he has to go out every single day, or he considers it wasted.

 

[elrohwen]

We're more of the opposite - I'm quite a homebody too, but DH is more so and sometimes I feel like I'm dragging him by his toes to get him out of the house. Haha. I figure we don't do things often, so I don't feel bad on the rare occasion when I do pressure him to go out - neither of us have ever been club people anyway, but it's a challenge to get DH to go to any bar. He'd rather sit on a couch and drink

 

[Laila619]

No, we're the opposite. In general I like to go out more than DH does.

 

[LGK]

Oh heck yes. He has as much energy as like, three normal people at least- he never sits, never stops moving. He alllllways wants to go out and do something every single night if we could. Often we do because then I have to deal with him fidgeting about the house and that's not really relaxing either! (When he does have to sit, he actually vibrates it's so hard for him to sit still- it's quite astonishing )

I'm way more laid back. We've actually had, ahem, disagreements on this subject a number of times. Basically the deal is I have to schedule super fun activities every month or so and organize them with friends, or he goes buggy. And we go out for more casual things- dinner with friends, out by ourselves for drinks/dinner, etc. a couple times a week.

(Part of the issue is all "our" friends are actually my girlfriends that he's adopted and he feels a bit like it's all in my control to schedule fun stuff with them, and he doesn't care for that- he just isn't a guy's guy and gets along wayyy better with a mob of us girls than with any guys generally.)

Ugh. Least you're not alone huh?

ETA: And total ditto to what JenniferW said. Clubs=hell, as far as I'm concerned. There's plenty of things I do love to do with friends that aren't boring- and you too probably, OP- but not liking dance clubs is totally reasonable IMO. Can't have a conversation there, way too loud!

 

[Miss Sparkly]

I used to be the go out all the time one. I'm so glad I married DH. He introduced me to quite book time, good movies and red wine In fact, now instead of going out I sit down with a glass of red, dark chocolate and a good documentary on netflix.

 

[charbie]

Most of the time we are pretty similar in our "energy levels" for wanting to go out. We like sporting events, bars, dinner with friends, and play on various sports teams throughout the year...although today I wanted to go to a friends house to watch a football game and he wanted to watch it laying on our couch.
Where we differ is that he often is running around doing various yardwork, always picking up a new random project to do around the house, and id rather just clean things up, get my laundry started, and relax.

Can't say I blame you for not wanting to drive 30 mins to go dancing at a club...can't say that would be my idea of a fun night out under normal circumstances.

 

[zoebartlett]

We're the opposite. Like Elrohwen, I'm kind of a homebody too, but I'm much more social than my husband. I'm more connected to my friends than he is to his, and he just doesn't have the same "need" to stay busy that I have. We've come to a compromise though, for the most part. We each have one day of the weekend to do what the other one wants to do. Saturdays are my days when we go out, do stuff, see people, etc., and Saturdays are his days, when we hang out at home and do whatever. We like to do our own thing too, and we work that into each weekend as well.

ETA: Oh and yeah, I'd rather poke my eye out with a stick than go clubbing. I never wanted to do that when I was younger, and I'm even less inclined now.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

We use to go out every weekend, but now that we have kids, it's not as easy spontaneously jumping in the car and going to a club/bar/movie. Now we mostly watch movies at home. Occasionally, during the day, we go to a bar and then see a movie. . .there is a theater by us that has a resturant that serves strong drinks. DH will have long island ice tea and I'll have a beer or two

 

[Sha]

DH and I are about the same when it comes to energy levels and going out. I do tend to go out more than him, though,because I'm more connected to my friends, whereas he hardly keeps in touch with his.

 

[Autumnovember]

My and I fiance have a 14 year age difference but we're both on the same page in terms of going out. Sometimes one of us won't be in the mood but that rarely happens. We rarely stay in and we both aren't into clubs.

 

[Dancing Fire]

My and I fiance have a 14 year age difference but we're both on the same page in terms of going out. Sometimes one of us won't be in the mood but that rarely happens. We rarely stay in and we both aren't into clubs.

who's older??

 

[Autumnovember]

My and I fiance have a 14 year age difference but we're both on the same page in terms of going out. Sometimes one of us won't be in the mood but that rarely happens. We rarely stay in and we both aren't into clubs.

who's older??

He is.

 

[Dancing Fire]

My and I fiance have a 14 year age difference but we're both on the same page in terms of going out. Sometimes one of us won't be in the mood but that rarely happens. We rarely stay in and we both aren't into clubs.

who's older??

He is.

lucky dude!!...

 

[CJ2008]

Feels good to see not wanting to go to a club doesn't make me boring (necessarily)

MC I like the idea of a bar and a movie during the day! We went to the movies the other day for a matinee but next time I'll suggest a drink first.

I love that DH is high energy because when I feel like doing something he's usually agreeable, and that's really nice.

Sha - we're the opposite - he's way more connected to EVERYONE than I am...

ETA:

OK now I'm going back and re-reading all your posts and just laughing at some stuff like LGK saying that clubs = hell haah

 

[jaysonsmom]

Dh is a homebody, I love to go out. I'm not a wild party girl though, I just like to go out to dinners with my best friends, play bunco with neighborhood ladies, do various outreach activities. It kinda works out because I don't force him to do stuff with me all the time, and he loves his time at home with our kids. We do a lot of family stuff on the weekend though. I can usually drag him out for picnics with friends, or Disneyland with the kids....he doesn't mind that too much.