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Does your age sometimes take you by surprise?

elizat

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2013
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3,120
I am 40 this year. It doesn't feel like I should be but here I am. There is a lot I have not done and things I thought I would have done by now. I don't really like going into the 40's if I'm honest. I guess the one nice thing is that the older you are, hopefully the closer to retirement you are?
 

oceanblue

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 14, 2020
Messages
120
Haha, I stopped counting my age as well, I may be 52 or 53.

The only time I feel old is when I look at myself in the mirror. Young people call us ol folks raisins....beach raisin, ski raisin, running raisin, dog walking raisin etc.

I am completely winging it, my parents seemed so mature, educated and immersed themselves in scholarly pursuits in their old age.

Even though there is science and art here on PS I am thinking maybe the mature adults are not hanging out on a jewelry forum.........
 

lissyflo

Brilliant_Rock
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May 23, 2016
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1,449
I was playing with the grandkids at the park on the playground equipment yesterday (swinging on the bars, running on the balance beams) and a dad asked me "how do you do it?" To me it was fun. Maybe I looked ridiculous. I don't know.
There is no way on earth that you looked ridiculous. You had fun & I bet your grandkids adored the time with you.
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 2, 2014
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4,335
I am not willing to do things I deem unpleasant, like bridal showers-lol. I value my time and only spend it doing things that bring me joy.

Yes, EXACTLY! I turned down a party invitation for tonight for this exact reason - i.e. only doing things that bring me joy. (I work hard in the week so I really detest Friday night invites - much prefer Sat nights - plus I'm not close to this person or their friend group.)

I've also had words with a few people lately who treated me disrespectfully. I don't care if they like me or not, it's the disrespect. I never thought that way when younger. Years ago, I'd have preferred to be liked over being respected, and now it's the other way round. One of them used my name without my permission to promote a client of hers, and I only found out when I happened to google myself last night out of boredom!

To answer the question, I think I look younger than I am, but I know it's only the extra weight. If I was my ideal weight, I'd probably look quite aged. I can fool myself in the mirror, but in photos the age of my skin shows up more. I'm not upset by it though, because I've always taken care of my skin by never smoking or sunbathing, so I figure I've done my best and that's all I can do.

I'm not surprised by my age. I guess I'm always quite aware of it. I bought longterm care insurance a while ago, and I have annual screenings for the many family cancers. Some things are definitely easier now, like not having the agony of having to decide whether or not to have children. Age has restored peace on that front, thank god. I'm about your age, Alex, and I'm surprised how I seem to be three-quarters of the way through menopause.

Being able to say "no" to things I don't want to do, and dropping friends who aren't very friendly, is getting easier. This is in service of the overall goal of having a more pleasant second half of my life than the first half was. The first half involved a lot of heartache, stress, and fear, and I'm trying to do everything I can to make the second half more enjoyable and less stressful. And being young isn't everything it's cracked up to be, anyway. I remember how much more people would talk down to me twenty years ago, how I was taken advantage of in the workplace by people much more experienced than me, and how crap it was not to have much money.

I think this age is pretty grand, actually. More respect, more money, less having to do the things you don't want to do, fewer family pressures, but not old enough to have serious health concerns (touch wood)!
 

ZestfullyBling

Ideal_Rock
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May 27, 2010
Messages
2,189
For you younger folks (I am 63)--age is a number and seriously, if you don't 'feel' mentally and physically younger than your age, you are doing something wrong!
The older I get, the less I worry about what others think.
Yeah--I am a little sad that my runway is getting shorter. But it makes me try to pack as much joy, fun and happiness in each day. I am not willing to do things I deem unpleasant, like bridal showers-lol. I value my time and only spend it doing things that bring me joy.

Amen to bridle showers…I’m over it. Sending the gift in the mail.
 

diamondringlover

Ideal_Rock
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Dec 12, 2006
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4,074
I turned 60 last December...I always kinda of thought I didn't look to horrible for my old age...it was weird the other night I glanced at myself in a mirror and thought dang when did I get this old...and I looked old...guess its just wishful thinking to look younger..sigh maybe a slight facelift is the answer..but really it doesn't matter....today I am feeling every dang year...I have arthritis in my back and have had for years (thanks to a fall when I was a child) and it is giving me terrible fits today
 

Alex T

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 24, 2012
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I turned 60 last December...I always kinda of thought I didn't look to horrible for my old age...it was weird the other night I glanced at myself in a mirror and thought dang when did I get this old...and I looked old...guess its just wishful thinking to look younger..sigh maybe a slight facelift is the answer..but really it doesn't matter....today I am feeling every dang year...I have arthritis in my back and have had for years (thanks to a fall when I was a child) and it is giving me terrible fits today

Big but gentle hugs to you. I hope your back feels less bothersome soon.
 

PriceScopeKayti

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2012
Messages
323
I have been really struggling with this this year. I don't know if it was COVID related isolation stress or what. Being 42 with a 7 year old certainly reminds a person why people have kids younger.

I wouldn't change it, she is my heart, but I still look for an adult in the room sometimes when things call for one. The harsh realization that I am the adult in the room is a rude awakening. :razz:
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2016
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8,564
Happy belated birthday @Alex T!

I just said to DH this week, do you believe we were just a couple of 22 year old kids and here we are 20 years later with all this?! By all this I mean having a house and kids and pets and bills that get paid on time. We were just two kids and somehow we didn’t get clobbered by life, instead we rode the wave and got a bit jostled but made it through.

To answer your question, I am surprised by my age because it’s like life just happened and here I am 20 years later still going!
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jun 8, 2008
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46,830
To expand upon my initial thoughts. It’s not just my age that shocks me at times. It’s my family's age and friends age too. Dad is 87. Mom is 78. My DH 62. Time is flying. :shock:

We all look much older but in my head we’re all still much younger. It’s shocking when I realize nope. Not young anymore.

My parents visited yesterday. Every moment is precious and a gift.

momanddadjune2021.png

missyandgregfrontohousejune2021.png
 

Made in London

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 11, 2020
Messages
617
I am 40 this year. It doesn't feel like I should be but here I am. There is a lot I have not done and things I thought I would have done by now. I don't really like going into the 40's if I'm honest. I guess the one nice thing is that the older you are, hopefully the closer to retirement you are?

The older I get the more I put off retirement. I have been running my own business for 41 years & at 67 years old, I should have retired at 60 but I keep soldiering on:shock:Goodness knows how old I'll be when I finally retire:eek2:
 

Slick1

Ideal_Rock
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Jan 3, 2013
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3,384
It’s funny how you know you’re old when your first conversation with a “peer” is discussing how much longer until retirement!! Eek!! I tell my dh to please not rush these final few years until we retire because every year should be savored, especially as we get up here in age.
I am 54. I feel much younger in body but not in mind and soul. It’s been one helluva ride though!!
 

elizat

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2013
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3,120
The older I get the more I put off retirement. I have been running my own business for 41 years & at 67 years old, I should have retired at 60 but I keep soldiering on:shock:Goodness knows how old I'll be when I finally retire:eek2:

I would love to retire at 60-63. I don't know if I can. I practice law (litigation, not transactional). I have a stressful job that I enjoy at times, but I am always on edge because of it. I think a lot of what you pick to do for a career plays into it. I can't imagine being 67/68 and preparing for trials until the wee hours of the morning.
 

YadaYadaYada

Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2016
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8,564
Just this morning I had an age-related shocker. I was behind a Mitsubishi Eclipse around 97-98 model with classic car plates!

I graduated high school in 1997 (insert pained face emoji here).
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 2, 2014
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4,335
@missy, your house is beautiful! And your dress/cardi combo is :kiss2: Is that a Boden dress, perchance? Very stylish, along with the cool sunglasses! I'm so looking forward to wearing clothes like that when my weight-loss journey is complete.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jan 11, 2006
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57,722
Ugh, yes! I try to celebrate 39 yearly on my birthday, because that's my brain age! :lol:It is really discouraging to look in the mirror. The skin started showing aging and wrinkles in the last 5 years, and I don't feel it looks like me when I look in the mirror! I dislike pictures of myself now, but I allow a few so that my kids and grandkids will hopefully remember me. I need to lose 20 pounds, too, but it's hard to get motivated. So all you young people at 47, take lots of pictures now!!! I was too busy all those years taking the pictures of everyone else!
 

redwood66

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 22, 2012
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7,264
My body is starting to slow down and my brain is still young. It's frustrating especially when I don't look my age. I guess I should be glad of that in my mid 50's.
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 2, 2014
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Omg, @Alex T, that is so true! I make a conscious effort to appreciate getting older, because it's a privilege. I lost a number of friends between the ages of 37 and 45, and it made me reflect. (Causes included young cancers, a DVT after a long flight, and two suicides.) I think of them sometimes, and I know how lucky I am to turn 44,45,46,47 etc.
 

Jambalaya

Ideal_Rock
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Oct 2, 2014
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I wouldn't change it, she is my heart, but I still look for an adult in the room sometimes when things call for one. The harsh realization that I am the adult in the room is a rude awakening. :razz:

I had something similar! When my sister had her kids, it took me ages to adjust to there being a whole new generation. The discombobulation would show up when we were all visiting and someone would mention "Grandma" or "Grandad." I'd think, "That's weird, Grandma and Grandad are dead." Then I'd realize that the Grandma or Grandad of the conversation was my parents! Got me every time for a long time.

Also for a long time from my twenties onward, when I'd read something referring to "your family" or hear some youngish person referring to their family, I'd think they were talking about their parents and siblings. I'd get a slight start when I realized they meant their own kids. It took quite a few years for the word "family" to switch, in my mind, from meaning "family of origin" to meaning one's own family.

It will probably be the same when my nieces and nephew have their own family. I'll be great-aunt, and I'll be thinking, "That's weird; all our great-aunts are dead... OH! RIGHT! I'm the great-aunt."

But they're under 18 still, so that day is a way off, hopefully!
 

FL_runner

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 23, 2020
Messages
709
I’m only turning 40 so it’s not too bad yet… but I am finding that im sore all the time from things that used to be easy (like my workouts), I’m more tired, and put on weight a lot more easily than I used to. I’m my head I’m still 29 but my body has just started to slow down a little and show some wear and tear but it seems way too early for that!

It’s also so crazy to me to see my kiddos grow- seems like it’s happening so fast! When they’re adults and moving out I don’t know how I will feel!!!
 

MamaBee

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 31, 2018
Messages
10,691
Amen to bridle showers…I’m over it. Sending the gift in the mail.

I have one to go to one next month. I really don’t mind them. I know everyone hates them…but I enjoy seeing the excitement in a young person’s eyes when they’re engaged and looking forward to the future. I know I’m such a dork..
 

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
1,573
Reading all of these answers is so entertaining for me because I'm definitely on the younger side (in my late 20s) and if you ask me or my friends all of us moan about how old we're getting and how we feel so much older than our biological ages. For example, I find it difficult to sleep now - I can't tolerate sound, light, the wrong temperature, the wrong pillow thickness, the wrong mattress softness - as opposed to when I was a teenager and could almost sleep standing up. I have back pain now if I don't stretch properly before workouts even though I'm a lot fitter now as compared to my early 20s. Also, I used to frequently pull all-nighters in college, and was very productive without good sleep; now I can't imagine staying up all night, I will be a zombie the next day. I could also mix drinks or drink a lot of alcohol 6-7 years ago... and now if I have more than two glasses of wine I have a wicked hangover the next day.

So I too frequently am surprised when I realise I'm not even 30 yet... but in my case I definitely feel older than I really am!
 

AnastasiaBeaverhausen

Brilliant_Rock
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Sep 11, 2013
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1,652
I have one to go to one next month. I really don’t mind them. I know everyone hates them…but I enjoy seeing the excitement in a young person’s eyes when they’re engaged and looking forward to the future. I know I’m such a dork..

I love going to then to support a friend and to share their excitement. It's those games for bridal (and baby!) showers that I detest. No, I don't want to guess who bought you those panties. Blech.
 
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